For Educational Purposes
by Alysmiller
Summary: Student/Teacher fic between Brendan Brady and Steven Hay. Ste has had a tough life being beaten by his step father Terry and school seems to be the best place for him. He suddenly forms an unusual friendship with his supply teacher; Brendan. As their relationship deepens, there's drama, return of old faces, revenge seekers, arguments and lots of twists and turns. Can they hold out?
1. The Supply Teacher

Ste slung his bag over his shoulder, pulled his tie around his neck and glanced over at his mum, who was face down on the sofa, drool coming from her mouth. He hated seeing her like this, but then again it wasn't something that was unusual to him. She had been like this since he could remember, going out, getting pissed until god knows what time in the morning, returning home with a stinking hangover and shouting at him for no reason. It was a re-occurring pattern now. She awoke from her slumber, eyes scrunched up and a face that looked like it had been hit by a bus.

'Ste. Water. Painkillers. Now'

'Water is in the tap, painkillers top shelf in the cupboard. You should know the drill by now'

Pauline looked at Ste as if he had grown another head.

'What did you just say to me boy?'

'You heard. I got to go to school.'

'You're not going anywhere. You look after your mother when she is sick'

'You're not sick. You're hungover 'cos you fell out with Terry. I'm doing A-levels now and I can't afford to miss lessons. Deal with this on your own'

'Come here you little shit!'

Pauline lunged at Ste, fists clenched and intentional on causing him physical pain, but he was quick, sharp, nimble and he made it out the door before she could land the punch.

Leaning against the door, head flat against it, he closed his eyes, wishing how he had another life. A mother that loved him no matter what, a dad who was there for him and sorted out the boys who bullied him, like any other normal family. Instead he had a mother who was a drunk and a father who beat him senseless at every opportunity. Ste thumped his head against the door and set off to school, thankful to get away from his horrid life for another day. He appreciated the time he could spend with his friends, treasured them like another family.

Xxx

He went to his first class, pushing his best mate Callum off the desk at the front, while he was trying to chat up the girls.

'Ste you little bastard! I was well in there'

'Hmm yeah. That's why they're pissin' themselves laughing!'

They heard the door click open and all turned in unison, not expecting to see a man stroll in casually, briefcase in hand. Ste was entranced. He had felt feelings like these a few times for guys, but had never acted upon them, and there was something about girls that he didn't find attractive. He knew a gorgeous, pretty girl when he saw one, but there was no physical attraction, despite the fact he had tried to convince himself there was. Nobody knew he was gay. Not yet. He wanted to tell his mates at the right time. But this guy who walked in was gorgeous. Slick, spiky hair, tight fitting suit, glasses and gorgeous blue eyes.

'Hey guys my name's Mr Brady. Well, as you can probably tell, Miss Hartigan isn't here today, and she won't be for the next few months as she's had an operation, so until she returns, I'll be covering for her. Now give me a chance, I haven't taught English before but I'll try and help all of you through your A-level exam. So if you try, I'll try as well okay? Sit.'

He took the register, and Ste couldn't take his eyes off him. He admired his sexy Irish accent, and the way he propped himself forwards on his elbows and the way he scratched the back of his neck with his pen.

'...Callum Hedges?'

'Yes Sir'

'Steven Hay?'

Needless to say, he wasn't paying any attention.

'No Steven Hay?'

Callum nudged him.

'Oi! Ste!'

'Oh Sorry. Yes Sir'

Brendan looked over the top of his glasses and did a double take of Ste and smiled, seeing how Ste's chin was in his palm and how he had evidently drifted off.

'Need to pay more attention Steven'

'Sorry Sir. Call me Ste. Everyone does'

Brendan took off his glasses and put one of the arms in his mouth, lightly biting it with his front teeth.

'Your parents called you Steven. So that's what I'll call you'

'Okay. Suit yourself'

Ste shrugged it off.

Xxx

Looking at the work in front of him, he had no idea what he was doing. Staring at a fit teacher did nothing for his work ethic, and he decided to pluck up the courage and ask for help.

'Yes Steven?'

'Urmm... I don't get it'

'What don't you get?'

Ste was embarrassed and so he indicated for Mr Brady to come over, which thankfully he did, leaning on the table, close to Ste's face, which unnerved him slightly, but he could smell his aftershave and it was so fucking manly, he just inhaled, closing his eyes at how it had immediately made him aroused.

'You smell nice'

Mr Brady was hesitant but took the compliment and Ste practically kicked himself under the table. 'Why the fuck did you say that for you dick?!' He screamed it over and over inside his head.

'What do you need help with Steven?'

'Well this is Streetcar named Desire yeah? And what I don't understand is why, Blanche's husband shoots himself when it says they are happy together? If they share such love, then why did he take that away from himself?'

'Because he is gay. Alan, Blanche's husband, shot himself because of his sexuality. Blanche fell in love at a young age, and during the 1940's homosexuality was seen as a type of crime in New Orleans, so he tried to convince himself that he loved her, but unfortunately Blanche discovered his secret. Consequently that lead to an argument, in which Blanche states the he is disgusting. Driving him to commit suicide because of shame.'

'Oh. Then why does she feel the need to cover it up?'

'She is haunted by her past, and she feels the need to slip back into fantasy to stop herself from hurting'

'Right.'

'You okay now? You get it?'

'Yeah. That's mint. Thanks Sir. I appreciate it'

Xxx

The bell rang for break and Ste was disappointed. All through class he had glanced up every so often to admire Mr Brady as he concentrated on marking, licking his top lip slightly and biting occasionally.

'Okay you can go. Put your essays on my desk on the way out and I'll mark them and have them back to you by Friday. Steven can I have a word'

His heart began to pound against his chest, the heat within him increasing, making him sweaty and flushed, blood rushing to his groin as Mr Brady perched on the edge of his desk.

'I'll see you outside yeah?'

Callum elbowed him and gave a nod of approval.

'Yeah. Shouldn't be long. You alright Sir? What's up?'

'Pass your essay'

Mr Brady quickly scanned through it, giving the odd nod here and there, biting the arm of his glasses again.

'You got some good points in there. Well structured but you've got a lot of spelling mistakes. Can't have that in the exam Steven'

'Yeah I'm dyslexic. I do revise spellings and stuff at home but... I just can't remember sometimes. I'm sorry'

'Don't apologise. Well I'm here for the next few months until Miss comes back, so if you need me to go through some stuff with you, and help you with spelling then I am happy to put some time aside'

He smiled and leaned back slightly, striking his hips forward slightly.

'You'd do that for me Sir?'

'Of course. I can see you work hard and I want you all to do well. So I'm here every day after school so pop along if you want some help.'

'Definitely Sir. That'd be ace. Tah'

'You're welcome. Go have a break. Good lad'

Mr Brady's eyes followed Ste as he left, eyeing him up and down. He found the young man incredibly attractive. Young, fresh, toned, his skin a golden brown and his eyes shadowed by a hood of long lashes.

'You alright Ste?'

Callum asked.

'Yeah good. Sir was just offering to help with my spelling and stuff before the exam. Y'know with my dyslexia'

'That's good of him'

'Yeah he's cute'

'You what?'

Callum stopped in his tracks, frowning at Ste, seeing through him as he stuttered his reply, stumbling over his words and sweating with embarrassment.

'I mean like... that's cute of him to offer... No... he's cute to be that nice to me... well... No cute is the wrong word'

'Right. Okay.'

Callum just shook his head, raised his eyebrows and brushed off what Ste had said


	2. Results Day

Ste went to every revision class with Mr Brady. Partly because he wanted to stare at that gorgeous, perfect arse of his when he turned around to write something on the board and partly because he wanted to prove to his mum and Terry that he wasn't a failure.

'Right guys, I've decided that you are all capable of doing well, so I have entered you into the January exam in the hope that you will do well first time round. Plus that means you get the opportunity to re-take if needs be. So if you put your head down, crack on, you'll be able to pass and not have to worry about that anymore okay?'

Xxx

Ste went into the exam confident and came out in the same state of mind. He had done well and he knew it and before he knew it, it was the end of January, meaning it was results day. He walked up to the table labelled E-H and took a deep breath.

'What's your name love?'

'Um Steven Hay'

The woman quickly flicked through the brown envelopes and handed Ste his when she found it. He went to the far corner of the hall where Callum, Pete, Jack and Ashley were all standing.

'Right you ready lads?'

Callum asked, shaking his shoulders and hopping on the spot.

'Let's do it. On three... One... Two... Three!'

They tore open the envelopes and gawped at the grades they got. Ste was gobsmacked at what he had achieved, a stupid wide grin spread across his face and he sprinted off, leaving the others confused.

'Oi Ste! Where you going?'

'I'll be right back. I need to go see Sir!'

Ste swung the door open to Mr Brady's class and danced all the way up to the desk where he was sitting, marking Year 11 MOK's by the look of it, spinning, jumping, flailing his arms everywhere.

'Take a look at that bad boy!'

Ste slapped the piece of paper onto the table, and Mr Brady stood and giggled as Ste continued to dance around the class.

'You got an A?! Jesus! Well done lad!'

'Awwww yeah! All thanks to you Sir!'

Ste skipped over to the desk and perched on the side, swinging his legs back and forth, smiling at Mr Brady.

'I'm proud of you. Seriously well done.'

'I did nothing. It was you. All you. Thank you'

Ste threw himself at Mr Brady, wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging him, inhaling his manly aftershave once again, which took him back to the first day that he came in, before they had formed such a beautiful friendship. He could feel Mr Brady's arms around him, hesitant at first, relaxed, but then he felt the tension build in his biceps as the hug became deep and meaningful. Ste pulled away, the smile fading from his face as he composed himself.

'Um... Sorry Sir. Spur of the moment.'

'It's okay. Well... Looks like you won't have to take this test again. We're going to start The Kite Runner after lunch. Did you read it like I asked?'

'Oh Um... I've nearly finished. I'm a bit slow at reading as you know so... But I tried. Bit weird init?'

'That's okay. If you want to carry on coming back after school, I can help you finish it and anything you don't understand, I can go through with you'

'Yeah. That'd be wicked. Thanks'

Mr Brady held out a hand and Ste took it, shaking it lightly and taking back his results. Ste's heart flipped at the physical contact, the soft, delicate hand, inside a more manly, tough grip, sent electricity surging through his veins and he jumped as the bell rang loudly in his ears.

'I'll see you after lunch. I've really got to mark these papers'

Xxx

Ste went to the canteen where he was met by his friends, and he lined up in the queue where he was unfortunately met by Ricki. The big bad wolf of the 6th Form.

'Hey queer. Do well in your tests? Well your dyslexic so you probably did shite'

Ste ignored him as he always did, and then a hand was on his shoulder, forcing him round, where Ricki towered over him.

'I asked you a question'

'Yeah and I ain't answering. If you don't mind'

He turned to see one of the members of his posy glaring at him, like a lion who was craving meat. Ste looked down, avoiding eye contact and pushed past Ricki, elbowing him slightly, waiting to see if he'd get a punch in the face.

Xxx

Ste finally made it out of there, food in hand and he was still in tact. When he sat with his friends they too glared at him.

'What you lot looking at?'

'Where the hell did you go Ste?'

'I went to see Mr Brady. I got an A in English!'

All of their faces suddenly relaxed.

'Oh my god! Well done mate! That's awesome. You worked your ass off so you deserve that!'

He was patted on the back and playfully slapped in the face and called a 'boff'. So this is what achievement felt like. A sudden buzz that you get in the pit of your stomach, knowing that people are proud of you, and blood and adrenalin surging through your body, feeling proud of yourself at the same time. This was a glorious moment, and he treasured it. He took a bite of his pizza and laughed and joked with all of his friends, thinking that if he could get an A in English, he could do anything. He took a drink from his bottle but accidently spilled it all over his lap.

The laughter stopped as his friends looked at him as if he was crazy. They turned pale and a worried expression filled their faces. Ste looked down at his lap. _Why did you do that you idiot?!_ He tried to talk, but all he could do was mumble. His lips wouldn't move, his head felt like it was going to implode, his vision blurry almost like he was opening his eyes under water. All the energy drained out of him and he suddenly collapsed, falling off of his chair, thudding the floor and foam spilling out of his mouth as he shook uncontrollably, sweat pouring from his skin as he lost consciousness.


	3. The Truth Always Comes Out

Ste opened his eyes slowly, took in the white walled room, tried to make his eyes focus. He raised his hand and saw the cannula sticking out of it, a drip connected to him, an oxygen mask on his face and pads stuck to his chest. It took all of his energy to sit up and he was suddenly panic stricken. He started to rip the pads off his chest, took off the mask and tried to stand up.

'Woah hey. Steady there son. Come on. Let's sit you back up'

A nurse caught him by the shoulders and sat him back gently.

'Where am I? What happened?'

'You were poisoned. You had a lucky escape. It seemed you had a large dose of Rohypnol in your bloodstream.'

'What's that?'

'It's also known as the Date rape drug. It's quite lethal in large doses. You've been unconscious for a couple of days now. The drip contains fluids that have flushed the drugs out of your body. You should be able to go home in a few hours'

'Drugged? How?'

'We're not sure how, all we know is that it's taste is untraceable. You could have drunk it, eaten it.' She shrugged.

'God. Okay. Thank you'

Ste stared at the ceiling. He had been drugged. At school! How the hell had that happened? He could feel the after affects. His head was thumping and he still felt sick to his stomach.

Xxx

'Right, I just checked your latest blood screening, and you're all clean. You can go home. Get plenty of rest, because you will feel rough for a few more days. Take things easy okay. How old are you?'

'I'm 18. I'll discharge myself'

Ste signed the forms and dressed back into his school uniform. It was obvious that he wouldn't wake up to his mother by his side. She was probably out drinking and as for Terry, he was probably drinking too. He picked up his bag and noticed some cards on the top. As he walked home he took them out of the envelopes. They read;

'_To Ste. You gave us a fright there mate. We all rode in the ambulance with you. Mr Brady let us go with you. What a diamond bloke eh? It was awesome! Hearing the sirens and everything. We're glad to hear you're going to be okay. We've visited you after school but you were still out. Hope to see you soon mate. Mr B has been worried about you. We all have._

_Callum, Ashley, Jack and Pete_

Ste laughed. He was glad that he had such wicked mates that supported him through everything.

Xxx

He eventually got home and was greeted by a drunk Terry. He was slurring, wobbly on his feet with a beer in hand, spilling it everywhere and shouting at him, getting in his face and he could smell the alcohol on his breath.

'So! Our local druggie is back!'

'I'm not a druggie Terry. I got drugged at school.'

'You're a right junkie aren't you? I bet all of your mates do it as well, behind the bike shed and everything!'

Ste mumbled under his breath as he headed towards his room.

'Shut up'

'What did you say boy?'

Ste turned and just has he rotated the full 180 degrees, he was punched in the ribs, hard and he was winded, collapsing to the floor, clinging around his torso, gasping for breath.

'The world would be better off without you, you little bastard'

Terry walked away, gulping back some more beer. His ribs weren't broken, Ste had had plenty of fractured ribs, all of which were caused by Terry, so he knew what that felt like. But they were badly bruised none the less. Ste cowered in the corner of the kitchen, unable to get up. He cried himself to sleep on the floor, wishing that tomorrow would come, so he could see his friends and give Callum a brotherly hug.

When Ste got into school the next day, he flinched as Callum jumped on him. The pain in his ribs was excruciating, but he knew how to deal with it now and he could hide his pain quite easily.

'Mate! We've missed you so much!'

'Missed you too. Good to be back'

'You gave us a fright there buddy. We thought we had lost you'

'I thought I'd stick around!'

'Right we have Mr B first. So, come on. He's been as worried as we have'

They all walked together, and Ste couldn't help thinking about Mr Brady. Why would he be worried? They were friends yeah, but he was his teacher. By the way Callum was describing it, it almost seemed like he was worried sick, so much so that he couldn't teach properly, or he was losing sleep over it. They walked into class and everyone's heads turned simultaneously and it went dead.

'Ah Steven! Good to see you again. How you doing lad? We were worried about you'

It was amazing to hear that gorgeous, thick Irish accent again. Mr Brady patted him on the shoulder, his index finger touching the nape of his neck slightly. His touch alone sent a spark through him and he felt happy. For the first time in a while, he really felt happy, his blue eyes deeply staring into his own.

'Yeah I'm good. Feeling a bit rough, but I'm okay.'

'Glad to hear it.'

He gave a subtle wink and lightly tapped his face with his palm.

Xxx

The bell rang for lunch and Ste walked down the corridor alone, heading for the toilets to examine the damage.

'Alright gay boy?'

Ste halted on the spot and pivoted on one foot and saw Ricki leaning on the wall, one foot against it with a grin across his face.

'Did you enjoy your little overdose the other day?'

Then it hit him. When Ricki turned him round in the canteen and grabbed him by the shirt, one of his posy must have slipped the drug into his Pizza. He needed to tell someone, but who would believe him? It was his word against Ricki's.

'It was you. You put me in hospital'

'Well, you're a dirty little faggot. Wanted to be rid of your face for a few days'

Ste snapped, launched himself at Ricki and smashed him in the face, splitting his lip. He straddled him, landing punches all over his face and chest, his teeth gritted to the point where he could feel them weaken under the immense force. He forgot who he was, the sincere heat and anger took him over. Ricki managed to land a single hit to Ste in the face, causing him to fly backwards.

Suddenly a pair of huge arms caught him around the torso before he could lunge at Ricki again.

'Hey! Cut it out now!'

Mr Brady threw Ste to the side and placed a hand on his shoulder, the other holding Ricki.

'What the hell do you think you're doing? He shouted

Neither of them answered. Ricki swiped the blood from his mouth as Ste clung to his ribs.

'Steven! My room! You with me!'

Mr Brady yanked Ricki by the collar, throwing him forwards towards the head teachers office.

'Go!'

Xxx

Ste waited in Mr Brady's room, clutching to his ribs, holding back the tears. The door swung open.

'So I have saved your skin once already and now you get yourself into more trouble? What the hell is wrong with you boy?'

'Saved my skin? What?'

Ste looked up, confusion written all over his face.

'Everyone thought you were a druggie, including the principal, but I managed to keep you in school. It took me a lot of convincing to stop you from getting kicked out and this is how you repay me? I know you're a good kid, but it's not like they know that is it? Why did you have to go and punch the crap out of Ricki?'

'He was taking the piss outta me'

'And that's an excuse?! Steven you should know this. You confide in your mates, you tell your parents, or you tell me'

'My parents? My parents?! Are you kidding me! They would probably help him!'

Ste exploded in Mr Brady's face, slinging the chair half way across the room.

'Help him? What are you talkin' about?'

Mr Brady was suddenly calm. Ste lifted his shirt, revealing the gaping bruise to his abdominals.

'You see this? This is what my step dad did to me! He punched me in the ribs because I got drugged! And my mum is a pathetic excuse of a woman! Going out, getting drunk all the time! She wasn't even there when I woke up in fucking hospital! I had to discharge myself! How do you think that makes me feel?'

Ste kicked the table next to him, forcing it over onto its side and as he began to cry, he sulked back down into another chair next to him. Mr Brady was in shock, he had known the boy had troubles, but to be physically assaulted by your own guardians was something he didn't expect.

'Steven'

His tone was calm, collected and quite soothing. He rested a hand on Ste's shoulder, kneeling down so he could see his face.

'Why didn't you tell anyone?'

Ste spluttered over his words, tears streaming down his face.

'Who could I tell? I've haven't got anyone. Not really. I'm 18, I should be able to deal with this'

'You're 18? Why are you doing AS level work? You should be doing A2.'

'I missed the exams last year because...'

Ste paused and looked Mr Brady in the eye, seeking approval on whether to tell him.

'You can tell me Steven. I won't say anything. I promise'

'...Because Terry, my step dad, put me in hospital. Broken ribs and a punctured lung. My mum said I fell out of a tree, and they said I could come back and redo last year.'

He sniffed, wiping his nose with the cuff of his jumper. Mr Brady sighed, appalled at what he was hearing. Out of the blue, Ste's stomach growled loudly.

'Wow... I'm hungry.'

Ste patted his belly.

'You want to go grab some food? We'll go off the premises so you can calm down a bit?'

'Yeah. That sounds good. Thanks Sir'


	4. Knowing this was right

Ste and Mr Brady walked to reception, not exchanging a word. It wasn't awkward as such, there was just nothing to be said.

'Sign me out Laura. I haven't got to teach for the rest of the day. Just going to pop home and get some marking done'

'Okay Sir. I'll see you tomorrow'

She suddenly went flustered, her plump cheeks flushing red, and she fluttered her eyelashes in embarrassment. It was obvious that she had a thing for Mr Brady.

'Thanks chick. See you tomorrow'

Ste grabbed the pen next to the Sign in/out book and quickly scribbled his name down.

'Urm. Where are you going Ste?'

Laura asked, attempting to interrogate him but to no avail.

'I have double study next. Was just gunna go home and revise for a bit. Plus, I still feel a bit dodgy, after everything that's happened y'know?'

She had obviously forgotten about that, and stuttered over her words, forcing a smile.

'Oh... well... yes. Okay. Get well soon'

Xxx

'Oh my god. That tastes amazing!'

Ste talked through a mouthful of food, closed his eyes and appreciated the divine taste that tickled his taste buds.

'Filling that hole in your stomach I hope'

'Oh god yeah! Thanks for this Sir. I'll pay you back tomorrow'

'Please. Call me Brendan. Outside of school that is'

'Brendan? Brendan Brady. Hm. Nice twing to it I suppose'

Ste giggled and the waiter came along, took his plate away from him and leaned over to collect his glass. He was mega cute. Skinny, black hair, pale skin, definitely a cutie and Ste admired him, eyed his body up and down, followed him as he turned and walked away, and Ste peered backwards over his shoulder to get a look at his bum.

'Like the look of him do you?'

Brendan leaned back in his seat, crossed his legs, raised his eyebrows and folded his arms. Ste stuttered, flicked his eyes downwards, played with his fingernails.

'I urrrm. I just... I dunno. I don't know who I am really.'

'Well have you been with guys before?'

Ste was defensive, determined not to be judged.

'No! I've never... I thought about it but I've never. I know a gorgeous girl when I see one, I just don't find them attractive, if you know what I mean.'

'There's nothing to be ashamed of. If I were to give you any advice, try it. You will know if it is for you. Don't hide who you are, you should come out and be confident, otherwise karma will come round and bite you in the arse'

Ste snorted.

'Sounds like you're talking from experience'

Brendan didn't say anything. He just sat there, calm and cool, fingers still intertwined.

'Wait... You're...?'

'Between you and me Steven. All the staff at school know, but I'd prefer it if you kept that to yourself. I have been there, trying to hide it all. I got married to a woman and was with her for a while, living a lie. I didn't want to, but I didn't have the courage. Don't do what I did. Be honest with yourself.

Xxx

Ste walked up to his friends, serious look on his face, and took a deep breath.

'Guys. I need to talk to you about something'

'Shoot' Callum replied.

'I need to tell you something. About me'

'Is this about you being bent?' Ashley asked, propping himself forward on his elbows.

'You... what?'

'We all knew from the start mate. It was obvious. The way you stare at Sir in English gives it away. No shame brother'

Ste was gobsmacked at how cool they all were.

'You knew? All along?'

'Yeah. Just don't try and hit on any of us okay?' Pete frowned but giggled afterwards, smiled up at Ste and patted his elbow.

Xxx

It was the weekend and Ste popped out to the shops, to get away from his hung over mother. He stopped outside, and read a text Pete sent him.

'_Alright Bender! Just checking to see if you're okay and if you are free Monday after school?'_

Ste giggled to himself and he suddenly felt a tugging at the bottom of his trousers, only to find a puppy chewing at his chino's.

'Hey there!'

He sat on the floor and embraced the puppy, a Husky by the look of it, as it started to lick his face, jump all over him in excitement and make small whimpering noises, in seek for attention.

'Aw you're gorgeous aren't you! Yes you are'

'You like her Steven?'

Ste jumped at the familiar voice and stood, taking the dog up with him with one hand.

'This yours Sir?'

Brendan took the puppy back, snuggled her up in his forearms, one hand propped under her bum.

'Yeah. Gorgeous isn't she? Miya is her name. She is my baby'

'She's beautiful'

He couldn't help but notice that Brendan was wearing a sleeveless shirt and trackie bottoms.

'Oh. Yeah. I've just got out of the gym. Probably weird seeing me like this'

Ste petted Miya, rubbed between her ears, and stroked a thumb along her fluffy ears.

'No it's... different. I came out by the way. Yeah. To my mates yesterday. They were so cool with it. Feels like a huge weight off my chest'

'What did I say? Nothing to be ashamed of'

'You were right. Thanks for giving me the courage to do it. I won't say anything about you either by the way.'

They stood, smiling at each other for a few minutes.

'Do you wana come back to mine for a coffee? We can work on some Kite Runner if you want. Get some extra revision in there?'

Ste was surprised. Shocked in fact. He had never been asked to return to a teachers house before.

'Urm. Yeah. Sure that'd be great'

Xxx

They arrived at Brendan's house, and he made them both a cuppa as Ste sat on the sofa, re-reading a chapter from the book.

'There you go'

Ste took the hot mug out of Brendan's hand, took a sip and then sat it down on the table. Brendan sat next to him, throwing an arm backwards and resting it along the sofa.

'So how's those ribs of yours?'

'Okay thanks. Still really sore but, it'll heal. Please don't say anything to anyone. It's just trouble that I don't need'

'I wasn't planning on it. Completely confidential'

'Thanks Brendan'

'It's okay'

Brendan brushed a hand down the back of Ste's head until it skimmed the his neck. The contact sent that heap of adrenalin through Ste's body, his heart picking up the pace, thumping in his ears. He turned slightly, lifted a leg underneath him. Brendan swiped Ste's fringe out of his eyes, tucked it behind his ears, then stroked a thumb down his cheek. They both moved forward, until their lips were inches apart. They questioned for a second, stared at each other, then closed the distance, their lips pressing together softly, moving in sync, and it suddenly became an opened mouthed kiss, Brendan's tongue sliding into Ste's mouth in the sweet exchange of saliva, his hand finding Ste's waist, cupping his bony figure. It was filled with passion and desire, and Ste was hauled onto Brendan's lap, and he gasped and winced at the shooting pain in his ribs.

'You okay?'

Brendan whispered, his palms sliding down Ste's back and cupping his bum, his hands slipping into the back pockets.

'Yeah. I'm fine'

Ste smiled and kissed Brendan again, deeper and harder, combing his fingers through his hair and lightly pulling, scraping his nails through his scalp and down his neck, grinding his body slightly and lifting his hips, thrusting them forwards. It felt so right, kissing a guy. The searing heat, passion and lust was out of this world and being able to run his hands over masculine arms and down a flat torso, was something Ste had never done before, but it was something that he knew he could do a million times and he would still get the same liberating feeling.


	5. Setting His Body On Fire

Chapter 5

Brendan hadn't turned up to school all week and Ste was furious. Not only had they shared a kiss, but Ste had shared some of his darkest secrets, something he hadn't told his closest friends, or his family members. There was something about _Mr Brady_ that Ste couldn't pinpoint, something indecipherable. He felt like he could trust him, unequivocally so. It wasn't the pathetic sort of trust, the one where you tell someone a secret about who you fancy and you trust them not to tell anyone. This was on a much larger scale. It was almost like Mr Brady was becoming something essential in Ste's life, a fragmentation that he _needed. _

He wasn't going to take this lying down, wasn't going to be degraded again. He needed answers and tomorrow, he was going to get them.

* * *

It was Saturday morning. The clouds were white and fluffy, rays of sun peaking through the torn gaps, birds singing their songs contently, all of which contrasted Ste's outrage. He was stood outside of Brendan's house, a face like thunder, fists clenched, hammering against the front door. Brendan forced it open in bewilderment, confused as to who would be trying to disturb him this early on a weekend. His face fell and eyes widened when he set his sights on Ste's face, pupils blown in anger, jaw locked and knuckles white. Ste barged straight past him, shoulders clashing with great force.

'Where the hell have you been!?'

Ste spat as he took his bottom lip between his teeth, realizing he needed to calm down. He'd always found it a burden to keep his anger under control, would always end up smashing things in his room or starting fights with people that were easy to agitate, mostly on a Saturday night, those who were intoxicated, such easy targets. Brendan didn't answer. Instead he calmly closed the door and rested his weight against it, shoving his hands awkwardly into his pockets, avoiding all possible eye contact.

'Not got an answer for that? Look. What happened last week...'

Ste thought it'd be best to get straight to the point, but Brendan refused that opportunity, cut him off mid-sentence.

'It was a mistake Steven. I felt bad for you and I thought you needed comforting'

He said, his voice strangely monotonous. It made Ste wonder whether he had rehearsed what he was going to say when confronted. There wasn't any sincerity in his words, no truth behind them.

'You felt bad for me?! I don't need yours or anyone else's pity! Do you kiss every student you comfort?!'

He yelled, flailing his arms for emphasis.

'That's not what I meant'

Brendan replied as he slugged his head between his shoulders. He knew his wrong doings, knew that there was nothing he could do to put them right. He had known what the boy was feeling, what his intentions were and he did nothing to stop it, felt like he didn't have the vigour to because _he_ was feeling exactly the same. It wasn't just Ste who had found solace in him, _he_ had found solace in Ste as well, felt relieved almost to be in the company of a boy who took a certain type of interest in him. After his loss, his tragedy, Ste's kiss was something he couldn't decline.

'So what did you mean?! That kiss meant something to me! You turn up, acting all nice and concerned, offering me a shoulder to cry on, then you kiss me and think it's okay to leave me in the dark? You can _keep_ trying to convince yourself that you didn't feel anything but you didn't back away and you kissed me back!'

Brendan stayed silent, couldn't see a way out, a path to take that would make his actions justifiable.

'You know what, I trusted you. I don't need this'

Ste concluded, making his way to the front door but coming to an abrupt halt half way.

'Oh and by the way, I did some practice Kite Runner essays. Mark them _if_ and _when_ you can be bothered'

He said bitterly, tone enriched with ice and venom. He slapped the papers onto Brendan's coffee table, made his way to the door again, nudged the Irishman out of the way with a firm thrust of his hip and slammed the door behind him.

He was glad to be out of there, relieved to feel the cool breeze brushing against his feverish skin. The further away he got from that house, the more at peace he seemed to feel although he couldn't help wondering whether he had handled the situation appropriately. The event continued to play in his head, over and over again and he eventually came to the conclusion that he had dealt with it pretty well. Nothing was broken, Brendan was still in tact, which irritated the slightly sick, sadistic side of him.

'Ste!'

The familiar sound of Ashley's voice came from behind him. He turned, watched as the athletic individual jogged over to him dressed in a sleeveless vest and jogging bottoms, sweat glazing his brows. Obviously time for his daily run, Ste presumed.

'You okay?'

Ashley asked between his heaving breaths, concern washing over his face as he spotted the hidden emotions in his friend's eyes.

'Yeah. Yeah I'm fine'

Ste replied, transferring his gaze to the floor, picking at his nails, always a habit for when he was lying.

'No you're not. What's wrong?'

He asked gingerly, had experience of getting snapped at by Ste when he was angry. He wrapped a muscular arm around his shoulders, a tentative movement rather than a persuasive technique.

'Is it a guy?'

Ashley asked and Ste sucked in a sharp breath, questions travelling through his brain like speeding trains. He wasn't sure whether to lie about this, to shrug him off like he always did, but he decided against it for once, needed to spill some details if he was going to feel any better.

'Yeah... I guess'

Ste replied reluctantly, taking a seat on the nearest bench and hiding his face in his hands, palms rubbing firmly into his eye sockets.

'What's happened?'

Ashley inquired, occupying a seat next to him and taking a swig of his bottled water, pouring some over his head and face to cool himself down.

'It's just... I kissed him... well, we kissed each other. No one made the first move but now he's completely ignoring me, acting as if it never happened.'

His statement was more of a moan, a whine like a pathetic and infatuated teenage girl. He felt ridiculous just talking about this, stupid for letting it hurt as much as it did. The kiss that he and Brendan shared still felt like a novelty, something that was true and had actual, sentimental meaning. The mere thought of it set his insides on fire, heart leaping into his throat.

'You wear your heart on your shoulder mate. I know what guys are like, _obviously_ because I am one, but if I see a girl, willing to pour her heart out, is so vulnerable to anything and everything, then I'd take advantage of it if it means getting what I want. That's obviously what happened. He's taking you for a mug. He ain't worth it'

Ashley said, his wise words sinking deep into Ste's skin, making him realize that he'd been played. It made him irate, so angry that he wanted to go back to Brendan's house and smack him in the face with a chair.

'But if you like him and you wanna show him what he's missing, then you have to treat _him_ mean and keep him keen. About a year ago, I saw this girl, fucking gorgeous. Tried to get into her pants but she shrugged me off straight away. She knew I'd chase her and that's what I did. It drove me crazy and I was gagging for her'

Ste's eyes brightened, Ashley's words of wisdom sparking off a flame in his stomach, lit a light bulb above his head. It made perfect sense. Nothing had ever been more clear. He got to his feet, clapping his hands as he did so, a bright smile on his face.

'You're right. I'm gunna have him begging for me. Thanks Ash'

Ste gave him a slap on the face, brotherly, playful banter, Ashley's eyes widening in amused shock. He unscrewed his water bottle slowly, eyebrows raising suggestively.

'No... No Ash...'

Ste pushed him back against the wood of the bench and legged it down the street as fast as he could, Ashley's athleticism working to his advantage as he caught up to Ste with his large, quick strides.

* * *

When Ste walked into English class first thing the next morning, his heart sank when he laid eyes on Brendan, the arm of his glasses in his mouth, suited and booted like the classy teacher that he was. He had to compose himself, was determined not to feel these kill joy emotions. He was going to put Ashley's plan into action which initiated a small smirk in the corner of his lips, somewhat proud of the twisted things he was thinking.

He waited patiently for the hour to fly by, shooting up from his seat and heading for the door when the bell went because the nerves were all too much. He couldn't do this, thought better of it, thought that he should forget everything like Brendan had requested.

Until Brendan's voice cut through all of the chatter and small squeals about lunch.

'Steven! Can I have a word?'

His heart started to hammer in his ears, wasn't sure whether he could do this, confront his fear of addressing his emotions. He closed his eyes and exhaled a large breath, pivoted on one foot and slowly walked up to the front of the class.

'I've marked those papers of yours. Very good I must say, seeing as we have only been on Kite Runner for a couple of weeks.'

Brendan praised, removing his glasses and resuming the usual position of putting the arm in his mouth whilst straightening out and organizing the papers on his desk, coordinating them into different piles.

'Can I have them back then?'

The boy replied, rolling up the sleeves of his blazer and keeping a straight, emotionless face, didn't want to portray his current nervousness.

'I left them at my house. We need to talk I think. Pop over after school for a cuppa and I'll give them back to you'

'No you're alright. Give 'em to me tomorrow.'

Ste said, about to turn away and walk out of the door, dismiss this conversation because he could see where it was going, where he'd end up.

'Steven please. I'm trying to make an effort here. I want to make this up to you'

Ste _wanted_ to take him up on the offer, was torn between what his head was saying and what his heart yearned for. He considered, didn't want to give Brendan the satisfaction, let him know that'd he'd gotten to him and crushed that wall he had built with ease.

'Okay fine. I'll skip the tea. Just give me my marks and let that the end of this.'

With the final words said, he left the class with a smile on his face, knew how good it felt to take control. Ste knew that he had Brendan in the palm of his hand now, the sudden begging that commenced when he was about to completely walk away told him everything he needed to know.

* * *

'Steven. Come on in'

Ste was hesitant, wasn't entirely sure what to expect, didn't know whether to stay outside and just demand his essays back or whether to enter, because he knew that as soon as he walked through that door, then he'd be under Brendan's spell again, at his mercy. He stepped inside purely on the fact that he and Brendan had unfinished business, something that they couldn't simply dust underneath the carpet. Ste was taken aback when he heard a high pitched bark and the scraping of nails against the floor. Miya came bounding around the corner, started jumping up at his legs, her tail wagging eratcially which made him feel slightly calmer, probably because there was another presence in the house, wasn't just him and Brendan _alone_. He took her into his arms and sat on the sofa, rubbed gently behind her ears when suddenly a mug full of tea was shoved in his face.

'I said I didn't want any tea'

Ste complained, raising a hand to push it away.

'Just shut up and drink it'

Brendan replied and Ste reluctantly obliged, taking the hot mug out of his hands, pressing it to his lips and drinking small sips at a time, groaning at the sweet liquid.

'Milky with one and a half sugars, I seem to recall'

Said the Irishman, taking a seat next to Ste and rubbing the tip of his index finger underneath Miya's chin.

'Look Steven. About the weekend... I'm sorry for how I acted about the whole kiss thing. You were right. I wanted to, but I could lose my job over this. If you ever told anyone...'

Ste cut him off, was almost offended that Brendan would think he'd tell anyone. After everything he had been through, the secrets he had kept.

'Who the _hell_ am I going to tell? I kept my abuse under the belt for 18 years.'

'I know. It's just... I _have_ thought about it, and I see you as a friend, as well as my student and I don't want you to stop confiding in me when you need to. You're a good lad, and I want to be there for you when things get tough.'

'I saw you as a mate as well. A proper mate. I thought I could tell you anything. I told you I was gay for god sake...'

'And I told you the same remember'

There was no point in arguing again, neither could win yet neither could lose. Both had opened up too much, delved too deep into their personal lives. Ste sighed, picked Miya up off of his knee, placed her on the floor and and took his empty mug to the sink. Brendan did the same, leaning against the kitchen counter and tapping his foot to break the silence.

'I care about you Steven. You remind me of when I was your age. I went through a tough time as well'

'You don't know anything about what I have to deal with'

How could he? Brendan didn't have to arrive home to a piss head mother, an abusive father that would beat him at every opportunity, would search for reasons to hit him, twist and manipulate things to work in his favour.

'I do... Seeing your mum... flat out on the sofa. It Doesn't look like she's breathing but then she twitches, completely smashed off her face and then she blames _you_ for _her_ mess. Then you get beaten for no apparent reason. You try to do everything you can to get an ounce of approval, just want to hear them say _I'm proud of you_. But no matter what you do, or how hard you try... it's never good enough'

Ste peered up into Brendan's nostalgic face, felt like his feelings had been read from a script. This was the thing he couldn't pinpoint, the distinct connection that they shared, how Brendan could read him like a book but it was seemingly harder the other way round. But it appeared that Brendan had been through the same thing. They shared common ground, another thing that was drawing them closer together, an invisible force, much stronger than gravity, able to potentially defy it.

Ste pushed himself away from the counter and stood in front of the Irishman, shuffled in close, so close he could smell him, _feel_ him. He took Brendan's chin between his thumb and index finger, lifted until their eyes met, such an intense gaze like they were deciphering each other's souls. Ste moved in, nice and slow to give Brendan the opportunity to stop him, although he knew that wouldn't happen. Their lips met, wet and warm and welcoming, soft to touch, shaped to fit together. Then Brendan pulled away, eyes clamped shut, eyebrows knitted together and his breath shaking.

'No Steven. I can't'

He mumbled but he refused to open his eyes, physically felt like he couldn't.

'Take me to bed Brendan.'

Ste whispered, a low, wispy breath in his ear, smooth and seductive, the heat spreading against the side of his face. It caused a burst of electricity to shoot down Brendan's spine, travel across his synapses at lightening speed.

'What?'

Brendan asked, had to make sure he had heard the boy correctly, that this wasn't a fragment of his imagination.

'Sleep with me. I want you _so_ badly. I know you want me too'

* * *

Brendan kicked open his bedroom door, so hard that it nearly flew off its hinges but he didn't give a shit about that. He had Ste in his arms, palms underneath his thighs to hold him securely and he pinned the boy against the wall, a deep grumble erupting from the pit of his stomach at the force. He caught Ste's lips, licked insistently inside of his mouth and groaned when their tongues rubbed and danced, Ste's guttural moans shooting through Brendan's nerves and sending blood straight down to his groin. He took the boy to the bed and straddled his thighs, amused by Ste's bewilderment and awe.

'Wow... Can I...?'

He nodded his head at Brendan's shirt and tugged at the seam, raised his eyebrows suggestively and poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, having to pull at the crotch of his trousers because his erection was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. The older man nodded, knelt tall and mighty above the Mancunian, deliberately rubbed his hips against Ste's pelvis to create a delicious, temporary friction.

Ste started to undo Brendan's shirt, one button at a time, his head pressed against the rim of Brendan's trousers, belt buckle digging into his forehead. He slipped his hand underneath the expensive material and rubbed his palm up the Irishman's torso, hand cupping pectoral's and denting over toned abs. Brendan's skin was pale and warm, so beautiful to look at, like he was the definition of purity.

He put a hand on the back of the boy's head, tangled his fingers into Ste's hair and allowed his head to loll back as the boy started to kiss the bottom of his stomach, hands still roaming and exploring his body, nails occasionally digging and dragging against his skin, teeth seizing parts of his flesh. The Mancunian proceeded to undo Brendan's belt, pulled his trousers down_ and_ over his erection. A breath got stuck in his throat, seemingly overwhelmed because this was the first time Ste had ever been with a man, ever experienced the sexual contact.

The Irishman touched his fingers to Ste's shoulders and pushed him down into the mattress, could obviously sense the boy's nerves. His other hand slid underneath Ste's shirt, pressed against warm, golden skin, rubbed over ribs and jutting hip bones. Ste arched his back and pulled his t-shirt over his head, launching it across the room carelessly and pulling Brendan on top of him. He scrambled with the older man's clothing, tugged it off and discarded that as well, pushed their juxtaposing bodies together and met their mouths once again, kissed with dire need and passion, groins rubbing erratically. They were dry humping on the bed, Ste clawing down Brendan's exposed back because he had never felt pleasure like this, had never experienced the tingling sensation in his dick where pre-cum had leaked, a sharp prickle in his sensitive gland and a deep swelling of his balls.

Brendan trailed his lips down Ste's neck, licked and chewed at the flickering pulse and bulging vein, causing the boy to ripple and writhe underneath him, small squeals rolling off his tongue.

'Relax. Trust me'

He crooned, blew against Ste's burning skin, the taste of his flesh absolutely delectable, tickling Brendan's taste buds as he licked Ste's collarbone and chest.

'I trust you'

He gasped, threading his fingers through Brendan's thick, black hair, yanking on clumps of it when his nipples got pinched between sharp teeth. Ste shimmied out of his trousers and boxers, the burning need for sexual contact overriding all of his insecurities and lack of experience.

'Keen aren't we?'

Brendan giggled, continued to kiss Ste's honey stomach, taking his time to appreciate the boy's beautiful body.

'What can I say? I'm enthusiastic. Always wanting to learn something new'

Ste justified, his breathing infrequent from the warm, wet suction of Brendan's soft and delicate kisses.

'I can see that. You ready to learn something right now?'

'What am I gunna learn Sir?'

Ste asked, degrading himself back into Brendan's student.

'You're going to learn how good it feels to have my mouth around your dick. And you're also going to learn how good it feels to have my cock buried _deep_ inside of you'

The mere thought made Ste's dick ache, more pre-cum dribbling and collecting in the slit, initiating a primal grunt, an intense pleasure that nearly drove him over the edge.

'Do it... _Please'_

He begged, tugged on Brendan's hair to try aid direction.

'Tell me what you want'

He whispered, lightly blowing against Ste's body, helping the sweat to evaporate off of his feverish skin.

'I want you to put your mouth around me and suck me off, give me the best blowy I've ever had, have me screaming your name'

Brendan's breath got stuck in his throat, nearly started choking at the lack of Oxygen in his lungs. The boy's filthy requests sent more blood pulsing through his dick, balls aching, heart racing.

'Gladly'

He took Ste's dick into his palm, milked it with slow, hard strokes, watched as more pre-cum oozed out onto his thumb. He bought his mouth close to Ste's cock and rubbed his lips against the sensitive tip, smothered the pre-cum across the plump, pink flesh and all along his tongue. It was sweet, fucking delicious as it slipped down his throat.

'Please... Brendan please...'

Ste sobbed, on the brink of crying because of his sexual frustration, needed to cum and he was so close already, could feel the deep pelvic tingle, electricity bouncing against the endothelium of his veins. Brendan gave in to Ste's begging, his choked cries, taking the plush head of the boy's cock into his mouth and sucking, lapping at it with his tongue, causing Ste's body to twitch in time with his animalistic groans, deep and elongated.

Brendan rubbed his tongue down the girth, licked and sucked his perineum, lapped at his balls and then took him _whole_ in his mouth again, every inch, deep throated so his nose was muzzled in the pale hairs at the bottom. Ste screamed, cried out in ecstasy, his legs trembling, grip tightening in Brendan's hair and the older man knew he was close. He took hold of the boy's balls and squeezed hard, refused to allow him to cum just yet. Ste wriggled and twitched, neck glazed with sweat and veins bulging all over his body underneath his taught skin. His orgasm rippled through him in waves, nerves setting on fire but he was refused the full high.

'Let go! Please... I need to...'

He choked, tried to scramble with Brendan's hand, make him release his grip and allow him to cum because he was so desperate to. He was on the edge of the serrated knife edge, actually about to drift into the abyss of madness, turn delirious with the over ride of hormones and endorphins in his blood stream.

'You haven't been fucked by me yet'

Brendan purred in his ear, took hold of his earlobe and chewed on it, slowly releasing his grip as Ste's movements came to a halt.

'Will it hurt?'

Ste gulped, his body tensing up slightly, muscles freezing in place. Brendan didn't see the point in lying, wanted to be honest instead of going into denial again.

'It might a little bit at the start. But I'll go nice and slow, make you feel so good. If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say.'

Brendan reassured, stroking a hand down Ste's side and lifting his thigh, hooking it around his waist to give him better access to the boy's hole.

'Gunna finger you first, make you nice and lose for me'

He said, lightly ghosting his fingertips down Ste's stomach until he was between the boy's legs, middle finger circulating the tight ring of muscle. Brendan slipped in the tip of his finger, initiating a hiss from the Mancunian. Ste's hole tightened, wet heat sucking Brendan's finger in further. He bent the instrument perfectly, approximated the angle, curled back on himself and found that beautiful little spot inside Ste that made his skin set alight.

'Holy fuck!'

He screamed, pulling on a chunk of Brendan's hair, his whole body jolting like he was having a fit. The Irishman watched as he continuously rubbed that sensitive nerve ending, noted the changes in Ste's face, how his brows knitted together, jaw dropped and eyes fell shut.

'God don't stop. Feels so fucking good.'

The boy started to circulate his hips, fucked himself on Brendan's finger and gasped in pleasure, sweat dripping down the side of his face which the older man caught with his tongue. He pulled out his finger, was growing increasingly impatient and he was desperate to be inside of the boy, could only speculate about the heat of him.

Brendan fisted his own dick with his left hand, the right reaching over to the bedside table, pulling out a condom, his lips over Ste's nipples, tongue flicking and teeth biting. He rolled on the condom, smothered himself and Ste's hole with lube, inserted a couple of fingers to keep him stretched and loose.

'You ready?'

Brendan asked, lining himself up and pressing the tip of his dick to Ste's entrance.

'Slow yeah?'

Ste asked wearily, a frown etched across his forehead.

'I promise'

The Irishman assured, kissing the top of the boy's head to straighten out the creases. He pushed his dick into Ste's hole, slowly as requested, the heat completely engulfing him and making his head spin, knocking every breath out of his lungs. His vision was obscured by a white, sexual fog, ears ringing with Ste's groans, all of his senses tingling.

'Relax Steven'

Brendan whispered and Ste did so, letting out a breath whilst doing so, loosening the muscles of his rim so Brendan could penetrate easier, and so he wouldn't be in too much pain in the morning.

'Good boy'

He crooned, running his fingers through Ste's hair. It was so intimate, their bodies so close that they were _afraid_ to be parted, almost felt the need to try and defy gravity, like the severity and amount of wrong in what they were doing could potentially rip them to shreds. They were breathing in each other's air, Brendan still gyrating his hips, drinking down Ste's groans, messily kissing and tonguing him. It was difficult to tell where Ste started and where Brendan ended, there bodies morphing into one.

'Faster'

Ste demanded, taking hold of Brendan's arse cheeks and trying to force him as deep as he could. The Irishman obliged, picking up his pace, the intensity soon becoming overwhelming to the point where he was sobbing, his head falling against Ste's shoulder, his breathing erratic and pulse racing. Ste's orgasm hit him like a hammer between the eyes, his pelvic muscles viciously contracting, all of his nerves tingling. He delved between his and Brendan's sweaty bodies, took hold of his dick and pumped himself, threw his head back into the pillow and closed his eyes, physically unable to keep them open.

'Fuck... Brendan... I'm gunna cum!'

Brendan let go, had _no_ idea how long he had been repressing his orgasm but it was torturous. He fucked the boy through their orgasms, dug his nails into the Mancunian's skin and groaned loudly into his hot neck, Ste screaming as he pulled on Brendan's hair and spunked up himself, his whole body twitching as he came down from the high, hit by the aftershocks, his dick turning flaccid but he was still having the occasional ripple of pleasure surging across his synapses.

'God...'

Brendan said, pulling out of the boy and rolling off him, spreading himself out on the bed like Jesus on the crucifix. Ste slung his arm lazily over the older man, weaved his fingers between the hairs on his chest and listened contently to the solid beating of his heart.


	6. Falling In The Arms of Someone Who Cares

Chapter 6

Brendan lowered himself on top of Ste and nibbled on his ear lobe, then lightly kissed his cheek and rested his head on Ste's trembling shoulder.

'Bren, that was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced'

Brendan chuckled darkly and rolled over onto his back, taking Ste with him, and he muzzled his face into Ste's fluffy hair, mumbling against it.

'That's the best sex I've had in a while'

Ste giggled as he played with Brendan's chest hair, circulating around his nipple and flattening his hand above his heart.

'Not bad for a first time then eh?'

Brendan froze for a split second, and then remembered what Ste had said before.

_I don't really know who I am_

'I can't believe this'

Ste looked up at a conflicted Brendan

'What?'

'I took your Virginity. The only thing that makes you pure. God, you're so young'

Brendan sat up and ran his fingers through his hair and rested his head in his palms. Ste sat up with him and wrapped his arms around Brendan's torso, kissing his bare shoulders.

'I wanted this. I wanted you, and I finally got it. Can't making me feel that good be enough for you?'

'This is so wrong. So very very wrong'

'Convince me you don't want it.'

Brendan was evidently troubled. He felt something for Ste. A strong, powerful, gravitational force pulling them together. Brendan turned slightly and stared into the inviting, seductive eyes of Ste. Their lips were drawn together once again and Brendan fell back into the tight embrace of Ste's arms as they went for round two.

Xxx

The next day, Ste practically skipped all the way to school, a beaming smile on his face and he was in the most amazing mood. He had English third period. Needless to say, he was excited for that.

Xxx

When he entered class, he saw Brendan sitting at his desk, the arm of his glasses in his mouth, and when he peered towards the door and saw Ste walk in, his face lit up and he flickered his eyelids in embarrassment at how Ste admired his terrific beauty. All through class, Ste could tell that Brendan was teasing him, stretching every so often, revealing the toned muscles in his back and his shirt 'accidently' riding up so he could see the dark hairs leading to his groin.

'Ste. Oi Ste!'

Callum nudged him in the ribs.

'What?'

'You do realize you're making it really obvious. You're clearly staring at his arse'

'So?'

'Isn't that... a bit weird? He's a teacher'

'Ashely is our best mate but he has a rockin' body'

'You think Ashley is fit?'

'No. Well, he has a nice body but I wouldn't... go there. He's a brother'

'Something you want to share with the class boys?'

Ste and Callum jumped in their seats and Ste played with his nails while staring at Brendan's groin, his mouth watering at how badly he wanted him right now.

'N... No Sir. Me and Ste were just talking about... the...'

Ste tried to help him out, but he was a terrible liar.

'Jesus. We were talking about Jesus.

Mr Brady raised his eyebrows, half a smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

'Jesus? In an English class? So what's this I heard about a 'rockin body?'

Ste and Callum looked at each other, lumps growing in their throats.

'Well, Jesus had a bit of a rockin body. If you look at the pictures. Six pack and everything'

'Right so what's this about a 'brother'?'

'Umm... Well I said I wouldn't go there, if you know what I mean because... he sees all of us guys, like brothers. Plus Jesus is a little bit... dead now so'

Mr Brady let out a laugh, shook his head and went back to his desk.

Xxx

At the end of class, Ste waited to talk to Brendan alone, and he leaned against the desk, one foot in front of the other.

'What do you want boy?'

Brendan swivelled on his chair, leaned back and folded his hands on his stomach.

'I want you'

'Is that so?'

Ste leaned over, placing his hands on the arms of Brendan's chair, getting in close and looking at him with seductive, desperate eyes.

'Yes Sir. That is so.'

A smirk spread across both of their faces and Ste leaned in, catching Brendan's lips and biting on his bottom lip and Brendan's hands stroked the back of Ste's thighs and they grumbled into each other's mouths, relieving their withdrawal symptoms.

'Woah Steven. Not here.'

'Sorry. Do you not know how gorgeous you are?'

'Well it's been mentioned a few times. I don't like to brag but...'

Ste giggled and lightly kissed Brendan again, stroking his forehead against his cheek.

'I'm gunna have you over this desk one day'

'I look forward to it'

Xxx

For the next week, Ste and Brendan couldn't keep their hands off of each other, kissing and touching and groping and biting one another at every opportunity, whether that be in an empty classroom, at Brendan's house, behind secluded buildings and their sex was incredible. They really knew each other's bodies now, what they liked and what they didn't like. Brendan was the sort who always wanted the power and Ste liked to be walked all over, shown who's boss. Brendan was the giver and Ste was the receiver, they loved to nip, scratch, squeeze, lick and suck every inch of each other's skin, in the haze of pure lust and sexual frustration.

Xxx

Ste arrived home late, after spending a couple of hours preparing for his Food Tech exam.

'Where have you been druggie?!'

Terry screamed at him, his mother stood behind him, slugging back some beer.

'I've been preparing for my exams, because I want to get somewhere in life'

Terry threw his beer in Ste's face, soaking him with it.

'Don't talk to me like that boy! Who the hell do you think you are?'

'I have to wear this tomorrow.'

Terry got in close and grabbed Ste around the neck, hauling him across the room, until he hit the wall, knocking the wind out of him.

'Get off me Terry!'

'Not until you apologise to me and your mother'

Terry gritted his teeth, his breath hot and the scent, strong of alcohol on Ste's face, making him squirm.

'Get off me'

'Apologize!'

Ste spat in Terry's face.

'Let go of me'

He repeated and Terry was overcome with rage, punching Ste in the face, a second, a third, a fourth time, Ste's eyebrow splitting under the brutal force and his eye socket swelling due to the repetitive hits. It seemed like the violence went on for hours, but in reality it lasted about ten seconds, every punch hard, snappy and quick. Both Terry and his mum spat on him after the brutal beating, and his nose streamed with blood. He clambered to his feet and ran out the door and he could hear Terry shouting after him.

'Don't come back you little shit. Not until you learn to give me a bit of respect'

Xxx

Brendan opened the door, a smile on his face, knowing that Ste was at the door, but when his eyes flicked to Ste's bloody, tear filled face, his smile fell, into an expression of horror.

'What happened?'

Ste spluttered his response, unable to talk and overcome with emotion. He sniffed and took a deep breath, patting the blood dripping down his face.

'T... Terry'

'In. Now'

Brendan pulled him in and yanked him into a hug, allowing Ste to cry uncontrollably in his arms.

'Shhhh. Shhh. It's okay. He can't hurt you now. I've got you. I've got you. Come on. It's okay'

He stroked Ste's hair, lightly kissing his forehead.

'Let's take a look at you.'

Ste pulled away, his eyes bloodshot and heavy, partly due to the bright purple swelling, and partly due to the fact that Ste was tired of his life. Tired of being seen as a failure and tired of trying to put the effort in when he was never going to get the praise he craved.

Brendan took a wet cloth and dabbed Ste's eyebrow and nose delicately.

'Ow!'

'I'm sorry. Hold still Steven okay?'

He wiped the remaining blood away.

'It doesn't need stitches. It should be okay to heal on it's own.'

Ste sniffed and exhaled deeply, thankful that he was now in the hands of someone who took care of him.

'What happened?'

'I got home late, getting ready for Food Tech exam. Terry accused me of taking drugs again. Then threw beer in my face and punched me then he...'

Ste hesitated, clamping his eyes shut, the memory haunting him.

'What? Then what?'

'Him... and my mum spat on me'

Ste broke down again and fell back into Brendan's arms, and he wrapped himself around his torso. He looked up and pressed his lips to Brendan's, destroying the tears, kissing away the saltiness and he pulled the material of his shirt out of his trousers, touching the bare skin underneath, trying to strip him bare of his shirt and Brendan grabbed his wrists lightly.

'Steven no. You're in no fit state right now.'

He looked desperate. He was desperate, exchanging a pleading look with damp, tired, exhausted eyes. He whispered, while resting his head against Brendan's shoulder, curling his fingers into the rim of Brendan's trousers.

'Please Brendan. Please. I need you right now.


	7. Escaping From The Bad

Chapter 7

'Steven No. Not while you're like this'

'Kiss me. Please Bren. Kiss me'

Ste begged, his eyes glistening with tears and lip jutting out in a put, quivering and shaking. The Irishman gave in to temptation, couldn't possibly refuse him anything, especially while he was like this, vulnerable, in need of someone to listen. He delicately kissed Ste's lips, circulated his waist and pulled him closer, chest on chest. The kiss was longing and deep, tasted salty from Ste's tears yet Brendan kissed them away, licked and destroyed every drop of sadness. He curled his fingers underneath the seam of his shirt and pulled it over the boy's head, his eyes locking on the discoloured bruising on his abs. It cut at the of him, made him angry, psychotic almost, made him want to beat the shit out of the man who did this to him. Ste cupped Brendan's jaw and lifted tentatively, stroked his thumb down the Irishman's stubbled cheek.

'Don't look there. Look right here'

He indicated to his eyes and Brendan did so, stared deep into Ste's ocean blue iris', wanted to float on that sea surface. He smirked at the boy's desperation and pulled him back into a hungry kiss. He lifted Ste onto his lap so he was straddling him, rubbed his hips so their erections were grinding together, creating a delicious friction that had Ste whimpering into Brendan's mouth and chewing on his lip. The Irishman stripped Ste of his trousers and boxers, had him on top, completely naked. It was a sight to behold, so incredibly beautiful that Brendan's breath got caught in his chest.

He ran his hands down Ste's silky smooth back, curved his palms over the contours until he was cupping the boy's peachy arse. He squeezed on the globes, didn't break his lips away from Ste's for a second, was hooked, addicted to him. His middle finger slid down his crack and began to massage the Mancunian's tight rim.

'Go on Bren. Finger me. Nice and deep'

Brendan exhaled deeply, dropped his head back against the sofa at Ste's filthy request, couldn't help but feel turned on by it, how explicit and graphic he was. The Irishman did as he was told and slipped his finger into Ste's body, made him squeal with pure pleasure. he curled the instrument perfectly, rubbed the tip against that spot that made Ste's body tremble, made him scream, made his toes curl.

'Deeper. Harder. Oh my god'

Again, Brendan did as he was told, inserted his finger right down to the knuckle, Ste's inner muscles rippling around him. He lunged forward and pulled out a condom from the back pocket of his trousers, was frantic to be fucked, didn't need or want this to be romantic or smutty.

'Come on Bren. Fuck me.'

He tugged on Brendan's belt whilst bouncing up and down on the Irishman's fingers, unzipped the older man and began fisting his rock hard cock, closed his hand around the head and tossed him off quickly, had Brendan grunting, deep and primal, bucking his hips up into the movement. The boy swiped away the leaking pre-cum, suck and slurped on it, wanted to taste.

Brendan fucked into the boy relentlessly, frantically. This was pure, unadulterated sex, a quick and needy fuck that they were both desperate for. Ste dug his nails into the older man's flesh, wanted to make his mark, brand him, have him in pain in the morning only for it to be a reminder of what they've done tonight. He rode the Irishman hard, kissed him roughly simultaneously, bit on his lip hard until it swelled red because the pleasure was too much to handle, too good and he was screaming, was rocking the place down with his choked out cries. Brendan sucked on Ste's neck, so hard that he could form a clot in the boy's veins.

Their orgasms built up quickly, knocked them because it was unexpected and every movement fell out of sync, their kissing, the thrusting. It was a mess, a pure _want_ to cum causing every rational thought to fly out of the window and they both spunked harshly, let out strangled groans as they breathed the same oxygen, battled for it as they touched each other absentmindedly, rubbing their foreheads and threading fingers through hair, pulling and tugging, kissing, so beautifully clueless.

* * *

They both relaxed and twitched during the come down, the fall after the massive high, were left panting, tangled in each other arms, hot and wet and sticky yet unbelievably close. Ste climbed off the sofa and searched the room for his clothes, his dick now hanging flaccid, his body still glistening with a thin layer of sweat.

'You going?'

Brendan asked as the boy climbed back into his boxers, throwing on his shirt and slinging his tie back around his neck.

'I can't stay here can I? People would think it's a bit weird if we walked into school together'

Brendan debated the scenario in his head, saw where he was coming from but surely they could work around that?

'You could stay and I could leave first then you leave second-'

'No Brendan. That can't happen.'

They fell into silence. Brendan didn't want to have Ste go back to that hell of a life, living on guard constantly not knowing when he'll get another smack. He'd have to be the one to pick up the pieces, and eventually, the chord will break, will violently snap and he'll end up marching over there and punching the shit out of the man who keeps doing this.

'Where will you go?'

He asked, pulling his boxers and trousers on too, mirroring the boy's actions.

'I'll stay at Callum's for a few nights. He is used to me walking in and out'

Ste slung his back over his shoulder, watched on as Brendan covered up his delectable body. The Irishman sat back down on the sofa, rested his feet on the coffee table and gazed up at the boy, didn't want him to leave but they didn't have another choice. Having him stay could put them both at risk, especially if they were seen together.

'How are you going to explain your eye?'

'I'll just say I walked into the cupboard. He knows how clumsy I am. Don't worry about it. Well...um... I'll see you tomorrow I guess. Thank you for clearing me up and everything'

He bent over them arm of the sofa and caught Brendan's lips in a kiss, soft and moist and slightly salty from where they'd licked each other's cum. If Ste could stay, then there's no doubt that he and Brendan would go for round two. But he must take his leave. He pulled away with a genuine smile, something that made Brendan's stomach flip. The boy was about to depart, had his hand on the handle when Brendan said;

'Wait. Steven wait.'

He got up off the sofa and scribbled something down on a piece of paper, took himself over to Ste and slipped it into his blazer pocket, gave it a small tap.

'My number. When ever you need me, drop me a call okay? I'll be here'

He looked at the piece of paper that now lay inside of his pocket, wanted to make sure that it was actually there and that this wasn't an illusion. He smiled up at the older man, full of awe and adoration, wanted to take him to the bedroom and show him how appreciative he was of this.

'Thank you, for being here for me. It means everything.'

Ste said, his eyes wide and gleaming, his smile bright and genuine. Brendan returned the smirk and tapped Ste's blazer again, a way of telling him not to forget it was there, that he always had that option if he needed it.

'Go on. Scram'

* * *

Ste made his way to Callum's house, couldn't stop looking at Brendan's number that was scribbled neatly in his writing. He'd done everything to try and make sure it was a real number, searched for ridiculous patterns, counted the digits and found the correct 11. It made him feel less isolated. Loneliness isn't measured by the number of people in your life, it's measured by the quality of those people.

When Ste reached his friends house he knocked and waited patiently, ran over the scenario in his head, the excuse he was going to give about the damage to his eyes. He needed to be bang on point with this because Callum wasn't stupid, could easily see when someone was lying to him but Ste had experience with not telling the truth, had needed to cover up certain tracks before.

'What the hell are you doing here?'

Callum gawped as he opened the door, standing only wearing his pajama's. Ste had lost track of time, peered behind his friend and saw that it was nearly 10:00pm.

'Had a falling out with my parents. Can I crash here for a couple of nights?'

'Sure Ste, but what happened to your face?'

'I walked into the cupboard door when I tried to storm out. What an exit eh?'

Callum forced a laugh, his attention diverted by the blue and black swelling around Ste's eye, how blood shot it was. He was star struck by the damage that a cupboard could supposedly do. This wasn't the first time that Ste had treated Callum's house like a hostel, had fallen out with his family on a number of occasions and stayed with him for nights on end. This was something of the norm.

'What is...'

Suddenly Callum's heed was diverted to something other than Ste's battered face, his gaze slipping slightly lower down.

'Is that a...?'

'Is what a what?'

Ste tried to look himself, tipped his head down to see if it was something embarrassing like a cum stain on his shirt

'It is! You've got a love bite on your neck!'

Ste froze, his eyes involuntarily widening. He remembered. Remembered when Brendan had sucked on his neck just before his orgasm. This is the one thing he didn't want to happen because now he'd have to lie, have to lie to his best friend's face. He thought he'd covered his tracks but he was stupid not to search for and cover Brendan's branding.

'Has someone got a boyfriend?'

Callum asked, breaking into a Cheshire cat grin.

'What?! No!'

Ste protested, pulling a face that suggested the idea was ludicrous.

'Who's the new man eh? Do I know him? Can I meet him?'

'Jesus Callum! No! It was a bit of fun'

'You are such a bad liar!'

Callum protested, Ste's over reaction telling him everything he needed to know.

'Okay, I have seen him a couple of times'

Callum's face was somewhat triumphant, knew that he could break his friend with a few simple questions and looks of persuasion.

'Have you... You know?'

He raised his eyebrows suggestively and bit on his bottom lip, was obviously trying to make this as humiliating as possible because that's what best friends are supposed to do. Although it was all the more awkward for Ste due to the circumstances. He had to shrug this off, needed to keep this under the belt.

'Yes I have slept with him. Can I come in now?'

He sighed, acted disinterested in the topic and tried to connote it as something that wasn't that big of a deal which thankfully got Callum off of his case because he smiled again, wide and gleaming and he bought Ste into a brotherly and patted him on the back, almost saying _job well done_ because apparently, having sex was something to be proud of, although to Ste, it was something special, something that made him feel appreciated, wanted, cared for, a deep yearn that he couldn't comprehend.


	8. Haunted By The Past

Chapter 8

Ste and Callum walked into school together the next day.

'Hey guys!'

Pete sprinted up to them, grabbing Ste around the neck.

'Woah Pete. Chill out yeah? Watch the eye'

Pete turned and stopped in his tracks.

'What the hell happened?'

'Walked into a cupboard after an argument with my parents. Crashing at Callum's for a few days'

'Yeah. He's taken my bed, the little bastard! But on a more important note, Pete look!'

Callum yanked on Ste's collar, revealing the purple mark on his neck.

'He's got a love bite! Someone has a bum buddy!'

Pete's eyes widened in shock

'No way! Who is he Ste? Can we meet him? Is he older? Younger?'

'Jesus Pete! You're as bad as Callum! I don't know how old he is, but he isn't that old. He is gorgeous. No you can't meet him and yes I have slept with him. Can I go now?'

Xxx

Over the next week, Ashley, Callum and Pete all pestered Ste about who he was seeing,asking all sorts of questions like; _Who is he? _And _ Who's was on top eh?_ And _Does he have a big cock?_ What could Ste say?

_Oh yeah, I'm seeing Mr Brady. You know, the guy who teaches us English. _

No. He knew he needed to keep this under the belt and there was something growing, deep down in the pit of his stomach. The force between himself and Brendan was growing stronger. Ste knew this feeling. He thought he had felt it once before, but now he knew for sure. Ste was falling, completely, uncontrollably and unconditionally in love with him.

xxx

Ste was back at home by the end of the week. Terry had manipulated him into coming home, blackmailed him almost.

'If you don't come home tonight, I'll tell Uncle John that you're a little queer. I'm sure he'll have a lot to say about that'

Ste's Uncle John was a sick man. He and Terry would beat Ste to within an inch of his life. Uncle John threw Ste off of the garage roof when he was 9 years old. He hid up there to get away from Terry and John's drinking and gambling, but Uncle John found him and he climbed the shed roof and dangled Ste by his shirt, then threw him off, breaking his leg and a vertebra in his lower back. Ste was petrified of him, despite the fact he was 18, he could still feel the fear build in the pit of his chest, to the point where he wanted to cower in the corner and cry himself to sleep.

Xxx

It was another day and another English revision class, which was Ste's favourite part of the day. Ste was the only one out of the whole class who stayed behind, and he took advantage of this fact. Outstretching his palms to touch Brendan's legs whenever he walked past, ran his fingers through his hair, stretching his body, his shirt riding up slightly. Brendan sat on the desk, getting really into his session.

'So, when Hosseini uses personification in the quote 'The past always claws itself out' what does he mean by that? What's he trying to show?'

'You're so sexy when you teach'

Ste purred and leaned back in his chair.

'Am I now?'

Brendan threw a leg over Ste's head and rested it on his chair, so that his legs were either side of Ste.

'You're so distracting, do you know that?'

Ste asked, and he slowly rubbed his hands up Brendan's legs and leaned forward, requesting a kiss. Brendan leaned in close, so their lips were centimetres apart, his minty breath was light and shallow on Ste's face. He moved in but Brendan pulled away, placing a finger over Ste's lips.

'Cheeky. Come on. We've got to do this work'

Brendan went back to his desk and sat in his chair, crossing his legs and Ste followed, whining slightly.

'Can't we finish it tomorrow? Or the weekend? It's been at least a week since we slept together.'

'Your point being?'

Ste bent over and purred into Brendan's ear.

'Please. I'm gagging for you here'

Brendan moved in for the kiss, placing a hand at the nape of Ste's neck, tangling his fingers in Ste's hair, their lips connecting and moving in perfect sync. All that could be heard was the light intake of air coming from the projector, and the sound of them kissing with such passion and want. All of a sudden there was a knock at the door and the click of the handle, and on pure instinct, Brendan shoved Ste to the floor, hiding him from view underneath the desk.

'Alright Sir. I was just wondering if you've seen Ste? He said he was staying behind tonight for an hour and I've just finished football so...'

'He left about five minutes a go Ashley. If you run, I think you could catch up to him.'

'Oh. He said he'd wait for me. I'll deck him when I see him. Cheers Sir'

Brendan sighed in relief, throwing his hands back into his hair and he peered down at Ste.

'You alright down there?'

Ste was sat cross legged, staring at Brendan's crotch, his chin resting in his palms.

'Oh yeah I'm fine. I've got a lush view'

Brendan placed his index finger underneath Ste's chin and stroked a thumb along his bottom lip.

'Maybe I'll show you the view in a little more detail?'

'I'd like that very much Sir.'

xxx

It was the middle of the night and Brendan was in bed. Absolutely gagging for it. He couldn't get Ste out of his head, his sub conscious drifting off, picturing Ste's delectable body. The soft tanned skin, the hip bones that jutted out slightly, the toned muscles, the fluffy hair, his smooth wet lips. Brendan was aroused just thinking about it, filthy images imprinted on his mind, of Ste wearing nothing but his school tie. He picked up his phone and called the number, it rang a couple of times and then an answer.

'Hello?'

His voice was disturbed and sleepy.

'Hey Steven. Are you asleep?'

There was a slight pause, and Ste's voice strengthened slightly, more tone in it and attitude.

'No I'm skydiving'

Brendan giggled at his sense of humour.

'I'm sorry for waking you up. Can you come over?'

'What now?'

'Yeah.'

Ste was appauled.

'Brendan it's half twelve. Course I can't. Plus me mam and Terry are still boozing it up in the living room'

'Damn. I am so desperate right now. I'm horny as fuck'

'You should have taken me up on the offer earlier'

Brendan practically kicked himself. How had he managed to resist when Ste was throwing himself at him. Kissing him in all the sensitive turn on areas.

'What are you wearing Steven?'

Ste was taken aback.

'Urmm... Just some shorts and a t-shirt. Why?'

'Put your hand up your shirt. Scratch down your stomach lightly. Tease your own nipples'

Brendan was highly aroused, and he couldn't help but touch himself through his trousers then slide a hand into the lose material of his boxers and take hold of himself, smothering in the pre cum and rubbing the head of his cock.

'Why?'

'Just do it'

'Okay. Alright.'

He could hear small shuffling sounds and a petite giggle.

'What does it feel like?'

'It feels lush.'

'Take off your shorts'

Again he could hear the shuffling noises and the minute thud of Ste's shorts when he tossed them off the bed.

'Touch yourself boy. Think as if it's me. When I see you next I am gunna absolutely destroy you. Tell me what you want'

Ste gasped over the receiving end at how Brendan was making such filthy promises.

'I want...'

Energy was being exerted, as Ste's breaths were becoming short and sharp and laboured, the odd moan escaping here and there.

'You jerking off?'

'God yeah. Bren... I want you to...'

Brendan clamped his eyes shut, concentrating on Ste's breathing, picturing the boy masturbating in his room, alone, naked, his warm body getting even hotter when the orgasm begins to build, his heart rate soaring through the roof.

'Tell me. I'll do anything.'

'I want you to lick my chest, bite my neck and my legs.'

'Nibble your thighs like I always do?'

A desperate whine came from deep in Ste's throat and he moaned his response in desperation.

'Yeah. I wanna run my fingers through your hair and I want you to kiss me and bite my ears and finger me real deep and hit my prostate. Make me scream.'

'Oh dear god boy. What do I get in return?'

Brendan bit his lip at hearing Ste say such things, but he wanted those things to happen so badly. He was furiously jerking himself off now, his legs spread apart, his back arched slightly and he was sweating, his neck moist from the intense heat and boiling blood gushing through his veins.

'I'm gunna scratch down your back the way you like it, and squeeze your arse really hard when you fuck me and I'm gunna grab and pull at your hair when you make me orgasm'

The wave of hallucination suddenly hit Brendan, his head spinning as the muscles within him wildly contracted, and he thrust his hips in the air spilling over his hand, screaming down the phone, the veins in his neck, pulsing.

'Brendan... Oh my god Brendan!'

He could hear that Ste was chocked, holding his breath and silently screaming and Brendan waited for the large exhale of breath.

'Wow.'

Brendan mirrored him.

'Wow'

'I've never had phone sex before Bren'

Brendan was still in aftershock, his body twitching slightly and his legs were trembling, the heat still overbearing.

'Me either. First time for everything.'

He heard Ste take a large breath, a yawn by the sounds of it.

'Go back to sleep Steven. Sounds like you need it. I'm sorry I woke you up. You make the most gorgeous noises when you cum'

He heard Ste huff a laugh.

'Yeah. I don't tend to come quietly if you know what I mean. I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Night.'

'Night Bren.'

Xxx

Ste was awoken by the bed sheet being ripped off of him, the sudden wave of cold hitting him like a hammer between the eyes. The morning light blinded him and he tried to focus his eyes, but they physically ached.

'Get up!'

The familiar voice made him freeze. He wanted to move, run away a million times, but his muscles were tensed, in the state of paralysis. He was suddenly jumped on, a pair of hands around his neck and the face he looked up at made his heart leap into his throat.

'Hey kid! Uncle John is back!'


	9. Going away

Chapter 9

Ste was gasping for air, blood rushing to his head and getting clogged in his arteries, the pressure building up, Uncle John's grip remaining tight and constant, the crazed and delusional look in his eye never changing. He was choking, his legs flailing everywhere until suddenly;

'John! Let go of him'

Terry was stood at the door.

Just standing there, watching.

'What?'

'Let him go'

Ste lay motionless, his eyes flicking to Terry then back to John. The grip around his neck loosened and Ste gasped for breath, felt the Oxygen rush to his brain, making him light headed and nauseous. John hopped off the bed, looked back at Ste and sniggered.

Xxx

Uncle John hadn't changed. Ste could still smell the Cannabis on him, the strong stench of alcohol and the overpowering smell of aftershave. He was still twice the size of Ste, still a big build with bulging muscles and a beer belly, tattoo's everywhere and rotting teeth.

Xxx

Ste was petrified when he went into school, shaking and trembling, thinking about what was going to happen when he got home. He knew he would be met by a drunken John and Terry, and they easily dominated him, could beat the crap out of him with a few punches.

He barely said anything for the whole day. He played with his food at lunch, shrugged off all questions and statements that were aimed in his direction. He was heading towards reception when the day ended, not really taking notice of his route, his mind somewhere else, until he felt a hand grab his wrist and pull him into a classroom. Ste stumbled in and realised it was Brendan. Never had he been so happy to see anyone and he threw his arms around him, flushing their bodies together and inhaling his scent.

'Woah. Proud to see me Steven?'

Ste pulled away and was met by a smiling Brendan, his perfectly straight teeth gleaming at him, and Ste didn't respond. Instead he kissed him deeply and desperately and Brendan untied Ste's tie, started popping his buttons, groaning into his mouth when he felt the warm flesh touch his palms. He pulled away, ready to admire Ste's naked torso but a frown spread across his forehead.

'What's that?'

Brendan asked, his thumb sweeping across Ste's neck and down into the dip of his throat.

'What's what?'

Ste was confused, then he suddenly winced at the sensitivity and froze when he realised what Brendan was going on about.

'Those are handprints. Purple hand prints on your neck'

Brendan's eyes suddenly changed, turning angry and psychotic and his grip tightened on Ste's shirt, his teeth gritted as he spoke.

'Who did it?'

Ste paused, thinking of what to say, then stuttered when he finally did talk.

'Nobody... It's fine. Look, I'm fine.'

'No Steven!'

Brendan stormed out of the room, and Ste followed, jogging after him, quickly buttoning up his shirt and sliding his tie over his head.

'Brendan where're you going?'

'I'm gunna sort out that son of a bitch that keeps hurting you'

Ste panicked. He knew Brendan was strong but Uncle John was a perfect match. They could easily beat the crap out of one another, but it was a question of who would walk away. Ste lunged, pulled on his wrist before he reached his car.

'Brendan no'

He yanked his hand out of Ste's grip.

'No Steven. I'm not going to have him hurt you anymore. You're a good lad and you don't deserve it.'

'Stop please. Calm down. Look at me.'

Brendan resisted until Ste lifted his chin, his touch making him relax slightly.

'Terry should pay for what he does to you.'

'This wasn't Terry. It was my Uncle John. It's fine though. He'll be gone soon. I can handle it until then.'

Brendan huffed and pounded the roof of his car.

'You shouldn't have to handle anything!'

He paused for a second, thinking.

'Okay... Look. It's the Easter holidays next week. You should get away.'

'What are you talking about?'

Brendan came in close to Ste, moved his collar to get another look at the bruising, frowned again then looked him in the eye.

'You... We should get away. Me and you. We'll go away for a little bit. Just us. No Terry. No Pauline. No Uncle John'

Ste considered for a second, just him and Brendan. Together and a smile spread across his face.

'Just me and you? Together?'

Brendan was fully relaxed now and he took hold of Ste's hands and placed them on his chest, and Ste felt the strong heartbeat under his fingertips.

'Just me and you.'

Brendan re-assured him and kissed Ste's forehead.

'Yeah. Oh my god yeah I'd love that! How much money do I need? Where will we go?'

'No. You're not paying for anything. I'm gunna treat you, like you deserved to be treated. It's a surprise. Saturday at noon, I want you to meet me by the church. Dress smartly. Shirt and tie if you have it. And no, you're not wearing your school uniform. Make sure you don't get followed'

Ste giggled and rested his head on Brendan's shoulder.

'Thank you. You're so good to me.'

Xxx

Ste counted the days until he went away with Brendan, mouthing the days at him whenever they passed in the corridors.

Thankfully the rest of the week went quickly and when Ste got home, he packed his bags, hiding it underneath his bed, and at the bottom of his wardrobe was the box containing all of his prized possessions. He took it out and lay it on the floor, sitting cross legged in front of it, taking off the lid, memories flooding back. He took out the picture of him and his dad. His real dad. Brushed his fingers over the pocket watch he had given him when he was younger, the St Christopher necklace and golden cufflinks.

He focused his attention on the picture again and saw how he clung onto the bottom of his dad's leg, hands around his thigh, smiling naturally. Seeing the resemblance between him and his real dad was strange. The same curved nose, blue eyes, skinny figure. He looked passed it and saw the tuxedo lying at the bottom. He lifted it to his face, inhaled the old smell of his dad's famous aftershave and hair gel.

His dad, Jason, died when he was five. His mum had pushed him into the middle of a motorway when she was drunk one night. Pauline was having a breakdown, and she attempted suicide, but Ste's dad was so kind, so in love with her that he ended up giving his own life to save her. Ste remembered the time well. Jason walking cautiously up to Pauline, tears streaming down her face and he pulled her into a hug. Ste was stood on the grass, a few meters away, and Pauline flipped again, pushing Jason away, but he didn't give up. He tried to comfort her, but she forced him away, shoving him into the road. The next thing he saw was his dad lying in the middle of the road, blood streaming from his nose.

Xxx

Ste woke up relatively early the next morning, grabbing his bag and trying to sneak past John, Terry and Pauline.

'Where do you think you're going boy?'

He heard Pauline say. He turned to face her, but she continued to face the window, smoking a joint of cannabis.

'Just going to Callum's for a few days.'

Pauline let out a laugh.

'Whatever. You don't actually think I cared? Get out of my sight'

Terry and John laughed too, low pitched and intimidating. Ste was thankful they didn't turn around to see him out. His mum would have killed him if she saw him in his dad's suit.

Xxx

Ste turned the corner next to the church, and saw Brendan, sitting on the bonnet of a silver Aston Martin Vanquish. He wore a tight, white shirt that lined his muscles perfectly, a black tie, a fitted waistcoat and a black jacket, which was ruffled slightly at the bottom from where he had his hands in his pockets. The sun shone off of the bonnet of the car, reflecting onto Brendan's face. His skin was glowing, clean cut and shaven and Ste was dumbstruck. Brendan turned and did a doubletake, his face falling, his jaw hitting the floor. Ste had always been quite scruffy, never taking much care over his appearance, not that he needed to but Ste truly looked beautiful. A long sleeved white shirt, a waistcoat, his dad's pocket watch hanging from the pocket, a black blazer over the top, with the golden cufflinks and his St Christopher around his neck, his hair gelled to perfection.

'Wow.'

'Do I look smart enough for you?'

Brendan stumbled over his words, entranced by Ste's beauty.

'God. You look gorgeous.'

Brendan slid his hands inside Ste's jacket, bringing him close, deeply kissing him, his hands finding Ste's bum and he squeezed it lightly.

'Bren. We gunna get going?'

He kissed him again, straightening his tie.

'Let's go'


	10. Spoiling The Boy

Chapter 10

Brendan opened the door for Ste, slapping his bum before he sat down. Then they set off, speeding down the motorway, and they couldn't keep their eyes off of each other.

'You really look gorgeous you know? That look suits you'

'It was my dad's. All of this was'

'Was?'

'Yeah. My dad he...'

Ste paused, hit by a wave of nostalgia, hearing the sound of the car horn in his head and the thud of a body against the bonnet, seeing a body fly through the air and smash against the ground, the concrete merciless, and seeing the light fade from his dad's eyes, dimming as he slipped away, blood trickling from his nose and people stopping, getting out of their cars and dashing over to him, feeling his pulse and performing CPR, and Ste watched as their palms thudded against his chest, the body pulsing backwards and forwards in a rhythmic style.

'He... What?'

Ste zoned back in.

'He died. When I was young.'

'Oh. I'm sorry.'

Brendan reached over and stroked Ste behind his ear, running his fingers through his hair and stroking his cheek.

'It's okay. Was a long time ago now'

Ste slid his hand over Brendan's leg, rubbing up towards his thigh and giving it a squeeze, making Brendan flinch and swerve slightly.

'Woah. Steady'

Ste giggled and rubbed his thumb back and forth.

'How do you afford a car like this?'

'I own a few businesses here and there. A couple of them are in London and some back home in Dublin. But teaching is my passion. So I run my businesses and teach at the same time.'

Ste was stunned.

'So you're like... rich then?'

'Well, not rich... Okay. Yeah. I've just done well for myself that's all'

'Wow'

Ste squeezed Brendan's thigh again, making him flinch and jump in his seat.

'I would stop doing that if I were you. I might crash'

Ste said nothing. Instead, he started to touch Brendan through his trousers, grabbing him like he was putty in his hands, rolling his semi hard cock in his palm. Brendan gasped, looking down, watching Ste play with him, then flicking his eyes up towards the road.

'Steven. I'm driving.'

'So?'

He popped Brendan's button and slid his hand into his boxers, pumping him slowly and then he bowed his head, taking him whole in his mouth.

'Oh my jesus Steven. I'm dr... I'm driv...'

Brendan stuttered over his words and Ste merely continued, kissing the head and licking the shaft, before closing his lips around him, bobbing his head up and down, digging his nails into Brendan's thighs. He felt a hand on the back of his head, scratching his scalp and tugging clumps of his hair. It wasn't long before Ste felt Brendan's dick pulse in his mouth, the grip in his hair tighten and the whimpering sounds escape from his mouth. Ste sucked Brendan off through his orgasm, swallowing his sweet cum and giving his cock a final kiss before sitting up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

'Jesus Christ. As amazing as that was; never again boy. I nearly crashed about six times'

Ste chuckled and kissed Brendan on the cheek, nibbling his earlobes and mumbling against his neck.

'You loved it.'

Xxx

Ste knew the street straight away and his face was plastered to the window, his neck bending upwards to see the top of such large buildings, his face littered with the reflection of the flashing lights. He was in central London, Trafalgar square and Brendan pulled up to a grand spanking hotel. Brendan let himself out and got Ste's door, helping him out and purring in his ear.

'Surprise'

Ste was speechless, his jaw hitting the floor. The Hotel porter unloaded both of their suitcases, and Brendan threw his keys into the air, knowing someone would catch them. He lead Ste in, his hand pressing against his lower back. Ste was even more shocked when he went inside and saw the massive water fountain in the lobby, the sparkling chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the marble flooring, clicking underneath his shoes.

'Evening Sir's. Mr Brady. It has been a while. You have a new friend I see?'

Brendan tapped the counter.

'Indeed it has Brian. I have. This is young Steven Hay. I'm sure you know where we'll be staying'

'Steven. Pleasure Sir. Ah yes. The usual room I presume, with the en-suit and view of the city. How could I forget? Jake, I want you to show Mr Brady and Mr Hay to their room'

Ste was taken aback when Brendan and Brian started having such a casual conversation. He had been here before? Bloody hell! He must be minted if he's stayed here more than once.

They entered the lift and Ste saw they were going up to Level 35; the top floor and when they entered the room, Ste stood by the door, sunned at how modern and classy it was. A king sized bed with pure Egyptian cotton sheets, glass doors that lead out onto the balcony, en-suit bathroom with a separate shower and bath, 40 inch T.V and a fridge.

'You can come in you know?'

Brendan teased, stripping himself of his jacket and throwing it onto the bed.

'I'm sorry. All of this is just amazing. I can't take advantage of you like this'

Brendan silenced him.

'Shhh. You are not taking advantage. Come here'

Ste did so, taking off his jacket and placing it on the chair next to the bed, and he stood between Brendan's legs, wrapping his arms around his neck, while Brendan cupped Ste's hips in his hands.

'Thank you so much for this Brendan. It's... amazing. I can't... Really. Thank you'

Brendan kissed Ste's stomach through his shirt and smiled at him.

'No problem. Now, what do you wanna do now?'

He smiled and gave Ste a cheeky wink.

'I want a shower. Have to make the most out of posh places like this.'

With that, he unbuttoned his waist coat, removing the pocket watch, giving it a quick kiss before placing it down on the bedside table. Then he heard a huff from Brendan.

'What is it?'

Ste asked, trying to examine his expression. Then Brendan cracked a smile.

'Oh my god. It's my birthday today. I didn't even realise'

'It's your birthday? Jesus Brendan you should have told me. I would have got you something.'

Brendan gave Ste a mischievous look and leaned back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows.

'There is something else you can do for me'

Ste returned a smile, put his hands on his hips and spoke through a grin.

'What do you want Brady?'

Brendan stared at the ceiling for a moment, considering but he already knew what he wanted.

'Strip tease?

Ste hadn't expected that. He thought it'd just be sex, but he took it on board, and crossed the room seductively until he was standing back between Brendan' legs.

'Okay. Whatever you want Birthday Boy'

Brendan sniggered and Ste stepped back, sliding his waistcoat down his arms and then turning, his back facing Brendan, and he unbuttoned his shirt, slowly revealing the tops of his shoulders, turning his head slightly, so he could see Brendan's expression out the corner of his eye. He then, slid his shirt off his arms, unmasking more of his toned, tanned back, before throwing it aside. Ste turned back towards the bed and stroked down his own body, walked up to the bed and cupped Brendan's jaw, pulling his head towards his naked torso, and Brendan kissed his stomach delicately, making a wet trail with his bottom lip and he reached up to try and pull Ste closer, but Ste slapped his wrists and took a few steps back.

'No'

Brendan looked at him, puzzled.

'What did I do?'

'No touching.'

He raised his eyebrows, almost as if it was a joke.

'Are you serious? Steven come on.'

'You don't get to touch'

Ste shuffled back over and straddled him, kissing him deeply, putting Brendan under his spell.

'You don't get to touch'

He repeated and Brendan nodded. Ste climbed off of him and stretched, thrusting his hips forwards.

'Steven. This'll be torture'

'Tell me. Say it'

Brendan was hooked on Ste's toned abs and he blurted it out.

'No touching.'

With that, Ste shimmied out of his trousers, his tie still around his neck and boxers sitting comfortably on his hips. He put a hand inside his underwear and started to pump his cock slowly, a groan escaping his mouth and Brendan watched him with wide eyes. He was biting on his lip and Ste could see the erection growing in his trousers. Ste climbed out of his boxers and Brendan shut his eyes, clamping them down, determined not to look.

'Brendan. Open your eyes. Trust me'

Brendan trusted him. He fucking trusted him with all of his heart, but he was worried that he would absolutely ruin Ste if he opened his eyes and got fixated on his gorgeous body. He opened his eyes cautiously, trying to keep control and saw that Ste was slightly closer to him, still jerking himself off, and he appreciated that he could see how glorious Ste looked, able to observe his face, unlike the time when they masturbated over the phone.

The orgasm started to build deep inside Ste now, his legs beginning to tremble, and the noises becoming louder and more frequent. He threw his head back, furiously sliding his hand back and forth over himself, and he stepped a little closer, whining;

'Brendan. Open your mouth'

Brendan obeyed, and he opened wide, wanting to catch every bit of it. He clutched the bed sheets in his hand, his fists clenched and he swallowed, as he listened to Ste scream, absorbing the fucking gorgeous noises he made during the stages of immense pleasure.

Ste ducked his head and caught the cum that was running down Brendan's chin, licking up towards his mouth and he planted a small and subtle kiss on the corner of his lips, then collapsed on top of him, breathing hot and heavy.

'You can touch me now.'

Ste felt Brendan's hand slide up his legs, grab his bum and work their way up his back.

'Your turn now Bren. Do whatever you want with me'


	11. Opening Up About The Past

Chapter 11

Brendan hoisted Ste on top of him, tore open a condom with his teeth and gave it to Ste to put on him. He kissed Brendan's cock, before rolling it on and squirted lube all down his body and Brendan shivered at how cold it was.

'Steven! Cold! Cold!'

Ste giggled and massaged it into his skin, making him wet and slippery and he teased his nipples and scratched down his torso as he straddled him, wiggling his hips back and forth over Brendan's groin.

'God Steven. You're so gorgeous.'

Brendan let out a low growl from the back of his throat and Ste giggled and groaned as he felt Brendan's cock dig against his tight, twitching entry. Brendan caressed Ste's legs, ran a hand up his chest and around the back of his neck.

'Sit on my dick boy'

Ste's eyes widened at how filthy Brendan was being, it was such a turn on.

'Turn around'

'What?'

'Turn around. I wana see my cock go inside your arse'

Ste was suddenly breathless and he turned slowly, feeling insecure that he couldn't see Brendan's face. He loved to stare into his eyes and see his pupils dilate, watch him be overcome by lust and desperation.

Ste felt the head of Brendan's cock press against his hole and Brendan watched in fascination as Ste lowered himself, clinging onto the arm around his torso. Ste had never realised how big Brendan was and Ste felt the need to adjust himself first, gradually taking in his size, slowly thrusting back and forth, rotating his pelvis, and he flung his head back and rested it on Brendan's shoulder, feeling his breath hot and heavy in his ear.

'Jesus Christ Brendan. Fuck me'

'Yes Sir'

Brendan thrusted deep and hard inside Ste, making him yelp in pleasure and dig his head into the headboard and scratch into Brendan's forearm.

'How do I feel? Tell me'

Brendan's head started to spin, and he blinked several times, shaking his head, trying to put the immense pleasure into words.

'You're really tight... and warm'

He exhaled deeply, trying to cool himself down. The blood was running thick and hot through his veins, and he sunk his teeth into Ste's shoulders and licked his neck, tasting the saltiness of his slightly sweaty skin. Ste screamed Brendan's name when he hit the sensitive nerve ending inside of him, throwing his head back again, and Brendan trailed his lips down his neck, kissing his Adam's apple and licking the dip of his throat.

'Brendan... Jerk me off. Touch me... Oh my god!'

Ste spluttered, clamping his eyes shut and he flung an arm behind him, wrapping it around Brendan's neck, the other arm scratching at the wallpaper and he felt Brendan's hand squeeze the inside of his thigh and proceeding to wank him off, slowly teasing him. Brendan crooned into Ste's ear;

'You like that? Huh?'

Ste was breathless, physically unable to speak, reserving his energy for breathing and he simply nodded, moaning Brendan's name.

'Brendan... Faster. Toss me off faster'

Brendan did so, picking up the pace while thrusting hard against Ste's prostate and Ste clenched his inner muscles around Brendan's cock and he was suddenly choked, unable to breathe and he silently screamed during his orgasm, riding it out on Brendan's dick and he felt the grip around his stomach tighten as Brendan grunted and thrusted hard one last time, biting into Ste's neck, drawing blood, and they moaned simultaneously.

They both started to relax, the aftermath of their intense orgasms kicking in, and they remained in their position for a few minutes, panting and kissing each other tentatively. Ste remained in Brendan's lap, his cock still buried deep inside of him.

'Happy Birthday'

Ste mumbled against Brendan's hair and Ste felt him shake underneath him.

'You alright Bren?'

'You didn't actually believe it was my birthday did you?'

Ste looked up in confusion. Then he noticed that he was laughing.

'You what?'

'I only said that because I was dying to fuck you. And I wanted a strip tease'

Ste slapped Brendan's shoulder and clambered off of him.

'What was that for?'

'I can't believe you! You're impossible'

Ste sulked, folded his arms over his chest and Brendan lifted his chin and spoke in an American accent.

'Awww come on baby. Smile'

He smiled in order to encourage him and Ste cracked, giggling uncontrollably and he kissed Brendan and snuggled into his chest, circulating his nipple with his fingers.

'You're impossible'

'Yeah well'

He was so modest. Ste thought the world of Brendan. Trusted him with every ounce of his soul and every imperfection made him perfect, even his modesty and irritating tricks.

Ste leaned over, picking up his pocket watch and checked the time, before kissing it and putting it down again.

'Why do you do that?' Brendan asked, stroking his fingers over Ste's shoulders.

'Do what?'

'Why do you kiss that watch every time you look at it?'

Ste sunk his head back into Brendan's chest.

'It was my dads and it means a lot to me.'

There was silence for a minute and Brendan opened his mouth, ready to say something, then closed his mouth again.

'How did... your Da pass? If you don't mind me asking'

Ste was apprehensive, but then felt the need to talk about it.

'Well... we were at a wedding, me, my mum and dad. They had an argument and she got drunk and ran out of the hotel along the motorway, threatening to jump into the road. My dad had hold of me and put me down next to a fallen tree. He tried to stop her and he managed to get her into a hug, try and calm her down you know? She looked at me through his arms and flipped out and pushed him and he fell into the road. The next thing I remember is seeing him fly through the air and hitting the floor...'

Ste paused and Brendan continued to stroke his shoulders.

'My mum has blamed me for his death ever since'

'I'm sorry.'

'No it's fine. He was a good man. Sounds pathetic but he was my hero. He is everything I want to be.

'That's not pathetic at all. I wish I had a dad I could look up to'

Ste sat up and leaned on an elbow.

'What's your dad like?'

Brendan smirked.

'Not a good person. I'd rather not talk about it'

Xxx

Ste woke up in Brendan's arms, saw him lightly snoring and appreciated how beautiful he looked when he slept, his eyes flicking slightly, the light rise and fall of his chest and the strong pulse in his neck. Ste slid out of Brendan's grip, trying not to wake him. He crossed the room and turned on the shower, climbing in and allowing the water run down his body. He turned and put a hand against the shower wall, turned his head up towards the spray of water, letting it hit his face and trickle down his neck. Ste suddenly felt a pair of hands on his hips, making him jump.

'Relax'

The cool, deep purr from Brendan made him ease and he felt his warm breath against the back of his neck. Brendan moulded himself against Ste's back, kissed his shoulders and neck delicately, wrapped his arms around his torso, stroked up and down his chest.

'I only came in for a shower'

Ste chuckled and Brendan turned him, embracing him and pushing him against the wall, kissing him deeply. The skin on skin contact sending them over the edge, and they had wild, passionate sex in the shower, collapsing on the floor afterwards and allowing the water to run over them.

Xxx

The holiday away with Brendan went all to quick. Before he knew it, he was back at the church where he met him 5 days ago. He'd had the experience of a lifetime, eating in the fancy restaurants, going to major attractions, having hourly chats with Brian at the desk and having sex every night with Brendan, on the floor, in bed, in the shower, even in the elevator when they were gagging for it.

'Well, this is where we say goodbye.'

'Do I have to go? Can't I come to yours for a bit?'

Brendan smiled, leaned over and kissed him, nibbling his bottom lip.

'Only for a couple of hours. I've got a load of marking to do.'

Xxx

They crashed through the door, kissing each other passionately and Ste mumbled against Brendan's lips.

'Bren... Bedroom... Now.'

He was swept from his feet and thrown onto the bed, and Brendan popped the buttons of Ste's shirt, swiping a hand over his body and tugging at his belt, and he grinded against the boy's pelvis, moaning into his ears.

Suddenly the bedroom door swung open and a big boobed, blonde lady stood in the doorway, her eyes widening in shock, her hand coming to her mouth.

'Wooops! Sorry Bren. Didn't realise you had a guest.'

'Chez? What the hell are you doing here?'

Brendan remained on all fours, towering over Ste, his shirt still undone.

She scanned the room and her face fell.

'Brendan? What is that?'

Ste and Brendan turned in unison and froze when they saw Ste's blazer, lying in the corner or the room from when he left it a few weeks ago. She turned pale, all colour fading from her face and she looked at Brendan in horror.

'I can't believe this!'

'Chez. I can explain'


	12. Understanding

Chapter 12

'You're sleeping with a school boy? You're sick!'

She stormed out of the room and Brendan looked down at Ste, kissed him on the forehead and clambered off of the bed.

'Stay here'

He fled out of the room, catching the door before Cheryl could exit, slammed it shut and obstructed her path.

'Just listen to me for a second. Please!'

Cheryl screamed in his face, punching and slapping him.

'No Brendan! You're taking advantage of a boy!'

Brendan put his guard up, shielding himself from the slaps.

'He's 18! I'm not taking advantage of him. He wants it and so do I!'

'So that makes it all okay does it? He is still a kid! How long has this been going on?'

Brendan paused, flicking his eyes towards the floor, too nervous to even look at her. Cheryl had this certain power over him, she reminded him of his mother, able to practically kill him with a single look.

She gritted her teeth and bored into him, sinking him into the floor.

'How long Brendan?'

His voice broke, high pitched and hoarse.

'About 6 months.'

'Jesus, Mary and Joseph!'

She shoved Brendan out of the way, and slammed the door behind her and he sulked back to his room, where Ste was buttoning up his shirt.

'Where are you going?'

'I better get home. Looks like you have a lot to sort out'

Brendan sunk his head between his shoulders. He had told Ste all those months ago to be open and honest with himself and everyone else, yet he couldn't take his own advice and tell Cheryl, his own flesh and blood, that he was in a... relationship.

'Yeah. I'm sorry Steven.'

'Don't be sorry. I had an amazing time in London. You spoiled me rotten.'

Ste picked up his school blazer, seeing as that was the burden that had caused this upset, and walked over to him, pressed a palm to his cheek and put on the same American accent that Brendan did in the hotel.

'Awww come on baby, smile'

Brendan laughed at how goofy and cute he was, there was no doubt that there was something more than just sex between them. Every time he looked at the boy his chest tightened, and his stomach filled with butterflies. Brendan knew that he was quickly falling in love with him.

'I'll see you Monday.'

Xxx

Ste was on route home, when he saw Callum walking towards him. He'd been dying to see him, but Callum had a face like thunder and when he got close enough he slapped Ste across the face.

'Where the hell have you been for the past five days?'

Ste felt the zing of pain shoot though his cheek. He stammered over his words, freezing on the spot.

'I've... been at home'

'Don't fucking lie to me Ste! Your mum called my house asking if you were there because apparently you were staying over at mine for the week!'

He froze again, the cogs in his brain overloading, trying to think of what to say.

'I've been away okay? To London.'

Callum believed that. His face relaxed slightly, but he continued to challenge him.

'With who?'

'I went on my own.'

'Bull shit did you! Where did you get the money to go to a city like that on your own? You don't work, no way in hell would your mum give you the money. Who did you go with?'

'I told you! I went on my own okay! Drop it!

Callum's blood boiled, the bottom of his eye twitching with anger, setting off a tick in his cheek.

'Right! Keep lying to your best mate! I know a lot more about you than you think!'

Ste tensed. Did he know that he had been seeing Brendan? He turned into a bag of nerves, his legs turning to jelly.

'What's that then?'

'I know what your mum and Terry do to you! How long do you think " _I walked into a door, I fell into the cupboard, I tripped down the stairs" _is going to work? I'm not stupid! But I decided not to say anything because you obviously weren't telling me for a reason! Grow a pair of balls and be honest with me!'

He stormed past Ste, elbowing him in the ribs. The sensible thing would be to leave him and let him cool down. Yeah... The _sensible _thing.

'Callum! What did you say to my mum?'

He stopped and turned, his fists still clenched. Ste's heart jumped into his mouth at that point.

'Don't worry. I covered for you! Wish I hadn't now! You're a selfish dick!'

He continued walking, his knuckles still white from the pressure, legs shaking slightly from the adrenalin rush. Callum wasn't a violent person by all means, whenever a heap of drama or bravado sparked, he would be the first in there to try and calm the situation.

'Oh yeah? Well Callum, you slap like a bitch!'

Xxx

Ste walked to school the next day on his own, stopping at the shop before going through the gates. Needless to say, he wasn't paying attention, and he walked into someone, their goods crashing to the floor.

'Oh shit. I'm sorry. Here'

Ste knelt, picked everything up, and handed them back, only to find it was Cheryl he had walked in to.

'Thanks love... Oh... It's you'

Her smile turned into a grimace. It looked like Brendan hadn't been able to sort things out and the last thing Ste wanted to do was cause more trouble for themselves.

'Cheryl look, I heard everything you said. Yeah I am just a school boy but I'm 18. He isn't taking advantage of me. I promise'

I promise. I promise?! How the hell would that change her mind?

'I don't want to hear your excuses. He could lose his job, go to prison because of you'

'I know. But he has made me really happy, been there for me when I needed someone'

Her expression relaxed slightly and she was ready to say something, but instead said nothing. She turned and walked away.

Xxx

School was awkward. Callum didn't speak to him, Ashley, Pete, and Jack had no idea what was going on, so they too said nothing. Ste wanted to break the ice, but the obvious topic of conversation would be '_Why aren't you and Callum talking?'_

When Ste walked into English, Brendan had his head on the desk so he took his seat immediately and to no surprise, Callum walked past him, staring him down, his eyes like daggers.

The time flew by, probably because there wasn't any distracting conversation and Ste stayed behind, walked up to the desk and tried to get a glimpse of Brendan's face. He had his head resting in his palm, his fingers scrunched up in his hair.

'Did you manage to talk to Cheryl?'

Brendan peered up to him, bags under his eyes, his hair messy, his clothing scruffy.

'I tried. I left about 50 voicemails and tried to text her. She won't talk to me.'

'I bumped into her earlier. I tried to tell her that you weren't taking advantage, but she wouldn't listen'

Brendan huffed. That was no surprise.

'Typical stubborn Brady is my wee sister'

Xxx

Friday finally came and Ste was relieved despite the fact that Callum still wasn't talking to him. He just wanted a day where he wasn't getting evil looks from him. Ste hadn't seen Brendan all week seeing as Cheryl had screamed at the pair of them and Brendan seemed to be avoiding him, and that meant he had no one to turn to.

Xxx

He sat at the Angel Water fountain, planting his chin in his palm and then he sensed a presence behind him. He turned to see Cheryl standing next to him, a hand on her hip. He couldn't read her expression so he assumed that she was here to warm him to stay away from Brendan.

'You come to have another go at me?'

She sat next to him, a little too close for comfort, but he went along with it.

'No. I'm sorry for the way I acted the other day. I've had a think about some things. I overreacted and Brendan has acted really different since he met you. You've put a smile on his face, which is something I haven't seen in a while and he needs a break, especially after what happened to Vinnie and...'

Ste cut her off.

'Vinnie? Who's Vinnie?'

Cheryl looked at him as if he was crazy.

'He didn't tell you?'

Ste was confused. Had Vinnie been someone before him? Was Ste just a sloppy second?

'No he didn't. Brian said...'

'You've met Brian?! Wow. He really does care about you.'

She stared at Ste with an open mouth, he eyes shining in awe.

'Look Ste, I came to say that your secret is safe with me. I didn't agree with it at first. You're so young, but if it makes my brother happy, then who am I to stop him from seeing you?'

She smiled at him, her plump cheeks flushing red and Ste returned the smile.

'You mean... You're cool with me and Brendan? You won't rat us out?'

'Course not. He really cares about you. You don't seem like a bad lad'

'Wow. Thank you so much!'

Ste pulled her into a hug, throwing his arms around the slightly larger frame, inhaling her perfume. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and ran to Brendan's house.

Xxx

Brendan opened the door and Ste flung his arms around him, nearly knocking him to the floor and he kissed him deeply, pushing him against the wall, threading his fingers through his hair.

'Happy to see me Steven?'

Brendan forced a smile, no real happiness behind it seeing as the stress of potentially losing his job had gotten to him.

'Cheryl said she wouldn't tell anyone.'

'You've seen her?'

'Yeah. She said that our secret is safe with her and all she wants is to see you happy!'

Brendan's face lit up with true happiness and he pressed his lips to Ste's. That's the girl that Brendan knew. Cheryl had had to adapt to Brendan's ways a lot, especially back in the day but he didn't think she'd come around this time. Sometimes he thought that he didn't deserve her.

This was definitely something to celebrate, and Brendan pulled away from Ste's lips and practically dragged him to his room, shoving him back against the door and purring into his ear;

'Listen boy. You, are going to do everything I say okay? Everything'

'Okay'

Brendan put a finger to Ste's lips.

'Shhh. No talking'

Ste smirked, and Brendan returned to possessing his lips, stripping him of his clothes and running his hand over ever bit of his golden flesh. He scratched down Ste's ribs and nibbled on his earlobes, one of his major turn on areas and a high pitched squeaked escaped his mouth.

'I thought I said no noise?'

Brendan growled and Ste nodded, smirked once again, getting a buzz in this pit of his stomach about his rebelliousness.

'Bend over. Hands against the wall'

He turned, bent over and felt a sharp hard slap against his bum. Brendan whipped his belt out from his trousers and swiped it under Ste's chin, lifting his head and kissing him from above, his hands tracing his abdominals down to his groin. Ste bit on his lip, bruising them with his teeth and his eyes widened when he saw that Brendan held a leather belt in his hands. He ran it down Ste's back and over his bum, the cold material sending goose bumps over his skin, and Brendan swung the belt behind his head and forced it downwards, the leather cracking against Ste's arse, making him cry out. Brendan stood back, admired the deep, red glow of Ste's left arse cheek and he bought the belt behind his head again, smashed it towards the floor, hearing the clash of leather and skin. He bought the belt around Ste's hips, pulling him back towards him, stroking down his chest, before playing with his erection, breathing hot and ragged in his ear.

'You like that? I am gunna ruin you'

Ste nodded, moaning incoherently and Brendan pushed him back against the wall, got on his knees, parted Ste's arse cheeks and pressed the flat of his tongue to the tight ring of muscle that was Ste's entry, fucking him with the tip of his tongue, making him wet with his saliva, and Ste was unexpectedly surprised. Nobody had ever done this to him before.

'That good? Huh?'

Brendan returned to rimming him, grabbing an arse cheek firmly in each hand and Ste physically couldn't speak, instead he backed his against Brendan's tongue, slowly rotated his hips.

Brendan stood, kissed the back of Ste's neck and turned him.

'On your knees'

Ste collapsed, his head pressing against Brendan's crotch.

'You know what to do boy'

Ste peered up, Brendan's cock pressing uncomfortably against the tight material of his trousers, and Ste reached up, popping the button, unzipping him, pulled down his boxers and Brendan's cock pressed against his chin and Ste smiled up at him, then took him in his mouth, quickly sucking on him and Brendan put a hand on the back of his head.

'Woah Steven. Slow down a bit. Take it nice and slow'

Ste curled his hands around Brendan's thighs and licked slowly, his head moving back and forth with the slight thrust of Brendan's hips and he pushed his cock to the back of Ste's throat.

'Jesus Christ. Fuck that's good'

Brendan threw his head back, pulled on Ste's hair, and he was completely overcome by the wet, hot heat. The boy sucked and slurped him down, pushing himself to the limit and almost gagging, but the stubborn fuck that he was, refused to let Brendan's size become an issue.

Brendan placed two fingers under Ste#s chin, signalling him to rise off of the floor and he pushed him against the bed, lifted his legs around his shoulders, and slowly pressed into him, thrusting against his prostate, setting Ste's body on fire in a sequence of sweat and heavy breathing, a hallucinogenic haze of sex, both of them on the brink of orgasm, riding it out on each other and Ste remained silent as asked, pushing his head back into the mattress, the veins in his neck bulging and pulsing, a large exhale of breath when the orgasm aftermath kicked in. It was over within minutes, yet the orgasm had been so desperate and intense.

Ste snuggled into Brendan's neck, an arm slung lazily over his torso and then he suddenly remembered.

'Bren?'

'Mmmm?'

'Who's Vinnie?'

Ste felt Brendan freeze, tension rising in his muscles and the usual stroking of his shoulders came to a halt.

'What?'

'Who's Vinnie? Cheryl said something about him earlier, saying you had a hard time or something. Who is he?'

Ste waited for an answer but nothing came and he sat up, stared Brendan in the face, trying to read his expression.

'He was a friend. From a long time ago'

The tone of his voice was less than convincing.

'Right'

Ste got out of bed, put on his boxers and reached for his trousers.

'Where are you going?'

'I know when you're lying to me. I ain't gunna stay here and have you lie point blank'

Brendan's eyes filled with plea and he swung an arm forward, reaching for the boy.

'No Steven wait. Please don't go. Come back to bed... I'll tell you everything.'


	13. More Than One Broken Heart

Chapter 13

Ste perched on the edge of the bed and Brendan still held out his hand, craving physical contact.

'Come here. Please'

Brendan pleaded and Ste succumbed to temptation, interlocked their fingers and he snuggled back into his chest.

'So come on then. Who was he?'

Ste asked, his tone becoming slightly impatient and irritated. Brendan stuttered over his words, tried to summon the courage and talk about his dark past.

'He was my boyfriend'

A wave of jealousy surged through Ste. The thought of anyone having their hands on Brendan infuriated him.

'He was my boyfriend a while ago. I had an affair with him when I was married. I loved him so much, with all of my soul and I would have done anything for him.'

'What happened to him?'

Brendan deeply exhaled, pulled Ste closer to him in the means of comfort. He needed to feel the warm body against his, feel the desire and want.

'He died. When we were together, I had this guy coming after me, all to do with the past, and he manipulated Vinnie, made him feel guilty and drove him to insanity to the point where...'

Ste propped himself up on an elbow when Brendan trailed off and saw a tear fall down his cheek. He swiped it away, cupped his face and stroked underneath his eye.

'It's okay. You can tell me'

He sniffed, wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

'He killed himself. Took a gun and shoved it to the back of his throat. He rang me, told me he loved me and all I heard was a bang, and I ran. I knew where he was and I saw his blood everywhere. My beautiful boy lying in his own blood'

Ste was horrified, physically and emotionally hurting from what Brendan had been through. Brendan's pain was now Ste's pain.

'Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Come here.'

Ste pulled Brendan in, kissed his forehead, held him while he shook uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face.

Xxx

Ste had spent the night at Brendan's. He didn't have the heart to leave him while he was in such a state, and he woke up in Brendan's solid grip, his breath, light against Ste's forehead. He carefully untangled himself, kissed Brendan on the cheek before stealing his dressing gown and heading to the kitchen, where he was met by Cheryl, who was cooking a fry up.

'Jesus Cheryl! You scared the crap outta me!'

'Oh hello love! I didn't know you were here! I suppose Bren didn't say I was staying here for a wee while?'

Ste giggled, pulled the dressing gown around his waist awkwardly.

'No he didn't. I'm sorry if this is a bit... uncomfortable.'

'Oh don't be silly. If my brother is happy, then so am I. I was being over the top and really you aren't doing anything wrong. You're the right age and you care about each other'

Cheryl smirked, pulled a _you two are so cute_ face.

Brendan came out of his room at that point, half naked, and he rubbed his tired eyes, his voice was disturbed and sleepy.

'Heya sis. Smells good'

He wrapped an arm around Ste's waist, pulled him in close, inhaled the scent of his hair.

'This is my dressing gown you little git'

'Yeah well, I think you look a lot better without it'

Ste turned slightly, put a hand on Brendan's stomach, leaned up and kissed him sloppily, licked along his bottom lip and seductively giggled.

'Eurgh. Get a room you guys'

'Don't tempt me Chez.'

Xxx

Ste saw Cheryl regularly. It was so easy for them to be around each other now, and it meant that he and Brendan could be normal around someone, and didn't have to hide. Brendan kissed him in front of her, invited him to movie nights where Cheryl would always buy the popcorn, and in reality, they got on like a house on fire.

One Saturday they were all sat on the sofa, Ste between Brendan's legs, his arms around his skinny torso, Cheryl sat in front of him, a cushion in her lap when Brendan came out with something unexpected.

'I wana go see him tomorrow'

Ste and Cheryl looked at him in unison, pulling the same confused look.

'Vinnie. I wana see him tomorrow. Will you take me Chez?'

He rested his head on Ste's shoulder and Cheryl leaned forward, placed a hand on Brendan's knee, her voice delicate and apprehensive.

'Are you sure you want to do this Bren? You haven't been able to cope the other times.'

'Yeah but I'm stronger now. Steven... Will you come too?'

Ste was in shock. He didn't even know the guy and yet he was being asked to go to his grave?

'Me? Nonononono. I don't think that's a good idea. He was something special to you and it'd be awkward if I was there.'

'No it wouldn't. Please come along. I need you'

Brendan pulled the same face he had the other night, his eyes weak and vulnerable, his expression was for once readable and his plea alone was enough to get him to agree.

'Okay, but only because it's you.'

Xxx

The following day, Ste dressed in his suit that he had left behind when they came home from London, and he stood in front of the mirror, gelling his hair to perfection and he caught the sight of Brendan's reflection.

'It'll be alright you know?'

Brendan paced, fist in his mouth, his eyes rough and his tie undone. Ste walked over to him, done up his tie, adjusted his hair and looked at him in the face, attempting to sooth his nerves.

'It'll be okay'

Xxx

It was strange when they arrived at the graveyard. In some ways it seemed familiar to Ste, and then he recalled that this is where his Nan and Granddad were buried. His dad bought him here all the time to lay a fresh set of roses, his Nan's favourite flower. Cheryl led the way to the headstone and Ste strayed behind, his hand locked inside Brendan's and he came to a halt.

'You alright Bren?'

His voice was high pitched, hoarse and squeaky. He fought back the tears, gulped, tried to force the lump in his throat away.

'I can't do it'

'Yes you can. You're strong. If you don't do this now, you never will. Come on.'

He tugged on Brendan's arm and he was resilient at first, but with Ste's comforting hand squeeze, he slowly caught up to Cheryl.

They came face to face with the marble headstone which was engraved with gold writing.

_Vincent Jones_

_A loved and Cherished son_

Brendan sniffed, wiped away the tears while Cheryl lay a bunch of lilies onto the soil.

'There you are lad. Hope you're being good up there'

She smiled and tapped the marble, the sound of her rings and bracelets clinking against it.

'Do you wana say anything love?'

He immediately shook his head, his eyes red and bloodshot, puffy underneath.

'I want to say something'

Ste got in close, knelt down and stroked a finger down the headstone.

'I know I didn't know you very well, well I didn't know you at all but you mean a lot to Brendan. Don't ever forget that. This is a promise from me to you.'

Ste took a deep breath.

'I promise I'll look after him. I'll never be able to replace you but I'll try and make him happy'

Cheryl smiled, in awe of the boy, taking on a new role and trying to make Brendan a happier man.

'Ste that was lovely. Thank you'

Cheryl rubbed Brendan's arm and whispered in his ear.

'I'll wait for you in the car love. You need some time'

Ste stood for a second and Brendan wrapped his arms around Ste's torso.

'Thank you. That was beautiful'

They walked back to the car in silence, there wasn't really anything to be said and it was a slightly sensitive time, definitely not the time for a conversation.

Without warning, Ste came to a halt, jogged up to a random headstone and collapsed to his knees.

'You okay?'

Brendan came up behind him and saw what Ste was looking at, and tears were suddenly streaming down his face.

It was his dad's grave.

_Jason Hay_

_Loving Husband, Loving Father and Loving Son._

Ste pressed his head to the concrete slab, ran his fingertips down it until he held a handful of soil. No one had been here in years. It was dry, there were no flowers and it looked like the grave had been badly neglected for quite a while and this added to Ste's emotion. He never knew where his dad had been buried, Pauline never told him. She even refused to go the funeral.

'I love you so much dad. I promise I'll make you proud of me.'

Brendan knelt, put a hand on Ste's shoulder and kissed his cheek.

'You already have made him proud. Don't you worry Mr Hay Sir. I'll take good care of him.'

Xxx

Ste walked through his front door, his eyes bloodshot, his nose red from where he had been constantly wiping it.

'Where the hell have you been boy? Hardly seen you for the past few weeks!'

Terry screamed in his face, backed him against the wall and Uncle John grabbed him by the wrist, threw him to the floor, straddled him and choked him, his thumps pressing into his windpipe.

'Answer him'

Ste was struggling to breathe and he could feel the pressure building up inside of his veins, his head felt like it was going to explode.

'I went to... see my dad'

Pauline suddenly towered over him, knelt down and yanked on Ste's hair, breathed hot and sharp in his face, teeth gritted, her eyes delusional.

'You saw your father? You have no right! He doesn't want to see your face. You're the reason he is dead! Little bastard'

She poured her beer over him, laughed, gained a sick sadistic pleasure and Uncle John spat in his face before standing, and he kicked him in the ribs before they all walked out of the house in unison.

Xxx

English was the last lesson of the day, and Ste trudged in, still upset from seeing his dad and what had happened afterwards. He took his seat, folded his arms and rested his chin on the table, stared out of the window all through lesson, not once picking up a pen.

When the bell rang, Brendan asked him to stay behind.

'You haven't done any work today Steven. Why?'

Ste leaned over, requested a kiss, but Brendan moved away.

'No. I know we have this... thing going on but I am still your teacher, and I have to treat you like any other pupil. Why didn't you do any work?'

Ste was taken aback, and he crossed his ankles, stood awkwardly, hung his head between his shoulders.

'I told my mum that I saw my dad yesterday. She poured beer on me and Uncle John spat in my face. Just still a bit sensitive.'

Brendan relaxed, a wave of guilt clouding him, and he reached out a hand and rested it on Ste's elbow.

'I'm sorry. But you still have to do some work okay? I'll help you through it as much as I can'

Ste smirked and loosened his tie slightly.

'Well, surely I should get a punishment for not doing any work. You gunna have me over your desk? Spank me? Fuck me until I can't see?'

Brendan returned the snigger, leaned back on his desk, opened his body, enticed and invited the boy.

'You filthy little minx.'

Ste took over Brendan's lips, ran his palms up his thighs, rested them on his waist and Brendan lifted him, turned and sat him on the table and started to undo his buttons and he flattened his hand over Ste's chest, planted small, wet kisses on his neck and collarbone. Ste ran a hand round the back of Brendan's neck, pulled him into his shoulder then suddenly froze. Brendan sensed the sudden halt, felt Ste's body go cold against his. He looked up, followed the trail Ste made with his eyes, only to find Callum standing at the door, his mouth wide open, eyes enriched with horror. Ste croaked, a lump rising in his throat and he struggled to speak.

'Callum'


	14. Keeping Things a Secret

Chapter 14

Callum stumbled backwards, his sight drawn to the half naked pair that remained paralysed, wrapped in each other's arms. His jaw was practically touching the floor, eyebrows knitted together in disgust, pupils blown wide in astonishment. He couldn't fathom what he was seeing, wasn't sure whether his mind was playing tricks on him and it was his insecurities that had taken over, made his thoughts completely irrational and barbaric.

Ste slowly slipped out of Brendan's grip and touched his feet the the floor, pushed his weight away from the desk gently, didn't want to make any sudden movements in case he scared Callum away without the opportunity to try and explain. He began to think illogically, thought that if he moved slowly, or little at all then Callum wouldn't see them, would make him doubt his own mind. Of course that was wishful thinking.

The younger man seemed to snap out of his trance, the sight that he had just witnessed seeming to sink in. He stormed out and down the corridor, gave Ste a look of death before his departure which seemed to strike a nerve in the Mancunian. He had betrayed his best friend, had betrayed their friendship, all of the promises and the trust. Ste quickly fastened up the loose buttons that Brendan had undone, gave the Irishman a quick kiss on the lips and sprinted out of the class.

'Callum! Callum wait!

Ste chased after his fuming friend, ran at top speed down the corridor shouting his name, vocalising pleas to get him to stop. Callum came to an abrupt halt before the fire exit, turned slowly on one foot, his face still contorted with confusion.

'Him? Him!'

He spat, vicious and enriched with venom.

'Look, I can explain-'

'There is no need to explain! You're sleeping with our English teacher! Why? How? Did he... Did he give you the lovebite? You went to London with him! Oh my god... What the actual fuck?!'

The younger man barked, didn't leave any room for Ste to try and justify his actions and he didn't _want _to either_, _the lies and the deceit being enough to over ride any mercy. Everything made sense to him now. Ste's secrecy, why he had taken a sudden liking towards English, the flirtatious behaviour and subtle looks that the two gave each other in class. Ste's knees began to tremble as he picked at his nails in shame. He was scared of two things. 1) A punch in the face. 2) Callum would expose their relationship to the whole school and Brendan would lose his job.

'I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did'

He mumbled, couldn't face looking into his friend's eyes, knew what he would be greeted with. Disappointment, disgust. Callum shook his head vigorously, was shocked at Ste's stupidity, fecklessness, the fact that he thought he had a valid reason to be intimate with a teacher.

'No. No, he is taking advantage of you. You're a kid and he's...'

'No Callum he isn't! I'm 18. I can do what I want. He cares about me and I care about him.'

Ste blasted in response. Indeed their relationship was unprofessional but it was legal. The sexual intimacy wasn't forced. Callum had no real insight, didn't know what he was talking about and it made Ste's blood boil, how he had gotten on his high horse, telling _him_ what he could and couldn't do. Callum took a step closer to the Mancunian, shuffled into his personal space.

'You only _think_ he cares. He has you wired up! Got inside your head!'

He dug his fingertip into Ste's temple, wanted to drive his point home but it wasn't going to happen, there was nothing he could say that would make Ste feel any differently about Brendan, make him think that he was in the wrong.

'You can say what you want. Nothing is gunna change this'

Ste concluded, slapped Callum's hand away from him and nudged him out of his space, couldn't and wouldn't feel threatened at a time like this.

'You have to end this. He'll break your heart so... end it now, or I will.'

Callum threatened, putting a hand behind him and snapping down the handle on the fire exit, was prepared to give an ultimatum and make a dramatic exit if that is what it took. Ste shook his head in disbelief, didn't think that Callum could do that to him, could take something away that had become a necessity in his life.

'Don't underestimate me Ste. He'll break your heart, and I don't wanna have to be the one to pick up the pieces. I'm saying this because I care. _End_ it.'

On that note, he took his leave, thundered through the fire exit and down the school drive leaving Ste frozen to the spot. He was conflicted, had no idea what to do now because _everything_ was at stake, his relationship, his education, his dignity. He sulked back to the classroom where Brendan was leaning against his desk fully clothed once again, chewing at his nails in nervousness.

'What happened? What did he say?'

Brendan asked, took himself over to the boy and cupped his face in his hands, forced the eye contact that Ste was evidently trying to avoid. The Mancunian looked into the eyes of his lover and felt like he was having an outer body experience, felt like he could see the potential outcome. Brendan behind bars, himself out of education and left at the violent hands of Terry, all dignity lost, no friends, everybody looking down their noses at him.

'He told me to end it. Or _he_ would'

Ste muttered, dragging his gaze else where, Brendan pulling away and touching his closed fist to his forehead, exhaling deeply in agitation.

'You're _not_ gunna... end it with me are you?'

Ste asked, picking at the underside of his nails. If it was going to happen, if the heart break was going to come then he needed it now, sooner rather than later. Brendan's index finger was underneath his chin then, pulling upwards so he could look into his eyes again, make his point imperative.

'No. Not after everything we've been through. I'm in too deep and... You mean too much to me.'

He ran his fingers through the boy's hair and planted a delicate kiss on his soft lips.

'We carry on as normal okay? We just... can't do anything _here_. It was stupid to even attempt to do things here and expect not to get caught. _No_ more revision classes. We have to make it seem like nothing ever happened'

Ste nodded in agreement, took a fistful of Brendan's shirt into his hands and smiled. Callum couldn't be more wrong about this man. He was putting everything on the line here; his job, his dignity, his businesses. It proved to Ste that _this_ was not a fling. It was real, he was worth the risk, the fatality.

'So... You're not gunna leave me?'

The boy asked, needed to be certain, needed to hear the surity in Brendan's voice.

'I will _never_ leave you Steven. I promise.'

* * *

At lunch time the next day Ste went and sat at a table on his own in the canteen, far away in a desolate corner, wanted to isolate himself from Callum because he couldn't bare to be around him. He didn't want to have to face the ultimatum that was still stuck fresh in his mind, that lurked everywhere he went. Also, Callum was a distinct reminder of it, of what could potentially be if he didn't play this right.

At that moment, Brendan came into the canteen, hands in his pockets and exchanging pleasantries and mannerisms with fellow teachers and students. He used his authoritative status to sneakily jump to the front of the pizza queue, a cheeky grin on his face as the dinner ladies gave him comical, disappointed looks. That smile made Ste's chest feel heated and dense, his stomach flipping as he eyed up the older man's body; the tight shirt that clung to his muscles, the glasses that hooked comfortably in the pocket, his fitted trousers that outlined the globes of his arse perfectly. Ste took out his phone and sent Brendan a teasing message, giggled to himself at how childish it was.

_Nice ass. It looks good in those trousers ;D xx_

He gazed at Brendan's gorgeous form and watched how he took his phone out from his back pocket whilst paying for his pizza, his eyebrows raising as he read Ste's text, his tongue trailing the inside of his cheek. Brendan searched the canteen and met Ste's eyes in a matter of seconds. They exchanged a loving glance, Ste's Bambi eyes fluttering flirtatiously.

'Have you sorted stuff then?'

Callum's voice came from behind him, sliced through the moment that he and Brendan were sharing like a knife on butter. Ste awkwardly turned, was met by the younger man's intense gaze. It unnerved him somewhat. He hoped that Callum didn't see the look that he'd exchanged with his lover because it'd give him more reason to try and end things, get between them more than he already had.

'Yeah, seeing as you've given me no choice. I ended it last night. Thanks for ruining something that _actually_ made me happy'

Ste replied coldly, slamming his palms on the table and getting to his feet, striding past Callum with speed and knocking his shoulder into the younger man, had to make the scenario seem real, make his feelings appear true and imperative.

* * *

At the end of the day, Ste shuffled out of class, shooting a small, doe eyed glance at Brendan because he was gutted that he couldn't stay behind. These revision classes were precious to Ste, were times when the pair could spend time together, make up for lost time and separate the mixing of business and pleasure. The younger boy sulked down the corridor, didn't know when he'd be able to spend time with Brendan again, wanted to more than anything, _needed_ to because he was a necessity, an element that was almost crucial as Oxygen.

Ste suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, was disrupted from his thoughts and he turned only to be greeted by Callum. He sighed in annoyance, didn't want to have to deal with him right now because he was the reason that he was being depraved of his life source.

'What do you want?'

'Ste please. Hear me out for a second yeah?'

Ste halted, wanted to see what phatic and pathetic excuses Callum had come up with to try and justify his actions, his ultimatum.

'Look, I know what I said about... ending it sounded a bit harsh, but... I care about you-'

Ste interrupted, was alarmed at what he was hearing. How could Callum possibly care about him when he was spiteful enough to use blackmail?

'No you don't. He made me happy Callum, and you have ruined everything'

'Please. You can find someone else, better than him and someone who is your age. I don't want you getting in trouble. I've seen and heard about stuff like this, how adults manipulate younger people, and it never has a good turn out. I care about you'

Ste relaxed momentarily, saw Callum as part of his family and couldn't possibly stay angry with him forever, never had been good at holding a grudge. He and Callum had had petty arguments before but nothing as serious as this, the consequences no where near as severe. They needed each other, had made a promise when they were kids that they'd always have each others back and that was a promise that he wanted to keep.

'Please Ste. Forgive me. I won't interfere'

His friend begged. The thought of losing Ste was scary to Callum, petrifying in fact because they were dependent on each other

'Serious? Promise?'

'Yes! Yes I promise. But that doesn't mean you can go back to him okay? It's not right.'

His face contorted at the thought. He still stood by his morals, that Ste and Brendan being together was wrong but the Mancunian ignored his friend, wanted nothing more than to have them both in his life. Lying seemed necessary because he couldn't face losing either of them. He pulled Callum into a hug, found the whole thing quite pathetic now he looked back on it, a brotherly spat.

'I missed you'

* * *

Ste lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, the thought of lying to his best friend now playing on his mind. He was thinking of a plan, of how to deal with things while Callum was around, how he was going to act in front of Brendan when he knew that Callum would have him under his watchful eye. They needed to be subtle, nimble, cunning otherwise the consequences would be serious. Ste would lose his best friend, his dignity, his respect and his lover. Brendan too would lose his dignity and respect and he'd lose hos job.

He picked up his phone from his bedside table and composed a text, wanted to take his mind off of his current dilemma by texting the only person who shared the same problem.

_Miss you. I'm gunna have to go back to your place tomorrow after walking home with Callum. I promise I'll come quietly x_

He locked his phone and put it on the pillow next to his head, tapped his fingers impatiently whilst waiting for a response.

_Well that would be a first Steven. Coming quietly? Bull crap. You're a noisy one. X_

Brendan's reply initiated him to howl of laughter. He slapped his palm over his hand, in shock at himself for being so loud. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up Terry and his mum.

_I don't come quietly when you're balls deep in me, that's for sure x_

He had to reply with an innuendo, couldn't help himself because that man does things to him, gets his blood flowing.

_Jesus boy. I'm gunna absolutely destroy you. X_

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Ste and Brendan had been subtle, had put their plan into action and thankfully, Callum didn't suspect a thing. They'd been plain and blunt with each other, refrained from gazing upon one another's beauty in the canteen, Ste had stopped going to revision sessions and was receiving them at Brendan's house instead. Ste also spent a little more time with Callum as well to try and sculpt his thoughts in a way, make him think that if he was with Callum, then he couldn't possibly be with Brendan.

It was a Saturday night and Brendan was currently balls deep inside Ste, as promised. He was being straddled, a pair of arms around his neck and he kissed the flat, toned chest that was being flaunted in front of him, licking and sucking erect nipples and possessing the boy's lips as he continued to rotate and thrust his hips, searching for the sensitive nerve ending that erupted Ste's body like a volcano. Ste moaned into Brendan's mouth as he bounced up and down, as he fucked himself on Brendan's dick and the Irishman drunk down those delectable moans, got intoxicated by them, the vibrations snapping between his synapses and disconnecting the wires in his brain.

'Harder Brendan. Deeper. Fuck!'

Brendan whined against Ste's shoulder, had his head pressed against his bony clavicle, was engulfed by a wet heat, a deep pleasure that he couldn't comprehend.

'I can't get any deeper, let me just...'

He lay down onto his back, the boy still straddling his thighs and rubbing his hips back and forth so the head of Brendan's cock rubbed every inch of his insides. He thrust up into the boy, so hard that it made him yelp out, a wave of ecstasy plundering through his body, his head lolling back and jaw going limp.

'Oh my god! Right there.'

Brendan shut his eyes and thrust again and again, wanted to get lost in the Mancunian's barely bearable heat, wanted to burn with it. He picked up the pace, fucked into him wildly, his balls slapping against Ste's peachy arse. The boy had his fingers curled into Brendan's chest hair, his hard dick pink and plush and flapping. Brendan took hold of it, fisted it, milked it, squeezed around the head and foreskin until the boy silently spunked over his hand and stomach. Brendan fucked him through it, hard and fast and merciless, released his load into latex seconds later, his orgasm rippling through him as he screamed Ste's name, choked out pained sobs.

The boy rolled off him as Brendan started the come down, collapsed next to him, breathless and panting.

'See? I came quietly'

He huffed with a satisfied tone. Brendan smiled, pulled off the condom and discarded it, pumped his dick a little more to get out any remaining cum and then rolled over onto his side so he was facing his lover.

'Well done. I think I prefer it when you're screaming the house down'

Ste gave him a flirtatious wink and shuffled down bed, started lapping at the cum on Brendan's stomach, licking and swallowing. The Irishman raked his fingers through the boy's hair, grumbled incoherently at the slightly rough texture of Ste's tongue on his lower belly.

'You are going to be the death of me. I hope you realize that.'

'You're so gorgeous Bren. I dunno how I resist when we're at school'

He shuffled back up when he'd licked his lover clean of his own spunk, ran his lips up Brendan's toned stomach and chest before greeting him with a kiss. The older man whimpered at the taste of the boy on his tongue, viciously licked out his mouth to try and taste every last drop, wanted to feel it stick and slide down his throat.

Ste reluctantly pulled away, a gleaming smile on his face. He was hot, sweaty, looked ruined as intended. He climbed out of bed and looked for his trousers that had been thrown somewhere in the frantic ripping of clothes. He patted down the pockets, was looking for his phone but it wasn't there. He yanked his bag open and tipped all of his booked out, searched through them manically.

'Bren? Have you seen my phone?'

'What? No. Where did you last have it?

Ste recalled his day, every lesson, every study period, thought bac to the last text he sent and where he was at the time.

'I left it in your class. When you made us all work in groups, I put it on the windowsill.'

Brendan's brows knitted together, his fingers running through his damp hair in confusion.

'That's weird.'

'What is?'

'Well, when I left at 5:00pm, the room was empty'


	15. Sustaining More Than One Loss

Chapter 15

It was break time on a Monday morning and Ste was the first to the canteen. He took a seat and waited for his mates, avoiding eye contact with Ricki and eyeing Brendan up when he got into the Pizza queue. Callum came round the corner and Ste quickly composed him.

'Callum! You seen my phone mate? I left it in English the other day. Now I can't find it'

Callum scowled at him.

'Oh what you mean this?'

He pulled Ste's phone out from his pocket and slammed it on the table.

'You said it was over'

Ste froze, bit on his lip for a split second, and forced himself to relax, trying not to act jittery.

'We are over. I told you that'

'Don't shit me about Ste! I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the box, but you know how good I am with computers'

Ste stood up, leaned over the table and got into Callum's personal space.

'You hacked my phone? Why the hell would you do that!'

Callum raised his voice and grabbed Ste by the collar. He wasn't scared, but he knew Callum had a hell of a punch on him.

'No the question is... Why would you lie to me? Again! Is this what our friendship is based on? You lying to me all the time?'

'What else could I do? You weren't leaving me any choice! Surely I should be the one who gets to decide what goes on in my life!'

Brendan jogged over to them, pushed past the crowd of people that were quickly gathering around and he put his hands on Callum's shoulders, tugged him away, and Callum shrugged out of his grip.

'Don't you touch me! Ever!'

Brendan spoke in a soothing tone, tried to keep his voice down. He knew what this was about and he couldn't risk people hearing.

'No need for that.'

'Yes there is! You dirty pervert!'

The harsh reality hit Brendan like a hammer between the eyes and he hung his head between his shoulders. He was in love with Ste, more than he ever thought he would be. He thought he knew love when he found Vinnie, but the love he had for Ste was far beyond that. Now that Callum knew he was left with no choice. It was his career or his lover.

Xxx

Ste knocked on the door, leant against the wall, and when the door opened he saw Brendan standing with his sleeves rolled up, top buttons of his shirt undone, tie hanging down his neck and he pouted, requesting a kiss, but Brendan stared at the floor and turned to sit on the sofa with no such greeting.

'What's up with you?'

Ste asked and he sat next to Brendan, reached for his cheek but Brendan flinched and moved away.

'No Steven. Did you hear what Callum said to me earlier? He called me a pervert.'

'Well you're not. You know that and so do I'

Ste frowned. The Callum he knew was nothing like that and tomorrow, he was gunna have it out with him.

'I care about you Steven. But I can't do it. Not anymore'

Brendan shook his head, making no such eye contact, the words hurt as they rolled off his tongue.

'You're not gunna...? Seriously! After what he said? I thought you didn't care!'

'I don't... well I do... But my job, my businesses. What if he tells someone?'

Ste stood up, flailed his arms in the air and smacked his own thighs.

'He won't! I'll talk to him.'

Brendan stood as well, went into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

'What if that isn't enough?'

Ste cautiously placed his hands on Brendan's waist and turned him slowly.

'Do you want me?'

Brendan looked up, stared at Ste in the eyes, his gorgeous, beautiful, inviting eyes, shuffled on his feet for a second, trying to let the boy down gently. His head was saying the sensible thing _end it and you won't have to lose your life's work_ but his heart said the opposite _if you end it now, you might not ever get him back. You love this lad. Keep him._ His heart won. When his feelings are this strong, to the point where his chest physically ached for every second they are apart, he couldn't fight it.

'Yeah'

'Then prove it. Prove to me that I'm the one you want'

With that, Ste was swept from his feet, up into Brendan's arms, their lips pressed together and Ste moaned in Brendan's mouth when he was carried to the bedroom.

Xxx

Ste saw Callum walking past the gate, hands in his pocket and he ran after him, placed a hand on his elbow.

'Don't you touch me Ste!'

'Why the hell did you call Brendan a pervert?'

He stopped, looked at Ste in disgust. Ste stared back, nervous and fidgety.

'Brendan? So you're on first name basis now! I can't believe you'

'Don't walk away from me! Are you gunna tell anyone?'

Callum considered for a moment, a frown still across his forehead.

'No. No I'm not. But don't you dare come to me when you get caught and don't you ever talk to me again.'

Callum walked away, slung his head down towards the ground, almost as if he was about to cry because of how betrayed he felt and Ste was glued to the floor. Had that really just happened? He just lost his best friend. The guy he could always rely on. Ste suddenly wanted a time machine, to go back and rewrite everything so he was just honest about it. Callum would have come round eventually. But now, nothing can be done to change what just happened.

Xxx

'What you doing?'

Ste had been searching for Brendan all around his flat, and found him in his bedroom, sat on the edge of the bed.

'Just looking... at some old stuff'

Ste clambered on the bed, put his chin on Brendan's shoulder and his face fell when he saw the picture. It was Brendan and a youngish looking lad, brown hair, a dazzling smile and he was snuggled under Brendan's arm, his hands flat against his torso and they were smiling at each other, so in love.

'Is that Vinnie?'

Brendan sniffed, tried to hide the fact that he was crying, spoke in a low, blocked voice.

'Yup.'

Ste put a hand on Brendan's shoulder, sat cross legged, the other hand on his knee.

'Look. You need to get over it now Brendan. He's gone and nothing is ever...'

'Get over it? That's a nice way to put things'

'No. God I didn't mean it like that'

Brendan shrugged out of his grip.

'What so you think I'm pathetic because I am grieving for someone?'

Ste was shocked at his sudden outburst, and he got defensive, holding his palms in the air, almost like he was surrendering.

'No I didn't say that. I just meant...'

Brendan cut him off, stood up and towered over Ste, his eyes driven with anger, his limbs shaking slightly from the adrenalin rush.

'You don't know anything. You don't understand what it feels like to lose someone.'

Ste snapped, got into Brendan's face, shoved him slightly.

'I don't understand what it's like? I lost my dad for fuck sake! I saw him die right in front of me! How do you think I feel?'

Brendan fought back, got in real close, their noses almost touching.

'You lost him when you were five. Maybe you need to get over that!'

'Yeah well you obviously weren't good enough if Vinnie shot himself!'

Brendan was suddenly delusional and he threw Ste against the wall, grabbed him by the collar, lifting him onto his tiptoes, teeth gritted and his face red with fury.

'Take that back you little shit!'

Ste paused, looked at Brendan in horror. He had never seen this side of him before and for the first time in a while, he felt well and truly scared. Ste laughed and shoved his way out of Brendan's grip.

'You know who you remind me of right now?'

He didn't receive an answer.

'Terry'

Brendan watched as tears welled in Ste's eyes and a wave of guilt shadowed over him. He just hurt the boy he loves, stepped into the shoes of his abuser. He was the one person that Ste could turn to when anything went wrong and now he has pushed the boy away. Ste walked out the room, swiped a tear away before it fell off his chin and Brendan ran after him, his heart thudding in his ears.

'Steven wait!.'

He grabbed him by the wrist as he reached the door.

'I'm sorry. Please don't go.'

'Get your hands off me!'

He furiously yanked his wrist out of Brendan's palm, looked at him with heartbroken, tear filled eyes and he walked out the door. Brendan stood for a second, slammed a fist against the wall. How could he do that? Ste had been nothing but good to him. Good _for_ him in fact and he fucked it up because of some boy from the past. He knew now that Ste came way higher than Vinnie could have ever came. The feelings were ten times stronger and it took him an argument to see that. He ran outside, peered over the wall, yet Ste was nowhere to be seen and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialled his number, now that he had it memorised and waited.

'Come on. Come on. Pick up'

It went straight to voicemail.

_Hi it's Ste, can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you. If I like you of course!_


	16. Making Up The Good Way

Chapter 16

Brendan had his head flat on the desk when his next class came in, and he waved a hand in the air, signalling them to take a seat. He looked about, saw that Ste wasn't in his seat, and Callum glared at him, making him uncomfortable. He cleared his throat, took the register and he got to Ste's name.

'Steven?'

Everyone looked about and Brendan did a double take, looked over at his seat again to make sure he was seeing what he was actually seeing. Ste never missed school. Never. What if something happened to him? What if Terry and John had beaten him until he was in a coma?

'No Steven today?'

His voice was high pitched, croaky and the door suddenly swung open, where Ste stood, his arm halfway up the door frame.

'Don't you worry my darlings! Steven Hay has entered the building!'

He shouted in to the classroom and stumbled in, tripping over someone's bag as he walked towards his table.

'Woops. Sorry about that one love, I'll pay for any damages'

He slurred and everyone watched him and Brendan was in a state of horror as he fell to the floor and smacked the table.

'Woah! Don't worry guys! I'm alright!'

He clambered to his feet, using the table for support and slumped in his chair, his head swaying side to side and he burped and giggled.

'Ooops! Manners! Pardon me Sir! Wouldn't wana be a burden and all that!'

Brendan stood, placed his palms flat on the table.

'Steven. Outside. Now'

'Aww but sir! The door is all the way over there! It was a proper mission getting from there... to here.'

'Get out!'

He pointed to the door, stared at his desk, feeling humiliated.

Xxx

Brendan stepped outside after setting the other pupils work, and he found Ste leaning against the wall, almost tipping to the floor and Brendan's reflexes kicked in and he tried to catch him.

'Woah woah woah. What do you think you're doing? Get off me'

Ste shoved Brendan's hands off of him.

'What the hell is wrong with you?'

'Nothing!'

He suddenly caught the sharp, strong scent of alcohol.

'Are you drunk?!'

Ste waved his hands in the air, dismissing Brendan's accusation.

'So what if I am? What's it to you!'

'Right we need to get you home'

He grabbed Ste around the waist, led him to reception where Laura sat and she straightened herself out, flicking her hair to perfection and rubbing in her lipstick when she saw Brendan come round the corner.

'Hey Laura. Young Steven here isn't doing too well, so I need to take him home okay? Will you cover for me?'

'Why can't his mum pick him up?'

Brendan thought quickly on his feet.

'She isn't very well either. He told me yesterday and I think he has come down with the same thing.'

'Oh right. Yeah of course I'll cover for you. Anything for you Mr Brady'

She gave him a cheeky wink and he returned it, hurrying out of reception towards his parked car. Ste had passed out by the time they got there and he lay him in the back and drove to his house.

Xxx

Ste opened his eyes slowly, the light from outside burning and blinding. He lay flat on his back, staring at the white ceiling and for a second he thought he was dead. He turned his head, his brain aching to the point where every movement made him feel like his head would explode.

'Jesus'

He croaked and he sat up slowly, his stomach churning and he scanned the room, noticing the familiar surroundings of Brendan's flat.

'Evening'

Brendan sat on the arm of the sofa and handed Ste some water. He was hesitant at taking it, but did so anyway as his mouth was dry and he felt dehydrated.

'What happened?'

'Well, you turned up to my lesson smashed off your face, and then I had to lie to Laura saying I was going to take you home, but I bought you here and you've been unconscious for about... 4 hours now'

Ste rested his head in his palms and groaned as his stomach churned.

'So, why get drunk and turn up to my class absolutely hammered?'

Ste flicked his eyes in Brendan's general direction, slurped down some water, barely able to swallow it and he grimaced as he felt it hit the acid in his stomach.

'I was... angry. So I stole some of Terry's vodka and got pissed. Why do you care anyway?'

Brendan sat next to him, attempted to rest an arm around him but Ste flinched and moved away.

'Steven... look. I'm so sorry for what happened the other day. I've had trouble with my temper in the past and I didn't mean to lash out'

'Well you should know that I never meant it like that. I just wanted to say, that if you keep looking back, you're never gunna move forward'

'But I have moved forward. I found you haven't I?'

Ste's heart melted, and he allowed the physical contact that Brendan was craving, moving his face towards Brendan's palm. A single finger was stroked down his cheek and he leaned in, capturing Brendan's lips, sliding his tongue into his mouth and Brendan pulled away.

'Jesus. I can taste that vodka on you'

Ste's stomach flipped and he began to salivate and he felt bile rise at the back of his throat.

'Oh dear god.'

He ran to the skink and violently threw up, throwing his head forward as he gagged, the muscles in his back clenching tightly and he could barely breathe. He felt Brendan's hand slide up and down his back, tapping gently between his shoulders.

'Go away Bren. I don't want you to see this'

He threw up again, coughing afterwards and spitting into the sink.

'I ain't going anywhere. I have never known anyone who is prone to such idiocy'

Ste turned.

'What does that mean?'

'It means you're an idiot'

'Oh. Right yeah. Sorry. Hung over here'

Brendan giggled and continued to rub Ste's back as he vomited some more.

'So what did you do for the past four hours while I was out?'

'Well, I talked to Laura on the phone and asked how it was covering for me and then she stated how much she hated Street Car Named Desire. With a passion apparently'

Xxx

Brendan didn't let Ste go home that night. He wanted to make sure everything was okay between them, and to make sure that he didn't choke during the night on his own vomit. He didn't sleep. Refused to in fact, and he watched in fascination, the light yet strong pulse in Ste's neck, how he twitched every so often, how he was silent when he slept. He had forced a load of water down Ste's throat before sending him to bed and he was pretty sure that Ste had thrown up most of the alcohol, plus he had the whole weekend to try and sober up.

Xxx

Ste was conscious, but not ready to open his eyes yet and he felt Brendan's body heat radiating onto him. When he did open his eyes, he saw Brendan's chest and he leaned forward, kissing a nipple and saw how blood shot his eyes were.

'Morning gorgeous'

He said, in a low croaky, exhausted tone.

'What happened to you Bren? You look like crap'

Brendan giggled and kissed Ste's forehead.

'Funny. You should write anecdotes.'

'What's that?'

Brendan sighed, and he spoke almost monotone, as if he had said it a million times before.

'It's a short yet humorous story. I think I need to teach you some more terminology.'

'Or you could teach me something else?'

He looked down at Ste and was greeted by a mischievous, seductive look and he climbed on top of him, parting his legs with his knees and lay on him, groin to groin.

'Well. What do you want to learn?'

'I wanna give back'

Brendan looked at him, confused.

'What?'

'Well you know what you do to me? I wana do that to you'

He continued to stare, until it twigged.

'Wait. You want me... to let you... fuck me?'

He received nothing but a gleaming smile and a nod. He had only ever done that once, and that was when he was with Vinnie, needless to say he hated it.

'Steven, no. It's not my kinda thing.'

His face fell in disappointment.

'Well have you tried it?'

'Yeah. With Vinnie and I hated it'

Ste questioned it in his head, tried to think of ways to persuade him.

'Teach me how to do it in the way you like it. You never know unless you try'

Brendan lay motionless for a second, thought about it. Maybe this would feel good? After all it was with Steven and he was a bit bigger than Vinnie. He would probably hit the spot.

'Okay. Fine. Get ready. I'm gunna make a man of you kid.'

Ste smiled, pulled Brendan's neck and took over his lips, opening his mouth when Brendan's tongue insisted it.

'First you all, you have to have me...begging for it'

Ste didn't reply, instead he flipped Brendan over, bit his bottom lip and started tugging at his earlobes with his teeth, biting the sensitive part of his neck, while he scratched down his warm body, until he reached Brendan's semi hard cock. He took it in one hand and slowly began to pump up and down, smothering the oozed pre-cum, grinding his hips, moaning in his ear and Brendan ran his hands behind Ste's thighs, squeezed them and cupped his bum cheeks, giving them a slap and Ste trailed the hairs on Brendan's chest and stomach with his lips, kissing every inch of him, and he took him in his mouth, slowly sucking and licking, his hand at the base, cupping and rolling Brendan's balls in his palm.

'Stop a sec. Bite my legs. Oh my god'

Brendan whimpered his request and Ste obliged, nibbling at the flesh and then taking a huge, firm bite before kissing, sucking and licking that area, before returning to sucking him off. Fingers were tangled in his hair, pushing his head down in the rhythm of hips thrusts. His head was suddenly pulled away and yanked up into a kiss.

'Fuck me boy'

He whispered heavily, so incredibly desperate.

'Are you sure? We don't have to do anything you don't wana do.'

'Please. I need it'

Ste pulled Brendan's legs apart, went down on him again and pressed his tongue to his twitching entry, making Brendan gasp and groan and the unusual yet recognisable sensation. They were lubed up, ready to go and Ste towered over him, pressing his lips to his forehead.

'You sure you're ready for this?'

'Just shut up and fuck me till I can't see boy.'

He exhaled deeply, puffing out his cheeks and he pressed the head of his cock to Brendan hole, slowly penetrating him, and Ste's head began to spin at the tightness and the warmth and Brendan became slightly limp and weak, clinging onto the back of Ste's head, pulling him into the crook of his neck where Ste continued to sink his teeth into him. He hooked his ankles around Ste's torso, taking and embracing the role of the weaker force.

'Harder Steven. Harder'

He gasped in Ste's ear, and he thrust his hips hard, stretching him even more, and Brendan yelped in pleasure as Ste firmly hit the sensitive nerve ending within him, his pelvic muscles beginning to tingle.

'Looks like I've found it.'

They giggled in unison, Brendan was slightly more breathless and he buried his head in Ste's neck, and Ste hit home with every hip rotation and he took it upon himself to toss Brendan off simultaneously, pumping him furiously, until he was clawing into Ste's back, screaming as his prostate began to burn and cum spilled everywhere. They were both breathless and trembling, collapsing in an unusual embrace, and Brendan fell asleep, his face on Ste's shoulder.

Xxx

It was Brendan who woke up to the sound of light knocking at the door, and as he climbed out of bed, Ste stirred, opened his eyes, his voice sleepy and crackly.

'You okay?'

Brendan whispered his reply, low and soothing.

'Yeah. Someone's knocking. It's probably Chez. Knowing her she forgot her keys.'

He went to the door, half naked, opened it and was stunned when Laura bounced in.

'Hey Brendan, so I bought all of these papers back from your class that I covered. I thought you'd like to mark them.'

She paused when she realised that Brendan was hardly wearing any clothes, eyeing him up and down, running her tongue over her teeth and he tried to cover himself up, grabbing anything in sight.

'Wow. Mr Brady. You must keep in very good shape'

At that moment, Ste turned the corner, wearing nothing but boxers, rubbing his eyes while saying;

'Bren? You coming back to bed?'

He too froze on the spot and Laura's jaw dropped, as did the papers that she held in her hand.


	17. Summer Holidays

Chapter 17

'Oh my!'

Laura gasped at Ste's partial nudity, and Brendan's eyes widened in shock. She didn't move, neither did Ste, neither did Brendan.

'Ste? What the hell are you...Oh my! You two are...'

'Laura, I can explain'

Brendan said slowly and he reached out a hand warily to try and touch her but before he could she turned, mouth still wide open and she slapped Brendan across the face and exited, the sound of her heels clinking against the ground fading slowly.

'Brendan. What do we do?'

Ste said in panic yet Brendan was in a state of paralysis.

'I don't know.'

Xxx

Brendan went in to the staff room awkwardly on Monday, trying not to make eye contact with Laura, which was hard seeing as he could physically feel her staring at him, like knives to his back. He quickly grabbed a coffee and went to his empty class, setting up his daily lesson plans and Laura waltzed in casually, sat on the table closest to the front. Brendan felt pressured into breaking the silence.

'Look Laura. About yesterday I...'

She cut him off.

'Shh! You don't need to say anything. I understand'

He frowned at her, rubbing the back of his neck and adjusting his collar.

'What do you mean?'

'I knew you were gay from the beginning, and the reason why I have been so nice to you is because... Well, I feel... attracted? No. Umm... Like... I don't know how to put it'

'Are you going to tell anyone?'

She looked at him as if he was stupid but he didn't know with some people. He knew Laura had a bit of a thing for him but he thought she understood that he wasn't going to magically turn straight.

'No. Course not. I can see how much you care about him, and I suppose, in a way, I want every gay man to be like you'

Brendan's frown grew bigger.

'What are you talking about?'

'My husband.'

She struggled to talk, stuttering, falling over her words, her eyes filled with conflicting emotions.

'I've never told anyone this before but when I was young, I married the man of my dreams. I loved him with every inch of my soul. He was the love of my life, but one day, I came home early from my course and found him kissing another man. Needless to say I flipped out, cursing at him, calling him a disgrace, shouting all sorts of homophobic things towards him. I stormed out, crying my heart out and when I came home later that evening to try and sort things out with him, he was swinging from the ceiling. My poor boy had... hung himself'

She began to cry, small, delicate tears running down her cheek. Brendan twigged it.

'That's why you hate Street Car Named Desire. It reminds you of that time. You're Blanche and your husband is Alan. Of course'

She nodded, lightly sniffing, wiping her nose with the cuff of her cardigan.

'When I saw his pale, lifeless body, I swore that I would never be that horrid person again. Love is love and I support it no matter who it is between and that includes you and young Ste'

Brendan stood, swept her up into a hug. He understood everything now, and he and Laura had a strange kind of friendship. She fancied the pants off of him but he loved her in a way. She reminded him of Cheryl. She was so young and always saw the good in people.

'Thank you so much Laura. You're a diamond. What would I do without you eh?'

She smiled back and tapped his chest with her small and delicate palm.

'He loves you, you know?'

Xxx

It was the last day of term until the Summer Holidays and the bell finally rang in which everyone screamed, threw their books into the air and ran out of class.

Ste stood by the gate, watched everyone hug their best friends, crying because they thought they'd lose touch over the 6 week holiday, saw couples kissing, so in love and it made him feel left out. He had this hunk at home that nobody knew about and he wanted to go public, show everyone that he had Brendan Brady on his arm. That was it for Ste. Tonight he is going to tell him that he loved him.

Xxx

Ste walked through the door and was unsurprisingly met by Uncle John and Terry.

'Hey there you little faggot! How ya doing?!'

They pinned him against the wall, grabbed his cheeks like you do with a baby and Terry got in real close, the stench of alcohol strong on his breath and it made Ste wretch, especially seeing as he still felt dodgy from his binge drinking.

'Now. I need to ask you something. I had a whole bottle of Vodka on top of the fridge over there. And now, as you can see, it's gone. Where did you put it?'

Ste spoke through his crushed lips.

'Nowhere. Why would I want it?'

John slapped him across the face.

'Liar! Tell your dad where it is'

Dad? Dad?! Terry was no fucking father of his!

'He is not my dad!'

John punched him in the ribs, while Terry's fist came into contact with his eye socket, the loud noise of bone on bone, and his face began to pulse and swell.

'You can buy me another one you little thief'

They threw him to the floor and he scrambled to his feet, clutching his ribs, whimpering as they began to bruise and he stumbled out the door towards Brendan's house.

He knocked and waited, and Brendan's face fell when he saw Ste in that state again.

'In. Sit'

Ste sat on the sofa, relieved that he was now back in Brendan's arms. He slapped a bag of frozen peas against his eyes, the bruise starting to burn slightly, but he could feel the swelling reduce.

'Are you okay? Come here'

Brendan pulled him into a hug, stroking his fingers through his hair, looking into his swollen eyes, seeing the plea and the cry for help.

'Why do you let them do this to you Steven?'

Ste snorted.

'What am I supposed to do? Hit them back?'

'Yes!'

'No Brendan. They'll beat me senseless.'

Brendan slapped his own thigh in frustration, exhaling loudly.

'Stand up for yourself and what you believe in god damn it! You're a strong kid and I know you can do it.'

'I've tried. It doesn't do anything.'

'Well try again! It's not like you to just give up'

Ste got irritated. How could he fight off Terry, Uncle John and Pauline all at the same time? He was inferior and he knew it. There was nothing he could do and he suddenly snapped.

'I can't Brendan okay! I am not and never will be superior!'

'Hey don't go getting mad at me because you can't defend yourself'

Now Ste was really irritated, fuming in fact and he stood up, ignoring the excruciating pain in his ribs.

'Defend myself?! Are you serious! Have you seen John? Have you seen Terry? They could kill me with a single punch! You're such a hypocrite! You don't exactly help do you? You just sit there and say _Oh Steven go and defend yourself you little pussy'_

Brendan got defensive, rising to his feet, snatching the frozen peas and slamming them on the table.

'This is your fight Steven! Not mine!'

'Yeah well... you're meant to be helping me! I thought I could confide in you whenever I wanted! Obviously not!'

Their voices were raised, full blown shouting.

'Yes confide! Not ask me to beat the crap outta someone!'

'You're supposed to help me fight back! Not sit on the sidelines!'

Brendan walked towards the door, punched it several times.

'Oh right! Go punch the door because that makes you some sort of hard man!'

'Steven just shut the fuck up!'

He launched himself at Ste, pinned him to the wall, his knuckles turning white from where he was holding Ste's jacket so tightly.

'You're such a whiny little fucker! I can't be dealing with your complaining anymore! We're over!'

Ste suddenly felt like his heart had been ripped out his chest, and ran over by a train. Those are the words he feared most, more than an odd hit from Terry. He felt tears well up in his eyes. He whimpered his response.

'What?'

Brendan suddenly realised what he just did. It was completely spur of the moment and he didn't mean it! Of course not. He was angry and he let go of him, straightened him out and lowered his voice, tears forming in his own eyes because of what he had just done. He broke his promise.

'Hey no. I'm sorry. I...'

Ste burst into tears, the pain in his ribs adding to the emotion and he ran to the door, an arm wrapped around his torso.

'I can't believe you said that. I only came round here to tell you that... that I love you'


	18. Got To Fight Back

Chapter 18

_I love you_

Three words that Brendan has been dying to hear. He remembers the first time Vinnie said that to him. He couldn't say it back, every time he tried he just choked, but now he was ready. It felt so right to be able to tell Ste he loved him. It was like Ste was the only thing holding him to the Earth, not gravity, like Ste was holding him together. Ste was his life now.

Brendan took a step forward, whispered.

'I love you too.'

He reached out a hand to touch Ste's face, but felt nothing. Just a breeze of the slight wind from outside, cool against his palm. That's when he came back to earth, realised that Ste had already left, and he was merely reaching out into thin air. He scrambled his phone out of his pocket, sending texts, trying to call him, whatever he could to make the boy come back and tell him that he feels the same. Voicemail.

_Hi it's Ste. Can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you. If I like you of course!_

Again and again and again. Voicemail after voicemail.

Xxx

Ste lay in bed, hugging his pillow, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down his face, so much so that he couldn't breathe properly and he was having to take sharp intakes of breath, to physically try and stop his heart from bursting out of his chest. His phone lit up and he peered at the screen, rubbing his eyes, trying to swipe away the tears but it was no use.

_8 New Voicemails_

_14 New messages Recipient- Brendan_

He tried to pull himself together, selected the Voicemail option.

_Hey Steven it's me, please... come back. I'm sorry just... Call me_

_Steven please. I didn't mean to lash out. I know I said that I would never do that again but I said that I have problems with my anger. Forgive me_

_It's me again. I'm so sorry, let me explain. I'll never hurt you like that again. I promise._

I promise. Two words that have come out of Brendan's mouth many times

_Steven... Is that how you really feel? You love me? Well, I need to tell you that... I love you too_

Ste burst into more tears, threw his phone against the wall. Brendan didn't love him. Not after what he has done and what he's said. How is that love? No. Brendan ended it with him and he wasn't going to be called back just like that. He wasn't going to let his emotions get the better of him. Who did he think he was? Something that could be cast away and hauled back whenever he wanted?

Xxx

Ste woke up the next day on a damp pillow, still soaked by his tears and his chest ached. He yearned to be next to Brendan. To be able to rub a hand down his naked chest, kiss his gorgeous neck and be greeted by his stunning blue eyes. He shook the memories out of his mind, determined not to cry again and he saw his phone lying on the floor. He picked it up, placing the battery back in, turning it on and wiping the screen of his fingerprints from where he was stroking Brendan's face in the pictures he took in London.

_28 New Voicemails_

_19 New Messages Recipient- Brendan._

He didn't bother reading them, he simply rejected them, deleted them without listening or reading. It was the start of the Summer holidays and the guy he was in love with had dumped him. So much for a great start.

Xxx

Brendan slumped on the sofa, slugging back some good old Irish whiskey and Cheryl came bounding through the door, stopping in the tracks when she layed her eyes on Brendan.

'My god love! What happened?'

'Steven. That's what's happened'

He slurred, falling off the sofa as he reached for the whiskey to refill his glass.

'What happened?'

She repeated and perched on the arm of the chair, dropping all of her bags.

'We had an argument last night. I lost my temper and went for him, screamed in his face that we're over. I didn't mean it, you know what I'm like with my temper. But now he won't pick up.'

'Oh Brendan. He's such a good lad...'

'I know that Chez! He told me that he loved me last night'

She raised a hand to cover her mouth, gasping in shock, the other hand tracing Brendan's shoulder as he shoved back another whiskey, the cool burn trailing a path as it went down his throat.

'What did you say?'

'Nothing. I watched him leave with tears streaming down his face'

She slapped him on the chest.

'Jesus Christ Brendan! You love him! I can see it in your eyes and he loves you.'

'No! He only thinks he loves me'

'Get out there now! Go find him and tell him how you feel'

Xxx

Ste went to the shops, felt the need to comfort eat, binge out on chocolate and sweets. He had no one else. Therefore he had nothing to lose. He took a fiver from the stash of money he had under his bed, the money he earned as a kid and any scrap of cash he earned last Summer. He ran in and out and was on his way home with a carrier bag filled with Maltesers, Mars Bars, Twix, you name it.

'Steven!'

He turned to see Brendan running towards him. Just seeing him again made him want to burst into tears and he continued walking, swiping a finger over his eyes to check he wasn't crying, because the amount of crying he did last night, it still felt like there was moisture trailing down his face.

'Wait. Please wait'

Brendan blocked his path, put his hands on Ste's shoulders.

'I have nothing to say to you'

He tried to barge past, butting Brendan with his shoulder but he was caught by the wrist.

'No please. Hear me out. I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to lash out. It was a complete spur of the moment and I definitely didn't mean what I said about... us being over'

'I've heard _sorry_ so many times now. I'm sick of it. If you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have even thought about saying it.'

'Steven. What you said about loving me... I... I love you too.'

Ste stared at him, gobsmacked. He'd wanted to hear that for such a long time, but he wasn't going to be won over by simple words. His actions say different.

'You're a liar. You were about to beat the crap outta me yesterday. I thought you were different, but you're just like them aren't you? Just like Terry and John'

This time Brendan let Ste out of his grip, his words hitting hard. Ste thought that he was like his abusers. A monster. He loved Ste with all of his heart and he didn't want to come to terms with the fact that it might be time to let him go. The thought of that scared him to death and he wasn't the type of guy to let things slip away. He was going to fight for Ste and he had a plan.

Xxx

The first few weeks of the holidays were incredibly depressing for Ste. He woke up, dreading what the day wouldbring, whether that be texts off Brendan or a punch in the face from Terry. He had no Brendan, no Callum, and no family really. He had no one. He would spend the day crying in his room, flicking back through old pictures, or he'd comfort eat and not put on any weight, thankfully, or he'd take mile long walks and sit in parks for hours, getting drunk with random strangers. There was no doubt that Ste's life was going South and he didn't care, he had nothing to lose so what was the point in trying to impress his parents when everything he did disappointed them? What was the point in loving someone when they're no different to anyone else? What was the point in trying to win back his best friend when he hated him for his betrayal?

Xxx

It was coming to the end of the fourth week of Summer and Ste decided that enough was enough. He hadn't heard from Brendan, which in a way relieved him, because he didn't think he'd be able to cope if he received a text. He went out of the house, took some money and went to the hairdressers. It was time for a change, and he got short back and sides, with a slightly longer fringe that quaffed perfectly if styled correctly. It was coming up to a new term and a new academic year. Brendan would be gone by then, as Miss Hartigan should be back from her operation and things were going to be different. He came out of the hairdressers and ruffled up his new hair, quickly styled it in the reflection of the glass and he headed home, turning the corner and accidently bumping into someone.

'Oh shit! I'm sorry. Are you okay?'

The man turned and he was quite a hotty. Light brown, longish hair that tucked behind his ears, a long face with good bone structure and a body that looks like it could have some nice muscles underneath it. He smiled and put an arm on Ste's elbow.

'No worries. Yeah I'm fine. You should look where you're going umm-'

'Ste'

He held out a hand, and Ste took it, his grip quite firm but it contrasted with Ste's delicate hand.

'Ste. That's a nice name. Nice hair. You've just got that done haven't you?'

'Yeah. Umm. Fancied a change'

He swiped a hand round the back of his neck, nervous at how this guy made him feel. He was intimidated yet entranced. He eyed him up and down quickly, looking at his crotch a bit longer than necessary and the bloke snapped his fingers in front of Ste's face and whistled.

'I'm up here'

He chuckled and Ste awkwardly laughed with him.

'Sorry, I just...'

'Checking me out? Don't worry. I get that a lot, but you're cute so I'll let you get away with it.'

He shot him a cheeky wink and put a hand on Ste's waist and walked around him, getting in quite close and Ste inhaled his many aftershave, making his heart skip.

'I'll catch you later mate.'

'Wait! I didn't catch your name?'

He stopped, shot him a smirk and flicked his hair slightly.

'Name's Simon. Simon Walker'


	19. Trying To Force Love

_**Hiya guys! Just wanted to say Thank you to all you lovely people out there who choose to read my fic and are constantly reviewing saying how good it is. It means the world. I'll try and bang out as many chapters as possible throughout the next couple of weeks as I am going in for an operation soon and won't be able to update for a while. But keep reading and keep reviewing! Thank you again guys! :D Alys x**_

Chapter 19

Ste left the house the next day, his new hair styled to perfection. He didn't even know what he was going to do, but he just wanted to get away from the binge drinking that was taking place inside his house. He went to the bank first, merely curious as to how much money was in there. He hadn't checked his balance in years, not since his mum had hidden his bank card from him 8 years ago, yet somehow he had stumbled across it, found it buried deep inside her wardrobe with all of his dads old thing. He inserted the card and entered the pin, coincidently his dad's birthday.

_On Screen Balance: £96,290_

His jaw dropped. He had... how much?! He ran into the bank, pushed in the queue subtly.

'Can I help?'

'Yeah, Um... Is this card right?'

She entered the card details, flicked her eyes up towards Ste then back at the computer screen.

'Yes you have £96,290 in your current account'

'Sorry. Can you tell me how that got there?'

She flicked through all of the old records to the time when a large sum of money was injected.

'Well, thirteen years ago, a large sum of £70,000 was inserted into this account. You are eighteen now, so this would have been when you were five years of age. It also says here that this cash is labelled as an inheritance from a male called Jason Hay. It was a limited account, meaning you couldn't access the money until you turned eighteen.'

Ste was gobsmacked. His dad left him his money? £70,000?! That's why his mum hid his bank card. She obviously didn't know the pin otherwise she'd be rolling in that money, buying a lifetime supply of alcohol. Ste gulped, a lump rising in his throat and his voice broke when he tried to speak.

'Okay. Thank you'

He trudged out of the bank, staring at his old, dusty card and he heard a familiar voice behind him.

'Well Ste! We can't keep meeting like this'

Ste turned and was greeted with a dazzling smile.

'Simon. Nice to see you again'

'Please call me Walker. It's a sort of nickname.'

Xxx

Ste and Walker hung out almost every day after that, and they got along really well. Ste finally thought that he was starting to get over Brendan. His heart wasn't hurting so much anymore and he felt like he finally had a friend. Walker would bring out his martial arts moves and he'd practise every so often with Ste, flipping him over multiple times.

'I am never gunna get good at this!'

Ste screamed in laughter after being slammed to the floor for the 8th or 9th time. Walker held a hand out and hoisted him up.

'You'll get better! I promise!'

They got back into position and Ste went in for the grip, yet Walker grabbed his wrist, using Ste's strength against him and he threw him towards the floor again, but Ste didn't let go and Walker came tumbling down on top of him. Ste howled in laughter and Walker stared him down, boring into him with such force and he swooped down for the kiss, catching Ste's lips. Ste did nothing at first, he was too shocked to do anything, but he felt the warmth of Walker's lips against his, how he was kissing him gently, and how his hands were delicately placed on his bony hips. Then Ste kissed him back after his hesitation, touching a hand to Walkers cheek and a pair of hands started to slide in Ste's trousers, making him flinch and pull away.

'Stop'

'What's wrong?'

'I... I'm not the kind of person who just jumps into bed with someone'

He stared at him, almost as if Ste was a bit 'old school' for him, but he raised his eyebrows understandingly.

'I get it. You want to take thinks slow. That's cool'

He shot a smile, but in reality, Ste wasn't ready. Having someone else kiss him, only made him realise how much he missed having Brendan's lips on his own, having his weight upon him, his delicate yet firm hold and the moaning inside each other's mouths. Walker climbed off of him, stood up and Ste stood with him.

'Come to me when you're ready. I'm pretty sure you'll start finding it hard after a week or two.'

He got in close, placed a hand on Ste's face, stroked a thumb down his cheek.

'Ste don't worry. I won't force you.'

'No I know you won't. I trust you it's just...I'm just... a bit... I dunno'

'Still trying get over someone?'

He looked at Ste knowingly and in a way Ste felt relieved that Walker had him figured out.

'Yeah. But thank you for being so understanding'

'It's alright. Anything for you gorgeous'

He gave Ste another peck on the lips, shot a glance at the clock and nodded, signalling his leave.

Xxx

It was the first day back at school and Ste was feeling good. It was a new him and a new year and things were going to be different. He was sort of 'seeing' Walker, he had money that he never knew about, new hair and he had passed all of his AS exams.

He walked through the gate and collected his new time table as he walked in to tutor and noticed he had double English first. He had read the books that were required, he'd been practising his spellings, staying cooped up in his room for hours on end, rehearsing over and over again.

The first bell went and he waited outside of English, catching site of Callum and cracking a small smile, yet he gained nothing in return. They were still on bad terms then. He walked in, glanced towards the front and his heart sank when he saw Brendan sat at the desk, feet on the table and hands folded across his stomach. Brendan watched everyone enter, stared at Ste for more time than necessary, his heart breaking. He analysed him, noticed how Ste had put on a little bit of weight, his sexy new haircut and his skin had gotten darker over the summer, more richness in the golden skin tone.

'Morning everyone. Welcome back, hope you all had a good holiday. Unfortunately Miss Hartigan isn't able to return as she has had to go back in for another operation due to some complications. I don't know how long she will be away but you'll still have me for that period of time'

Ste sunk his head lower into the desk. Seeing him again made his heart flutter and all of the old emotions returned. He was still majorly in love with him. How could he even try to deny that?

Xxx

The bell rang, and Ste felt strong enough to try and confront his feelings and confront Brendan. He stood in front of Brendan at his desk, glared at him, his heart thumping in his ears.

'Steven. I must say I was very impressed with your grade. An A, that's wonderful. Well done.'

He stroked a hand down the back of Ste's thigh and he suddenly became all nervous, a lump growing in his throat and he tried to gulp it down, shuffling on his feet slightly.

'Don't touch me.'

He stepped back and Brendan smirked, stretched his fingers and lightly thumped the desk. He knew he was getting to him, he felt the shudder underneath his palm. Brendan knew he still cared.

'You're hair looks nice. Really nice. Sexy'

'Yeah I know. That's not all that's new this year.'

Brendan looked at him in confusion, eyed him up and down quickly.

'I'm letting you know that I'm seeing someone else. So drop all of this flirtation yeah? You ended it. I've moved on'

Ste stormed out of the class, slamming the door and Brendan thought he was going to be sick. He hung his head between his legs and struggled to breathe. His boy was already seeing someone else? This can't be happening. Not now. Not ever. He clung to his heart for a second, holding it inside his chest and he tried to control his manic breathing.

Xxx

Ste hurried out of his last class, down the corridor towards the fire exit, yet he was pulled into a classroom and he nearly fell flat on his face.

'Tell me it's not true Steven please'

'What the hell are you doing Brendan? Get out the way.'

He tried to push his way through, but Brendan pinned him against the wall. Not in an aggressive way, but he was desperate for answers, tears welling up in his eyes, his heart breaking at the thought of someone else having their hands on him.

'Please say you're not actually seeing anyone else. Please'

Ste was stern and stubborn, determined not to let a few crocodile tears make him feel guilty.

'Yeah I am and to be quite honest it has nothing to do with you'

Brendan forced himself upon him, pressing their lips together and for a moment Ste kissed him back, opened his mouth, allowing Brendan to lick inside, connect their tongues and his heart was telling him this was right, and this is where he belongs; In Brendan's arms, but he grunted and pushed Brendan off of him.

'What the hell are you doing?!'

He went in for another kiss, but Ste turned his head, avoiding him.

'No Steven, you want me. I felt you kiss me back'

'I am with someone else now okay! Get it into your head!'

Xxx

Ste fell flat onto the bed, and Walker crawled up his body, kissing him through the material of his t-shirt and Ste tangled his fingers through his hair, going in for another kiss, and Walker, curled a hand underneath Ste's shirt, touching his warm hand to his skin, running his fingers over the individual bones of his ribcage.

'Are you sure you're ready for this Ste?'

'Yeah course I am'

He wasn't. Of course he wasn't, but that kiss from Brendan earlier made him melt and he needed to take his mind off of it somehow. How else was he going to do that? His only option was to sleep with Walker and in a way he wanted it. He wanted to try something and someone new.

Walker stripped him of his shirt, kissing a wet path down the indent of his chest and abs, licking at the waistband of his boxers, and he peered up at Ste, giving him a questioning look and Ste nodded his response, to which Walker unbuttoned him, threw his trousers off of him and chucked them to the side, muzzling at Ste's boxers and lightly nipping through the material and Ste tried not to imagine that it was Brendan doing that to him. That was the only reason why his cock was standing on end. Walker pulled down his boxers, and licked the sensitive head of Ste's cock, the slightly rough texture of his tongue adding to the pleasure. He took him whole, all the way to the base, deep throating him and Ste threw his head back into the pillow. There was denying that Walker was good at this, and he sucked and slurped him down, taking his balls into his palm, rolling them about, grabbing and pulling.

'On your knees' His voice was deep, dark and husky.

Ste obliged, and Walker kissed the corner of his mouth before unzipping himself, relieving his cock from the tight friction of his trousers, and he rolled on a condom, squirted lube over himself and lined himself up, ready to hit home. He plunged in deep, and Ste was in pain, crying out, to which Walker thought was pleasure. Walker was too rough, Ste was unprepared. He couldn't help but think how Brendan would finger him, stretch him first, let him get used to it and then take it slow, but Walker wasn't like that. This was purely for his own sexual satisfaction. After a while, the burning sensation began to calm down, yet Walker continued to slam against him, right in deep and there was no doubt that the hit of Ste's prostate was incredibly pleasurable. Ste had to touch himself, something he felt unusual as Brendan would always be the one to jerk him off as well as fucking him, but the orgasm was still incredible, his pelvic muscles burning and tingling, and he was worn out, causing him to collapse into the mattress and Walker lay on top of him, kissing the side of his face.

'That was amazing'

Ste chuckled, turned to face him and the inviting glimmer in Walker's eyes made him melt a bit. What if he was falling for him? After all he was good to Ste, made him laugh, was a bit rough in bed but it was something they could work on and it was only the first time.

His train of thought was disturbed by a knock on the front door, and he clambered out of his bed, threw his boxers on and a t-shirt, gave a cheeky wink in Walker's direction and left the room. Thankfully his parents weren't in. Something about a 'piss up in the city' or something. He opened the door and his jaw hit the floor.

'Amy?'

'Hey stranger'

Amy was a gorgeous girl that Ste went out with a couple of years back. The first time he slept with her, he knew something was wrong, and he had to break her heart, but she was like a best friend to him. She also knew about what Terry and Pauline did to him and she had tried to defend him on several occasions. Ste looked at the young boy she held in her arms. Light blonde hair, dazzling blue eyes and dimples in his cheeks. And of course little Leah stood behind her. He had grown quite attached to her, and he helped Amy out with her when she was first born. She was 15 when Leah was bought onto the scene and as any other typical guy, the father wanted nothing to do with his own child.

'What are you doing here? And who is this little fella?!'

He reached out a hand and stroked the boys face, and the toddler took hold of Ste's finger and rested his head against it, pressing his young, fresh lips against his knuckles.

'Ste, there is no easy way for me to say this but... He is your son'


	20. Two Ends Collide

Chapter 20

'He's my what?'

Amy sat down, keeping hold of the boy and clutching Leah's hand.

'I know it's hard to believe. But remember when we... you know... did it? Well... That was a month before we finished Year 11 and I never saw you after that. I didn't know that I was pregnant until a few months in'

Ste ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief. He was 18 and had a kid?!

'I am not trying to pin him on you, but I have two kids and I am really struggling'

He was still silent, thinking things through. He had had such an amazing dad, a good man and when he died, everything was taken away from him. He didn't want to have these poor kids grow up without a father. He wanted them to have the life that he used to have when he was a kid.

'Amy, look. Are you sure he is mine?

'Yes I'm sure! I have only slept with two people. Billy and you.'

'I'm at school though. Doing A-Levels, I can't just drop out.'

'You don't need to. I have a little job at the moment and if you could just find a weekend thing then we can raise them together'

Ste exhaled, paced back and forth and then stopped in the middle of the room.

'Okay. I'll help you as much as I can. He is my son and I can't reject him. Every kid deserves to have a father.'

Amy stood, placed the boy on the sofa and threw her arms around Ste, kissing his cheek.

'Thank you so much!'

Walker suddenly turned the corner, just in his boxers and halted when he saw the two kids.

'Who the hell is he?'

Amy's jaw hit the floor.

'Oh... Amy there is something else... I'm gay'

Xxx

Amy took a little time to adjust, but she accepted it and Ste got to see his little boy all the time. Lucas was his name and he fell in love with him straight away and he had grown attached to Leah again and he treated her no different. One day, when Pauline, Terry and John we out on the piss, Amy came round, bought the kids over and Leah's little face lit up.

'Daddy!'

He froze for a second but took it in his stride. Even if he wasn't Leah's real dad, he certainly wasn't going to let her grow up without a fatherly figure, and he loved her to bits.

Xxx

It was a Saturday and he was due to see the kids later on, but he went out to the park, admired the bird's beautiful song, and soaked up the heat of the sun. Then he saw a familiar figure. Brendan. Ste jumped out of his skin and hid behind a tree, looking on and he saw Brendan throw a ball, and he threw it unbelievably far. At that moment he saw Miya bound past, her legs stretching long and far, quick, light and nimble and she caught the ball before it even hit the floor. She had grown considerably since he last saw her and when she stood on her back legs she must be as tall as Brendan. When she went running back, she launched herself off of the ground, right on top of him and he tumbled to the floor, laughing as she licked his face, her tail wagging and he rubbed behind her ears, grabbing her round the neck and started play fighting with her. Ste couldn't help but smile. Brendan was in his element with her and he could see how much he loved her, what she meant to him.

Brendan turned his head in Ste's direction, obviously caught sight of him and Ste backed away, walked off quickly.

Xxx

Ste had been home for a couple of hours, Walker with him and when the kids arrived, he left. Apparently he couldn't stand them and that dug deep. Walker was supposed to be his..._boyfriend?_

No.

He wanted to love him. He really did. He tried so hard to convince himself that he did. He thought that he would learn to love him. But he still only loved one person.

'I don't like that Walker fella. He's a bit shifty if you ask me'

'Amy! Seriously. He is alright once you get to know him.'

'No. Something is wrong about him'

At that moment, Terry, John and Pauline all walked in, stumbling over the lose bit of carpet, singing tunes that he couldn't make out.

'Well well well! If it isn't little Amy! How ya doin love?'

Terry slurred, and tripped over to her, hanging off of one of her shoulders, breathing into her face.

'Who's this lot?'

Pauline pointed at Leah and Lucas with her foot, and they stared back at her with wide, innocent eyes. Ste went over and picked Lucas up.

'This is my son. And little Leah is my daughter. Not biologically but I will raise her as my own'

Pauline parted her lips, her jaw falling to the floor.

'You're raising another bloke's kid? And you have a kid of your own? Are you serious?'

'Yeah I am. I want these kids to have a father. Have a good life and a good upbringing. Something you never gave me'

All three of them flipped and Pauline smacked Ste's arms upwards, Lucas hurtling to the floor, but Amy managed to catch him before impact. John lunged at him, smacking him to the ground and Amy screamed in horror, covering Lucas' eyes and running over to Leah, pulling her into her arms and leading them to Ste's room.

'Stay in here. Mummy will be right back'

They nodded and she ran down the hallway, jumped on Terry's back, wrapped an arm around his neck, the crease of her elbow squeezing his windpipe. She could see that Ste was getting battered, blood dripping from his nose and she had been clinging on so long that Terry passed out, collapsing to the floor, to which Pauline and John stopped, turned and threw Amy off of him. She clambered to her feet, helped Ste up, slinging his arm around her neck and went for the door, before Ste stopped in his tracks, spitting out a load of blood.

'I ain't putting up with this anymore!'

He stood on his own two feet, an arm wrapped around his torso.

'I'm moving out! And none of you are having anything to do with my kids. You fucking sicken me!'

He went to his room, packed some essentials.

'Daddy? What's that on your face?'

Ste continued packing.

'Don't worry darlin. It's just... ketchup. Daddy was silly and spilt it on his face.'

Xxx

Ste trudged into school while Amy sorted out a flat, and he got a few funny looks. Probably because half of his face was swollen and he still had blood around his nose and he looked half dead because he had to look after the kids all night because they couldn't sleep.

'Steven?'

He zoned back in, saw he was in his English classroom. He didn't even know how he got there, or what time it was but Brendan was in front of him, a look of concern on his face and he reached up to touch his face and Ste let him. His warm fingers spreading across his cheek was the most beautiful feeling. He had missed it so much and he pushed his face slightly into his palm.

'What happened to you?'

'My parents got back from a piss up, met my kids and then...'

'Woah woah woah! You've got kids? When did this happen?'

'A few weeks ago. My ex girlfriend popped round and told me I had a son. She has another kid which isn't mine but I treat her like my own. Then John beat me up again and now I've moved out.'

Brendan pulled his head into his shoulder. Ste was exhausted, truly exhausted and he didn't want to fight the emotions. He didn't have the energy.

'That's good of you Steven. You're a good man.'

Ste smiled, tried to pull away, but Brendan didn't let him.

'Brendan. You can let go now.'

'Oh. I'm sorry'

He ran a thumb over Ste's bottom lip, wanted to kiss him so badly and Ste grabbed his wrist, forced them off him.

'What are you doing? This changed nothing between us okay?'

Brendan wanted change. He wanted to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness, but what good would that do? He knew that Ste still loved him and the only thing he could do now is try and protect him, make him realize the love he has for him. He'd have to wait for Ste to come to him. He wasn't going to pressure the boy. Maybe some harmless flirtation.

Xxx

Ste walked home quickly when the bell rang, slipped his key into the lock and pressed an ear to it, trying to listen for any sign of movement. He cautiously opened the door, and thankfully no one was in. He went to his room, threw everything into his bag, his clothes, all of his photos, and his dads things, making sure not to forget his bank card. Then the front door swung open and he could hear echoing voices of panic and he ran into the living room to see Terry and Pauline bending over John, his face bloodied, with what looks like a badly broken nose, two black eyes, three splits in his lips and a couple of teeth seem to be missing. John whimpered when he saw Ste, tried to crawl back along the floor, but his ribs must be broken because he could see the pain in his eyes.

'Get him away from me'

Terry lunged at him, grabbed him around the neck.

'Who did you get to do this for you eh?'

'What the hell are you talking about? What happened to him?'

Terry could see the innocence in Ste's eyes, and he let him go.

'He got jumped by some bastard in a balaclava. Why are you here anyway? Get the fuck out! John doesn't want you here!'

Xxx

He was still confused as to what happened to John. Some randomer just jumped him? Who would mess with John? Nobody! He is the size of a crane and could beat the crap out of professional boxers if he wanted to.

He popped into the public toilets with all of his things before catching a bus to his new flat. That's when everything fell into place.

There was Brendan, running his fist under some cold water, flinching slightly, his knuckles smeared with blood, a balaclava in the other hand.

'It was you?'

He turned and his face fell when he saw Ste.

'What was me?'

He tried to hide his hand behind his back, and Ste dropped his bags, grabbed Brendan's hand and examined it.

'You beat up my Uncle John didn't you? Why the hell would you do that?'

'He isn't an Uncle to you if he does that!'

He pointed at Ste's black eye.

'You could have killed him!'

'He should be in the morgue after everything he has done to you'

'Brendan this wasn't your fight!'

He threw Brendan's hand down, slapped his shoulder.

'It's only a broken knuckle. I'll be fine.'

'Yeah well John won't be! What the hell is wrong with you!'

_For fuck sake Steven, I did it for you! Nobody gets to lay their hands on you. I know I sound like a hypocrite but I love you to the ends of the earth and would never ever hurt you again._

Brendan stuttered, didn't know what to say and he hung his head in shame

_Maybe I made it worse_ he thought.

Xxx

Brendan went out to the shop the next day to buy some dog food. The day was beautiful and bright, and he saw someone familiar.

'What the...?'

He squinted, saw Walker leaning against a wall and he walked over to him, grabbed him by the collar.

'What the fuck are you doing here?!'

'Brendan. Always a pleasure'

Walker was sarcastic, a sick sadistic grin spread across his face.

'Why are you here?! Haven't you taken enough away from me?!'

'Just like you took my brother from me. You deserve every bit of shit you get and don't you worry. There is more to come. You deserve to suffer.'

Brendan got frustrated, turned delusional and slammed him against the wall.

'Brendan!'

He heard the familiar voice and Ste pushed him away, threw him arms back protectively in front of Walker.

'What the hell are you doing?'

'You know him?'

Walker continued to grin and put his hands on Ste's hips, sliding them round until they sat comfortably just above Ste's groin.

'Don't worry babe. We were just catching up'

Brendan was in shock, his heart aching again and he saw Ste's eyes light up slightly, his limbs beginning to relax.

'Wait... Steven... You are going out with him?!'

'Yeah I am! There a problem with that?!'

_Yeah there is! He is the reason Vinnie is dead!_

He said nothing. Ste looked happy and he didn't want him to lose everything like he had. Maybe this is the way to let him go? He walked off, tears filling his eyes. Like Ste said, _This isn't his fight_

Xxx

Ste opened the door, found Walker standing there looking gorgeous. Amy was away for the night, staying back at home and Ste had the kids.

'Hey there sweet cheeks'

Walker entered, kissed Ste on the lips and collapsed onto the sofa.

'Keep it down. The kids are in bed'

Walker grimaced.

'Eurgh. Kids.'

'Oi! They're mine and I love them, so you're gunna have to accept them.'

He rolled his eyes and grabbed a couple of beers.

Xxx

They drunk the night away and Ste was a bit tipsy, he stood to get another and Walker wrapped his arms around him, kissed his neck and nibbled his ear lobe.

'What do you say we take this party to bed?'

Ste shrugged him off and giggled.

'No. Not tonight.'

'You what?'

Walker stood, seriousness in his face, a frown stretching across his forehead.

'Just... The kids are here and that. Plus I'm not in that kinda mood.'

Walker snapped, punched Ste in the ribs and spat;

'When I want sex, I always get it!'

Leah suddenly turned the corner, rubbing her eyes, her voice high pitched and croaky.

'Daddy. I had a bad dream'

Ste was winded and he tried to speak, despite the fact his lungs felt like they were going to implode.

'Okay... princess. I'll be in... in a sec.'

Walker stormed out at that point, leaving Ste to fall to the floor, inhaling deeply, his lungs aching at the sudden contraction.


	21. Shocking Proposal

Chapter 21

How could Walker do that to him? He seemed to care so much, but he is just like everyone else.

'Daddy. Are you ok?'

Ste got his breath back, and saw Leah standing in front of him, rubbing his shoulder.

'Yeah. Yeah I'm fine princess. Daddy has a belly ache. That's all'

Xxx

Ste was packing things into his locker, when the door suddenly slammed and Walker was stood next to it.

'Ste I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. It was the drink. I didn't mean to hit you. I... please... forgive me'

He was talking so quickly, that Ste just silenced him.

'Shhhh'

He had considered this last night. Walker was drunk, and like any other man, too much can lead to things like this. Plus he cared about Walker. Really cared about him and he suddenly caught site of Brendan. Ste reached behind Walker's head, played with the hairs at the bottom of his neck and pulled him into a kiss, not closing his eyes, he merely stared at Brendan as they kissed, trying to read his face and he could see the jealousy building, the hurt and the pain.

'I forgive you. Just...don't let it happen again'

'I won't I promise.'

He pulled Ste into him, grinning in satisfaction.

_That was oh so easy. _

Ste saw Brendan sink back into his classroom and he slammed the door, locked it and went mental, flinging books across the classroom. That bastard is the reason why Vinnie is six feet under. Brendan had a dark past, there is no denying that and he needed to tell Ste everything. Walker was dangerous and only Brendan knows how much.

Xxx

When he saw Ste walk past his classroom at lunch, he hauled him inside.

'Jesus Christ Brendan is this how it is always gunna go?'

'You need to break up with Walker. Now.'

Ste struggled to talk. Who the hell is he to tell him who he can and can't be with?

'No! What the hell no!'

'You need to. That guy is dangerous.'

'Oh yeah? How would you know that?'

Brendan didn't want to tell him, but if it meant keeping Ste safe then he would do anything.

'He is the reason Vinnie is dead! When I was younger... I was in a bad way... and I got in with the wrong group of people, who forced me to sell drugs and one of the clients was his younger brother and he died of an overdose. He has been out to get me ever since and he is trying to make me suffer. Vinnie is in the ground because of him'

Part of Ste wanted to believe him, the other refused to even try and believe him. He convinced himself that Brendan was making stuff up because he was jealous.

'You're lying. Brendan you need to get it into your head that I am with someone else now. I don't want you! You dumped me remember? Now leave me alone and let me get on with my life'

'No Steven please! He is gunna hurt everything that means something to me. That is the only reason he is with you. Please. If you care about me... even just a little bit... don't become like Vinnie'

Tears started to form in his eyes yet Ste showed no remorse.

'He loves me. Get over it. You're just jealous'

He was right. Brendan was jealous as fuck. His heart hurt at the thought of them two having sex and as Ste left, he caught the door before it closed, stared after Ste, who walked over to Walker who was leaning against the fire exit and he wrapped his arms around him. Walker saw Brendan looking on and he trailed his hands down Ste's back until he cupped his bum cheeks, another grin spreading across his face.

Xxx

'Ste we haven't got any money. Things need to be sorted out. You need to get a job'

Amy was whining at him again, but she was whining the truth. He needed to feed Leah and Lucas, he needed to pay rent, which was currently being paid for by his inheritance and he needed food for himself and Walker, seeing as he stayed over a lot. Amy stayed with her parents most of the time as she didn't want to be seen as a burden and suddenly become dependent on him.

'I'll try and find a job this weekend, but it is hard you know?'

'Yeah I know it is but even if you do get a weekend thing, it won't be enough to support you'

Ste leant against the Kitchen counter and considered for a second. She was right. He would get chucked out of the flat within a couple of months. There was only one option, and that was to drop out of college. His heart ached at the thought but how else could he support his kids? He didn't even know what Walker did as a job, but he didn't seem to be earning that much.

'Yeah. You're right. I'm gunna have to drop out of college'

'Jesus no Ste! You love that place. I'll see if I can pick up some more hours okay? I don't want you to do that.'

Ste took Amy's hands in his own.

'Amy, I need to support my kids. This is my choice okay? Don't feel guilty about anything'

Xxx

The bell rang for break and Ste went over to Brendan's classroom, knocked on the door and heard a muffled;

'Come in'

He took a deep breath and entered, to which he saw Brendan, nose deep in some marking, the arm of his sexy glasses between his teeth. Brendan did a double take of Ste, and leaned back in his chair.

'Steven'

He gave a polite nod. He realised that he needed to at least try and be civil with him. Business was business.

'Sir'

Ste returned the nod.

'I um... just came to say I'm quitting college... I wanted to be the one that tells you.'

Brendan made a face as if he had been stabbed in the heart.

'Why? You can't. You're doing so well and A-Levels will contribute highly to your future.'

'I know but I have to look after my kids. I have a place of my own and I can't afford to live there if I don't get a full time job'

'Then let me help you'

Ste dropped his bag off of his shoulder.

'I don't need your charity money'

Brendan sighed. The boy was far too stubborn and he knew he would never get around him.

'Please Steven. Reconsider. Seriously think about this. It could be something you regret.'

Xxx

Brendan went out on the pull that night. He had fucked a load of guys since things ended with Ste and he needed to get stuff out of his system. Of course, none of the people he slept with were as good as Ste. Not even close, but it was intimacy, a warm body next to his, a quick fuck and that's it.

He went into a local club, caught eye of a fitting young lad, their eyes met, and Brendan gave him a subtle wink, to which the boy giggled and blushed.

_Piece of piss_

Within the hour they were talking and chatting and Brendan invited him back to his place and they were already pulling each other's clothes off. He pushed the boy to the floor, didn't even know his name but he was hot enough.

'On your knees'

He was the type that like to be ordered around and he got Brendan's cock out from the tight material of his trousers and started to suck him off, closing his lips around him and Brendan gyrated his hip actions in time with the boy's head bobbing back and forth, grunting as he felt the sensitive head rub against the rough texture of his tongue. He grabbed the back of the boy's head, forced his cock down his throat and a mumble escaped his mouth. This was good enough. He didn't need to know the boy's name. It didn't matter. He was good at giving head that's for sure.

_Not as good as Steven_

Brendan nudged him with his knee, knocking him to the floor and he climbed on top, slipping a hand down the boy's trousers and pumping his hand back and forth. He was quite a nice size in all fairness.

_Not as nice as Steven's_

He flipped him over, prepared him, fingering nice and deep, ripped open a condom with his teeth and rolled it on himself, plunging in deep, thrusting back and forth, the tight, warm heat engulfing him. He felt so good, moulded to his cock and the noises he made were amazing. The pure sounds of sexual pleasure.

_They weren't as amazing as Steven's_

Before he knew it his orgasm started to build, the familiar tingling sensation becoming more intense and he rode it out, moaning in pleasure, throwing his head back as the boy screamed, spilling over Brendan's hand. He told him to lick it off, which he gladly did, manoeuvring his tongue between Brendan's fingers.

Eventually he left, sensing that it was just a one night stand, but Brendan gave him a kiss goodbye anyway. It lingered slightly, but it ended with a smile and an exchange of _goodbye's. _He was a pretty little thing, maybe even the type he'd see again. He leaned against the doorframe, watched as the boy left then caught eye of Ste, standing across the street looking horrified. Brendan crossed the road, came face to face with his one true demon.

'Who was he?' he spat.

'Just a bloke I pulled'

Ste let out a little huff.

'Oh my god Steven you're such a hypocrite. It's like you said. You're with Walker now. I can fuck who I like.'

'Yeah well I just came to tell you that I have reconsidered. I'm not gunna drop out of college.'

'Oh... Why's that?'

Brendan's temper lowered, it was nice to be having _a sort of_ civil conversation with him for once.

'Because I think you're right.'

Brendan admired him. Such a brave boy, taking on the responsibility of his own child and somebody else's.

'You're making the right choice'

He cracked a smile, and Ste returned it, something Brendan had been longing to see. He was truly beautiful. Then Ste's face changed, went back to brutal stubbornness.

'Well, I better get back, you can carry on with your fuck buddy'

He turned, walked away.

Xxx

Ste got home, and he was welcomed by Walker, slouched on the sofa, arms splayed out.

'Baby, we need more milk!'

'Jesus Simon! I don't have the money, how many times do I have to say? You could at least help me out'

Walker stood, leaned against the wall, crossed his legs at the ankles.

'Yeah maybe we need to do something about that?'

'What are you talking about?'

He stared at his feet for a second.

'Look Ste. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm trying so hard at work, I really am, but they won't give me a pay rise. You need to do something too.'

'I'm trying to find a job...'

He was interrupted.

'Yeah so I've been thinking... You're gorgeous, have an amazing body, and you're great in bed so maybe...?'

'What are you saying?'

A grin spread wide across Walker's face.

'You're good at sex and I have a job in mind that will pay a lot of money'

He gave Ste a wink, licked the top row of his teeth.

'You... You want me to sell my body?!'


	22. No Other Choice

Chapter 22

'No no. Don't look at it like that'

Walker cupped Ste's face in his hands, forced eye contact.

'Just think about it Ste. If you don't get money, and you don't get it now, then those little kiddy winks in there won't be able to eat. They'll think so low of their father, if he can't provide. Do you seriously want that? You can use protection. You'll be safe'

'No Walker. I'm going out with you. I don't want to'

Walker suddenly snapped, forced his fist into Ste's ribs, winding him. How dare this little shit disobey him. He was nothing, _is _nothing.

'You _are_ gunna do this. If you don't, those kids of yours, will become orphans. Okay?'

Ste squirmed in his arms, inhaling deeply and trying to straighten up, but he crippled back into a slouch from the pain.

'Okay?'

Walker repeated, his tone a little more impatient. Ste was breathless, his voice hoarse and squeaky.

'Okay'

Walker's face brightened into a smile and he pressed his lips to Ste's, pulling him into his body and Ste flinched at the feeling of him, tried to resist, his body stiff and rigid. This man made him feel physically sick, but he couldn't just walk away, not from a man like Walker. He's there, inside his head, chipping away every day and every night and he had become so unpredictable. It seemed he was back at square on. Instead of Terry, it's Walker.

Walker pulled away, ran his fingers through Ste's hair.

'I think you need a trim baby. We'll get that sorted'

He winked, and let himself out of the flat and Ste shivered at the thought of Walker's touch, his skin crawling as he still felt his heat on his skin, and the moisture on his lips.

Brendan was right. Walker was a complete psycho, but what could he do now? He knew where he lived, he knew where the kids went to school, and he knew where Amy was. Everything was at stake here. His safety and his family's safety. The only thing he could do now was obey him.

Xxx

The next day was a blur. Ste didn't remember his lessons, didn't remember what he did at break or lunch. He was outside his flat, just standing there, trying to remember what had actually happened that day, but he still remembered nothing. He entered his flat, to find Walker slumped on the sofa.

'How do you get in whenever you want?'

Ste asked, leaning against the kitchen counter, cautious of Walker's actions.

'I am very skilled young Steven. Very skilled. Oh and another thing...'

He stood, trapped Ste in his embrace, breathed in his face, his lips just inches away. Ste was scared, well and truly scared. Walker had a habit of being calm one minute then violent the next and Ste felt the need to keep up his guard.

'I've got you your first client. He's sort of... an old buddy of mine.'

Walker sighed a laugh and quickly kissed him on the lips. Ste didn't want to do this. Of course he didn't, but he had looked at his kids this morning. Walker was right. This was a desperate time, and he needed to provide for them off his own back and it seemed like this was the only option. Besides, he enjoyed sex like any other person and it would be completely safe. Right?

That's what he told himself anyway.

'He's in your room. I'll leave you to it'

Walker left, slamming the door behind him, shooting a sadistic grin before he exited. Ste cautiously went to his room, trying not to make any sudden movements. He felt like he was in a horror movie, like any loud noise or quick action would set something off, like a chain of booby-traps. He pushed the door open silently and saw the figure lurking in the shadow, just standing there shirtless, staring out of the window. The man obviously sensed movement, causing him to turn and Ste nearly fell to the floor when he realised who it was.

'Ricki?!'

'Ste? What the fuck are you doing here?'

Ricki quickly grabbed his shirt and threw it over his head.

'This is my flat. I live here! Why are you here? Oh my god! You're gay too?'

Ricki got defensive, grabbing Ste by the collar and pinning him to the wall.

'I'm not gay!'

'Who are you kidding?! You're here for sex from me! There is nothing to be ashamed of! It isn't wrong to like guys'

Ricki's eye faltered, considered Ste words for the moment and he let go, perched on the end of Ste's bed and rested his head in his palms.

'You can't tell anyone about this. No one at school. I have a reputation to uphold! And you can't tell my dad. He'll kill me'

'Ricki, he'll understand'

'No he won't! He'll rip the absolute shit outta me, beat me into a coma or something'

Wait... What?

'Your dad... he hits you?'

Ricki nodded in shame, rolled up his shirt, revealing a toned six pack and a purple bruise on his ribs.

'He's beaten me for as long as I can remember. My mum died giving birth to me. He blamed me ever since. That's why nobody can hear about this. I don't want to be this way... I don't'

Ste actually felt sorry for him. Everything made sense now. Ricki bullied him because he couldn't handle the fact that he was gay too. Was it jealousy because Ste was out and confident? Was it disgust in himself and everyone else like him?

Ste hesitantly perched next to Ricki, put a hand on his wrist, but Ricki flinched and pulled away.

'Look... I know how it feels. Wanting to make your parents proud and not being able to. Remember I walked into school with a bloody face? My Step dad did that to me. I get it. One thing you have to understand, is that you can't fight your own feelings. You are who you are and you can't change it, no matter how hard you try. A wise man once told me that if you try and bury it, karma will come round and bite you in the ass.'

Ricki stared at him, his expression plain and blunt; unreadable. Then he leaned in, pressed his lips delicately to Ste's. It was so unexpected, he was gentle and soft, no such violence or aggression.

_This is so weird. Ricki... the bloke who poisoned me is now kissing me..._

Ste embraced it. The rent was due tomorrow and he _needed _money desperately. Ricki gently pushed him into the mattress, hands placed firmly on Ste's waist.

_Shit he is a good kisser._

Ste groaned into Ricki's mouth, lifted his shirt over his head and ran a finger down his abs, dipping and rising over the muscles of his stomach, tugging lightly at Ricki's waistband.

'Shit. I'm sorry I can't do this'

Ricki hopped off the bed, pulled his t-shirt over his head once again.

'Did I do something wrong?'

'No. It's too weird. Especially with you. I know your heart lies elsewhere'

They stared at each other and Ste saw a glimmer in his eyes, a look of knowledge. He knew. He knew about him and Brendan.

'You're a good guy Ste. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I nearly killed you but...'

He didn't finish his sentence, he merely stared at his reflection in the mirror in disappointment. Then he pulled a role of cash out from his back pocket and threw it at Ste, his look changing back to the aggressive, unforgiving expression.

'Keep shit to yourself okay? Or I'll break your legs'

Ste giggled, then realized it wasn't a joke.

'I won't say anything. As long as you don't say anything about... this.'

Ricki nodded politely, his way of sealing a deal and Ste could have sworn he saw a smirk.

Xxx

'Did you get the money?'

Walker stormed into Ste's living room, scaring him half to death.

'Shit...Yeah. I did it.'

Ste sulked. Even though he hadn't actually done anything, he felt dirty. So dirty. How... Why was he doing this to himself. He knew he had no choice but it's like... Brendan said. He should fight back and stand up for what he believes in.

'Good boy! We are gunna put you online. Not too many details, but enough to get the guys blood flowing'

'Online?! No way!'

'I'm gunna give you a chance to rethink this Ste. We're gunna put you online okay? Now... think carefully about how you respond this time'

Ste suddenly felt a shooting pain through his ribs. It was almost as if Walker's glare sent out that pain, like a reminder of what he was capable of. He was on the brink of crying, but he contained it, determined not to let Walker see that he was getting to him. He can't be weak now. He needed to be strong for his kids and for Amy.

'Yeah. Okay'

Walker grinned in triumph and pulled out his laptop, perching on the floor, examining Ste one minute then typing the next.

'What... What are you writing?'

Walker peered up, smirking.

'Just describing you and your... features as it were'

He continued to type, then pulled out a phone from his back pocket and threw it in Ste's direction.

'That's your work phone. Clients will call you and organise to meet with you. You answer every call, no matter what. Your minimum is £200 an hour. People may vary on whether they want to pay more. Be good in bed'

'Right'

Ste slugged his head between his shoulders. This isn't how he saw his future. He wanted to earn a good living, raise his kids well and be with... a guy that cares for him. But Walker had his nails in Ste, so deep. He didn't have the energy to try and claw his way out. It took him 18 years to do something about Terry, but this was worse. So much worse.

Xxx

'What do you want? Tell me what you want'

'I want you to sit on my dick'

Ste was with a client. His tenth since Walker set him up online, and he had earned over £2300 in two weeks. There was no denying that this 'job' earned well. The bloke he was with at the moment was called Dan. He was cute, tall, slim build, blonde hair and brown eyes. They had slept together a couple of times, and Dan was one of the more gentle clients. He appreciated the sex. Some of the men Ste had were vicious and incredibly rough. They would fuck him for hours, for their own sexual pleasure, rather than Ste's and sometimes, Ste would have to finish himself off.

Dan kissed Ste's naked torso, ran his hands down his body, slowing slightly at the bruises on his ribs.

Walker had beaten him again. He received complaints stating that he was too timid and shy, not taking control or expressing sexual pleasure. Henceforth the bruises.

_If you put shame to my name, then you'll be begging for death._

'You ready for me Dan?'

'Fuck yeah!'

Ste reached behind him, fisted Dan's cock ferociously, then adjusted himself, touched the head to his twitching entrance, and slowly allowed penetration, sliding himself down until he was balls deep, exhaling in pleasure as his prostate was rubbed firmly. Dan thrusted deep, digging his nails into Ste's hips and launching his head back into the mattress as Ste started to rotate his hips back and forth, engulfing Dan's cock with his tightness and heat.

'Jesus Ste... I'm gunna... I'm gunna cum!'

Dan began to fist Ste's dick, pumping furiously and simultaneously arching his back and shooting into latex, screaming in pleasure, and minutes after, the familiar burning sensation broke out deep in Ste's sensitive gland, his orgasmic muscles viciously contracting and he spilled over Dan's stomach, crying out his name.

'You're so fucking hot when you orgasm'

_Job done. A satisfied customer._

Dan was a nice guy, they had become more like fuck buddies rather than clients, and he paid well, leaving a £100 tip every time.

Dan dressed back into his clothes quickly, leaving his cash on the bedside table, leaning over the bed and requesting another kiss.

'You are so amazing in bed. Definitely worth the money. I'll see you later gorgeous'

He shot Ste a wink and cheekily groped him before leaving and Ste leaned over, picked up the pile of cash and skimmed through it.

£400

Xxx

Brendan couldn't believe what he was doing, but he needed it and he needed it soon. He had fucked half the guys in town and he was gagging for some good sex. Guaranteed good sex. There really was no other option now.


	23. Falling In Love All Over Again

**Hey guys! I am sorry it took so long for me to update. I was busy writing a Stendan wedding (Which I have uploaded if you are interested ;)) Here is the Stendan reunion which you have all been begging for! :D I had to re upload this chapter because I re-read it and realised there was a load of mistakes. Dang my word mix-ups!**

**Alys x**

Chapter 23

Brendan pulled out his phone and typed in the number on his laptop screen, composing a quick message.

_I require your services_

He slumped back into the sofa, a whiskey in one hand and he touched himself with the other, his cock aching from the lack of decent sexual contact.

_1 New Message- Recipient; Unknown_

_Time? Place? Type of sex?_

That's it. Quick and down to the point. He wanted a fast fuck and that's it.

_Tomorrow? Noon? At the bus stop behind Grand Central Car Park? I want it all._

The thought of having a mouth around his dick infuriated him. In a good and a bad way, he was so sexually frustrated that masturbation wasn't enough, but it was going to have to be enough for now.

_Yeah that's good. See you then._

Good.

All sorted.

Brendan was going to fuck that boy until he couldn't see. He continued to touch himself, groping, tugging, pulling, squeezing and he groaned loudly as he began to fuck himself with his hand, slowly fisting and rubbing a thumb over the sensitive head and palming his balls, rolling them about in his hand.

'Fuck'

A quick, sharp tingle shot through him as pre-cum oozed from his cock, and he shuddered as the tingle lingered in his muscles and he need to cum now. His pace increased, wanking viciously and he arched his back off of the sofa, screaming in pleasure as he spunked over his hand and he slouched back in relief. He panted, slugged back another whiskey and relaxed as the aftermath of his orgasm kicked in.

Xxx

11:50.

Brendan set off out of his house, continuously checking his phone and he eventually reached the bus stop behind the car park. There was nobody there that caught his eye, so he leaped onto the wall next to the bus shelter and spun his phone in his hand.

That's when his heart sank to the pit of his stomach.

Ste turned the corner, his eyes glued to his phone and he stopped, flicked his eyes upwards to check the road then crossed before halting on the spot, realising who he just saw.

'Steven'

Brendan nodded politely, trying not to act vaguely interested.

'Brendan'

He returned the nod and leaned against the bus shelter awkwardly.

'Meeting someone are we?'

Brendan asked, purely trying to create conversation so he didn't look like a loner.

'Urm. Yeah. You?'

'Yup'

Brendan swung his legs, and after 10 minutes he had a growing suspicion. Ste wasn't catching a bus because one had already passed, he didn't receive any texts or phone calls, but he definitely looked like he was waiting for someone.

Brendan slyly pulled out his phone and dialled 'The Number' and Ste walked away, recognised the number and answered.

'Hey, where the hell are you? I've been waiting ages. Haven't got all day you know?'

'I'm right here'

Ste slowly turned and saw Brendan standing in front of him, a face like thunder, his phone pressed to his ear, his tight grip cracking the screen.

Xxx

Brendan threw Ste into his house, slamming the door behind him.

'What the actual fuck?!'

'What?'

Brendan glared at him. The stubborn ass boy didn't see the wrong in his actions.

'What?!'

Ste repeated, holding his arms in the air. Who was Brendan to judge him? He was doing this for his kids.

'You are selling your body for money, and you are asking what's wrong?!'

'I'm sorry, but since when were you allowed to make decisions in my life? I'm short on money so I am doing this for my kids. I like sex and I'm good at it.'

It was true. Ste was the best that Brendan had ever had.

'You are so fucking naive! You. Are. Selling. Your. Body. For. Money! You are basically a prostitute!'

'Yeah? You're a hypocrite! You sold drugs because you 'got into the wrong crowd' You had no reason to do it. I have a reason! I want to be able to provide for my family!'

In a way, Brendan admired him. Going to the extreme to do well by his family, but he was so young, so full of potential. He wasn't going to watch that go to waste.

He poured himself a whiskey to try and calm his temper, he would never forgive himself if he lashed out again.

'I told you to let me help'

'I don't need your fucking money Brendan! I should be able to provide and that's what I'm doing!'

'Did Walker have anything to do with this?'

Ste froze, picked at his fingernails, a drop of sweat forming on his brow.

'Um… Look Brendan are you gunna sleep with me or not? I could be getting fucked by someone else right now and getting paid double. I ain't got all fucking day!'

That boiled Brendan's blood and he snapped, throwing his whiskey glass across the room, narrowly missing Ste's head.

'Shit. I'm sorry. Steven I'm sorry'

Ste exhaled a laugh. Unbelievable. He opened one of the kitchen cupboards and took hold of a plate and Brendan's eyes widened.

Was he going to...?

'Steven… No no no no!'

Ste threw it across the room, and it smashed against the wall, showering over Brendan's head and the anger suddenly got the better of him. He grabbed more plates and spun them like a Frisbee, launching them into the air, putting all of his strength behind them and Brendan dodged them all.

'You know what? Fuck this!'

Brendan stormed over to Ste, and he was suddenly scared, dropping the final plate.

_Shit shit shit shit shit. This is where I get smacked again. Brace yourself Ste_

A punch didn't come, instead, Brendan grabbed Ste behind the head and yanked him into a kiss, wildly and viciously kissing him, passion taking over like electricity through a telephone wire. Ste threw his arms around Brendan's neck, moaning into his mouth, trying to rid of the withdrawal symptoms.

This was right. This is where he belonged; in Brendan's arms. Kissing him now, made him realize how much he had missed him, how much he loved him and he suddenly lost himself.

He was slammed him into the wall, lifted into Brendan's arms, and he wrapped his legs around his waist, locking at the ankles. There was no time to take things slow. They desperately needed each other.

Ste murmured against Brendan's lips

'Take me to bed baby'

He didn't need to ask again. In a shot, Ste was on Brendan's bed, stripped of all of his clothes and Brendan was trailing his lips down Ste's hot torso, licking his stomach and biting his shoulders, sinking his teeth into him, sucking his neck and taking hold of his cock and fisting him slowly.

'Bren….'

Ste was at whining point already, desperate and Brendan loved to hear him beg.

'What do you want boy? Tell me. I'll do anything'

'Kiss me. Just… fucking kiss me'

Ste slammed their lips together, groaned in his mouth and Brendan drunk down his fucking gorgeous noises, licked inside Ste's mouth, fucking him with his saliva.

'Fuck me Bren. Fuck me until I'm screaming your name'

Their lips were bruised, but they continued to kiss, not able to get enough of each other, and Brendan slipped on a condom and began to play with Ste's tight entrance, stretching him, overcome by his warmth and he slowly penetrated, fingered him nice and deep, before pulling out and replacing his fingers with his cock, gently entering, allowing Ste's muscles to mould to his size and proportions and Ste licked the fingers that were once inside of him, manoeuvring his tongue and biting down as Brendan rubbed firmly against his prostate.

Brendan fucked him like there was no tomorrow, and Ste's moaning got louder and the cool burn in his orgasmic muscles began to increase, the sharp, drugged haze becoming thicker as his orgasm grew, and he screamed Brendan's name, clawing into his neck, his body moist from sweat and he threw his head back into the pillow as Brendan continued to fuck him, attempting to stretch his orgasm further.

'Steven… Gunna Cum… Gunna cum!'

Ste clenched his muscles around Brendan's cock as he buried his face into Ste's neck, groaning loudly and flinching as he spunked into latex, the room filled with the strong smell of sex, Ste and Brendan's musk mixing together.

'Fuck!'

He relaxed into Ste's arms, his head resting against Ste's pounding chest.

'Holy fuck. That was…. amazing.'

He was breathless, Ste's fingers running through his hair and stroking his shoulders, his body still trembling. Brendan lifted his head to kiss him, a smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

'I love you'

Ste froze, pulled away and looked at him, direct in the eye.

Was he being serious?!

'You what?'

Brendan considered what he just said, debated whether it was just spur of the moment, but it wasn't. This boy was something special, and he didn't know how he had lived without him for the past 6 months.

'I love you Steven. I'm not just saying it. I have genuinely fallen in love with you'

Ste's face widened into a grin.

'I love you too!'

He pulled him into a long, lingering kiss, a tear of happiness streaming down his face.

'I love you too'

He repeated, almost as if he couldn't believe he just said it.

Xxx

It was indeed, eventually, time for Ste to leave. Of course after declaring their love for each other, they didn't want to separate, they wanted to be together more than ever.

'Here'

Brendan held out a hand with Ste's money in it. He was hesitant in accepting, but he knew that if he came home empty handed, then Walker would beat him senseless.

'Thanks… Walker will be wondering what's happening otherwise'

Brendan's frame became tense at the mention of his name.

'Please stop Steven. Stop doing…. this.'

Ste rolled his eyes. He knew that this conversation would spring up somewhere, but he couldn't stop. His kids were the main priority and he was sure as hell that he wasn't going to move back in with his parents.

'I can't. I need the money for my flat, for my kids, for Amy. I have bills to pay. '

'Well… then…. call off everyone else. Just sleep with me and I'll pay you every time. Be with me'

He held Ste's hands in his own, pressing them to his chest.

'I can't explain how much I want to be with you Bren… but Walker…. He'll hurt me again…'

Brendan cut him off.

'Woah again? You mean he was hurting you?'

Ste hung his head between his shoulders, unable to make eye contact.

'Yeah. He hit me… it doesn't matter, please don't get mad!'

Brendan barged past him towards the door, but Ste jumped on him, held him in his arms.

'No Bren! You can't! If you hurt him, imagine what he'll do to me! Or my kids!'

Brendan halted, froze on the spot. He couldn't let those kids get hurt. They were little parts of Ste, things that were precious to him.

'Look. Let me handle it okay? You need to trust me. I can't… I dunno….How to…'

Ste couldn't finish his sentence. He didn't know what he was going to do. He was in love with Brendan, but Walker had so much control over his life, that he couldn't just crawl out. He was trapped.

'We have to keep this a secret okay? Like before… I dunno how to get away from Walker, but I'll try. I still have to sleep with other guys, otherwise he'll know something is up'

A shiver rippled through Brendan's body. He was infuriated at the thought, but he understood.

'Your kids come first. Do whatever you have to do'


	24. Rape

Chapter 24

Ste lay in bed, flicking through his cash that he made that night.

£500 from Brendan

£400 from Alex.

Alex, was the roughest client he had, the type who only has sex for his own pleasure, takes no satisfaction in pleasuring others. For two hours straight, they had sex and he slammed against Ste, causing him physical pain. His cries, were of pain not pleasure. He didn't want to do this anymore. He wanted to be with Brendan, spend the rest of his life with him.

'Daddy!'

Leah's little voice moved through the walls and Ste attempted to stand, a pain shooting through his legs.

'Fuck!'

He was bruised, inside and out, the pain excruciating and he limped out of the room, to comfort his little girl.

Xxx

Ste couldn't take his eyes off Brendan in class the next day. He simply remembered the wild, passionate night they had and the declaration of love. Brendan was so sexy when he was teaching, and filthy thoughts entered his mind, thoughts of deep throating him, licking his torso, biting his neck...

'Steven?'

He zoned back in, realised everyone was staring at him.

'Sorry what?'

Brendan giggled subtly, licking his top lip and perching on the edge of his desk, leaning back slightly, giving a perfect view of his crotch, intentionally teasing him and blood rushed Ste's groin, his cock rubbing uncomfortably against his trousers and he sat forward awkwardly, cupping his cock.

'Summarise Strange Meeting. I'm making sure you've read it'

'Oh. Umm... Well this bloke, Hillard or something, gets shot in the leg during the War, and he wakes in hospital, but doesn't like being there so he goes back to war in France and develops feelings for his friend that he meets'

Brendan nodded, evidently impressed.

'Good'

Ste exhaled deeply, swiping a drop of sweat from his forehead.

Xxx

At the end of class, Ste walked to the front to hand in his 'essay'.

'Why are you limping?'

Ste froze, tried to adjust himself to stop the pain.

'I'm not'

Brendan stormed over to him and cupped his bum in one hand and Ste winced, yelping in pain.

'It was just... a rough client okay? No big deal'

He reached up to try and kiss him, but Brendan pulled away, took a few paces back and shook his head.

'I can't do this'

'Do what?'

'I can't be with you if you are still doing... that. It hurts me too much, knowing that you go out and have sex with guys, yet you string me along at the same time. I love you but... I can't'

It physically hurt Brendan to say that. He dare not make eye contact. If he saw the looks in Ste's eyes, he would go back on that straight away.

'No Bren, you can't finish when it's just begun. I need you.'

Ste took a step forward, cautiously put a hand on Brendan's waist.

'I love you. Don't leave me now. I need you more than ever'

'Stop selling your body'

'Fuck sake Brendan! You know I can't do that!'

'Then we can't be together.'

Xxx

Ste picked up the kids from Amy at about 6:00pm, composing himself around her and thankfully, she hadn't suspected a thing. If she found out, she would probably take the kids away forever.

To no surprise he was met by Walker, slumped on the sofa with a beer in hand. How the hell does he get in when he pleases?

'Leah, go take Lucas to your room. You both look shattered. Early night for you two okay?'

'No daddy! It's too early.'

Ste sighed. Now wasn't the time to be an argumentative dad.

'Okay well, go to your room, get changed into your PJ's and put a film on, but as soon as it's finished, I want you to turn it off and go to sleep okay?'

Leah's little face brightened into a smile.

'Yay! Love you daddy. I pinky promise'

She held out her little finger, and Ste took it with his own.

'Good girl. Go on'

She took Lucas by the hand and lead him away. The similarities between them were so beautiful, he envied those children and loved them with every inch of his being and it made him realise, that all of this was worth it in the end.

'You want a brew Walker?'

'Good boy! Learning a bit of respect. I like it'

Really, Ste had been given no choice. Respect, or get beaten. It had taken him 18 years to lean that.

He boiled the kettle and handed the cup to Walker, yet Ste remained in the kitchen, trying to stay out of his way for the rest of the night.

'So when were you going to tell me that Brendan was your teacher?'

Walker leaned against the doorframe, tea in hand and he stared at Ste knowingly, a smirk on his face.

'I... didn't think it mattered. Things ended between us ages ago'

'But you still love him and you plan on calling off your other clients and sleeping purely with him'

Ste stuttered over his words. How the hell did he know all of this?!

'I don't love him...'

Walker came over to him, cupped his face in his hands.

'No... No you love me don't you? Yes'

He shook Ste's head for him, pressed their lips together and wrapped him in his arms.

'Daddy. Can you help me put Micky on please?'

Micky Mouse. Her favourite. Ste wriggled his way out of Walker's grip.

'Let me...Just... I'll be right back'

He quickly dealt with Leah, gave her and Lucas a kiss on the head.

'Love you daddy'

'Love you too princess. Night champion'

He closed their bedroom door, blowing a kiss before leaving and they returned it, and he walked back in to the kitchen, finding that Walker hadn't moved.

'Awww. Little kiddies. It's beautiful'

'Yeah.'

He took a sip of his tea and tried to pick up the conversation.

'Walker... Like I was saying umm... I'm not... I'm not in love with Brendan...'

'LIAR!'

He threw his tea in Ste's face and he screamed as the boiling liquid singed and burned his skin. He reached for the cold tap but his limbs suddenly went limp and he stumbled into the cupboard. His head was spinning, he was hallucinating, sweat forming all over his body.

He knew this feeling. He'd experienced it before and he tried to speak, yet he could only mumble, his lips were numb.

'You know I said that Ricki was an old buddy of mine? He does a lot of stuff for me, I need only ask, and he is a good boy.'

He pulled out a packet of pills from his back pocket.

'I'm sure you are familiar with these'

Ste tried to focus, and he made out the letters on the silver coating

Rohypnol.

He could only mumble his response. He'd been poisoned again and his legs suddenly turned to jelly and he fell to the floor.

'Woah baby. Come on. Let's get you to bed!'

He dragged him to his room and threw him onto the bed, perching next to him.

'Yes Ricki is a good boy. He gave you a little too much last time, but don't worry. This dose isn't lethal. No no.'

Ste laid limp, unable to move and he debated on screaming. If he did, then Walker could easily silence him, kill him in fact. If he didn't, then he could hurt Leah and Lucas and Ste wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

'I knew from the very beginning. I knew Brendan was your teacher. So I conducted an experiment, and got Ricki to slip something into your food, and poor poor Brendan wasn't coping very well when he found out you were in hospital. Did I tell you about Cam? I don't think I did. Well... he was my precious baby brother and your lover gave him a large dose of Heroin... and he died a long, slow, painful death. He suffered and I intend to make Mr Brady do the same'

Walker turned Ste's head and pressed their lips together and stripped him of his shirt, trousers and boxers, kissing, licking and biting his way down Ste's sweaty torso, until he reached his cock and he took him whole, right down to the base and Ste murmured, tried to summon the energy to kick him off, but nothing happened.

'God Ste, you're so gorgeous.'

Walker smiled sadistically and took out his hard dick, and with no lube, no protection, no preparation, he plunged in deep, forcing a hand over Ste's mouth to quieten his screams. This was rape. Walker was raping him and his entrance and insides were already burning from his rough night with Alex. The pain was excruciating and he screamed against Walker's palm, begging for him to stop, desperate for someone, anyone to hear him. Minutes of pain, seemed like hours, days, months.

Walker was close to climax, and he continued to thrust, hard and fast, slamming against Ste's paralysed body and spunking into him, panting deeply and slapping Ste lightly in the face.

'You're so fucking tight'

He laughed, kissed him on his limp lips, before hopping off the bed and pulling up his trousers.

'Fuck that was good. Oh don't worry. The affects will ware off in about an hour.'

With that, Walker left, leaving Ste naked and bleeding on the bed and little Leah's head popped around the corner, tears streaming down her face.

'Daddy?'

She came into the room and pulled the duvet over him, and Ste was still unable to speak, grunting and groaning being his only form of communication.

'Leeee... Urghh'

'Do I call the special number daddy? The one for the policeman?'

He tried to shake his head, but no such movement occurred. She took his phone and clicked on the '_people'_ button. He should call the police, but there was only one person he wanted right now.

Leah started running through the names, spelling them out in her head and reading them slowly.

'A-my? Daddy do I call Amy?'

'Nnnaaa'

'Ash-ley?'

'Nnooo'

'Bren-d-an?'

Ste didn't respond, but Leah saw the change in his eyes and she instantly knew what to do, and she pressed the big phone to her little ear and Ste listened to the faint ringing.

'_Steven. You could at least have the decency not to call me on your 'work' phone'_

'Daddy needs help'

She wiped her nose with the cuff of her pyjamas and sniffed, inhaling deeply, her breath hitching.

'_What do you mean he needs help?'_

'He won't move. He needs help quickly'

'_What's your name sweetheart? Is your brother okay?'_

'Leah. Lucas is sleeping now. But Daddy won't move'

'_It's okay. I'm coming_. _Where do you live_?'

She ran out of the room and checked the window and described what she could see.

'The big fountain. We live there. Number 24'

Within minutes Ste heard Brendan kick the door in. The sound of his voice made everything okay again. He was safe now.

'Leah?'

'Daddy is in here'

Brendan ran into the bedroom and Ste sighed in relief, and tried to slur his name.

'Brrren'

He stroked Ste's sweaty forehead and pulled Leah into his arms and she cried into his shoulder, her breathing sharp and heavy, her eyes tired and puffy.

'Shhh. It's okay. Listen to me. You have to be brave now. I want you to go to your room, wake up your brother and pack your clothes and toys into a big bag. We'll get daddy out of here okay? Can you do that?'

She nodded her little head and ran out of the room and Brendan threw Ste's clothes into his school bag, put his money in his back pocket and quickly got him dressed, pulling a t-shirt over his lose and limp head.

'I'm sorry. I let this happen. I should have protected you. It was Rohypnol again wasn't it?'

Ste grunted in affirmation, and he was hoisted into Brendan's arms, carried out of the flat and placed delicately into Brendan's car.

'I'll be back okay? I need to get Leah and Lucas'

He ran back in and exited minutes later with Lucas in his arms, and Leah holding his hand.

'Where are we going Brendan?'

'You're coming to live with me'


	25. Aftermath

**Bit of a short and boring chapter really, but it's part of the build up to some real drama!**

Chapter 25

'How did this happen?'

'Urmm...I dunno. I found him like this. He's gunna be okay though right?'

Ste felt a pair of lips touch his knuckles. He knew those lips anywhere and he felt familiar fingers, intertwined with his own. Warm, long, delicate yet firm fingers.

'Yeah he should be fine. The dose wasn't lethal but his system appears to be quite sensitive to the substance, more so than others. The drugs are all out of his system now and he'll be able to go home tonight'

His eyes were heavy, sleepy, but he forced them open slowly and his surroundings were recognisable, a white walled room with a blue curtain surrounding him.

'Looks like he heard us speaking'

The nurse nodded in Ste's direction, and Brendan turned as Ste opened his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief.

'Oh god Steven. You're awake'

'What happened?'

Ste's grip tightened on Brendan's hand as the nurse left.

'You fell unconscious when I was driving you back to mine and I couldn't wake you up, so I bought you here. I had to get Chez to officially emit you considering... the circumstances.'

Ste nodded. Of course, having your teacher take you to hospital wouldn't help their situation.

'Where's the kids? Are they alright?'

'Yeah they're fine. Chez is at home with them.'

Ste's head was thumping and he felt sick to his stomach, and his sensitive areas were still burning.

'Walker... He...'

He gulped, tried to swallow the lump in his throat, the mere thought of _him_ made his stomach churn.

'Shhh. Don't... Don't mention it okay? You're safe with me. I don't know where he's gone. I tried looking for him when Chez emitted you.'

'He raped me Brendan. He raped me'

Tears began to stream down his face, the memory imprinted in his head, the thoughts flooding back. What if he had hurt Leah and Lucas? What if he killed them? How the hell could he live with himself?

Brendan kissed Ste's knuckles again and stroked his forehead, clenched his free hand at the spine chilling thought. How fucking dare he. How dare he even think of hurting a young boy, with his kids next door.

'I know. Leah told me what she heard. It's okay. He's gunna get what's coming to him. I'll make sure of it.'

His eyes suddenly changed, anger and delusion possessing him.

'Bren promise me you won't do anything stupid. Please promise me. I don't want you getting into trouble'

His grip tightened on Ste's hand, his knuckles turning white.

'Ow! Brendan!'

He immediately loosened his hold.

'I can't promise anything Steven'

Xxx

Brendan held Ste around the waist and opened his front door, helped him inside seeing as it still hurt for him to walk.

'Daddy!'

Leah and Lucas threw their arms around Ste's waist, hugged him tightly and he winced in pain, but it didn't matter. They were safe now.

'Careful guys. Daddy still hurts a little bit'

They pulled away simultaneously, their eyes slightly guilty.

'Daddy, we stayed with Auntie Cheryl and we've done lots of colouring and we watched Mickey'

'Awww wow! Was Auntie Cheryl nice to you?'

Ste winked at her, and stoked a thumb down his daughter's cheek.

'Yeah! She was really nice. She said we can have another sleep over tonight and we can have popcorn, but I said that I didn't like salted, I only like sweet, but she said that's okay because she can get sweet popcorn from the shops.'

'Yeah don't you worry. Have you seen mummy yet?'

'No. Can mummy come and watch the film too?'

Ste looked at Brendan awkwardly. They had never met before and from what he has told Amy about Brendan, bringing her here may not be the best idea.

'Give her a call Steven. She needs to know'

Xxx

Cheryl opened the door and Amy walked in hesitantly. Leah threw herself into Amy's arms and when she saw Ste in the kitchen she automatically relaxed.

'Ste where the hell have you been?'

'In hospital'

'You what?!'

She put Leah on the sofa, gave her a quick kiss and ran over to him, inspected his face and arms.

'Amy stop you muppet. I'm okay now. I just... hurt a bit'

'Well what happened?'

He looked about the room, assessed Leah's whereabouts because he didn't want her to hear him reminiscing the experience, it'd damage her even more.

'I think we should go... somewhere a little more private'

He tugged on Amy's arm, tried to make his way to another room but winced as he stepped forward.

'Woah. Here you are. Go to my room. You can talk in there.'

Brendan slung Ste's arm around his neck, and helped him to the bedroom and Amy followed closely behind. She stared him down. Who the hell was this guy?

'I'm sorry, but who are you?'

Brendan stopped, put Ste on the bed, then straightened and held out a hand in greeting.

'Sorry. I'm Brendan'

Her face turned into a look of horror.

'So this is the bloke that broke your heart?! You want me to deck him for you Ste?'

She backed Brendan against the wall and grabbed at his collar, clenched a fist and prepared to punch him.

'Amy no! Let go of him. He saved my life'

Her expression changed as she looked Ste in the eye, she saw that he wasn't joking and was actually defending the guy who had threatened him more than once. Amy was like his best friend, so of course he told her everything that happened between him and Brendan. Well... almost everything.

'You what?'

'Sit down... please.'

He patted the spot next to him, and she perched on the end, put a hand tentatively on his knee.

'You were right Amy. About everything. The other night... Walker... He um... He poisoned me with Rohypnol. It's not the first time he's done it. Then he raped me while the kids were in the bedroom next door. Leah heard everything and she called Brendan and asked him for help. She were dead brave. He saved us. So if anything you should be thanking him that I am alive right now'

Amy's face was an expression of horror. She didn't know how to take all of this in. Things started falling into place. Leah's slightly strange behaviour, Ste's pain, Brendan's over protectiveness.

'He... raped you?! I told you he was dodgy! What did I say?'

'Yeah Ames I know. You were right.'

She stood up and unexpectedly pulled Brendan into a hug. It was slightly awkward seeing as she had threatened him only moments before but she did generally mean it.

'Thank you so much. If it wasn't for you then... my kids could...'

She need not finish her sentence. The very thought of her kids being hurt made her heart sink.

'It's okay. I won't hurt him again. I promise'

Ste smiled up at him, in awe of him.

'Well Steven, you have some work to catch up on. You owe me an essay'

Ste's eyes widened and he shook his head furiously, tried to shut him up and he threw his index finger over his lips.

'What's he on about?'

Fuck!

'Amy...Brendan is... he's my English teacher'

Xxx

Of course Amy wasn't okay with Ste going out with his teacher, but she accepted the fact that it was his choice. Her kids safety was her main priority and without Brendan, they could be dead right now. She took a little time to adjust to it. Who wouldn't? But in the end she accepted it, just like she accepted Ste's homosexuality.

xxx

Brendan was at home with Laura.

Ste was staying at Amy's for the night so he could make up for lost time with his children and Cheryl was out on the piss, so naturally, he needed some company and Laura was one of the few who really understood his predicament.

'So did you and Ste get back together then?'

'Sorta yeah'

'Why did you guys call it off in the first place?'

'It's a long story'

He handed a mug of tea to her and plonked on the sofa, spread an arm across the top.

'Yeah well, I have time'

She sat next to him, folded her legs underneath her petite frame and blew on her tea.

'Well... I errm...'

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Weird. Brendan wasn't expecting anyone.

'Just a sec'

He hopped off the sofa, opened the door to find two policemen.

'Are you Mr Brendan Brady?'

'Indeed I am, what can I help you with gentlemen?'

'Brendan Brady I am arresting you for suspicion of long term paedophilia'


	26. Unexpected Reconciliation

Chapter 26

'I'm sorry what?'

'You do not have to say anything but anything you do say can and will be used against you in court'

They flipped Brendan round and pinned him against the door, quickly frisking him for sharp objects, then cuffing him. What the fuck was happening?! Paedophilia?

'What the hell is going on here?!'

Laura jumped up and Brendan subtly whispered something in her ear before being dragged out of his flat.

Xxx

Ste limped into school the next day, still quite tender, but seeing Brendan would make everything okay, he knew it, only when he walked into class, Brendan wasn't there. Instead Laura sat at the desk, her expression, stiff and her face was pale.

'Um... Sit down guys. Mr Brady is... ill today... but he said that you should all know what you're doing so... away you go'

Ill? Brendan would have told Ste if he was ill. Something was going on here. He flicked his eyes in Laura's direction and caught her gaze, she mouthed to him;

_Stay here after class_

And he nodded.

Xxx

The bell went for break and Ste hobbled to the front desk.

'Where the hell is he?'

'He's been arrested.'

'What?! Why?!'

She gulped and ran her fingers through her hair. She hadn't slept or had a shower. Her eye's were heavy and black and smudged from her make-up and her hair was slightly greasy.

'They said something about paedophilia'

This was Walker's doing. He knew it. He could tell that he was obsessed with this 'Revenge' plot and now it was paying off. Ste wasn't going to let Brendan go down without a fight'

'Oh my god. We have to get him out of there!'

'That's what he said. He left me this'

She reached into her bag and pulled out Brendan's phone.

'Why've you got his phone?'

'He told me to give it to you. He said _Steven will know what to do, tell him to reconcile with his flesh and blood_. I dunno what he meant.'

What? How is Ste supposed to know that?! Flesh and blood? What the fuck? Why did Brendan have to leave a riddle?

'Reconcile with my flesh and blood? What the hell is he talking about?!'

'I dunno Ste but he is innocent. We need to get him out of there and fast, otherwise the principal will know something is wrong and we can't let it escalate to the point where the paparazzi get involved. He could lose everything'

'Fuck!'

He took Brendan's phone and slipped it into his pocket, walked out of the class, out of the English block and called Amy.

'Hey Amy... Look... I need your help'

'_Sure Ste what's wrong? Be quick coz I'm at work.'_

'It's Brendan... He's been arrested.'

'_What?! What for?'_

'Paedophilia apparently! It's Walker. He's made it all up'

'_Shit Ste. We gotta get him out of there!'_

Ste paused. Was Amy actually offering to help a man out of jail that she despised? Ste thought he'd have to get on his knees and beg.

'So... you'll help me... just like that?'

'_Yeah course I will! Despite the fact I don't really like him; he saved your life and protected our kids. The way I see it, I own him.'_

Xxx

The day had ended and Ste was heading back to Amy's but decided to stop off at the water fountain. It was one of the few places that made him feel at peace. He found it easy to think, the flowing of water and light splashing seemed to be a way of exerting his anger and frustration.

He delicately sat down and pulled out Brendan's phone from his pocket and stared at it.

'What do you want me to do? Please please please. Tell me what to do'

He bought the phone to his lips, searched his brain for something, anything.

He suddenly felt a presence behind him and jumped out of his skin, expecting the worst, but he was in fact surprised.

'Hey Ste'

Callum stood with his hands in his pockets, his legs shoulder width apart, but he bought an awkwardness to the atmosphere, especially seeing as they were still on bad terms.

'Oh... Hey. What are you doing here?'

Ste's tone wasn't rude as such, more unexpected, and suspicious. After months of Ste's begging and Callum's rejection, why now, after Brendan arrest would he suddenly come and talk to him?

'Can I?'

Callum nodded to the spot next to him.

'Yeah... sure'

He sat down and awkwardly put his hands between his knees.

'I heard about Mr B'

'What? How did you... Amy!'

'Yeah.'

A silence fell and Ste wasn't going to be the one to break it. He had missed Callum to bits, felt like a part of him was missing but he had more important things to deal with. It wasn't the time to have a pathetic tiff.

'Look... Ste... we need to talk... I have something to tell you'

Ste said nothing, he didn't really know what to say. He _had nothing_ to say in all honesty.

'I'm sorry, that I acted the way I did, when I found out about you and... Brendan'

His tone changed when he spoke Brendan's name. Not in disgust, but it didn't feel right coming off his tongue.

'Ste I umm... The reason I acted so bad is because I'm...not jealous...'

Jealous? No... No way.

'Wait a sec... are you trying to say what I think...Are you gay too? Do you have feelings for me or something?'

'No! God no. I errr...'

Ste was getting a little impatient. He couldn't sit around all day. He needed a plan and sufficient evidence to get Brendan out of custody.

'Look Callum, I don't mean to be rude, but I need to figure out how to get Brendan out of prison okay? I know you don't agree with what we have but I care about him'

Callum interrupted, practically shouted at him.

'I'm your brother!'

He buried his face in his hands, tried to hide himself and Ste was stunned. Was this some kind of joke?

'You what?'

'Ste we're brothers! Fuck sake. I've known since I was a boy, but I was told not to tell you. Your mum...Our mum... Jason... he... Mum gave birth to me and Jason thought he was the dad, but she said she couldn't cope with two kids so she put me into foster care, and when you were at that wedding... She got drunk right? She admitted that she cheated on your dad, and said I wasn't his son and that's why she ran next to the motorway because she was scared that Jason would leave her. He tried to stop her from jumping into the road and he was trying to tell her that he forgave her...'

Ste couldn't take it in. Callum was talking to fast and he suddenly felt the weight of the world on his shoulder. But it all made sense, every word. Callum wasn't at the wedding yet he knew everything that happened.

'What... Are you being...'

'Yes I am being serious. I never stopped caring about you brother. Never! I always got the lowdown on what was happening in your life. Argument or not, I gotta look out for my big bro, and I must admit... ever since you started seeing... him... you've been so different. You've been happy'

'So... Do you know about...'

'Walker? Yeah. Amy told me that too.'

Jesus Christ this was new. This was his point of insight, that tiny hole in his heart was now filled. He felt complete. He knew, deep in his bones he knew Callum wasn't lying.

'Shit'

Ste rested his head in his palms and he felt Callum's hand wrap around his shoulder.

'So what do you say brother? We gunna get your man outta prison or not?'

Callum held out his hand and Ste just looked at him, then slapped their palms together. He had only just found out but already he accepted it. They had been brothers all along and that is exactly how Ste had treated him. When they were in primary school, he had gotten himself into detention because he beat up one of the bullies that was picking on Callum.

'What's the plan?'

'You got his phone right? With pictures of you two on?'

'Yeah'

He threw it into Callum's hand and he examined it, slipped off the back and took out the battery.

'Yeah... I can work with this. Okay, here's what we're gunna do, you and me are gunna head back to... Brendan's place, I'll run home, grab my laptop, come back and I'll rewire his entire phone and the hard drive, hack into his photos, change the date's of when they were taken so it looks like you met him before he got his job, but after you turned 18. Then it looks like you have known him for two months prior to when he started working at our school.'

'Jesus Christ I have missed your nerdy talk!'


	27. Plan of Action

Chapter 27

Ste and Callum crashed through the door in unison, scaring the absolute crap out of Miya.

'Hey baby. It's only us'

Ste gave her a few comforting strokes behind her ear and kissed her wet nose.

'Aww. She's cute!'

Callum knelt on the floor and his face was licked to death in greeting.

'Yeah. Callum, don't get distracted from the main reason you're here yeah?!'

He wiped his face with the cuff of his jumper.

'Yeah. Sorry. Here you are'

He took out his phone and threw it in Ste's direction.

'Send all of your photo's and relevant texts to that phone okay? That is 'your phone' at the moment.'

'What? I don't get it... It's your phone...'

Callum cracked a smile. He loved confusing the hell out of people with his technical jargon.

'Yes... Ste that is my phone you pleb. But if you send all relevant texts and pictures to that phone, I can change the dates of everything. I work with my phone best of all. Yours is a bit weird. Plus the software in my laptop would need updating and I can't afford that at the moment.'

Ste just stared at him, bemused.

'I haven't got a fucking clue what you're talking about but... okay.'

'I'm gunna run home and grab my gear alright? I'll be back in about 10 minutes.'

With that, he ran out of the door and Ste slumped on the sofa and patted the spot next to him, indicating for Miya to hop up. She seemed to refuse and continued to stare at the door. Ste whistled lightly, her ear only giving the slightest flicker.

'Miya. Oi'

She quickly glanced at him, then lay her head on her paws and Ste slid down next to her, folding an arm underneath him and resting his chin on his wrist.

'Do you miss daddy eh?'

She whimpered slightly, and Ste assumed that was in confirmation.

'Aww baby, I miss him too. Don't worry. Me and Callum will sort it out okay?'

He stroked down her lean body and rubbed between her ears, kissing her nose again, before climbing back on the sofa.

He took out his own phone and began to do as instructed, sending all photos of him and Brendan to Callum's phone. As he flicked through, he flushed red at some of them. He came across one where he was in London, in the hotel, shirtless and straddling Brendan's lap.

'Oh dear god'

He giggled to himself and flicked to the next.

'OH DEAR GOD!'

This one was... let's say slightly worse. In all honesty, he couldn't remember taking it, but none the less, it was a smoking hot photo of Brendan.

'Okay... That is not getting sent to Callum'

Once he was finished with all the photos, it was now time for forwarding the texts.

'Right... this should be interesting'

Ste mumbled and he scanned through them quickly.

'That one is about sex... that's about sex... Jesus, that's definitely about sex!'

No way in hell was he going to forward 'sext's' to Callum's phone. He would get too much satisfaction out of reading them, and he'd absolutely rip the shit out of him.

At that moment, Callum entered the door, carrying his laptop and a silver case, panting deeply. He'd obviously been running.

'What's in the trunk?'

'A whole lot of junk brother'

'Soo... you have junk in your trunk? You filthy bastard!'

Ste grabbed him around the neck and pressed his knuckles to his head.

'Get off me you idiot. I need to set up'

Ste let go and moved, what appeared to be MOK papers off the table, clearing a large space.

'Callum... Um... Do you _need_ lots of texts?'

Callum put down his laptop and turned it on, placing the silver case down gently next to it.

'I need as much as I can. The more proof we have, the better chance we have of getting him out... why?'

He chanced a look at Ste, who was picking at his fingernails.

'Don't tell me you deleted them!'

'No! God no'

He could never bring himself to delete Brendan's filthy talk. Sometimes he couldn't resist re-reading it.

'Then... Oh god... It's not full of sex talk is it?'

'Urmmm...'

Ste went all shifty and embarrassed, covering his face with his hands when Callum grimaced.

'Jesus... Yes it is kinda needed. I'll try and refrain from reading it.'

'Please do'

'And I'm the filthy one?!'

Ste threw Callum's phone back.

'Shut up and do your thing. There's some pictures I didn't send... coz... well let's say they were inappropriate for your young eyes.'

'Hey! I'm only a year younger. Shut up'

'Well do you seriously wanna see Brendan naked? Jesus his body is so lush... he has a massive-'

'Okay! Okay! No need for that!'

Callum shuddered at the thought and tried to divert himself to opening the case.

'Wow... What's all that for?!'

Ste's jaw dropped, when he saw the wires, crocodile clips, mini screwdrivers, a soldering iron, replacement hard drives and every other piece of technical equipment.

'All of this, is what's gunna get your man out of jail my brother.'

Everything was slotted in an individual cut out piece of black sponge. Like in a James Bond movie, when he gets given all of his gadgets.

'Wow... I'll leave you to it. I'll go take Miya out for a walk and buy her some dog food on the way back. How long will this take?'

Callum exhaled deeply, lightly shaking his head.

'I dunno. Could take a couple of days. Maybe a week. The work is slow, but if you want it done properly, you have to give it time.'

'Shit. Let's hope Laura can cover Brendan that long'

Ste began to bite on his nails, it always became a habit when he was nervous.

'Dude that'll be piss. Say he has the flu. Or meningitis.'

'I'll figure something out. Anyway... I'll see you in a bit. By the way, if a blonde woman with big boobs comes in, it's Brendan's sister.'

Xxx

Ste took Miya around the park, throwing the ball as far as he could. It was pathetic in comparison to Brendan's throws, but Miya was getting a good run around none the less.

'Ste!'

He turned at the familiar, feminine, Irish accent

'Alright Cheryl. Where've you been?'

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

'I've been on the phone to Brendan's lawyer. He's coming over tomorrow to discuss the 'plan of action' as it were'

'Lawyer? Yeah... That's mint. We'll get him out of there Cheryl. Don't worry'

Her face creased slightly and she forced herself not to cry, inhaling deeply and putting on a smile. She always got emotional about her big brother, thinking that he won't be able to cope.

'I'm gunna go home love. Get some sleep. You want me to take Miya off your hands?'

'Na. I'll walk her about a few more times. Couldn't pop to the shop and grab some dog food though could you?'

'Yeah course. I'll see you in a bit'

She kissed him again on the cheek and patted his arm, before turning and walking off.

'No wait! Chez!'

She came to an abrupt halt.

'Callum is back at Brendan's place. He wants to help get him out. Just thought I'd let you know, so you don't go home and end up hitting him with a frying pan coz you think he's a burglar or something'

She cracked a smile and nodded.

'Who's Callum? Like, What is he to you?'

'He my best... He's my brother'

That was definitely something that he was going to have to get used to. Having someone be your best friend for as long as you can remember and then suddenly finding out he is your brother isn't something you manage to adjust to quickly.

Xxx

Ste arrived home to see Cheryl and Callum looking through his phone. Cheryl screamed and covered her mouth with her palm in shock

'Oh god! That is pure filth!'

'Oi! What you doing?!'

Ste ran over and snatched his phone back.

'You and my brother are so fowl mouthed! I am appalled!'

'You haven't seen him in bed Cheryl. He's an animal'

Ste winked and thrust his hips forward slightly, sticking his tongue out sensually. Cheryl and Callum threw their fingers in their ears in unison, screaming and shuddering.

'Ew ew ew!'

Xxx

Cheryl, Ste and Callum were all piled on the sofa, duvet spread over them, popcorn in hand and watching a film. It was Movie Monday and even if Brendan wasn't here... They couldn't miss Move Monday. They were watching the campest film that they could find. Dirty Dancing. Partly because Ste and Cheryl loved it and partly because they wanted Callum to feel as uncomfortable as possible.

'Oft... Johnny is so sexy'

'Isn't he just love. I wouldn't mind a piece of that.'

Ste and Cheryl were merely fantasising as Callum cringed in the corner.

'You guys. Seriously'

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and all three of them sighed simultaneously.

'Eurgh. I'll get it.'

Ste clambered over Callum and Cheryl and hopped to the door.

'Hey'

Ste was gobsmacked to find Ricki standing there, hands folded nervously in front of him.

'Uh-Hi. What're you doing here?'

'Can I have a word?'

'Sure'

Ste turned to the side and Ricki walked in hesitantly, stunned to see Callum on the sofa.

'What's he doing here?!'

'Callum it's cool. He's alright'

Callum shot up none the less, dashing to Ste's side. Despite the fact that Ste was older, Callum was a fairly bit taller and more muscular. Having him on your side during a fight would definitely work to your advantage. He and Ricki were well matched.

'I heard about... about Brendan'

'Who told you?'

Callum snapped. He and Ricki weren't particularly acquainted, although he knew Ricki was responsible for the poisoning and his relation to Walker.

'Umm...'

'Callum. Chill out a bit yeah? Let him speak.'

Ste put a hand on Callum's shoulder tentatively and pulled him back slightly. Ricki obviously felt threatened as he continued to fiddle with his hands.

'I just... I just want you to know, that I'm here if you need help. To get him out I mean'

That surprised the pair of them. They were speechless in fact.

'I'm sorry what?'

'I told Walker that I'm not gunna work for him anymore.'

Callum glanced at Ste, then back at Ricki.

'When did you tell him that?'

He was suspicious. You don't just say something like that to a guy like Walker and then get away with it. Ste knew that.

'Well... I haven't actually told him yet... But I wanna help. Brendan is a top man.'

'Sorry but why do you call him by his first name?!'

Ste started getting defensive. Something was going on that he hadn't been told about.

'You know when we had that fight in the corridor?'

How could Ste forget?

'He didn't actually take me to the Head's office. He took me outside; let me cool off for a bit and we had a chat. Don't worry, it wasn't anything like that. He asked me when I was gunna come out, knew everything straight away. He helped me quite a bit actually and I wanna return the favour.'

Again, everything made sense now! After Ste and Ricki had that fight, they hadn't exchanged a word after that. Ricki must have seen it as some sort of blackmail, because he hadn't come out to anyone as far as Ste knew and Brendan easily had the power to expose him.

'Oh... Well... That's cool. Thanks Ricki.'

Callum intervened again.

'How do you know Brendan lives here?'

Ricki froze on the spot, dodging all eye contact.

'He um...He bought me here to...'

He stuttered over his words, his eyes shifting all over the room. Everywhere but Ste's face.

'Did you sleep with my boyfriend?!'

Ste walked into his personal space. He wasn't angry as such. He just wanted to intimidate him, patronize him and make him feel small and vulnerable.

'No... No... I kissed him but he pulled back straight away. He said he loved someone else'

'Oh yeah?! And when was this?'

'The day after he beat your Uncle John'

Ste wasn't even going to ask how he knew about Uncle John's beating. Ricki new all sorts about him but he didn't care, because he knew Ricki wouldn't say anything. He had too much to lose. Callum pulled Ste back by his elbow, stood in front of him and whispered.

'Relax. We need as much help as we can get.'

He turned back to Ricki, who was hanging his head in shame. Brendan was just trying to be helpful, offer a shoulder to cry on. Of course he wasn't hitting on the boy.

'Why did you kiss him?'

Ste asked over Callum's shoulder, determined not to throw himself forward and smack him again.

'I got the wrong idea. My dad asked me if I was... You know...I denied it and then he went on a rant saying how disgusting it is. Just got to me a bit and he bought me back here for a chat that's all'

Ste could tell if someone was lying to him and Ricki wasn't. He had a strange friendship with Ricki in a way, they shared a common ground. Both had lost a parent. Both had been blamed for the death of that parent and both had been a victim of homophobic comments and prejudice.

'Ste... I also want you to know that Walker wasn't the one who called the police on him'

Callum turned back, a frown creased above his forehead.

'Course it was-'

'No... It wasn't. I asked him and he denied it to my face. He would tell me if he did, but he knew it had happened. I dunno... I think he got someone else to do it. It wasn't me before you jump to conclusions. Just... be careful who you trust.'

'Oh well that's rich coming from you. How do we know you're not just here to get into our heads?'

It was Callum who got into his personal space now, their noses almost touching. It was strange that Ste was slightly aroused seeing Ricki so close to another guys face.

'Woah Callum. Just... chill. Ricki is okay. He knows stuff about me and I know stuff about him. He wouldn't do that unless he wanted his life ruined even more'

Ste turned, took a deep breath and puffed out his chest slightly. Trying to be the tough guy really didn't suit him.

'You even think about going behind my back Ricki... then someone's daddy is going to be very upset okay?'

Xxx

Ste came down stairs the next morning to find Brian sitting on the sofa.

'Brian... what the hell are you doing here?'

'Ahh. Mr Hay. Good to see you again Sir'

He held out a hand and Ste shook it delicately, lightly slapping a palm to Brian's bicep. Brian always looked like a man who was relatively fragile.

'Oi. We had this discussion in London. It's Ste'

'Apologies. Anyway I am Mr Brady's lawyer'

'You?'

Ste question him, his eyebrows pulling together in a frown. Brian returned to his spot on the sofa, and sipped some coffee of which Ste assumed Cheryl had made.

'Yes I was a lawyer for 20 years. Retired now of course, but I still do some private cases if needs be. I now own the hotel and run it with my grandson Jake, do you remember?'

Of course Ste couldn't forget the timid young lad. It was strange though. He couldn't imagine Brian doing any such Law work. He did have a very posh way of speaking, which he considered could work in their favour. He was a man of principal. Definitely organised and strategic. Nothing could get passed Brian.

'Yeah. I remember.'

'I owe Mr Brady a favour. This is my repayment to him'

Ste sat next to him and snatched some of Callum's tea.

'Oi. I saw that you cheeky git!'

Callum was nose deep in re-wiring and hacking Brendan's phone to care.

'Why do you owe him?'

'Well when I was attempting to set up the hotel, I came into some trouble. My wife unfortunately passed and I found it a struggle to run the business and Mr Brady stepped in. He was the one who truly launched it; ran that hotel for over 2 years. Took no such credit at all. A fine gentleman I must say. I am forever in his debt'

'Wow. I'm sorry'

Ste huffed and at that moment, Cheryl bounded in from the kitchen with two more cup's of tea. Of course her bright and bubbly mood spoilt the moment of nostalgia, but Ste was kind of glad that the moment had passed.

'Right. Let's get started'

She plonked on the sofa next to Ste and Brian began talking in such terms that Ste didn't understand. He merely sipped on his tea and allowed Cheryl to listen.

'Young Hedge's over there has already told me what he is up to, and that is indeed fool proof. You have some good brains on you young Sir'

Callum held up his thumb in thanks and continued with his hacking, sticking his tongue out in concentration.

'I have also given him the CCTV footage of the time in which you visited us. He has agreed to do what he has to do with that if it is needed. Now...Your birthday is September 8th is that correct Mr Hay?'

'Yes. Brian...It's Ste.'

'Apologies Sir and Mr Brady started working at the school November 7th, roughly two months after your birthday and in this time, our story is, that you and Mr Brady met in that period of time, if we have any chance in saving his job as well. The exact date in which you supposedly met is fairly irrelevant, so long as it is in that two month period. The CCTV and pictures of your... experience should back that up'

Ste blushed in embarrassment. It was odd talking about his gay love life with a fifty odd year old man.

Cheryl merely nodded in confirmation, an odd _mhm_ and _yup_ every so often.

'Well that's it really. I think we have a very strong case and due to the circumstances, it isn't long until the court case. In fact it is in three days time at noon, to which Mr Hedges said he should be finished with his technical adjustments. I must be heading off now as I have an appointment with Mr Brady, in which I must discuss our plan of action'

Brian stood, and held out a hand, which Ste again took and then he pulled him into a hug.

'Thank you. So much. Tell him I love him will you?'

'I shall. Not a problem sir. He is a decent young man. You are too'


	28. Court

Chapter 28

It was the day of the court case and Ste was more nervous than he'd anticipated. His leg was bouncing up and down, skin felt unusually hot and his heart was racing. He hadn't even left the house yet but images of what could_ potentially_ be kept running through his head. What if the plan didn't work? What if Brendan was found guilty and put away? What would happen to their relationship? Ste's chest felt dense at the thought, heart felt empty. If Brendan wasn't in his life, then _he_ had no purpose.

'Don't worry Ste. Brian said we have a good case. Everything will be okay'

Callum called from the dining room table, tried to comfort him with a reassuring smile, adding the finishing touches to his phone. Ste ran over the plan in his head, had thought of nothing else but he knew that this story needed to be perfect, couldn't let his nerves falter him otherwise he'd suffer the consequences. The room was silent for a while, the minute thudding of Ste's foot against the floor being the only sound.

A knock at the door broke the silence, startled the both of them.

'It's open!'

Ste called croakily, knew who it was at the door. Brian then entered, smartly suited with a briefcase in hand, the usual, kind smile spread across his face. Ste and Callum greeted him with juxtaposing smiles, vacuous ones.

'Nervous are we son?'

The older man took a seat next to Ste and put a comforting hand on his knee. If it were anyone else, excluding Brendan of course, he'd feel uncomfortable but Brian reminded Ste of his dad, the kind nature of him. The Mancunian nodded in confirmation, the bouncing of his leg coming to a slow halt, Brian's touch seeming to relax him somewhat.

'It'll be fine. Our story is very strong and we have sufficient evidence. You're brother has done a fabulous job'

Brian said softly, tipping his head to try to catch Ste's avoidant gaze. Callum coughed in modesty, seemed to be quite pleased with himself and his contribution which initiated a small smile from Ste, an acute curl forming in the corner of his mouth. Callum's comedic persona always managed to crack a smile from everyone, even in the darkest of times.

'Okay... All done'

He said, tearing himself away from the dining table which was replete with electrical equipment, scattered about all over the place, disorganized but that was how he always worked, stated the Einstein himself had had a messy desk. He took himself over to where Ste and Brian were sitting patiently, slipped the battery back into the phone and tapped down the back.

'There you go. Good as new... Sort of'

He flipped the device into the air, Ste catching it skillfully before Callum could even attempt to reclaim it.

'So I just give this to them yeah?'

Ste asked, shooting a concerned look in Brian's direction, eyebrows knitting together.

'If the judge requests it then yes. He may not wish to see it, but it's better to be prepared, to have the odds in our favour. Yourself, Miss Brady and myself are his _only_ defense, the only ones who can provide solid evidence of Mr Brady's innocence. The modifications that have been made by Mr Hedges-'

'Brian please... Call me Callum'

Callum interrupted, his voice monosyllabic as if he had repeated the request multiple times before.

'Apologies. The modifications made by _Callum_ support us heavily. The plan if fool proof as long as you have the story memorized'

'Right'

He replied, slipping the phone into his suit pocket, trying to not feel overcome by the pressure that had just been loaded onto him. Brendan's fate was in _his_ hands now.

* * *

'Order. All rise and quiet in the court please.'

The chatter and exchange of pleasantries calmed down quickly, everyone standing as requested to show their respect to the judge, hands folded in front of them. A tall, slim man, roughly in his 60's walked through a large, oak door, a red robe wrapped around him and a wig upon his head, half moon glasses low on the bridge of his nose. His appearance only made Ste more nervous, it highlighted the seriousness, how severe the outcome could be if the odds _weren't_ in his favour.

'Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Please be seated'

He said, nodding politely and settling down in his large, black leather chair.

'Bring him in please'

The judge said, looking over the rim of his glasses at Brian and Ste, didn't seem to have any opinion on them yet. Brendan was bought behind a pane of glass by two court officers, dressed in his smartest suit that Cheryl had given to him the previous day during visiting hours. The sight of him took Ste's breath away, made his stomach flip wildly. He seemed to have put on some weight in muscle, shoulders broader, pectorals and abdominals neatly defined underneath his shirt. The boy couldn't take his eyes off him, the novelty still hadn't worn off. Brendan Brady, tall, dark, rich, successful and gorgeous was _his_ boyfriend. Was in_ love_ with _him_.

'This is the case of Brendan Brady, accused of long term paedophilia upon Steven Hay and _supposedly_ others. Maximum sentence is 6 years imprisonment and lifelong registration on the sex offenders list. Mr Brady's plea is not guilty. Defence you may proceed.'

Brian stood and adjusted his tie, didn't seem particularly nervous but his experience of court cases obviously worked in his favour. He organised the papers in front of him, looked subtly to his left and gave Ste a small, reassuring smile.

'Your honour, events took place back in the beginning of August last year when Mr Brady moved out of London and became settled in Chester, ready to pursue his passion of teaching. As you know he had been busy running his businesses in London as well as Ireland. Mr Hay and Mr Brady had never met at this point. However, Mr Hay was already acquainted with Mr Brady's sister, Cheryl Brady when they met unexpectedly in the street. The two kept in contact, but then Miss Brady announced that she was going back to Belfast for a few months, evidence of which we have bought with us if you wish to see.'

The judge nodded in interest. The officer at his side took some papers that Brian held in his hands and gave them to the judge for analysis. He peered over the frame of his glasses, eyes scanning the highlighted text.

'As you can see in mid August, Miss Brady purchased flights to Belfast. Herself and Mr Hay decided to meet for the final time before her trip, in which he was introduced to Miss Brady's brother for the first time. The pairing got along well and again stayed in contact although they didn't meet again until the start of the school term, in which Mr Brady got a job as a supply teacher in Mr Hay's school due to another teacher falling ill. Mr Hay and Mr Brady did indeed meet for the first time when Mr Hay was only 17. However the second time they met, in a schooling environment, Mr Hay had already turned 18, his birthday being at the start of September. In October, a couple of months after meeting, the pair confirmed a relationship'

'Evidence of the relationship at this time?'

The judge asked, removing his glasses and indicating between Ste and Brendan. This was Ste's time now. He stood with confidence, quickly glanced over at Brendan, still trapped behind the glass. The sight of the man made him feel as if he had been punched in the gut, his skin prickling because they had been apart for weeks on end. He yearned to be close to him, to have those muscular arms wrapped around him.

'Your honour, may I provide my evidence?'

He requested, breath and voice quivering as he suffered the scrutiny of everyone's gaze. He wondered how Brian did it, how he could simply overrule everyone staring at him.

'You may'

Ste took a deep breath and pulled out the thing that could make or break this case. His phone.

'Urm... On my phone, I have pictures of me and... Mr Brady.'

It felt strange calling him Mr Brady again. It was essential at school as knowing teacher's first names was abnormal, suggested something more intimate.

'As said, Myself and Mr Brady were acquainted in August and these pictures were taken towards the end of September and beginning of October when we officially confirmed our relationship. We continued to meet outside of the school grounds because it was evidently inappropriate to carry our personal lives into the school. Within the classroom, myself and Mr Brady were nothing more than Student and Teacher. We kept it professional. These pictures not only prove our relationship, but act as more of a documentary. As you'll see if you so wish, no photo's have been taken before the stated dates, only after.'

The judge nodded in affirmation, holding out a hand, waiting for the court officer to place the phone inside. The room was silent for what seemed like forever, Ste's heart thudding against the walls of his chest, so loud that he was sure everyone else could hear it too. Again he skimmed through the relevant photographs, his face expressionless.

'I see. Thank you very much Mr Hay'

The case went on for about an hour after that, Brian's further statements being objected by the opposition, the plaintiff wishing to _stay anonymous_ through out this case which made Ste's blood boil. The fact that this person was throwing accusations around, yet not having the decency nor the courage to put forward a face or a name made him livid, irate in fact. It made him wonder why Brendan got arrested in the first place, how someone anonymous could get him taken away and trialed without any proof at all.

'I've reached a verdict'

The judge said, organizing the papers and notes in front of him, having to calm the court down again as people began to speculate about Brendan and whether he was innocent or guilty.

'The evidence is highly in favour of Mr Brady's innocence. Mr Hay and Mr Brady's relationship bloomed when the young man was of a legal age, their current status _has_ been handled professionally and I therefore find Mr Brendan Brady, innocent. Let him be released immediately. That'll be all.'

The judge said nothing more, only stood and went back through the oak door from which he had entered at the start. Ste sighed in relief, let his head fall into his palms as he began to sob in happiness., the court room errupting with the sound of clapping from Brian and Cheryl.

'Total success. What did I say?'

'God Brian you're amazing!'

Ste threw himself into Brian's arms, forgot about his age and fragility, didn't particularly care about it either because he didn't know how much this meant to Ste, how _his_ existence was co-dependent with Brendan's. They were _nothing_ without each other, _had_ nothing without each other.

'We did it!'

Cheryl squealed, tears of joy streaming down her rosy cheeks. Ste put an arm around her broad shoulders and invited her into the hug, loose strands of her blonde hair tickling the side of his cheek.

'Come on, we'd better go and get him'

Cheryl said, taking hold of Ste's wrist and dragging him out of the court room. They ran down the marble floored corridor hand in hand, their screams of delight ricocheting against the walls, Cheryl's hair falling out from the pins that held it together. They threw open the doors that lead to the foyer, had everyone staring at them as they made their abrupt entrance but they didn't care. The moment Ste saw Brendan his heart fluttered, felt like it was going to leap into his throat and his breath hitched as butterflies flew aimlessly in his stomach. He broke into a sprint again, crossed the lobby at lightening speed and threw his weight at Brendan's concrete body, landed in his arms with a small thud, although the Irishman's stance didn't falter. He gripped onto his boy for dear life, was determined to never be separated from him again, felt like the two of them had defied gravity and fate.

'God I've missed you so much!'

Ste mumbled into his neck, inhaled the older man, his scent being one of the things he had missed the most. Ste had stayed at Brendan's house when himself, Cheryl and Callum had been preparing for the case. On certain nights, the boy had missed Brendan so much he'd run his hands over the clothes that lay unworn in the wardrobe, would take out one of the suits and bring the collar to his nose. The smell of Brendan's aftershave had been the same since the day they'd met.

'I missed you _so_ much more'

Brendan huffed, touching Ste's feet to the floor. The boy gazed up at him through his long lashes, looked at the man as if he were the sun, the star that his life evolved around. Brendan pressed their lips together, the softness and the wet heat initiating a grumble from the pit of his stomach, deep and primal. He flicked his tongue along Ste's bottom lip teasingly and pulled away, noted the delay in which Ste opened his eyes. His pupils were blown, and his lips were glistening, breath slightly heavy and laboured.

'He did well love. Him and Callum have been angels.'

Cheryl stated as she put her hair back up into a tight knot, a single curl hanging in front of her face. Brendan tucked Ste underneath his right arm, his left curling around his sister's waist and pulling her into him, her long arms circling his neck.

'Thank you guys so much. I love you.'

The three remained in a warm embrace, simply enjoyed the presence of each other's company. A hole had been created when Brendan had been whisked away, the house seemingly more empty and quiet, the food in the fridge lasting more than a day.

'Do I not get a hug sir?'

Brian's voice came between the three of them, light hearted and content as usual. Brendan loosened his grip from his lover and sister, took some minute steps forward towards the older man, his saviour, and he swung his arms around Brian's neck, held him close like a father would with his son. That is what this man had been to him over the years.

'Thank you so much. I owe you' He whispered, patted the man on the back lightly, seemingly more aware of Brian's sensitivity than Ste.

'Oh no Sir. It is I who is forever in your debt. If Margret could see you now she'd be very proud'

The mere mention of Margret's name stirred something in Brendan that he couldn't comprehend. An ache in his gut, swelling in his chest, prickle of his skin. He pulled away from his father figure, stared at his aged face and murky eyes, guarded like a prison, yet open like a canyon. He was apologetic for bringing her up, yet it seemed necessary, seemed legitimate for him to talk about her as she was Brian's universe, much like how Ste is Brendan's and vice versa.

'Seeing me exiting a court? I don't think so'

Brendan huffed, deemed it necessary to make light of the situation, had to put _their_ success in the spot light rather than mourn.

'No she'd be proud that you have found a young man who loves you, that you've pursued your passion. She loved you, you know? Like a son.'

He repressed his emotions, swiped away a tear before it could trickle down his cheek. The man giggled in embarrassment, still wounded by the looks of things. Of course, who wouldn't be if they had lost their soul mate? Brendan had come close to that, nearly lost the man he loved to another.

'Anyway I was delayed in exiting the court as Judge Knowels wanted a word. He stated that your innocence will result in a personal word to the school, ensuring that your job is kept.'

'Jesus Christ'

Brendan pulled him into another hug, cherished the moment in which everything was going right for him. He had his boy back, won the court case with ease, kept his job. Nothing could be more perfect.

'You have a delightful young man on your arm Mr Brady. Keep him.'

Ste's face flushed red from the flattery, dimples concaving his cheeks with embarrassment. Brendan reached out a hand, interlocked his fingers with the Mancunian's and dragged him into his space, ran his fingertips down the boy's scarlet cheeks.

'Yeah. I will'

* * *

Callum had remained at Brendan's house during the case. He felt like he had no purpose, felt like he didn't hold any real evidence. His presence wasn't particularly necessary. Besides, Miya needed a walk, needed to be fed and Callum, the animal lover that he is, was all up for that. It was Cheryl who entered the flat first, her golden hair sitting on her shoulders. Her face creased in adoration when she saw Miya on top of Callum, her large, fluffy head snuggled under his chin.

'Was it okay? What happened? Did you get him out?'

Callum asked, seemed slightly panicked because he couldn't handle the superfluous tension. It had been playing on his mind all day and he questioned; what would Ste's life be without Brendan? No doubt dark and treacherous, a path carved by the Devil, a road that'd be littered with obstacles, so much so that it'd be impossible to find his way back.

However Callum's fears were drowned in a pail of water as Ste walked through the door, an idyllic smile on his face, fingers locked with the Irishman's who too made his entrance. His tie lay loose and undone, hanging down his shoulders, top button undone and sleeves rolled up, his jacket slung over his forearm.

'We did it!'

Ste screamed, letting go of Brendan's hand and throwing himself into his brother's arms, so hard that they tumbled onto the sofa with a small thud and minute grunt. Miya went wild, her tale wagging erratically, tongue hanging out of her mouth and ears standing on end.

'Hey baby! I missed you so much! Come here!'

Brendan cooed, bending at the knees and tapping on his thighs with his open palms. She bounded towards him with instinctive loyalty, launched herself off the floor with the power in her hinde legs and landed in the older man's arms. He crashed to the floor from her weight, curled up into a ball as she tried to lick his face excessively. He circled his arm around her neck and pulled her down next to him, rubbed firmly behind her ear and stroked her tummy.

'Has Steven been looking after you? I bet he has'

He asked, Miya's eyes bright and content, tail still dragging across the floor. Ste and Callum continued to play fight on the sofa, landing soft punches to the ribs and slaps in the face, the usual brotherly banter.

'Ow... Okay no get off. Get off me you pleb!'

Ste protested, bringing his knees up to his chest in defence. Callum gave him one last slap and got to his feet, shoved his palm in his brother's face as some sort of leverage.

'Callum'

Brendan's voice came from behind him, deep and earnest. The atmosphere changed completely, Cheryl whispering 'Gunna make a brew' and wondering off into the kitchen, Miya's chaotic behaviour coming to an abrupt halt. In Callum's eyes there was still some bad blood between them especially after his outburst in the canteen all of those months ago.

'Thank you.'

Brendan said warmly, holding out a hand with a smile on his face, Miya sat obediently by his side, her gaze flicking between the two men as if she could sense the tension that lurked there.

'Urmm. You're welcome. I'm sorry about what I said, ages ago... about you being a pervert. I didn't mean it... I was just mad...'

'It's okay. You're a good lad and I thank you _again_ for what you've done for me. Without you, I'd probably be behind bars right now.'

Brendan commended, taking hold of Callum's nervous hand and mending the broken bridge that once stood between them.

'It was nothing. Really. Anything for my big brother'

He glanced back at Ste who was sitting gingerly on the sofa, his eyes glistening in awe and bottom lip held captive between his teeth.

'Bren?'

Ste asked, untangling his legs from beneath him and getting to his feet.

'Yeah?'

He replied, letting go of Callum's hand and pulling his shirt out from the rim of his trousers, wanted to regain some comfort in his home seeing as he'd had none while he'd been held in custody, the rights of privacy breached.

'How did you know?'

The boy asked in curiosity, slinging his suit jacket off and hauling it onto the back of the sofa, pulling out his keys and phone and placing them onto the glass coffee table.

'How did I know what?'

'How did you know me and Callum were brothers?'

The Irishman collapsed onto the sofa, his arm laying comfortably on the back while Cheryl bought a mug of tea in for them all, placing them delicately on the table. Brendan felt no need to keep secrets from the boy anymore, he _had_ him back in his life now and was sure as hell that he wasn't going to let him slip through his fingers again, was going to be what ever he needed to be in order to keep him.

'Says on the records that Callum is fostered and he let it slip when we had a little chat the day after he caught us in class...'

Brendan cut off awkwardly, seemingly still embarrassed by what had occurred that night.

'We were on bad terms but despite our argument he always wanted to know how you were. I couldn't deny him the rights to his family.'

Brendan clarified, taking a sip of his tea and closing the conversation, allowing his head to loll back against the pillows.

'So I know everything Ste. _Everything.'_

He gave his brother a knowing look, a darkness lurking there that only Ste could fathom. It was something comprehensible though. Callum knew what it was like having to keep a secret. He'd kept his brother hood a secret for his whole life.

* * *

Later on that evening the four of them sat comfortably around the T.V, taking the opportunity to put the court case and all of the preposterous accusations behind them. Ste felt no need to hold back on the Personal Displays of Affection as it seemed justifiable, he hadn't seen his lover in weeks. Hadn't touched him, kissed him, been able to tell him that he loved him.

The boy made himself comfortable in the Irishman's lap, legs either side in a straddling position, arms circled around his neck and fingers playing with the small hairs at the nape of his neck.

'I missed you so much'

Ste whined, had said it a million times but no matter how many times he repeated it, it still didn't suffice, didn't measure to how he felt.

'Awww. I missed you too.'

Brendan crooned, resting their foreheads together and rubbing his hands up and down Ste's back amiably, familiarizing himself with the boy's body in an intimate manner.

'Every inch of you'

Ste purred, taking hold of his bottom lips between his pearly white teeth, eyes dark and suggestive, eyebrows sensually hung low. He moved in for the kiss, a slow and sensual lip movement that started to drive him crazy. He was hooked again, addicted the man, and the time that they had spent apart felt like a sinuous detox, was practically torture.

'You guys... seriously. I ain't got nothing against gays, but you could at least keep it to a minimum!'

Callum squirmed at the end of the sofa, tried to focus his attention on the T.V but felt drawn to looking at the pair despite how much it disturbed him. Ste decided to play on his brother's discomfort, let out a small groan and accentuated the noise of every kiss and chewed on his lover's bottom lip.

'EW! Guys seriously!'

Callum cupped his hand around his eyes, gave Cheryl a look as if to ask for her back up.

'Don't worry love, you get used to it'

She stated, dragging her eyes away from the T.V momentarily to glance at Callum and give a dull, reassuring smile. Ste let out a small, triumphant giggle and released Brendan's lip from between his teeth, licked the indentations that he'd caused on the older man's plush, pink skin.

'Come on Callum. I haven't seen him in weeks.'

The younger man seemed to reason with Ste's justification, his head tipping to the side in understanding, bottom lip jutting out.

'Fair point. Right I don't mind you kissing him but just chill out. Literally looks like the beginning of a porn video or something.'

'You've been watching gay porn?!'

Ste gasped teasingly, throwing a hand over his mouth and widening his eyes in comical horror.

'No that's not what I mean. Fuck sake'

'I'm joking you pleb. I'm gunna make a brew. You want one Bren?'

He asked, hopping off of his lover's lap and skipping to the kithen, the joy of their success still a novelty.

'Sure'

He flicked on the kettle and was in the process of putting in the alarming 3 sugars that Brendan had in his coffee when he felt a pair of muscular arms cirulate his waist, making him flinch and spill sugar over the marble counter.

'Jesus. You scared me. Have... have you been working out?'

The boy asked, turning in Brendan's embrace and running his hands up the Irishman's forearms.

'Nothing else to do in custody'

The older man replied, pulling the boy's smaller body into his chest and pressing his lips to his forehead. Ste's palms and fingers wound around Brendan's biceps, his stomach flipping at the new size and feel of them, large and toned and strong. All moisture in his mouth dried up from his arousal, blood rushing to his groin and skin beginning to prickle.

'My god. They feel so good.'

The feel of Brendan's muscles, the sight of his pink lips and smell of his gorgeous aftershave sent Ste to the edge of insanity, felt like he was about to fall into an abyss, gone and lost forever. His breath came out in long, timed intervals, wavering and shaking. His hands started to tremble, heart beating erratically inside his body like a persistent drum.

It was Brendan who moved in for the kiss this time. He backed Ste against the counter and dominated his lips, his fingers threading through the boy's hair and tongue sliding out into Ste's mouth, licking inside the wet heat. It initiated a deep, primal grumble, the vibrations shooting over his synapses, his boy's touch making his heart leap into his throat, choke almost. Ste pushed on his chest, forced him backwards into the hallway out of sight from Callum and Cheryl, their lips never parting. Brendan hit the wall with a small thud, wind being knocked out of his, a moan rolling off his tongue which Ste drunk down, got intoxicated by it.

The Irishman forced Ste's legs open with a small dig of his knee, filled the newly made gap with his thigh and rested his hip comfortably against the boy's groin and gyrated his pelvis against him, dragged his body upwards and rubbed Ste's hard on.

'You could cum from this couldn't you? Me rubbing against you.'

He gasped, lips so close to Ste's, inhaling and being inhaled. Ste whimpered in response, physically couldn't speak because the pleasure had punched out every inch of oxygen that was once filling his lungs. His eyes rolled back into his head, body weakened which Brendan used to his advantage, pushing on the boy's slack shoulders and driving him into the opposite wall. Now he had the control, had the boy at his mercy.

'Feels so good'

Ste gasped breathlessly, his response knocked out of him. He took hold of Brendan's arse cheeks and rubbed his groin against him, circulated in time with Brendan's rotations, their mouths drawn together once again in a tongue filled kiss, occasional clashing of teeth and biting of lips. Ste squeezed on the round globes, gave it a firm slap and dug his nails into the material of Brendan's suit trousers, wanted nothing more than to make his mark on skin.

'Fuck... don't stop'

The boy choked, was practically sobbing and he was so fucking desperate to cum. He took fistfuls of Brendan's shirts into his hands, yanked on clumps of his hair when he started to kiss and lick his neck, lapping at the flickering pulse and chewing on small parts of flesh.

'Such a good boy ain't you?'

Brendan sighed, hot against Ste's clavicle, his hands slipping underneath his t-shirt and nails dragging along the boy's golden flesh.

'Just rub your body against me baby. I'm so close...'

Ste dropped his head onto Brendan's shoulder, the cool burn breaking out in his orgasmic muscles, a vicious contraction, his skin turning hot and feverish as it began to build. His noises were indecipherable, incoherent, a series of high and low moans. Brendan sucked on Ste's earlobe, ground his hips deliciously, his pelvis angled so perfectly it had Ste in a mess. He was sweaty, nearly crying and trying not to scream when he spunked in his boxers, hard and vicious. His small body was quaking in Brendan's large arms, trembling and twitching from such intensity. With one final rub against the boy's body, Brendan too was hit by a hallucinogenic orgasm, his vision obscured by white fog, a loud ringing in his ears.

They were left panting deeply in each other's arms, breathing in the same oxygen, wet and sucky kisses exchanged.

'I've been dying to fuck you Bren. My balls have been aching for it. Masturbation just isn't enough'

Brendan huffed a laugh at how crude the boy was, gazed upon the beautiful sight, sweaty and golden, a face of god.

'Ste? It doesn't take this long to make a cup of tea!'

The pair froze like they'd been dipped in liquid Nitrogen, muscles tensing and eyes widening when Cheryl wondered around the corner.

'Jesus you two!'

Cheryl protested, flailing her arms and scowling in disgust at the two who were still groin to groin, Brendan's hand _still_ up Ste's shirt discretely pinching his nipples. The boy squeaked lightly, tried to hide his pleasure by biting on his tongue and subtly attempting to stand on Brendan's foot.

'What they doing?'

Callum shouted from the living room, Brendan and Ste awkwardly glancing at each other, not sure whether to pull apart or stay in their current positions.

'They're dry humping against the wall. It's all about sex with you pair isn't it? Bloody hell.'

She huffed, rolling her eyes and flicking her hair as she pivoted on one foot to make her way back to the sofa, a loud sigh escaping her lungs. Brendan chuckled darkly when he next met Ste's scarlet face, his eyes clamped shut in embarrassment. He picked the boy up by the thighs, light as a feather in his arms and kissed him again, was no way finished with him yet.

'Chez! I'm going to my room with Steven!'

'Ew! I don't wanna know!'

Cheryl replied, only to be dejected by the slam of Brendan's bedroom door and the muffled sounds of Ste's grumbles and whimpers through the walls.

'Right that's my cue to leave. Have fun listening to that'

Callum rolled off the sofa, threw down the cushion that he was previously hugging and kissed Cheryl on the cheek before taking his leave.

* * *

Brendan awoke the next day in the comfort of his own bed, Ste sleeping peacefully next to him with his hair mussed, lashes flickering and lips parted. He looked truly beautiful, no matter what shape of form. The Irishman treasured the sight of him, something he had taken advantage of before his custody experience. This was one of the things he had missed the most, having someone to wake up to.

He kissed Ste lightly on the forehead, stroked his fingers through the boy's fluffy hair and climbed out of bed gently, careful not to wake him. He threw on the dressing gown that hung on the back of the door and exited the room, slowly closing the door behind him, getting an eyeful of the naked, sleeping boy that remained in his bed. It made him wonder how he'd survived not waking to Ste in the morning, without his youthful heat and light snoring, golden skin reflecting the sun.

Brendan crept into the kitchen and began preparing breakfast, cracking eggs into a frying pan; next to it lay rashers of bacon, sausages, toast in the toaster and beans frying in a separate pot. Moments later Ste came around the corner in nothing but his boxers, yawning with his palms rubbing into his eyes.

'Morning gorgeous'

Brendan crooned whilst flipping over the bacon and pressing down on the fat to make it crispy, the oil delightfully spitting and filling the kitchen with a gorgeous aroma. Ste greeted him with a minty kiss, his breath fresh from where he'd just cleaned his teeth, something that Brendan had never understood.

'Let's get some sausage in you eh?'

The older man stated, a clear, mischievous curve forming in the corner of his mouth.

'Your sausage I hope'

He replied, a smooth and sensual smile etching his honey like face, white teeth shining beneath plush, pink lips.

'You had plenty of my sausage in you last night you cheeky fucker'

They smirked in unison, overcome by the memories of the night prior, how they'd _re-christened the bed_ and more than likely kept Cheryl awake through out the night with their screams and the sound of the headboard slamming against the wall. Brendan took Ste under his arm and gave him a morning kiss, felt slightly conscious of the fact that he hadn't cleaned his teeth yet the boy had, but they'd been together long enough to not worry about such things. Ste slowly began to untie the knot that held Brendan's dressing gown around him, slipped his warm hands inside to touch the Irishman's toned abs, rock solid beneath his fingertips.

'Jesus guys! I heard enough of that last night!'

Cheryl slumped down the stairs one at a time, her hair looking like it'd been back combed. She had panda eyes from where she'd forgotten to remove her mascara, her eyes heavy from the evident lack of sleep.

* * *

'Right! I'm gunna take my baby for a walk. I'll catch you later yeah?'

Brendan stated after spending the whole morning on the sofa with Ste and Cheryl, commenting and making phatic small talk about the events on the news and debating what they were going to do with the rest of their day. Cheryl had bought up the noise the pairing made during the night to which Ste simply curled up in a ball in Brendan's arms, felt like he needed to shield himself from her scrutiny.

'Can I come with you?'

Ste shot up from the sofa and took hold of Brendan's hand before he could walk out of the door with Miya. He didn't want to be left alone with a grouchy, tired Cheryl, knew what women could be like, especially after living with his mother and being over with Amy after she had had sleepless nights looking after a sick Lucas or Leah.

'Course you can'

He smiled, squeezing lightly on Ste's fingers while he picked up his jacket and attached the lead to Miya's collar. They left the house hand in hand, Miya contently strolling in front of them while the pair chatted casually, conversation flowing easily like it always had been, things finally setting back to normal almost as if Brendan had never been away.

Out of the blue, Miya launched herself forward forcefully, Brendan nearly hurtling to the floor with the vicious might and power of her.

'Jesus Miya... What's wrong with you?'

He asked, kneeling down and taking her face into his hands, wanted to make that connection that they'd always shared, wanted an answer. They had this way of communicating, the looks in each other's eyes saying more than words ever could. It was an understanding, a fragmentation that he could never physically share with a person. He gave her a small kiss on the nose and got back to his feet, interlocking his fingers with Ste's once again. Although she continued to pull, not as hard as the first but still, it was unusual behaviour.

'Stop it baby. Come on. Be a good girl'

Her attention was diverted, the subject however was in question. She began to whimper in distress, jumped about and barked, the loud sound ricocheting off the walls. Brendan's wrist gave out and the lead slipped out of his grip allowing her to dash down the road at top speed.

'Miya stop!'

Both Brendan and Ste sprinted after her however Miya's powerful hinde legs allowed her to bound meters ahead, further and further out of reach. Their top speeds were nothing in comparison, like a snail trying to race cheetah. Brendan shouted down the street at random pedestrians, begged them to try and grab her but all failed, her agility letting her dodge everyone's extended arms.

The next few seconds, minutes, hours, whatever they were, were a blur. Ste had come to an abrupt halt in his tracks, his vision obscured by a white fog, ears ringing with a piercing scream. Only, it wasn't _his _scream. The muffled sound of tyres screeching along tarmac echoed in his head, his stomach churning when he heard a loud thump, the amplified cracking of glass and the scream that seemed never ending.


	29. Another Loss

Chapter 29

Ste's heart sank when he heard the ear piercing howl and accentuated whimper. There were few people around at this time in the morning, and he was in a relatively isolated area, where no one seemed to hear Brendan's screams.

'Miya!'

Brendan ran to her and fell to his knees as she lay on the ground, scampering, trying to stand but her back legs gave way every time.

'Woah baby... come on. Stay still. It's okay. Daddy's got you'

The car kicked into reverse and moved back a few meters but nobody exited, that's when Ste saw the familiar face through the window, smirking, grinning as Brendan screamed in the middle of the street, cradling Miya's head and rocking back and forth, perfect circular tears running down his cheeks.

'Walker'

Ste ran to the car door and furiously kicked at it, punching at the glass of the window.

'Open the door you fucking asshole!'

Walker continued to grin in a sick sadistic manor, then looked Ste point blank in the face, his eyes radiating satisfaction and triumph.

'You should keep a that mutt under control'

Ste's blood boiled, and he clenched his fist, threw it behind his head and punched the glass, smashing it into pieces. His knuckles began to burn as the shards got stuck in his skin, but there was so much adrenaline and fury, he didn't care. He made a grab for Walker's neck, digging his nails into his skin, flailing his arms, trying to land punches.

Walker got him in an arm lock and threw him to the floor, before furiously reversing down the street out of sight and Brendan screamed at the top of his lungs.

'I'm gunna kill you, you fucking cunt! I promise you that!'

Ste clambered to his feet and pulled his phone out of his pocket, scrambling around on the options before calling the only person he could count on.

'Callum! I need you to get to the road opposite the park as fast as you can. Bring a car'

Brendan listened in on the conversation as he hauled Miya onto his lap, stroking her head comfortingly.

'Yes Callum, I know you don't have a car...'

Brendan interrupted.

'Tell him to use mine'

'Brendan said, use his...I know you can't drive but you play enough Grand Theft Auto so figure it out!... Don't give me that shit! You spent days rewiring a phone, I'm sure you can break into a car and jump start it!.'

Ste left out a sigh and pressed his thumb and index finger into his forehead.

'Look Miya's been ran over and we need someone to get here as quick as possible to get her to the vets so get your arse out of bed, run to Brendan's and get his car okay?... Thank you!'

Ste couldn't help but pace as Brendan lifted Miya off of the road and into his arms. She was a husky and of course she was big, but he didn't give a shit about any of that. He'd had Miya since she was a puppy. He'd watched her be bought into the world, held her when she was a few minutes old, bottle fed her because she had been rejected by her mother. Losing her would be like losing a part of his soul.

At that moment, Callum sped around the corner, waving from side to side due to his lack of driving experience.

'Jesus Callum that was quick.'

'You know me brother, I don't hang about'

His face fell when he lay eyes on Brendan, clutching a dying piece of his soul in his arms. He went pale and his hands started to shake as he clutched the steering wheel.

'Is she okay?!'

Brendan climbed into the car and kept Miya on his lap, trying to prevent her from squirming by pressing his lips to her fur, whispering into her ears soothingly.

'Drive Callum. Quickly'

Ste climbed in and Callum sped down the street, not really sure of which route he was taking. He had grown incredibly attached to Miya, would insist on taking her out for a walk, he play fought with her and the sudden reality of it all hit him like a hammer between the eyes and he cried the whole journey, occasionally wiping away tears and sniffing lightly.

As soon as they got there, Brendan jumped out, Miya still in his arms, whimpering at every movement. He remained silent, too scared that if he said anything, he'd burst in to tears. He knew the harsh reality, but refused to believe it, refused to stand up to it, in denial, he couldn't lose another major part of his life. But that's what Brendan was, a magnet for destruction and unhappiness.

Ste followed Brendan out of the car and Callum attempted to join.

'No brother. You stay. Go home okay? Back to Brendan's'

Of course Callum wanted to refuse point blank, but this wasn't the time for such drama and bravado. He wasn't coping and he'd be a wreck if he followed. He nodded understandingly and sat back in the driving seat.

'If... If the worst comes... say goodbye to her for me'

Xxx

'Brendan Brady?'

The Vet, Mr Woods popped his head round the corner of the door and nodded his head for him to enter, which he did, taking hold of Ste's hand and pulling him along.

''I can't do this without you'

He entered the room to find Miya lying on one of the tables, and as she set eyes on Brendan, her tail began to wag, not nearly as manic as usual but it was a light, effort filled movement.

'We've given her something to sedate her. It'll help reduce the pain and she won't try to make any sudden movements'

Brendan just nodded, placed a hand underneath her ear and stroked his thumb back and forth, the other hand, locked with Ste's, fingers intertwined.

'We've had her x-rays back and it's very bad news I'm afraid. Both of her back legs are broken in two places, her pelvic bone is shattered, hence the slight dismorphia at the bottom of her back and there is significant damage to her spine. There aren't really a lot of options'

'Tell me... Tell me what you need to do. I'll pay anything'

Brendan's voice was high pitched, squeaky, and he tightened his grip on Ste's hand as he talked, trying to stay strong.

'An operation isn't going to clear this. It may take several, but there is a very high chance that she'll remain paralysed, unable to walk and because she is young and not fully developed, the anaesthetic could do damage to her internal organs. The kindest thing to do in this situation is-'

'Don't... don't say that... Please'

That's when he broke down, tears trickling down his face like a waterfall, his breathing becoming erratic and uncontrollable.

'Please... I'll do anything. I can't lose her... she's my baby'

Mr Woods looks at him with sympathy, a rehearsed look no doubt, but he understood how attached people get and this is something that he had to do every day.

'I'm sorry Mr Brady. It simply wouldn't be fair to put her through all of that, when there would be such little progress. You have to think of the humane thing, I'll leave you some time'

He exited the room after patting Brendan's shoulder and Ste pulled him into a hug and held him as he shook, crying into his arms and Brendan clung to him tightly, almost as if he was scared that he'd lose Ste as well.

'I can't Steven. I can't lose her'

'I know baby. But we can't let her go through that. We've got to do the best thing for her'

He raked his fingers into Brendan's hair and stoked his neck, mumbling incoherently against his skin, trying to sooth him.

'What're you gunna do babe? It's your choice'

Brendan pulled away and looked at Ste with red, puffy eyes.

'You know what we've gotta do'

He turned and rested his head on Miya's stomach, stroking her ears tentatively and listening to her rapid heartbeat, his head rising and falling in time with her breathing pattern. He whispered into the fur of her neck;

'I'm sorry baby. Daddy has to think of what's best for you, but you know I love you, you know I do forever and ever... Remember when I bought you home for the first time? You plodded around like you owned the place. You were so tiny and mischievous, then you got yourself stuck behind the fridge and daddy had to get you out'

He huffed an exhausted laugh as he flashed back.

'You were an idiot weren't you? Remember when I bought me and Cheryl dinner? And we had to fight it out on who went to the toilet first during the adverts of our favourite film, and we came back to find you'd eaten all of Cheryl's pizza. Such a good girl eh?...'

He trailed off as Mr Woods came back in.

'Have you made your choice?'

He asked softly and Brendan gave Miya's nose a kiss, resting his head against her fluffy ears.

'I've gotta do what's right'

Xxx

As Mr Wood prepared, Brendan clung onto Ste's hand, wiping his nose with the cuff of his jumper, the other hand continuing to stroke Miya's nose. She didn't take his eyes off of him for one second, although she closed her eyes peacefully at times, like she was appreciating the physical contact.

'It'll be peaceful. She won't know about it'

'Just do it'

Brendan didn't want to sound pushy, of course he didn't want to have to do this, but if things lingered to much, he'd start to become selfish and end up thinking of himself.

Mr Woods injected a needle into the back of her neck and Brendan watched on as she took her last breaths, the rise and fall coming to a slow halt.

'Be good baby. Daddy loves you'

Ste reached a hand forward and touched her back legs, flattening out his hand and he could feel where the bones were broken. For a moment it infuriated him. How Walker could do this and get such a sick satisfaction was beyond him.

'Uncle Callum and Uncle Ste love you lots. You be good in doggy heaven. No fighting'

Brendan pulled him into a hug, both of them crying into each other uncontrollably. Ste shot a look at the motionless dog and then cried even more, seeing her body so limp, no such wagging of her tail, her eyes so dim and lifeless.

Brendan pulled away from Ste's grip unexpectedly and he turned, placed one arm under Miya's neck delicately, the other under her back legs and he hauled her into his arms, lifting her limp head onto his shoulder. She was still warm.

'Where're you going Mr Brady?'

'Miya is my dog. She's _my_ baby. I'm gunna be the one that buries her'


	30. Maisy

**This gets a little bit cheesy. You'll see why. Again I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing. Means the world to me. Do continue :D Alys xx**

Chapter 30

It had been a week since Miya had gone and needless to say, Brendan had cut everything and everyone off. Not intentionally of course, but this is what he did. He felt trapped, like he had nowhere to go, and he felt so alone. Coming home with Ste from a hard day at school and not having a dog jump up at his legs, whimper for attention and bark whenever there was a knock at the door made him feel so empty.

He stared out into his back garden, the place in which he had dug a hole and buried her, alongside Callum, Ste and Cheryl. It was like a mini funeral, and he knew people probably saw it as weird, but he didn't care.

He gazed at the headstone he'd made himself. It took him a couple of days, but he wanted something that was personal to him.

_Miya Brady_

_A man's best friend._

_Forever loved and missed, but never forgotten_

'You okay?'

Ste wrapped his arms around Brendan's waist and kissed his cheeks, rested his chin on his shoulder.

'I just miss her. A lot'

Every time he thought about her, talked about her, he just wanted to sit in a room by himself and cry.

'I know. I miss her too and I know I don't really understand what you're going through, but... I'm here for you'

Ste had been so supportive. There was a stage where he thought that all of this was his fault, but of course Brendan had immediately shaken that idea out of his head.

He turned and leaned against the kitchen counter, pulled Ste between his legs and circulated his arms around his waist.

'Thank you. You've been my rock and I love you'

Ste grinned softly and pulled Brendan into him.

'I love you too'

Of course, things were hard on the both of them. Earlier in the week, Ste's kids had came round and asked where Miya was, to which Brendan went to his room and cried for two hours. Needless to say, they didn't mention her again after Ste had had a word with them.

_Miya... She's in a long sleep. You know what we said about heaven? Well... she's gone to the doggy heaven and Brendan is very upset at the moment. So we don't talk about her in front of him okay?_

Xxx

Weeks had become blurry. No real events took place. Ste stayed with Brendan some nights, and then he'd go to Amy's to be with his kids.

Although he didn't want to leave Brendan on his own, Brendan wanted some alone time, to be left with his thoughts. He had ushered Ste out of the house, kissed him deeply and told him he loved him and Ste did feel guilty, but he understood that alone time was just as important as being around other people.

Callum had got over it a lot quicker than Brendan had, but that was to be expected, although he still didn't like to talk about it because he too would just burst into tears. Despite the fact that he was the 'tough' one out of him and Ste, Callum seemed to be a lot more emotionally sensitive.

Before either of them knew it, 2 months had passed and Brendan was a lot more chirpier than before. Of course he'd still get upset from losing something so precious, but he was happier.

'Aww. It's nice to see you smile

'Yeah well... I'll never let go but... Gotta move on I suppose'

Ste looked at him in awe. If he loved something as much as Brendan loved Miya, then he'd be crying for months on end.

'She'll always be with you. Now... I need a word with you'

Ste stood on his tiptoes, his arms resting on Brendan's shoulders and his fingers played with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

'Oh yeah? What about?'

Brendan held back a smile and watched as Ste's pupils dilated with lust.

'Well, today in class, you were very very distracting. My exam is coming up soon'

'What was I doing to... divert your attention?'

He got in close now, their noses almost touching and Ste could smell Brendan's minty breath from his chewing gum.

'You know what you were doing'

Ste's voice was low and seductive, almost like a purr, his lips so close that Brendan had to use all self control not to kiss them'

'Remind me'

Ste gave him a kiss on the mouth and whispered in his ear.

'You deliberately dropped your pen and bent down to pick it up, giving me a perfect view of that gorgeous arse of yours. You stretched and your shirt un-tucked slightly, made me wanna lick all over your body, then you started making subtle references to all of our sex sessions. I'm surprised I didn't cum there and then'

'Jesus Christ boy.'

'You wanna have sex? I'm well up for it'

'I'm always up for it'

Brendan dominated Ste's lips, pressed into his body with his own, invaded every bit of personal space and Ste let out a low moan when their tongues rubbed together, licking inside each other's mouths. Brendan chewed hard on Ste's bottom lip, bruising it all in the means of masochistic pleasure and he grabbed Ste by the thighs, lifted his light weight into his arms, and carried him to the bedroom.

He came to a halt when he heard the front door swing open.

'Bren?'

Brendan tore his lips away for a split second to shout back.

'I'm about to have sex'

Then he returned to kissing Ste, pinning him to the wall of the hallway.

'Woahh-Okay. I'm out'

Cheryl swivelled on one foot and left as soon as she came.

Ste giggled lightly against Brendan's lips and began to kiss his warm neck, and he licked a trail up to his ear, chewed on his earlobe, grazed it with his teeth and Brendan carried him the rest of the way to the bedroom.

He threw him down onto the bed and crawled over to him, remained on all fours while he kissed him.

'I think I need to have a check over you'

Brendan murmured against Ste's lips, continued to tongue him and rub his hand over his body.

'What you on about?'

'Well since I've been in custody, I haven't really had the chance to look at you'

'You got out ages ago you pleb'

Ste always had to make things difficult, the cheeky fucker.

'It's for educational purposes okay? Now shut the fuck up'

He chuckled darkly and curled his fingers under the material of his shirt and pulled it up to the boy's chin. He began licking his torso and teasing his nipples with his tongue, pinching them with his teeth.

'Your chest is so gorgeous'

Brendan gasped against his skin and continued making a moist path with his tongue down the boy's stomach until he reached his trousers.

'Looks even better when your cum is on it'

Ste said that with pride, slid his fingers into Brendan's hair and grabbed a clump, pulled and tugged and stroked.

'You are so dirty. Take your clothes off boy'

Ste shimmied out of his trousers, too slow for Brendan's liking and he ended up completely stripping him. He straddled Ste's naked hips and rubbed his hands down his golden stomach, reached behind him and gave Ste's already hard dick a few slick strokes, making him groan in pleasure and drop his head back against the pillow.

'Your cock is so perfect'

'When it's in your gorgeous mouth yeah'

Everything Brendan said, Ste had to take it that little bit further, probably one of the reasons he loved him. He could get Brendan's blood flowing in seconds from one dirty chat up line.

'You want the blow job of a life time boy?'

Ste gasped his response. He was so fucking horny and when Brendan just shot filthy propositions in his direction, he couldn't help but lose control.

Brendan kissed Ste's lips again and sucked on his tongue, before licking down his torso again until he reached his throbbing dick, and he slowly licked the head, swiped the pre-cum with his tongue and swallowed it. Inch by inch he devoured, until he was deep throating him, his nose muzzled in the dark hairs that the base and he bobbed his head up and down and furiously licked as Ste thrusted his hips into the air, arching his back and forcing his dick down Brendan's throat. It wasn't long until Brendan had him screaming in pleasure, his orgasmic muscles contracting and burning inside of him and his cum shot into Brendan's mouth and he swallowed, catching the drop that was trickling down his chin.

'Fuck. Bren. What you can do with your mouth in unbelievable'

Brendan crawled back up to Ste's lips and kissed him deeply, tongued him so the boy could taste himself and Ste groaned at the sweetness of Brendan's mouth.

He pulled away and stared at Ste's satisfied face. His eyes were heavier than before, his breathing was quick and erratic.

'I was thinking of maybe... getting another pet.'

That caught Ste by surprise. He thought it was a great idea but maybe it was a bit too soon.

'Oh... right... A bit quick init?'

Brendan considered for a second then nodded slowly, trying to shake the stupid idea out of his head.

'Yeah... You're right... maybe more time eh?'

'Well no it's up to you. I'm just trying to get you to think about it.'

'No... I don't want another pet actually'

His tone was dismissive and Ste knew that he'd touched a nerve, pissed him off slightly. He buried his face in Brendan's chest to avoid any awkward eye contact.

Xxx

'Hello?'

'_Alright Bren. Meet me in the park in 15 minutes'_

'Why?'

'_Just come on. I have something for you_'

Brendan dare not argue against Ste. He could be a sassy fucker at times and quite frankly he didn't have the energy. School had been hectic and he'd done most of his marking. The only thing is that, the park is where he always took Miya for a walk and he wasn't sure if he was ready to face the scenery yet.

He went out none the less. It was time to face reality and he had come to terms with everything now. He was stronger.

Ste was standing by a tree, casually leaning against it, his back facing him, his leg bouncing back and forth but Brendan knew that was a habit when he was waiting for somone

'Steven. What'd you drag me out here for?'

His tone was mocking, sarcastic and Ste smirked when he made eye contact. He turned and Brendan stopped when he saw Ste had a bulge in his jacket.

'What've you got in there?! You're not pregnant are you?'

'Course I'm not. Come look'

He unzipped his jacket half way and Brendan walked over to him hesitantly and peered inside. There, in Ste's arms was a black and white Husky puppy, 4/5 weeks old at the most, sleeping peacefully.

'Gorgeous ain't she?'

Ste stared down at her, stroked a finger behind her ear and she stirred slightly in her sleep. Brendan's face brightened as she scraped her paw over her nose like she was trying to hide her face.

'She's beautiful.'

'I got her for you'

Brendan peered up at Ste's face and saw that he was generally being serious. He went slightly rigid at Brendan's silent reaction, scared that he'd done something wrong and he felt the need to explain himself.

'I know she'll never replace Miya, but the other night when you said you were thinking about getting another pet, I could see how desperate you were. So I bought this little one for you. I can take her back if you don't want her'

Brendan's objection was a lot more forceful than intended.

'No! No don't take her back. I want her'

He reached his hand into Ste's jacket and picked her up with one hand and lay her on his forearm. He shot a glance at Ste who's face looked like he was the cat who got the cream. Brendan was so in love with him, spending money on something that took so much thought and consideration when he should be treating his children.

'How did you afford her?'

'I still had some money saved from... You know'

He shied away and Brendan coughed awkwardly. _That_ was something they agreed not to talk about. Firstly, because Ste found it awkward and shameful, secondly, because Brendan hated having to reflect on what Ste was doing to himself. He always ended up getting angry or frustrated.

'Thank you Steven. She's beautiful'

'Anything for you'

His face was smutty and sloppy as he smiled, trying to be the old romantic. Brendan found it cute in all honesty.

'I love you so much you know that'

Ste shrugged in modesty and planted two or three kissed on Brendan's lips.

'I know'

Xxx

'So... you figured out what you're gunna call her?'

Callum was slumped on the sofa with Brendan's puppy on his chest. He was known as being the soppy one out of all of them, and he had already grown attached to her.

Brendan was sat on the other sofa, Ste lying between his legs, his head flattened against Brendan's crotch.

'I was thinking Maisy. I don't wana name her after Miya, because they're two different personalities. Plus... I like the name Maisy. I wana gunna call my...'

He trailed off, hit by a wave of nostalgia and Ste cupped his face and spoke _at_ him rather than _to_ him.

'You alright?'

'...Yeah...It's nothing'

'No tell me. You know you can tell me anything'

He paused and shot a glance at Callum, who was too indulged in stroking Maisy's head and watching T.V,

'Back when I was married to Eileen... I got her pregnant. We found out she was having a girl and I wanted to call her Maisy. Unfortunately... She had a miscarriage at 28 weeks... Another thing that I didn't tell you is that... I used...'

He sighed and slumped his head between his shoulders, his eyes began to swell with tears. Ste said nothing, he didn't want to pry him.

'I used to have a daughter, called Miya and she died on her second birthday. Leukaemia.'

Ste was in shock. He physically couldn't say anything and even if he did, it wouldn't be particularly helpful. He simply pulled Brendan into a hug. He was surprisingly calm about it.

'It's okay though. I've done my grieving. I visit her every so often back in Ireland. Eileen goes every week to lay a fresh set of flowers. No matter what grudge she holds against me, she has never forgiven herself for the deaths of our girls.'

'I'm really sorry.'

'Don't be'

He gave Ste's cheek a stroke with his thumb and bought him in for a kiss.

'Guys... seriously. We have young eyes in the room'

Callum slipped two fingers in front of Maisy's eyes and frowned in disgust.

'Don't want things getting X-rated do we?'

They all laughed in unison and Ste hopped up from the sofa and stretched.

'Right. I better get over to Amy and the kids. Probably gunna grab something from the chippy on the way. See you tomorrow though yeah?'

Brendan nodded and stared at him with loving eyes as he chucked on his shoes and threw his bag over his shoulder.

'Love you'

He bent over and kissed him again.

'Love you too. Thank you again for buying her for me. I love her to death'

Ste put on that same pleasured smile he had at the park and he turned and kicked Callum's foot that was hanging off the end of the sofa.

'Right you. Let Brendan have some time with _his_ puppy. Get off your arse and go home. Or you could come with me to Amy's and have a take away. Up to you.'

Callum pulled a sulky face, like a child who didn't get sweets on demand and he carefully sat up, and placed Maisy onto Brendan's lap.

'I'll come with you brother. My mum won't mind. She's having a night in with dad anyway. Don't wanna walk in on that'

They both shuddered and left Brendan in peace.

Xxx

Brendan jumped out of his skin the next morning when he was awoken by loud, repetitive thuds at the door. He realised he'd fallen asleep on the sofa and his neck was cramped.

'Oh fuck'

Maisytoo had woken up and was startled by the loud noise. He rubbed her tiny, fluffy head comfortingly, and clicked his neck.

'Okay I'm coming!'

He hopped off the sofa, placed Maisy down in the warm spot from where he had been laying and opened the door to Amy and his face fell when he saw she had a black eye and a bloodied nose.

'What happened? Are you okay?'

She spoke so quickly that Brendan barely understood her.

'He's got the kids Brendan! He took them! Last night he came and took them!'

'What are you talking about?'

'Walker! He came to my house while my parents were out to dinner and he took my kids. He beat me up and took 'em!'

'Walker?! What?'

'Brendan you don't understand! He has Ste as well!'


	31. Two Shocks In One Night

**So guys... It gets very very dark in this Chapter. I've carried it on from when Ste left Brendan to go and see Amy. So this is Ste's experience. And again (as usual) I thank you all so much for the AMAZING reviews!**

Ste and Callum trudged slowly to the chippy, hands in their pockets, gossiping away to each other.

'Seems like your warming to Brendan'

Callum looked at him and shrugged in modesty.

'Yeah. He's a good bloke and he is good for you. He makes you happy and that's all I want.'

'Awww Callum, you getting all soft?'

He threw his arms around Callum's waist and continued to walk down the street.

'Get off you dick. I'm just stating facts. Me and him get along better than I thought we would and Cheryl is ace'

'Yeah. She is'

They arrived at the chippy, quickly ran in and out and went back to Amy's where they were greeted by screaming children.

'Daddy!'

Leah ran into Ste's arms and curled her little arms around his neck.

'Hey princess. I bought Uncle Callum home. He's gunna have chips with us!'

Leah and Lucas screamed in happiness and Lucas hugged Callum's leg.

'Hey champion. Hope you've been good for mummy'

'Are you gunna have a sleep over with us?'

Callum knelt to the floor and pulled little Lucas into him, sat him on his knee and bounced his leg up and down.

'Not tonight buddy. Maybe another time.'

Lucas' face fell and he gave Callum a tight hug, kissedhim lightly on the cheek.

'I love being an Uncle'

Xxx

They all sat on the floor and tucked in to their fish and chips, talked, laughed and Ste shared the fact that Brendan had a new puppy and he promised Leah that she could take her for a walk. Amy still hadn't warmed to Brendan yet. She still held a grudge against him for hurting Ste the way he did. He didn't think they'd ever really get along, but she agreed that they'd be civil for Ste's sake.

'You waffled that down Callum you little fatty'

Ste had to refrain from swearing at him, obviously he didn't want his children to pick up on his habits.

'Uncle Callum, you're a little fatty!'

Leah teased and she poked at his belly. Callum pretended that he was ticklish, fell to the floor, where Leah continued to poke him. She climbed on hop of him, giggled and squealed when Callum poked her back.

'Right you two. Time for bed. Granny and Granddad will be back soon'

Ste stared at Amy for a second. She really was a good mother. She'd raised their children extremely well. They had grown to know their limits, learned not to be too cheeky, accepted when it was bed time rather than putting up a fight.

'Come on Lucas, we have to leave Mummy and Uncle Callum _alone_'

Leah elongated the 'Alone' and tried to wink at Amy, who was frozen to the spot.

'Did she just say what I think she said?'

Ste shot a look at Callum, who'd turned pale and was also frozen to the spot. He didn't receive an answer.

'Are you two...Seeing each other?'

Again he received no answer. Callum opened his mouth as if to say something but then reconsidered.

'Ste... We were gunna tell you. We're not really together, We kinda had a bit of a thing but it never went anywhere so we decided to stay friends'

Amy spoke as if she was trying to justify her actions. Ste didn't care. Of course he didn't. He loved Amy to death, she was the mother of his kids, but he knew he had no say over who she wanted to be with. She had adjusted to him and Brendan and it'd be hypocritical if he refused to do the same.

'Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have cared. You guys have been amazing with me and Brendan. What did you think I was gunna do? Flip my lid?'

They both relaxed and huffed at laugh at Ste's understanding.

'Well... She used to be your bird and I didn't want you to think-'

'Callum... I'm gay. Amy has a life of her own. She can be with who ever. I've got my Brendan haven't I?'

Ste's heart melted when he thought back to them lying on the sofa together, Callum slumped on the other side of the room with Maisy on his chest.

'Alright... Don't go getting excited. It's always sex with you two'

Callum pushed Ste to the floor and threw a chip at his head.

'Anyway it's like Ames said. We're just friends. Maybe in the future though.'

He gave Amy a subtle wink.

'Ew.'

'Right! I better kick off home. Mum and dad will be expecting me sooner or later. Thanks for the chippy brother. Catch you in school tomorrow yeah?'

He slapped Ste across the head, their usual playful, violent banter and he gave Amy a kiss on the cheek before dropping a £5 note on the kitchen counter.

'I know you said the food is on you, but take it. Buy summet for my niece and nephew.'

He shot them a wink and left Amy and Ste sat on the living room floor.

'So... Did you and him... You know'

He raised his eyebrows suggestively and stuck his tongue out teasingly. Amy's head sunk in embarrassment, her cheeks and ears flushing red.

'Once. It was really nice but it was just a bit weird you know. You two being brothers and stuff. Got a good 8 incher though'

'EW! Amy! That's gross! I do not wanna know how big a dick Callum has'

He pretended to gag, stuck two fingers near his mouth and made sicky noises.

'Anyway... Brendan has 9 inches. I win'

It was now Amy who was pulling the face of disgust.

'Gross... Just no. I am so grossed out right now'

'Well you mentioned inches! I just stated the amount of inches my hot boyfriend is sporting'

'Stop! The kids are only down the hall!'

They burst into a fit of laughter, fell into each other's arms and wiped away tears from their eyes.

There was suddenly a knock at the door and Amy clambered to her feet, still in a fit of laughter, clutching her tummy as her abs began to ache.

'I'll check on the kids. You get the door'

Ste too got to his feet and walked down the hall, entered the second door on the right and saw both of his children sleeping lightly.

'Good girl Leah'

Whenever it was bedtime, Leah always took Lucas to the bathroom and they brushed their teeth together and she'd tuck him into bed and kiss his head like Amy does.

Ste was suddenly grabbed from behind, a sweaty hand thrown over his mouth.

'Heya baby'

He knew that voice anywhere. The deep, familiar, husky tone and the warm breath in his ear.

'How's that little mutt of Brendan's? It's a shame really. She was cute'

Ste struggled against his firm grip, tried to scratch into his skin and kick behind him, but Walker had been fooled by every trick in the book.

'Don't you dare. I'm gunna let go of you, but if you do anything I will kill those children right in front of you. Understand?'

Ste agreed straight away. He had no choice now but to do what Walker said. He had no doubt that he'd hurt Leah and Lucas. He knew what this piece of scum was capable of. Ste's breath became jagged, hesitated and he started to shake as adrenalin pumped through his veins.

Walker slowly released his grip and threw Ste against the wall, crushed his fingers into his wind pipe.

'Ashley. Grab the kids'

Ste turned to see Ashley stood next to him, leaning against the wall.

'Ashley no. You're meant to be my best friend'

Tears welled in Ste's eyes and the betrayal hit him like a knife to the heart. Ashley had been there for him in his time of need, gave a few pounds to him during lunch time when his mum refused to give him anything. He told him he was gay, they walked home together, played football despite the fact that Ste was shit.

A sick smile spread across his face.

'Do you know what your lover boy did to our brother? He killed him with an overdose of heroin. My big brother... is dead thanks to him. Now he is gunna pay'

Ashley walked into the kid's bedroom and hauled Leah out of bed by her hair and she screamed in pain, wriggled and squirmed, kicked her legs about and cried in hysterics.

'Daddy!'

'Get your hands off my kids! No! Leah!'

Her screams were ear-piercing, they shot through Ste's nervous system and he kicked Walker in the groin and lunged for Ashley as he went to grab Lucas.

'I said get off my kids you fucking bastard!'

He jumped on his back and punched him in the head, pulled on his hair and Leah continued to scream as Ashley yanked harder, where as Lucas was frozen in his bed, too scared to move.

At that moment, Walker pulled out a needle and stabbed Ste in the neck with it, pumped fluid into his bloodstream.

'Ow! Fuck!'

He fell off of Ashley's back onto the floor and the blood in his arteries began to burn and he screamed in pain, threw his hand to the spot where Walker had injected him.

'Daddy!'

His whole body suddenly started to relax and his vision went blurry, his head spun and he slurred his protests, not able to talk or scream and he went limp, his body randomly jerking.

'Daddy!'

Leah's voice became echoed in his head, as did Lucas' objections and he watched as Ashley grabbed Lucas' ear and pulled him out of the room. Walker then threw Ste up into his arms and carried him down the hallway.

He saw Amy on the floor, blood trickling down her nose, but she was still breathing.

Unconscious.

Ste tried to say her name, but he could only mumble; his lips numb and unresponsive.

'Amm...y'

He too fell unconscious.

**Thought I'd be a tease and leave it here.**


	32. G

Chapter 32.

The voice echoed in Ste's head, bounced around in his brain like a ball in a pinball machine. He wasn't sure whether he was dreaming, weather it was a fabrication of his subconscious. The words were incoherent, desultory, a series of disjointed mumbles that he couldn't comprehend.

'Ste. Oi... Wake up'

The boy felt a sweaty palm slap him lightly in the face. He grumbled, deep and guttural, was evidently in pain. His veins were tingling from whatever was injected into him, scalp burned from where Ashley had yanked on his hair.

'Don't worry, the affects will ware off in about half an hour. I had to sedate you because you were being... difficult.'

Ste's vision was blurry when he opened his eyes, Walker's face slowly coming into focus, blonde hair flopped in front of his eyes, patchy stubble surrounding his mouth. Ste tried to construct a sentence with his limp lips and numb tongue.

'Le...ah. Lucas. Wha... What've you done to 'em? Where are they?'

'They were being... difficult as well, so I gave them a little something to calm them down.'

Walker directed his gaze behind him, towards the corner of the room. Ste followed his eye line, stomach stirring when he saw his daughter slumped on the ground, her head resting on Lucas' small knee. He was swiping away the blonde curls that hung in front of her face when he noticed Ste looking at him.

'Don't worry daddy. Leah's sleeping'

He said reassuringly, stroking his small hand down Leah's rosy cheeks.

'Your boy learnt to keep quiet a lot quicker than your girl. She's a sassy little thing.'

Walker's demonic sneer returned to his face, his lips curling, fire and venom possessing his black eyes, burning wild like a forest fire.

'What do you want? Why are you doing this to me?'

Walker bestrode Ste's thigh, rubbed his pelvis against him, a low, animalistic groan escaping his facial orifice. He trailed his fingers down the boy's torso until the instruments tucked into the rim of his trousers.

'I'm not doing this to _hurt_ you, well... I am because of the way you treated me in our relationship but the main reason... is that your boyfriend needs to pay for what he's done to me and Ash. He took our brother.' He got to his feet then, one last rub of his hips against Ste's midriff then extended an arm, palm up, a simple click of his fingers to which a needle was placed inside by a man who had managed to keep his presence anonymous.

'I'm gunna give you the thing that killed my baby brother and poor... poor Brendan can call _time_ on your life.'

He shrugged his shoulders in moderation, his actions seemingly justifiable. Walker held the needle underneath the dim light that lit the room, flicked at the plastic surrounding the liquidized contents. Ste had never liked needles, his muscles always involuntarily jerking whenever he had to have a blood test. The sharp point refracted the dull illumination, made Ste's stomach constrict.

'I don't know how long it takes to overdose... I guess we'll all find out together'

With another click of his fingers, Walker had Ste's arm exposed, a belt wrapped tightly around his bicep, blue vein bulging beneath his taught skin.

'We'll start with little bits at a time shall we?'

Walker announced, sneering, the flames in his eyes burning out of control as if gallons of kerosene had been poured over them. He punctured Ste's skin with the needle, felt the pop, breaking of skin underneath the pressure, pumped the fluid into his veins, intoxicated him. The Mancunian's blood felt like knives, stabbing at the walls of his veins and arteries, muscles relaxing, head spinning. All of his energy imbibed, laid dormant in his tissues. He couldn't scream, could only mumble indecipherable things. The pain was excruciating, felt like he was being burnt alive. Ste took desperate measures, practically going insane, screaming over and over again in his head thinking telepathy would work, would make Brendan hear him.

_Brendan! Please...Help... I love you please..._

A loud scream perforated Ste's eardrums, a scream coming form a little girl, _his_ girl. His vision was still obscured by a high, white fog however he still saw her get to her feet and sprint over, begin to strike Walker with her small fists, screaming at him to _get away, leave my daddy alone_. Walker turned, analysed his so called competition, laughed sadistically at the pitiful battle. He curled his fingers into a fist and punched Leah in the face.

'What do you think you're doing?'

He asked, towering over her as blood dribbled out of her nose, staining her pale skin. Tears began to swell in her eyes, yet she got to her feet again, brave and resilient.

'Nobody hurts my daddy and gets away with it!'

She screamed mid sob, choking in anguish. She went to hit him again, took minute steps forward and clenched her fists, prepared herself. Then Walker abruptly pulled out his gun and pointed it to Leah's temple. She froze immediately, like a pinned butterfly.

Ste squirmed in his seat as Walker snapped the safety catch, kicked and flailed but ended up tipping his chair and crashing to the floor like Jenga blocks.

'Simon! Simon no... not my children. Do what you want with me... anything... not my kids'

Walker didn't let Ste's pleas falter him, his face staying blank and expressionless, unreadable, stance rigid and tense. Leah was still glued to the spot, her eyes wide as she stared down the barrel of the gun pointing between her eyes.

'Think of your brother Simon!'

Ste shouted in an exhausted, drained tone, needed to get Walker's attention, anything to divert his focus, to get him to listen. Postpone his decisions so he could try and save his children.

'So much life... So much potential. Think about what you'd be taking away. They have nothing to do with this...Please'

Ste practically begged, closed his eyes and prayed not to hear a gun shot, wouldn't be able to face the inconceivable emotions. Although luck, whatever you could call it, seemed to be in his favour as Walker lowered his gun.

'Go. Take your brother and go'

He grunted gruffly, stamped his foot hard against the floor to scare her away, initiating a flinch from the little girl. She quickly glimpsed at Ste, ready to do as she's told. Ste nodded, had to set them free. Their fate in _his_ hands now.

'Go baby'

He said, crying as he watched his little girl run back to his son, take hold of his hand and sprint out of the door without looking back. He was crying tears of joy because they had the chance to escape, unlike himself. He could see what was going to happen, feel it in his marrow. Walker wasn't going to show any mercy, there was none in his smile, his eyes. This was his revenge.

* * *

_** Amy and Brendan's P.O.V**_

Brendan lunged at his keys, heart hammering in his ears, blood rushing, sweat prickling his skin. He quickly scribbled something down on a piece of paper, making several mistakes in his moment of panic and having to cross things out and re-write them. His note was slapped onto the coffee table, a coaster holding it in place.

_Chez, _

_Steven's in trouble. _

_Going out to find him_

_When you can, text me Callum's number_

_Look after Maisy for me_

_Brendan x_

He took hold of Amy's hand as he barged past, slammed the door behind him and dragged her down the steps towards his parked car.

'Where're we going? What do we do?'

She asked frantically, having to jog to keep up with his extensive power walking.

'We look everywhere. Knowing Walker he'd want to stay pretty local.'

Brendan snapped, wanted Amy to talk as little as possible so he could think, think of what to do, how to do it. There wasn't a lot of time, he knew's Walker's game, knew how men like him worked.

If you want to destroy a man, you don't target _him._ You target his weakness.

Brendan scrambled with his keys to unlock the car door, the cold dawn air freezing up his lungs, his breath visible, trickling out of his mouth in the form of small, white clouds. He climbed into his vehicle, the inside even colder than the outside. Amy did the same, shivering and wiggling in her seat as Brendan started the ignition and sped down the road, heating on full blast. He wasn't really aware of his route, just knew that he needed eyes all over the city.

'Where are we meant to start?!'

Amy burst, the question evidently building up, waiting to be asked. She was crying now, diamond tears streaming down her pink cheeks, mixing and diluting the blood on her lips. Brendan put a hand tentatively on her knee, stroked his thumb back and forth but kept his eyes on the road so she didn't feel too uncomfortable.

'You know how to drive?'

He asked, tried to change the subject to divert her attention, anything to calm her down. She nodded in affirmation, sniffed and wiped her eyes with the cuff of her thin cardigan.

'I don't have a licence though'

'It doesn't matter. I'm gunna drop you off somewhere okay? I'll get Callum to meet you there and he can jump start a car for you. You take the South of the city and I'll take North. Cheryl is in the West and Callum will take East. Then we have cover all round.'

It was the only plan Brendan could come up with that seemed legitimate. He knew the police wouldn't do anything, would have to _follow procedure_. He didn't have time for that, needed to have his boy back in his arms, keep him safe and apologize because he shouldn't have let him leave. He knew Walker was still out there, was obviously plotting this, more revenge.

Brendan's phone started vibrating in his pocket.

'Check who that is for me'

He passed his phone to Amy, thought that he better hadn't break every law tonight.

'It's from Cheryl. _Callum's number babe. 07********* I'll keep a look out. Anything you need me to do, just ring xx' _

'Call Callum'

Brendan said, continued to look down small alleys as he passed them, tried to cover some ground prior to the search party. Amy obliged, waited as the ringing buzzed in her ear.

'_Hello_'

Callum's voice was husky, deep and croaky. They'd had obviously woke him from his slumber, a certain type of envy, jealousy brewing because he was blissfully unaware of what was going on. Amy began to tear up at the situation again, the reality and severity hitting her like a ton of bricks. Her children were missing, their father, in the hands of a psychopath, a murderer. Brendan squeezed lightly on her knee, not really sure how to cope with all of these emotions. He never had been good at comforting people, never did have a way with words. He took the phone off her and pressed it to his own ear.

'Callum it's Brendan, Steven's missing and so are the kids. Walker's taken them, I dunno where but I need you to drive to the South side of the city and jump start a car for Amy.'

Brendan tried to hold back the panic that he was repressing, couldn't make the situation any worse. Although he knew that he needed to find Ste quick, if history was to repeat itself, then he knew that Ste was going to meet a nasty end, closely followed by himself. If Ste wasn't alive, then he had _nothing_ to live for.

'_He's missing?! Since when?!'_

Callum gasped, practically shouted down the phone.

'Walker broke into Amy's and took them. Can you get to the South end within half an hour?'

'_Sure. We're gunna need as much help as we can get'_

He could hear shuffling noises down the receiver, evidently from where Callum was scrambling into his clothes. He felt slightly guilty, calling a 17 year old lad at the crack of dawn to tell him that his brother had been kidnapped, news that other people would break down to, cry hysterically but not Callum. He was a resilient boy, strong, knew his priorities and what came first in his life.

'What're you thinking?'

'_Well... Ricki used to work for Walker-'_

'You what?!'

Brendan barked, completely outraged. A spark exploding into an ignited flame. He'd given that boy so much help, was his only true friend really, yet all along he too was scheming against him, alongside his arch nemesis.

'_Yeah. Him and Ste nearly slept together when he was... you know whattin. Anyway I'll try and get hold of him. He'll know the sorts of places Walker goes too.'_

He had to control his anger, dismiss this sense of betrayal that he was feeling, prevent himself from going to Ricki's house and smacking him in the mouth. Ste was his main concern now, he didn't have the time to carry out violent tasks that he knew he'd gain a sick pleasure from.

'We need to be quick. I'm gunna drop Amy off outside of The Grand Hotel okay?'

'_Gotchya. Be there soon'_

He put the phone down, chucked it on top of the dash board and pulled up outside of the poshest hotel in the city, lights flashing and reflecting off of Amy's ash coloured face, obviously sleep deprived. The silence that followed when Brendan switched off the engine was slightly awkward. Neither of them knew exactly what to say, especially Brendan with his shit wording. Instead he pulled out a £20 note from his back pocket and tucked it into the palm of Amy's hand.

'Go get something to eat while you're waiting. We'll find them. I promise.'

He said, the best he could do at trying to reassure her. She curled her fingers around the money, looked up into Brendan's eyes with her own, glazed with tears and bloodshot. A small, forced smile etched her face, yet she didn't say another word. She simply climbed out of the car and left Brendan to drive away.

* * *

_** Ste's P.O.V**_

Ste had never felt so ostracized in his life, so alone. His children weren't here with him, which of course was a good thing because no harm could come to them now. At least that's what he tried to convince himself. If they were going to die, it wouldn't be at the hands of Walker. Unlike himself he presumed.

He'd been in this room for what felt like hours, time passing by although it didn't seem as if there was any duration. Everything was merging into one, seemed to be no definition between a minute and an hour. All of the time he'd been strapped down, Walker had been pacing, thumb nail in his mouth, chewing loudly, seemed to be considering his next move.

'Leave us alone for a bit G.'

Walker said unexpectedly, his voice startling Ste because the room had been so eerily quiet. The man that Ste had wittingly named _'Mr Anonymous' _left the room without a word.

'I've kinda missed you Ste'

He purred, glancing over at the door to make sure that they _were_ alone. Walker straddled Ste's thighs, gyrated his crotch against his chest, Ste squirming and writhing under his sickening touch.

'I've missed your pretty little face and this gorgeous mouth.'

His stare was intense, felt like he was burning holes into Ste's skin. His hand came up to his face, fingertips ghosting over Ste's golden skin, the skin that Brendan owned, branded. He ran his thumb over the boy's pink, soft lips, his eyes turning black with hunger, pupils blown wide.

'What you can do with that mouth is phenomenal'

Ste felt Walker's erection grow, dig hard against his stomach.. It made his skin crawl, acid churning in his gut and throat constricting in disgust. Walker took hold of Ste's face, locked his fingers and squeezed his fingertips into Ste's cheekbones.

'You in the mood boy?'

Walker spat, teeth bared like a wild animal. Ste violently shook his head, brows knitted together and eyes clamped shut, couldn't bare to look into the older man's eyes, knew that they'd be psychotic, eyes of the devil himself. Walker started to nod Ste's head for him, a twisted way to make him agree.

'There's a good boy'

He said, a grin stretching his face. Walker started to unzip himself with his free hand, the other still firmly grasping Ste's jaw. He let his rock hard dick spring up from the confines of his trousers, standing tall in all of it's glory and he pressed it to the boy's plush lips, but Ste refused, kept his mouth firmly shut and swerved his head away, moaning in discomfort.

The next thing he knew, Walker's fist smashed against the side of his mouth with a loud thud, bone against bone, the force tearing at Ste's lip and splitting it.

'Open your mouth!'

He barked, so loud it rattled Ste's eardrums. He could taste blood on his mouth, trickling down his esophagus into his empty stomach. The boy involuntarily obliged, his jaw falling limp and lips parting, blood dribbling down his chin. Walker forced his dick into Ste's mouth, right to the back of his throat, making the boy gag and choke.

'Fuck that's good'

He groaned, head lolling back as he thrust into the boy's hot mouth. The blood began to build, pooling at the back of Ste's mouth and obstructing air ways. Walker unexpectedly pulled out and slapped Ste lightly in the face.

'Spit the blood out'

He demanded and Ste did so, gathering it all on his tongue and spitting it out onto the floor along with a large amount of saliva and bile from where he'd thrown up in his mouth.

'G!'

Walker shouted, not averting from forcing Ste's head back and forth.

'Untie him'

Mr Anonymous, or G, his apparent name, untied Ste's hands, but the boy made no move to escape, didn't have the energy too.

'You wana fuck his mouth G? It's incredible.'

Walker asked, yanked on Ste's hair to show G his mouth, his scrunched up face. The boy opened his eyes and stared at the unknown man, the stranger and pleaded with wide eyes, welling with tears. He pleaded with what ever hope he had left that someone would help him.

'The boy has a pretty mouth'

G muttered, eyes focused on Ste's blood covered lips, a smirk twitching in the corner of his mouth. Without warning, Walker pulled out of Ste's mouth with a pop, yanked on his hair forcing him to stand and he bent the boy over the chair that he was once occupying. Ste's trousers were forced down around his ankles along with his boxers and without any preparation or protection, Walker plunged straight in, initiating a cry of pain. G forced his cock into Ste's mouth to shut him up, gagged him with it and thrust his hips in time with Walker's gyrations.

'How does he feel Si?'

G grunted, his big hands on the back of Ste's head, a fistful of his hair combed between his sausage fingers.

'Fuck. He is so tight...and warm. He's perfect'

'Can I fuck him?'

G inquired, Walker's objection a little too abrupt for Ste's liking.

'No! He's sucking you off. That's all you get'

Ste simply closed his eyes and let it continue, his nails digging into the wood of the chair. Eventually G came to climax. He pinched the end of Ste's nose and shoved every inch of himself down Ste's gullet, spunked violently, causing the boy to viciously cough and splutter afterwards, bile and acid rising to the back of his throat. Walker also reached orgasm, releasing his load on the Mancunian's arse cheeks, allowing it to dribble own his leg. Ste was forced to sit back down, trousers still around his ankles and blood spilling from his mouth.

'You were right Si. Fuckin amazing'

G panted, pulling up his trousers and dropping his head backwards so he was staring at the ceiling, inhaling and exhaling deeply due to the intensity of his orgasm.

'I'm always right'

Walker said, he too pulling up his trousers and casually strolling out the room, seemingly appeased.

* * *

_** Brendan**_

He, Amy and Callum had been searching for eight hours, hopping out of their cars at every other street to search any places that look vaguely suspicious, knocking from door to door only to have those doors shut in their faces. Brendan hadn't slept properly, hadn't eaten all day, his patience was running thin and he was getting frustrated at everything. The people who were driving slowly, kids spitting on the floor, if his car was running out of petrol.

He'd come to a halt at a traffic jam, slamming on his horn to try and get people to drive, seeming unaware and uncaring that there had been a car crash.

_Incoming Call;_

_Callum_

'Callum what is it?'

He snapped, his annoyed tone unintentional.

'_I've searched everywhere. I can't find anything.'_

Callum whined, not taking any notice of Brendan vexatiousness because he was feeling just as irritated, losing just as much hope as time went on.

'Look again'

Brendan demanded, drove forward the pathetic 3 meters that had been cleared. He heard Callum yawn excessively down the phone.

'Don't think you can bail out to have a nap'

'_I wasn't going too! I ain't resting until I've found my brother!'_

Callum replied defensively.

'Good. Have you heard from Amy?'

'_About an hour ago. No luck with her either.'_

* * *

As the morning sun began to rise, Brendan was getting more agitated. It had taken him 2 hours to get around the traffic jam during the night, meaning he had lot valuable time to be looking for his boy. He'd heard nothing all night from Callum or Amy, felt like he was being left in the dark. Although expecting updates every hour of their progress was incredibly tedious and patronizing. The last thing he wanted to do was infantilize them.

_Incoming call:_

_Callum_

'What is it Callum?'

Brendan asked with a sigh, partly relieved that he was finally getting _some_ news.

'Hey! I'm with Ricki, We've found the kids!'


	33. Payback

Chapter 33

**Brendan**

'He found them?! Where?'

Brendan leaned forward in his seat, over come with a sense of relief yet he was scared to know what condition they were in, how much harm had come to them. He clutched the steering wheel hard, nails digging into the leather, knuckles turning white.

'_He found them in a ditch-'_

Brendan's heart leapt into his mouth. They couldn't be... Walker didn't...

Thousands of images began running through his head at lightening speed, pictures of two small bodies, bruised and bloodied lying limp and lifeless at the bottom of a ravine, pale and so eerily still. It made his stomach churn, his heart pound against the walls of his chest like a persistent drum.

'_They were asleep at the bottom. Ricki jumped down and pulled them out. He rang me about 20 minutes ago.'_

Brendan thought he was going to be sick with happiness. The thought of the kids being dead, stabbed at the core of his heart. He'd lost both of his girls. Leah and Lucas were the closest things he was ever going to get at having children again. He claimed them as his own.

'They're okay?'

'_I think Leah has a broken nose but there doesn't seem to be too much harm done. I'm gunna call Amy and take the kids to hospital. She'll meet me there and she can look after them'_

* * *

**Amy**

_Incoming call;_

_Callum._

'Hello?'

Amy was exhausted, shown in the tone and breathlessness in her voice. She hadn't slept all night. Instead she had ran back and forth to mysterious looking places, knocked on countless doors, stopped random pedestrians to ask whether they had seen her children and their father, but all gave a dismissive look or shut the door in her face.

'_We've found the kids!'_

Everything in her world came to an immediate halt at that point. Her knees buckled beneath her and she fell to the floor in a heap, completely overwhelmed. Each minute she had been losing hope, beginning to give up herself. Her heart pounded, she yearned to be close to her children again, hold them in her arms and never let them go.

She thumped her fist against the aluminium or the car door, tears streaming down her pink cheeks. Callum laughed down the phone at her apparent over-reaction, as she cried tears of joy, could hardly breath because of the constriction in her gut knowing that her children had been found.

'Are they okay?'

She asked, suddenly panic stricken because Callum said they'd found them. He never said they were alive.

'_They're fine. Doing a lot better than I thought they would. I'm gunna take them to hospital though. Little Leah has a bloody nose, so I was gunna get it checked out. You coming?'_

She was slightly confrontational as to whether she should be happy about that. Of course she was joyous that they weren't seriously injured, or worse, but it's the fact that they still came to harm. Little Leah, and she couldn't help blaming herself, feeling like she didn't do enough to protect them, didn't fight hard enough.

'You couldn't keep me away'

She put the phone down and climbed back into her technically stolen car, sped down the road, running through red lights and turning corners at light speed leaving skid marks indented into the tarmac. She didn't bother parking her car once she reached the hospital. Instead she left it outside, discarding it because it wasn't her problem anymore, she was where she needed to be. Her subtle skills allowed her to jump past several people in the queue.

'I'm here to see Leah and Lucas Hay please'

She announced to the lady at the desk who was too busy typing on her computer to take any real notice.

'Who are you?'

'I'm their mother'

She looked at Amy then, her eyebrows knitting together in what appeared to be disgust. Amy did indeed regret having children at such a young age, but she didn't regret having children. They're her pride and joy, and she has worked damn hard to keep a roof over their heads, feed them and raise them. She wasn't about to be patronized and judged by someone who had no idea of her parenting skills.

'They came here with Callum Hedges. He's their Uncle and his brother, Steven Hay, is their father. I had Leah when I was 15 years old and Lucas when I was 16, now if you don't mind, can you not stare at me as if I'm a freak, but could you show me to my children?'

The woman stared at Amy blankly now, no look of apology, but no look of disgrace either. Instead, she stood, tipped her head indicating for Amy to follow. She was lead down to the children's ward and into a private secluded room where Leah was lying down on a bed, a nurse over her, strapping her nose.

'Mummy!'

Leah's face lit up when she set eyes on her mother. She wriggled her way out from underneath the nurse and threw herself into Amy's arms

'Hey baby!'

She had never felt happier, knowing that after such a close call, her children were safe. Although there was the feelings that she had repressed. The fear and the worry about Ste, the father to her kids. He was still missing, still in Walker's grasp, the monster that made him sell his body, destroyed his self respect. Although she knows that she shouldn't be thinking about that now. Herself and Ste agreed to always have Leah and Lucas as their main priorities.

'Come on. Let's sit you back down so the lady can finish your nose.'

She sat Leah back onto the bed gently, saw Callum sitting in a chair across the other side of the room with his arms around his knees. He stood when she finally made eye contact with him, and he took her into a tight and protective embrace.

'Thank you so much Callum!'

She mumbled, inhaling his two day old scent. A mix of mud, grass, sweat. She wasn't going to judge though, because she probably smelt the same.

'It wasn't me. Ricki found them. You remember him right?'

'The bully who poisoned Ste the first time?!'

Amy pulled herself out of Callum's hold and took a couple of steps back, gawped at him in horror. Why was he on board with finding _her_ children? He was working for Walker, the man who had schemed all of this, the harm on Ste, her children's kidnap. Who knows what else he is capable of.

'Where's Lucas?'

She asked, a lump forming in her throat.

'Ricki's has gone to x-ray with him. He was complaining that his ribs hurt.'

'You left Ricki with _my_ child?!'

She cried, her arms flailing in the air. How could Callum not realize how stupid that is? He could be going back to Walker now, handing in her little boy as some sort of souvenir. At that moment, when Amy was about to break down into hysterics, Lucas' small giggles could be heard down the corridor.

'See little man. You're alright. Just a little bruising'

Ricki held Lucas in his arms as he turned the corner to re-enter the room. Amy was indeed horrified. She shot across the room and snatched Lucas back, wanted him no where near this delinquent, this traitor.

'Did _you_ do this to them?'

She asked, began to shoot the interrogatives, giving him a look of pure venom. Ricki automatically got defensive, holding his hands up in the air and taking some minute steps back.

'Woah. I did nothing wrong._ I_ found them and I'd never hurt them. I've got a nephew of my own'

Amy didn't have the energy to argue with him, she simply didn't acknowledge his existence. She handed Lucas back to Callum and proceeded to hold Leah's hand to prevent her from squirming.

'What's the damage?'

She asked the nurse as she continued to strap tape against Leah's face.

'A slight break in her nose. It should heal fairly well seeing as she is young. Shouldn't be too much damage to the shape either'

* * *

**Ste**

It had been a couple of days now since Leah and Lucas had been set free and Ste was praying every second of the day that they were okay.

Six times he had been injected with Heroin and his condition was gradually starting to deteriorate. He was constantly sweating, dripping with perspiration, his veins were burning for more of the stuff. His head was funny, he had hallucinations, the most torturous of which was when he thought he saw Brendan coming for him, about to set him free, sweep him from the chair and carry him home.

Six people had come and gone on Walker's demand, each of them raping Ste for their sexual pleasures. Walker was indeed carrying out one act of kindness and that was injecting him before the rapes were carried out, so his body was relaxed and it didn't hurt as much as the first time, although of course it was still excruciating and unpleasant.

He cried for hours afterwards when he was left in the dark, bitter cold room, alone, desperate to be able to hold his children close. He wanted to be able to throw himself into Brendan's protective arms, have a brotherly hug from Callum, have Cheryl kiss him on the cheek and throw spare bits of popcorn at him during Movie Mondays.

'Morning sunshine!'

Walker trotted through the door of the where-house, a ray of light shining through and burning Ste's eyes due to his stay in persistent darkness.

'Beautiful day out. But you wouldn't know that coz you're in here'

He shrugged in modesty, obviously thinking his joke was hilarious. He rested a foot on the chair between Ste's legs, and took a bite out of his breakfast. A delectable bacon sandwich. The smell of it made Ste's mouth water. He licked his lips, could practically taste the saltiness on his tongue. He hadn't eaten 2/3 days, however long it had been. He didn't know whether it was day or night. He could have been here for a few hours or a few days and not known the difference.

'Awww you hungry?'

Walker wafted the sandwich underneath Ste's nose teasingly and put the last of it in his mouth, chewing it sensually and licking his fingers afterwards.

'You've got me and G today boy.'

* * *

**Brendan**

'Ricki. What do you want?'

Brendan drove down the road at a moderately slow pace, certain that he was going over covered ground, repeating himself and going in circles. His temper was running short and he didn't want this to be another pathetic phone call in which he gets moaned at, saying they've _looked everywhere._ He wasn't in the mood for that.

'_Meet me in the city by the big water fountain. I've got something for you'_

Ricki put the phone down before Brendan had inhaled a breath to respond, the line going flat in his ear. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and shook his head in disbelief. What could be so important to divert Ricki away from his main priority, the reason why everyone was in this mess?

Unless he had some information?

No, he couldn't have because he would have told Brendan over the phone, surely?

He decided that he had nothing to lose. 56 hours he had been searching this area, everywhere withing a 5 mile radius, non-stop without a wink of sleep. Brendan kicked his car into reverse, sped down the road and skidded into a junction, turned and drove towards the city center.

* * *

'What've you got for me?'

Ricki rose from his seating position on the blue painted rim of the water fountain, was slightly shocked at Brendan's appearance. His eyes were heavy and bloodshot, hair mussed in every direction, 3 day old stubble peppering around his mouth.

'Ummm... I Got this'

He pulled out a gun from his back pocket subtly. Brendan's breath hitched, the sight of a gun bringing back so many horrific memories. He left a life of crime years ago, left the damage that a gun had caused behind.

'I know where he is'

Ricki said, an unusual, smug expression on his face.

'You know where Steven is? Why didn't you say anything before?!'

Brendan let his insomnia and short temper get to him, his blood boiling over. He took a fistful of Ricki's shirt into his fist, teeth bared like a wild animal, a guttural growl escaping from the depth of his gut.

'What are you doing?'

The boy's eyes widened, his frame freezing like he'd been dipped in liquid Nitrogen. The realization of what Brendan was doing only hit him when Ricki tripped and nearly went arse first into the fountain. He let go immediately, shook his head to rid himself of such dark nostalgia.

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... How? Where is he?'

Brendan stuttered over his words, frantically straightened out Ricki's collar and pulled down his shirt to rid of any creases.

'It's okay. Technically, I still work for Walker. He has a few of his cronies lurking about and I bumped into one earlier called G, a big fella, grey stubble. Anyway he let it slip to me, said he's going to this massive where-house to meet Walker. Come on. I'll take you there'

Without another word, the pair scrambled back into Brendan's car, Ricki behind the wheel and they sped off into an unknown direction.

* * *

**Ste**

It was time.

_Again._

Walker slowly circulated him, like a tiger stalking it's pray, readying for the attack. His shoes scuffed against the floor, mucky blonde hair falling in front of his face, unwashed. In one hand he held a needle, a noticeably larger dose of Heroin being the contents. In a way, Ste was aching for it. His throat was constricting from where he'd stopped breathing, his veins felt like they were on fire, skin erupting sweat like a volcano.

Walker's 'kindness' seemed to have disintegrated today. He yanked on Ste's hair and forced his head back, golden neck exposed and artery's bulging. He stabbed the sharp needle into Ste's neck, initiating a small whimper as he mercilessly pumped the boy with drugs, intoxicated him.

Ste's vision became blurred, impaired, the room spinning around like he was on a fairground ride. It made him feel nauseous, stomach churning although he had nothing to bring up due to his severe lack of food.

Walker cut the ropes that bound Ste to the chair, so tight that friction burns now marked his skin, accompanying the needle marks indented on his arms. He spun the boy around, bent him over the chair and plunged straight in, giggling because the Mancunian was so spaced out, had no idea what was going on. His limbs were slack like jelly, head swaying from side to side like it was too heavy to be on his shoulders.

The pain of Ste's insides was masked greatly by the pleasure that was surging through his veins, the feeding that his brain and body had been craving. His mind was echoing the grunts and grans coming from G and Walker as they raped him, everything in slow motion, frequency of sound much lower than normal. He felt like he was in a different dimension, like he was having an outer body experience.

His moment of madness was interrupted by a loud bang, the sound of metal penetrating flesh and for a moment he thought he was dead, thought he had been put out of his misery. But he felt no pain. Everything felt intact. The next thing he knew, G fell to the floor in a heap, a bullet hold in his head and blood pooling at the wound.

'Get the fuck away from him'

Brendan's voice ricocheted against the walls, pounded in Ste's head like a drum, the accent and tone setting his heart ablaze. Finally he was here. Brendan hadn't forgotten about him. Ste felt this sense of relief, that if this was his last moment he'd die in the presence of someone he loved.

Walker pulled up his trousers to cover his dignity, not that he had any left. He let out a sick giggle, deep and hoarse, thinking that he'd won.

'You think you're the big boy just because you hold a gun Brady?'

He asked, taking a seat in the chair that Ste was previously occupying, folding one leg over the other, not even glimpsing at the partially naked, shaking boy that was quivering on the floor next to him.

'Can't let go of the past can you Walker? In my opinion, the world is better off. One less junkie.'

He laughed again, slick and demonic like a smooth criminal. He quickly pulled out a gun of his own, his actions fast and nimble like the Bond he is and he aimed it directly at Ste's head, his stance strong and strategic.

Stale mate.

'You shoot me, then I shoot him!'

Brendan continued to stand his ground, although the adrenaline rush was making his knees weak, felt like they were going to buck underneath him and his arms shaking violently. Did he take the chance and shoot? Roll the dice? The possibilities and outcomes were endless. Brendan could shoot and kill Walker instantly, but then again, he may miss, he may hit the wrong spot. Then Ste would be dead for certain.

'Young Steven, I don't think you know your lover boy as well as you think'

Ste still lay on the floor, limp, unable to move, his vision still obscured by white fog and his brain felt like it was being drowned in a bowl of water.

'Do you know what he did to his dad?'

Walker crooned into Ste's ear, his breath relatively cold in comparison to his hot, feverish skin. He trailed a single finger down his sweat covered spine, all the way down to his crack. His touch made Ste's skin prickle with goose bumps, felt like maggots were under his skin, crawling and prodding trying to escape. It made him cringe, feel physically sick.

'Shut up...'

Brendan's voice was weak, nothing but a desperate whimper, pleading almost. He didn't want his boy knowing about any of that, wanted to keep that dark segment of his life separate.

'He killed him'

Walker whispered, a sadistic grin still on his face as he looked Brendan dead in the eyes, knowing full well that he'd gotten under his skin, stabbed at that weak spot with inanimate force, enough to gain a wanted reaction.

'I said shut up!'

Brendan pointed his gun at the ceiling momentarily and let off a shot, wanted to show this son of a bitch that he wasn't scared, that he had the guts to kill again. He wasn't afraid of the ghosts of his past. Instead he saw it as an experience from another life, one that has contributed to this life that he has now with Ste, a boy that he can now call the love of his life.

'Tell him Brendan! Tell him how you battered your old man to death!'

Walker shouted, seemingly triumphant now that he had Brendan where he wanted him, knew that this news was poison to Ste's ears.

'If you know that I killed him then you'll know he _sexually_ abused me! Eight years old! That sick fuck got what was coming to him and the court agreed with me! They agreed'

Brendan fell to his knees in defeat, broke out into a sob, choking as tears welled in his eyes. Walker raised his arms like Jesus on the crucifix, saw himself as God reincarnated, living by his own twisted principals. He was fucking happy with himself, rising up off the floor and his knees cracking whilst doing so. He stepped over Ste's body and laughed at Brendan's form, slack and weak and broken seemingly happy that he'd reduced him to this state.

Ste felt a tugging, a cold hand pulling at his wrist. Somehow he managed to summon his regaining energy to turn his head, only to be met by Ricki, crouched down infront of him, evidently weary of Walker's moves as his gaze continued to flick back and forth between the two. He was greeted by a small smile, one that wanted to return but his facial muscles failed to respond. Ricki took hold of Ste's arms and flung them around his neck, hauled his corpse like body into his arms and whispered;

'Come on. I'm gunna get you out of here'

Ste involuntarily grunted, a subconscious action that made Walker's ear twitch and Ricki's heart stop.

'You trying to move you little shit?'

He turned, aligned the barrel of his gun to the center of Ste's forehead, closed one eye for asserted definition and accuracy, then fired. Ste clamped his eyes shut, absolutely petrified, didn't want to have to look into the eyes of his killer if this was his moment to die.

He waited, waited for impact, for steel to penetrate his skin and break through bone.

But nothing happened.

He slowly opened his eyes, one at at time, was stunned to see Ricki standing in front of him and swaying lightly on his feet. He collapsed to the floor in one huge heap, blood pooling out of his body and gathering at Ste's feel like water, soaking through Ricki's clothes.

Brendan used this opportunity to lunge at a distracted Walker, took hold of him from behind and wrapped an arm firmly around his neck, the crook of his elbow squeezing on cartilage and windpipe. Walker of course was a highly skilled fighter, flexible, subtle, highly equipped with martial arts and he used this to his advantage, throwing back a leg and kicking Brendan in the crotch, climbing on top and landing punches over his face, feeling his flesh split underneath his knuckles.

Walker snatched Brendan's gun out of his hand easily due to the Irishman's deliriousness and deterioration in consciousness. He discarded it behind him, was starting to see this as a battle that he was going to win. But Brendan had the upper hand in terms of strength, catching him off guard and throwing him across the room flat onto his back, winding him apparently. He twisted Walker's arm, the one holding his weapon, wrenched and slammed against the floor until his grip slackened.

Brendan seized the loaded gun, rose to his feet and forced a foot into Walker's gut, simply because he wanted to exert more of his anger.

'You've taken so much away from me. You don't deserve to live'

Brendan was breathless, blood dribbling from his split lip down his chin, his eye sockets beginning to swell with new bruising.

Walker may have won a battle but he had lost the war, although he still seemed smug as ever, a snigger spread across his face, his hair moist with sweat. Brendan prepared himself, was tempted to end this once and for all, although what would he get out of killing him? Closure for Vinnie's sake? Or was he in denial? That this was for his _own_ reasons, the fact that his dark past had now been exploited to his only light.

It took him a moment to realize that this piece of shit had taken away so much from him, stolen a precious chapter of his life, was about to steal the important ending.

A gun shot sounded from no where, made Brendan's heart leap into his throat because he was sure that it wasn't him. He searched the room, eyes fixing on Ste's trembling body, gun in hand.


	34. Taking it's toll

Chapter 34

Brendan was in a state of paralysis, completely frozen like a statue. Ste however juxtaposed. He was trembling, a twitch ticking in his cheek, tears welling in his eyes and his chest heaving from his rapid intakes of breath. The where-house was silent apart from Ste's miniature, crazed sobs and it was quickly cut, sliced like flesh when he pulled the trigger again and the sound ricocheted, bounced off the walls like the sphere in a pinball machine.

'Fuck you!'

He fired again, allowed the tears to trickle down his cheeks as he stormed forward and continued to shoot at Walker's lifeless body, blood and muscle and flesh flying everywhere, splattering the floor meters away. He screamed and howled like an animal that had just lost it's young, although he had lost something far more precious. Ste continued to fire, relentless, continuous, screaming as he did so until no more bullets filled the barrel and all Brendan could hear was a small click rather than a loud, ear piercing bang. He took himself forward and snatched the gun out of Ste's shaking hands, slung it across the room and pulled his boy into his arms, allowed him to cry uncontrollably.

'Shh... It's okay. It's okay. I've got you. He can't hurt you anymore'

He attempted to sooth the boy, whispered into his hair tentatively and held him as if he wasn't going to ever let him go. Brendan rocked him back and forth, stroked on his naked shoulders. He too was almost overwhelmed with emotion, because he could have potentially lost this boy, the boy that changed everything.

Out of the corner of the room, they heard a muffled and weak cough. They saw Ricki on the floor, gasping for breath as blood pooled out of his body onto the floor. Ste broke away immediately and sprinted over to him, took his head into his hands knowing full well that this is Ricki's last moments. He wanted to make them count, to reassure himself that he won't die alone.

Brendan knelt down by Ricki's side. He too knew that the devil had claimed yet another victim, he'd seen this before. History practically repeating itself.

He reached in his back pocket however, felt like he couldn't do nothing. Ricki raised a hand and touched it weakly to Brendan's wrist, stopped him from dialing.

'No. Just... Leave me'

'What?! No. I'm not leaving you here!'

'There's nothing they can do'

He stuttered over his words, each separated by his sharp inhalations and weakened groans.

'I never wanted anyone to die for me'

Ste choked out a sob, his face scrunched up with emotion, eyes blood shot from exhaustion. This wasn't how things were meant to be. _He'd_ rather be dead than have anyone else die for him or die _because _of him. If anything he felt guilty because this was all his fault. His children getting hurt, Ricki on death's door, Brendan battered and bruised.

'You've... You've got a life in front of you Ste. Beautiful children, a boyfriend who loves the _bones_ of you. You have something to live for'

'But so do you! You could have done anything you wanted. You're a smart guy Ricki, athletic and competitive. Nothing could stand in your way'

'I'm weak'

Ste shook his head vigorously because that was far from true. He was strong, yet haunted by the shadow of his father, raised in a controlled environment where he never got the _chance_ to make his own choices or decisions. But he broke away from it, despite the fact that it took a while, he finally did it and started living the life that he wanted, started being the man that he _really_ was.

'No. You're not weak'

Brendan simply watched on, couldn't think of anything to say, no words of reassurance because they were useless and frankly inappropriate. All of them could see the turn out, knew that more than one life would be lost today.

Ricki slumped slightly in Ste's arms, the energy draining from his body along with the pints of warm blood, steaming against the cold, bitter air. Ste didn't want to try and reinforce Ricki's abilities on him now, what he could have possibly achieved. He wanted to remind him of the good things he'd already done, things that he will be remembered for.

'You saved my life. I can't thank you enough'

'I couldn't leave your children without a father'

Ste could see the envy in Ricki's eyes, the admiration. He wanted a father like him, someone accepting, non-judgmental, open minded. Then maybe things would have been different and none of them would be here, Ricki wouldn't be dying in Ste's arms.

'Brendan'

Ricki gasped, his voice hoarse and croaky. He squeezed on Brendan's wrist with what energy and strength he had left, managed to genuinely smile despite how dark of a moment this was.

'Look after your boy won't you?'

Brendan simply returned the smile, too emotional to talk because he would probably cry as well. All of that potential being viciously stolen. Also, he could relate to this boy. They both suffered a childhood where they were constantly under the scrutiny of their father's, Brendan more so but never the less. He shared a common ground with someone, something that he had never found in anyone else.

They all sat in silence, Ste watching as the light left Ricki's eyes, as his breathing came to a slow yet steady halt, as he was finally allowed to live in the next life.

* * *

The week after that was a blur. Ste was back at the flat with Brendan, Callum came by everyday after school to see and support him, Amy stopped off after she had finished work and bought the kids along so they could spend some time together as a family and try to adjust to the events that had occurred, although it had affected Lucas considerably. He had become introverted, obscenely quiet, seemed to flinch at any sudden movement. It was something that was to be expected.

Brendan was dealing with everything to do with Ricki's and Walker's death, explaining the situation to the police, sitting in interview rooms with Ste so they could give statements. He'd also gone into school because he didn't want to try and make the situation seem suspicious. The last thing either of them wanted was to be the main topic of conversation between the students and teachers.

Brendan had also taken it upon himself to tell Ricki's dad about his son's death.

* * *

_He took a deep breath, didn't want to have to recall the happenings in the where-house but he had no choice. He pressed the doorbell several times and waited, heard a certain commotion going on inside of the house, the sound of barking and movement._

_The door swung open seconds later, the doorway vacated by a bulldozer of a man. Tall, muscular, a business man by the looks of his tailored clothing. Tight fitted and well made._

'_Who are you?'_

_He asked gruffly, a deep and guttural growl._

'_Sorry Um... I'm Brendan. Brendan Brady'_

_He offered out a hand, waited several seconds for a handshake to occur but it evidently wasn't going to happen so he lowered his arm awkwardly and clenched his fists. _

'_What do you want?!'_

'_I want to talk to you about Ricki'_

_The man rolled his eyes, as if a conversation like this was something of the norm._

'_What has my queer of a son done this time?'_

_The slight mention of the word had Brendan's blood boiling. Queer was something that his dad used to call him when he was receiving a beating, when he had supposedly put shame to the Brady name, when he was having his innocence stolen by Satan himself. _

_Brendan had to breath rhythmically in order to keep control of himself. This was not the time to cause conflict or start a fight. It was a time to mourn, but that didn't stop him from stepping up to this man's level, so close that their noses were nearly touching. He bared his teeth in anger because that was the most controlled he could be without punching this dickhead in the face._

'_I have just come to tell you that your son is dead. He got shot earlier today. All that boy ever did was try to make you happy, but you threw it in his face. I hope you're fucking happy'_

_Without another word, he stormed away into the darkness_

* * *

Brendan didn't like to acknowledge that Ste had been drugged. Every time he looked at the irritated, red needle marks on the boy's arm, it made his stomach churn violently. The thought of that substance running through Ste's veins make him feel violent, angry because he didn't protect him like he should have. That stuff is the reason why Vinnie is in the ground and Brendan thought he would have learned from his mistake.

He never thought that he'd love someone more than he loved Vinnie.

Never had he been more wrong.

Ste is his only light in the dark, the beating of his heart, main reason for existence and he nearly lost it, all because of his own idiocy.

Brendan knows how addictive Heroin is, knows the affects and what it can potentially lead to. Ste may be strong, but Brendan doesn't doubt the number of injections he had, the amount that had been pumped into his body. As much as Ste would like to deny it, he _will_ have a craving and it won't just be hard to ignore it.

It'll be excruciating. His veins will be burning, skin will be _itching_ for it.

Despite the fact that Brendan wants as little people involved as possible, he knows that professional help is needed. He ignored Vinnie's craving, actually fed it to a certain extend and he isn't going to let history repeat itself again.

* * *

It was a hard day at school for Brendan. He had teachers constantly in his ear, asking; _What happened to Ste? Is Ste okay? Such a shame Ricki is gone. He was a good lad underneath it all._ This was the last thing he wanted, having gossip spread, but he couldn't exactly lie about Ricki's death and Ste's absence, especially with the press being involved now. The only person Brendan did speak to about it all was Laura and she was gobsmacked by it all.

He returned home after the chaotic day to find the living room empty. Of course Maisy occupied her usual spot on the sofa but the house was silent, eerily quiet.

'Steven?'

He called, but there was no answer. He began to search the house, starting in the kitchen where everything was untouched. The same amount of water filled the kettle, and the dishes were still piled up on the counter next to the sink. He then went to the bedroom, the next obvious place. He was stunned to find Ste sat in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth, mumbling to himself incoherently

'Steven?'

He crossed the room and slowly sat down in front of him. The crazed look in his eyes told him everything he needed to know and his heart sank into his attempted to reach out a hand and touch the boy, try to sooth him by making his presence known.

'Don't touch me!'

Ste batted his hand away furiously, slapped it with an almighty crack and continued to rock psychotically, staring past Brendan, his gaze fixated on a random spot on the wall.

Brendan tried again, more consciously this time, slower and steadier.

'I said don't touch me!'

Ste batted his hand away again, so hard that the skin on his hand began to sting and pulse, blood rising to the surface in the form of a bruise. He didn't want to ask, knew already what the answer would be but he needed to face up to reality, needed to actually confront the problem rather than ignore it.

'What is it? What's wrong?'

He asked, his tone monosyllabic and his head sinking between his shoulders.

'I need some Bren. I need some'

He moaned, his breathing heavy and erratic.

'What do you need?'

'I need a fix.'

'A fix?'

Such slang jargon that Brendan didn't understand, and then Ste motioned a stabbing kind of action to his arm, into the crook of his elbow where blue veins bulged underneath his golden, taught skin.

Brendan shook his head as if he had heard wrong, was in a state of denial because that isn't what he wanted to hear, wasn't something that he thought he'd ever _have_ to hear again.

'I'm sorry what'

Ste lost it then, seemingly frustrated, his face morphing into an expression of pure rage, the substance or lack of it obviously taking over. He got onto his knees, tall enough to look down on Brendan as if he could crush him like a bug and screamed at him.

'I need Heroin now okay?! Now!'

Brendan huffed a laugh and buried his face into his palms. That fucking bastard had got his boy hooked on heroin. Ste was turning against him and now _he_ felt like the enemy because he knew he couldn't help. He didn't want to buy Ste heroin and he didn't want to have to send him to rehab but there was no real option now.

'I can't give you heroin Steven'

Brendan was blunt with it, but the look that he received next ripped him apart. Ste was begging him, pleading, his eyes wide and pupils dilated, the white's bloodshot. He wanted to think that he was begging him for help, to get him off of the toxic substance, to make the burning and itching go away, but that was wishful thinking.

'Please Brendan. Please. Just a little bit'

He got onto his knees again, not aggressively this time though. He slouched back onto his calves, curled his warm hands behind Brendan's neck and rested their foreheads together, began to play and stroke at the hairs on the nape of his neck.

'Please. I need this so badly'

He whispered, shuffled even closer, as close as he could get all by the means of persuasion.

'I'm not gunna have you get addicted even more! Think of your children! Think of me!'

'I _need_ to get high Brendan okay?! I need to get absolutely fucked because I can't face the fact that Walker raped me every single day while I was in that where house! How do you expect me to cope with that?!'

Ste sulked back against the wall and buried his face inside of his hands, desperately began to sob because this burning in his veins was physically hurting him now. He actually felt as if he was combusting. Brendan got to his feet and thumped the bedside table with his foot in irritation. He was torn. He knew the consequences of not giving addict what they wanted. But he knew the consequences of the opposite as well, and it was a decision of which he would choose.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled a number, pressed the phone to his ear and stared down at Ste who was still crying, trying to come up with a justifiable reason for what he was about to do.

'Hey... Yeah it's been a while, listen, have you got some stuff?... Heroin... It's not for me... I'll pay that. Get over here as soon as possible.'

Brendan shoved his phone back into his pocket and sighed deeply. Ste got to his feet then, wiped away all existing tears because now he had gotten what he wanted, like a child putting on crocodile tears to get a fucking bag of sweets. He threw himself at Brendan, wrapped his arms tightly around his neck but Brendan didn't respond. He was disgusted, in himself mostly for letting this happen, for feeding this sick hunger.

'Thank you. Thank you so much'

Ste whispered, happiness etched into his tone and he pulled away with a smile on his face, which fell immediately when he saw the expression that Brendan was wearing.

'Don't mention it. But tomorrow, you're _going_ to see a therapist and I'm gunna enroll you into rehab'


	35. Don't do what's easy, Do what's right

Chapter 35.

'What? I'm not going to rehab. Fuck that'

Ste blasted, his brows knitting together as if the idea was completely blasphemous. There was no negotiating about this. He was addicted to Heroin, a substance that could easily kill him and he had children to think about. How could he possibly leave them without a father? How could he leave Amy to raise them on her own? How could he leave Brendan? He knew he was being selfish but he didn't want anyone else involved, thought they'd be ashamed of him.

'I can do this on my own'

Such a stubborn boy; not lenient in the slightest but Brendan knew him all too well, knew which buttons to press and how to get around him.

'You just told me that you wanna get high as fuck! I can't stand back and watch you destroy yourself!'

'No. I'll do this by myself. I'll quit tomorrow.'

Who was he trying to fool? He'd been raped by 8 men, had been drugged against his will, witnessed his children be held at gun point. It was enough to cause anyone a break down and it was ludicrous how he thought he could do this by himself. Something kept chipping away in the back of his mind however. Did he deserve this? He'd managed to get out of a house that he'd get beaten in, abused in for years, yet it's found its way back to him again, only it's bitten him twice as hard.

'For fuck sake Steven. You're a _drug_ addict, you watched your kids get hurt right in front of you, you were...'

Brendan trailed off, physically unable to finish the sentence because the memory haunted him, of what he saw when he barged into that where-house. How he saw two scum bags taking advantage of Ste's young, beautiful body, abusing it. It made his stomach lurch because knew what it felt like, had suffered for years with it happening to him every day.

The silence that followed was interrupted by a knock at the door and Brendan was gone and back within a minute. He threw the small package onto the bed and left the room again without another word, couldn't watch while Ste did that to himself. He just hoped that he was satisfied because tomorrow, he was going to get professional help whether he liked it or not. The boy that Brendan had fallen in love with was slowly slipping away and he wasn't going to let Ste be dragged further into hell without a fight. He would hold on with both hands and grip for the rest of his life if that's what it took.

Ste just stared at the brown package, his body yearning for it, but his head was telling him different and the conflicting emotions, conflicting voices were driving him insane.

_Don't do it! Your children... think of your children. _

_... Do it... You need it so much. Imagine how it's going to feel. How amazing it'll be when it's pumping through your body. It'll give you time to forget._

That is what he needed, to forget, and when he was tied to that chair for three days solid, being raped by various men, the herroin helped him to forget, helped him to dismiss his emotions. When it was sitting there right in front of him, practically handed over on a silver platter there was no way he could resist. He could smell it, the muskiness and the sweetness, practically felt it surging through his veins already.

He tore open the parcel and pulled out the ready fluidised substance, cased by a plastic syringe with a needle covered by a metal cap.

This was the good stuff. Ste unraveled his belt from the loops in his trousers and tied it around his bicep, used his mouth to help tighten it and he waited until he saw his blue vein begin to bulge underneath his taught skin. He stabbed the needle into himself, felt his flesh pop underneath the pressure, heard the tear and he winced at the small pin prick, pumped himself high and fell back into the pillows on the bed.

* * *

Brendan awoke the next morning on the sofa, Maisy sleeping peacefully on his chest. He couldn't sleep next to Ste that night, couldn't face up to what he had done, what he had been forced to do. He sat up slowly, winced at the tight cramp in his neck and tried to shake it out, stretched his neck from side to side. He felt guilty for having to supply the drugs but he of all people knew what drugs addicts could turn into, how unpredictable they could turn.

He'd had that experience with Vinnie and the kid had cut himself in order to relieve the craving, had sliced open his own skin to try and sooth the burning, the itching. All of that self harm was Brendan's fault because he denied to get him more drugs, denied this apparent need. Brendan became nostalgic, couldn't help thinking that if he had just given Vinnie what he wanted then everything would be different. Maybe he wouldn't be dead, he wouldn't have cut himself and stained the sheets that he and Brendan shared with his own blood. Although, Brendan wasn't sure on whether he had made the right choice to deny Vinnie, because then he wouldn't have Ste in his life, wouldn't have fallen head over heels, fallen in love twice as hard. He wouldn't have found the love of his life, or soul mate or however the cliche goes. But if he _had_ given Vinnie what he wanted, then an innocent boy never would have gotten hurt.

Ste came around the corner in that moment, disrupted Brendan's train of thought.

'Morning'

He said, slightly sceptical of the mood that Brendan was in, wasn't sure whether he'd get the silent treatment. He knew what he was doing, how selfish he was being and he hated pushing away the man he loved, but the craving was so intense that it physically hurt him. Ste thought he was on fire, burning from the inside out.

'You still gunna call-'

'Yes.'

Brendan muttered bluntly, was standing his ground on this because he too could be stubborn as hell when he wanted to be. He was being firm to show that there was no chance of negotiation. He wasn't going to make the same mistake as last time, have history repeat itself.

'Please don't'

Ste mumbled with no conviction, knew that Brendan had already made up his mind but figured that he didn't have a lot to lose if he tried to beg.

'Nothing you say, is gunna make me change my mind. I'm _not_ enough to help you.'

Ste wanted to object, wanted to throw a palm over Brendan's mouth to silence him because that was bull shit.

'Give it here'

Ste huffed, throwing out a hand in Brendan's direction, flicking his fingers back and forth. Everything was spiraling out of control and Ste knew that, knew that this addiction could spell the end of him. Brendan had told him about Vinnie, had told him everything and the last thing he wanted was to end up six feet under alongside him.

'Give what?'

'Give me your phone. _I_ wanna do this. If I am gunna get off this shit, then I wanna show the commitment, not have you do it for me.'

He didn't intend to snap, just wanted to get this over and done with, embrace the humiliation. Brendan pulled out his phone from his pocket without a word, seemingly proud that the boy had finally come to his senses, that _his_ lover hadn't completely slipped away. Ste got to his feet and went to the kitchen, thought this to be a private matter. He scrambled through the papers that lay on the counter, looking for the piece of paper that had the rehabilitation number scribbled on it, was trying to calm his panic and immediate craving for another fix.

He typed in the number with his trembling fingers, held the device to his ear, the ringing drowned out by his erratic heart beat.

'Hi, Um... I wanna sign myself in for rehabilitation'

Brendan listened in silently, could hear the boy's voice quivering.

'Steven Hay'

There was a change in Ste's voice when he said his own name, almost like he himself was appalled at how bad this had gotten.

'I'm... I'm a heroin addict'

Ste's voice cracked, broke and became hoarse and a single tear dribbled down his cheek Because he was overridden with emotion. He had faced up to reality now, had realised what he was doing not only to himself, but to the people around him, the people he loved and it was killing him.

Brendan slowly entered the kitchen and pulled his lover into a delicate hug, stroked his fingers through the boy's hair and quietly crooned words of reassurance into his ear, wanted Ste to carry on, to persist.

Ste continued to talk down the phone, his head resting against Brendan chest, the soothing sound his the Irishmans heartbeat acting as music against his ear drums. He listened to the deep and strong contractions, remembered when his heart used to sound like that but now it was only slow, dragged beats that kept him alive.

The voice on the other end was relatively quiet and Brendan could only just fathom what the woman was saying. Her voice was kind, wasn't judgemental in the slightest and he could feel Ste's body begin to relax against him, his embrace and the woman's reassurance seeming to calm his nerves.

'Tomorrow? Yeah. Can I bring someone with me?'

_Of course you can Mr Hay. We'll see you tomorrow._

'Great... Thanks'

The line went dead in Ste's ear, Brendan's heartbeat and breathing being the only noises he could hear now. He placed the phone onto the counter and wrapped his arms around Brendan's waist, needed to feel that security, needed to acknowledge that he had done the right thing.

'What do I do about my exams Bren?'

He mumbled, wiping away any stray tears that lurked in his eyes. The question caught the Irishman off guard because that was something that hadn't crossed his mind. He raked through his mind for any possibilities, of how to work his way around their predicament because there was no way in hell that Ste was going back to school.

'I'll talk to the principal. He's quite lenient, especially after the judge had a word with him about us. I'll ask him if you can do your exams while you're in rehab. He'll understand, and I'll get special consideration because of what's-'

'No. I wanna be treated the same as everyone else.'

Ste interrupted, broke the older man off because that was an impossibility. He didn't want to be seen as different because of everything that's happened. It was just a way of receiving a higher grade with less effort and he had worked to damn hard to get to where he was now in terms of education. He wasn't about to be seen as an idiot.

'Okay. Okay'

Brendan's grip tightened a little, bought Ste in slightly closer. He didn't want to argue, knew how stubborn he could be and in this particular battle, the boy was sure to win.

* * *

The next morning it was time to head to rehab. Ste had packed his things the night prior, drugged himself up with what was left of the fix to which Brendan slept on the sofa again, unable to witness it. Ste had talked to Amy on the phone, told her what was occurring and the arrangements. She sounded happy, happy that he was doing something about his burdens. She also knew that herself and the kids weren't enough for him, couldn't help him like a professional could, an opinion that she and Brendan both shared.

They had ran through a story to tell the children, to try and make them understand in the simplest way possible. Obviously their young minds couldn't deal with recalling the event and they needed to hear something reassuring.

_Daddy... has to go away for a little while. He's going to go on holiday to this big house, and he's going finish his exams and he'll be back soon. He loves you though, don't forget that._

The fact that they called it a holiday seemed to make things a lot better. He had imprinted that in his mind, tried, not only to reassure his children, but reassure himself that he wasn't heading to a place that was prison like. He was holding onto that particular element of luxury.

Ste and Brendan hadn't exchanged a word all morning, facial expressions, nodding, small, unconvincing smiles being their only means of communication. Brendan felt as if he was sending a child to summer school, sending someone away against their will but he knew that Ste needed this, needed to sort his head and his life out.

He carried Ste's bags down to the car, loaded them into the boot and climbed into the drivers seat, let out a deep breath as if to say something but he reconsidered. He was just as nervous as Ste was, more in fact because this was his decision. Not Ste's.

'Will you visit me?'

The question sharply cut the silence and it startled Brendan, made him jump as he was about to put the keys into the ignition.

'Yeah. Course I will. As much as they'll let me.'

The boy huffed an unconvinced laugh, clicked his seatbelt into place and continued to stare out of the window.

* * *

They pulled up outside of an unusual looking venue. It wasn't the clinic type place that Ste had expected. It really was like a large house in the middle of nowhere, the strong yet delectable smell of freshly cut grass tickling his senses and the light song of the birds nearby beginning to calm his nerves. He exited the car in confusion, was beginning to question whether they were actually in the right place.

Brendan took Ste's bags out of the boot and showed him inside, still very few words exchanged. It wasn't awkward though, it was the guilt that stirred them into silence.

'Ah. You must be Mr Steven Hay. Welcome'

A young, brunette woman was sat at the front desk, a wide smile spread across her face, lips neatly painted in red lipstick. Ste nodded in embarrassment. How could she keep up such an enthusiastic demeanour? This was a rehabilitation clinic; with drunks and druggies and psychopaths.

'We're all nice here don't you worry'

She shot a small wink in his direction, her gleaming smile never faltering and Ste looked about the place, took in his surroundings and took note of the sofa's and benches scattered about the place which seemed to be occupied by current residents, who paid no attention to his arrival. The place was very relaxed. He'd expected to see people in straight jackets, cursing and foaming at the mouth with a craving for their addiction.

'I'll show you to your room'

She came out from behind the desk, her heels clicking against the marble flooring and she waved her arm, signalling that they follow which they did, still in complete silence. She lead the way up a winding staircase, the cream wallpaper clean cut and simple. Ste was always like this, analysing the places in which he'd be staying, never afraid to criticize.

'Here we are' She swung open an oak door, with a fingerprint system on the front and Ste walked in confidently, stroked a palm across the bed and stared out at the balcony.

'I'll leave you alone for a bit to adjust'

One final smile and she disappeared down the hall, leaving Brendan and Ste standing awkwardly in the room. The Irishman placed the bags into the corner of the room and stood awkwardly, not knowing whether he should stay or go.

'Nice init?'

Ste said as he sat down on the bed, staring out of the window, the sunlight shining through onto his now pale, exhausted face. He'd lost his golden tone, the honey like skin that was soft and golden to touch. His eyes were heavy with bags, hair mussed in every direction.

'Yeah'

Brendan replied, letting out a breath that he forgot he was holding, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

'How long till I can get out?'

Jesus.

It sounded like he was in jail awaiting his release date and it made Brendan feel even more guilty. Ste saw this as a type of prison, a place that he was forced to go to, a place that he wasn't going to escape.

'Depends on the progress you make'

Brendan huffed, more angst in his voice than was intended but how can he not feel frustrated? How can he not feel angry, not only with himself but with Ste. He felt guilty enough as felts was, felt like he had trapped the boy and left him with nowhere to go. He had little choice.

'You're going to be okay Steven.'

Those were rehearsed words. Words that a man in his position was supposed to say and Ste just sighed as if he expected it and Brendan felt so awkward, not knowing what to do with himself.

'Well-' He clapped his hands together, noted how Ste's reflexes had become extremely sensitive, saw how he flinched at the noise-' I am gunna head off I suppose, leave you to your thoughts and give you... a bit of space'

He pivoted on one foot, almost relieved that he wasn't looking at the boy anymore, in a way thankful that he was about to get out of there until he felt a frail, cold hand on his shoulder, to which he turned and was greeted by Ste's unreadable face. They stared for a moment, bored into each other and then Ste reached up for a hug, wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck and pressed their bodies together.

The boy wasn't as warm as he normally was and Brendan clung to him for dear life, didn't want to let him go, craved to keep his boy close to him forever. He trailed his hand down Ste's bony back, noted how much weight he had lost and he closed his eyes, inhaled the familiar scent.

'I love you'

Ste mumbled against his shoulder and Brendan felt the heat of his breath soak through his jumper. Those words, those three little words were so beautiful, especially at this vulnerable and tragic time.

'I love you more'

Brendan replied and he pushed Ste back, because if he didn't let him go then he'd end up grabbing the boy's bags and driving them both back home. He'd turn selfish, think of himself, think of what was easiest rather than best.

The boy's face looked slightly disappointed, he jutted out his bottom lip in that sassy way, just like his old self and Brendan couldn't help but smile and depart from him with a kiss.

* * *

'For fuck sake!'

Ste screamed, lunging forward and swiping everything off of the desk in front of him in one clean motion, adrenalin and blood running thick and fast through his veins, sweat prickling his skin. He tried to breathe through it, tried to remember the technique he used as a child when he got angry.

_Breathe in through your nose, feel it go to your heart, feel it drain you from the bad things and then breathe them out, blow them as far away as possible so they don't come back._

He stared at the blonde lady sat calmly in her black leather chair, hands folded in front of her.

How was she calm?

She wasn't meant to be calm!

8 days it had been, 8 days since Brendan left him and he hadn't seen him once, not even a phone call. And this fucking therapist was driving him crazy, trying to delve into his personal life. He knew that this was what she was meant to be doing, but he couldn't face it. Not now. Not ever. He just wanted to go home, be with his children, Amy, Callum and forget that bastard who was now six feet under, forget what he had done.

'Ste...'- She sat forward in her chair, placed her elbows on the now clear desk and looked into his eyes, truly looked at him, studied, analysed.

'I am going to wait until you are ready. Wait until you want to share. I am not going to force you but I think that letting your experiences out into the open will help you. I know I may not be the easiest person to talk to, a stranger no doubt but this is our 4th session now, and we haven't made any progress.'

Ste had nothing to say to that. He had thrown everything at her the first two times, said how he didn't want to share, said how he didn't want to have to relive what happened, told her that she would never ever understand. He saw Walker's face at night, saw G, saw Ricky. That boy was dead because of him and he constantly had nightmares of Walker raping him, of Ricky lying there in front of him in a pool of his own blood, gagging for breath.

He reluctantly sat down, placed his hands between his knees to try and stop himself from lashing out again. His head was spinning, his veins burning because he hadn't had a fix in 8 days, hadn't had anything to cool that burn, to scratch that constant itch. They had indeed given him a mild form of the substance, but it never soothed the craving, if anything it made him want it more.

'Even if you talk to Brendan, about the smallest thing then we will have finally gotten somewhere. We need to face this, come face to face with what has happened and conquer it. You're not alone.'

Despite the fact that Ste was still pissed at this woman, Anna he thought her name was, her tone was incredibly soothing, her voice like a lullaby, able to calm him down and relax him slightly, like a mother able to calm their angry child. Of course, Ste didn't have any experience of that.

'If you want to go now, then you can.'

He hated it when she did that, openly let him make his own choices. He'd rather she put pressure on him, force his traumatic events out of him. He broke under pressure, spilled everything, and he felt like he was letting Brendan down when he opted to keep things bottled up. But that seemed to be the easiest thing to do.

Without a word, he got to his feet and trudged out.


	36. Finally

Chapter 36

'Pathetic isn't it?'

Ste muttered as he picked his fingernails, dodging any such eye contact.

'What is?'

Anna replied as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk and planting her chin in her small palms.

'Me being... addicted after a few injections. How weak does that make me?'

He said as he slumped his head between his shoulders, on the verge of crying, his voice quivering and shaking as he tried to remain calm and not suffer a break down there and then.

'No Ste. You only need to have one cigarette and you can become addicted. Heroin is a very strong substance and it has immediate affects on the system. It's far more addictive than say, cigarettes or alcohol. If I were to say anything, it's good that we have you during the relatively early stages of addiction.'

It's _good?_

How is this good?!

He was addicted either way, it didn't matter whether it had been 10 days or 10 years.

'This is good progress. After 2 weeks of you being here, we are getting somewhere, but it's like I said, I am not going to simply delve into what happened. You must be ready. So... are you?'

She asked and Ste chanced a look at her, noted her professional posture, how her demeanour never faltered and she remained quite powerful, with a certain presence about her, which in all honesty, Ste found intimidating.

'You know everything already'

He muttered in defence. He could see her notes on the desk, his 'file' as it were, seeing as that was his meaning to the place. It made him feel isolated, like he wasn't as real person, he was represented by a piece of paper with pointless, meaningless words.

'I have a brief overview, but my job is to help _you_, to get you to confess as it were, take the same path in order for you to confront what happened'

Ste sighed, clamped his eyes shut as the memories came flooding back, all at once, all equally as haunting and scarring.

'You're not alone in this. I am here. Brendan is here..'

Brendan?

Ste had almost forgotten who he was for a moment, seeing as he hadn't seen him once for the whole two week period.

No phone call.

No messages.

No visits.

He felt more alone and ostracized than ever.

A silence descended. Not an awkward one, but a pressured one. A silence that Ste presumed was a persuasive technique, allowing him to make the next move and he didn't know what to do. He didn't feel ready. Not yet.

'I can't'

He breathed, exhaling deeply and he didn't dare look at Anna's face, for he knew that she would be giving a look of disappointment. That is what he assumed anyway.

With that, he stood and left without another word, or another glance.

He shut the door, waited until he heard the click and then ran, ran as fast as he could away from that room, the room that made him feel heavy, like a 10 ton truck was on his shoulders.

He took the stairs two at a time, ignored any strange looks he received off of other patients, and rushed down the hall until he reached his room. Sweat began pouring down his face, not just because he was exhausted from running, the Heroin, or lack of it was causing this, the anxiety, the adrenalin rush.

He pressed his thumb to the pad, waited impatiently as it scanned his fingerprint and as soon as it granted access, he practically kicked open the door and slammed it shut behind him, almost in an attempt to shield himself from the world.

He thumped his head against the door, closed his eyes and tried to calm his sudden craving for a fix, tried to slow his breathing down. His skin was feverish, burning to the touch and he felt like his lungs were going to implode.

'Fuck'

When Ste turned, the sight before him was the last that he expected and he felt like he had been kicked in the gut.

There he was.

Brendan, stood, leaning against the bed post in a gorgeous, tight fitted suit, a smile plastered across his face.

'Bren?'

Ste croaked, almost like the words had been winded out of him, so unbelievable. He slowly walked over, not really sure what he was feeling.

_Happy?_

Sad?

Angry?

He allowed himself to go down which ever route that deemed necessary, and when he was merely a few inches away from the man he loved, he raised his hand, palm open and slapped Brendan across the face.

Brendan's head followed the direction of the slap, so shocked that he didn't turn back for a few seconds, but when he did, he wore an expression of confusion, horror in fact.

What the fuck?

'What was that for?!'

He bought a hand up to his face and rubbed his cheek, a rosy red handprint forming on his face.

Ste slapped him again, on the arm this time, channelled his anger and frustration through his fists. 'You didn't call!' _slap_ 'Not even a message!'_ slap_ 'Nothing-' _punch_ 'What so ever Brendan!'

He pushed the Irish man onto the bed, slapped him while he was down, his path obstructed by Brendan's guard.

'Wait! Steven please!'

He grabbed Ste's wrists, not tightly, but enough to restrain him and he got himself back to his feet, pushed the boy against the wall and pinned his wrists above his head, a shadow of guilt descending as he watched a tear stream down Ste's face.

'Two weeks. Two weeks without you. I... I felt like I couldn't breathe'

Ste whined, his head dropping between his shoulders as he sobbed, not too sure whether it was happiness because Brendan was finally here, or whether it was anger, because he felt like his man had just dumped him here without a word.

'I'm sorry. I thought you needed time... without me'

Brendan whispered as he pressed his forehead against Ste's, muzzling the tips of their noses together.

'You left me. It felt like... like my world had become... nothing. So empty, like it was crashing down all around me, because you weren't here, next to me, holding my hand like you are now. I thought I was suffocating... I thought... I thought you'd forgotten me'

Ste's words made Brendan feel like he had been shot in the chest. How could this boy, this beautiful boy ever think that Brendan had forgotten about him? Ste was the only thing on his mind, constantly, 24/7 without a shadow of a doubt. It was impossible to rid of the boy from his thoughts.

Ste was his entire world.

His everything.

'I could never, ever forget about you Steven. _Never._ _You_ are my life now. You understand?'

Brendan wanted to make that imperative, wanted to make sure that his boy could never think any differently.

'And besides, I've been pretty busy with the police-'

'Police? Why? What have you done now?!'

Cheeky bastard, thinking Brendan had gone and got himself into more trouble. It made Brendan smile to be fair, Ste's old self shining through.

'No. Not me. I had to give a statement about Ashley. He's been arrested and he'll be in court soon. Then I had to talk to them about what happened in the... in the where-house, and about Ricki, and what happened to Walker...'

He wasn't sure whether to continue. By the crease in Ste's forehead he assumed it was still a touchy subject, which was something to be expected.

'What... What else happened?'

Ste croaked, his enthusiasm and true enquiry kept to a minimum.

'Well, Maisy needed all of her jabs, Callum went and did that for me. Laura wanted all of the gossip on what happened. I didn't tell her much because I assumed you didn't want her knowing about... Yeah. Oh and I also, have your exams. I've dealt with everything'

Brendan hadn't realized that he was still pinning Ste's hands against the wall, so he let them down slowly, making sure that the boy wouldn't lash out again, which thankfully, he didn't.

'The moderator will be here in an hour, just to come and watch you take the exam and then he'll leave.'

Ste just nodded, wiped away the stray tears and smiled. It was a sight to behold, something that seemed unusual seeing as Brendan hadn't seen him smile in weeks.

'I've missed you so much!'

Ste threw his arms around Brendan's neck, plastered their bodies together, inhaled the familiar, expensive scent of his man and he fucking cherished it. He suddenly felt complete again, finally fathomed why he had felt so empty.

Brendan was everything to him now, his whole world, the reason why his world was turning right now, the reason he is still alive and breathing. The man is a drug, _his _drug, his own personal brand of cocaine and fuck. He loved him so much.

'I've missed you too'

Brendan mumbled in reply, against the boy's shoulder and he clung to his frail body, although it felt more full, more muscular since the beginning.

Minutes passed, yet they remained in the tight embrace, not wanting to let each other go, not wanting to part again.

'Don't leave it so long next time'

Ste said as he pulled away and looked Brendan in the eyes, his hands refusing to break physical contact from his man's body. He stayed close, just inches apart.

'I promise.'

It was Ste who made the lunge for a kiss, he swooped in, crushed their lips together desperately, but it was gentle rather than rushed. He took his time to familiarize himself with Brendan's mouth, every tooth, the texture and warmth of his tongue, the softness of his lips and the tickle of his moustache against his top lip.

It was fucking amazing.

He groaned loudly as he licked the underside of Brendan's tongue, as he felt his large, warm hands slip underneath his shirt and touch his skin, his nails lightly scraping at his bony hips.

'Happy to see me are we?'

Ste whispered against his mouth, blew lightly against his lips and watched as a smile spread across Brendan's face.

'Ask the semi in my pants.'

He growled, his eyes turning dark with lust and want and need.

'What've you been doing without me?'

Ste enquired, playing dumb because he wanted to hear the words, wanted Brendan to spell it out so he could picture it in his head.

'You tell me'

Shit.

Smart come back.

'Well... I haven't been holding back on the amount of wanks I've had'

Ste said, in a warm, seducing tone, enriched with innuendo and sexual suggestion. He saw Brendan's body twitch, the bulge in his trousers growing bigger, and it started to dig against Ste's leg.

'How... How many have you had?'

Brendan croaked, having to clear his throat before finishing his question, and he suddenly became a nervous wreck, his legs beginning to tremble. It had been a while for the both of them and needless to say, they were fucking gagging for it.

'I dunno... Maybe 20'

He watched Brendan gulp, saw how a thin layer of sweat was gathering on his forehead.

'And guess what'

Ste said, as he pushed his man onto the bed and climbed on top, straddled his hips while walking his fingers up Brendan's chest.

'What?'

Brendan replied, his voice still croaky and weak.

'I was thinking of your dick... every single time'

'Oh god'

His head dropped back into the soft mattress. He couldn't look at his boy. Not while he was this horny and not while Ste was handing himself over on a plate.

He'd ruin him, and after everything, he'd understand if the boy was a little uncomfortable.

No.

He had to let Ste take control, let him cross the line when comfortable.

'We've got an hour right?'

Ste asked as he began frantically undoing the buttons on Brendan's shirt. He simply nodded in reply, allowed the boy to do whatever he wanted.

He felt Ste's warm fingers trace over every contour of his chest and stomach, squeaking slightly as he pinched and licked and sucked on his nipples and he couldn't help but grab the boy's arse, massage the round globes and give it a good old slap. His palms and Ste's bum fitted together perfectly, like they were moulded to size.

Ste bent over and kissed the Irish man again, hungry to taste him and make up for all of this lost time. He bit on Brendan's bottom lip lightly, grazed his teeth over his jaw and kissed his warm neck, muzzled his face in there as he began to unbuckle Brendan's belt.

He couldn't take it anymore, couldn't go without barely touching the boy and his lust took over far too quickly, resulting in him grabbing Ste by the shoulders, flipping him onto his back whilst pinning his hands above his head, completely restraining him, no room to move what so ever, complete spur of the moment, but it made the boy freak, wriggle and squirm frantically beneath him, kicking and screaming.

'No! Get off... Get off!'

Brendan let go immediately, jumped back with such force that he fell off of the bed, landed flat on his back.

'I'm sorry. Steven... I'm sorry'

He clambered to his feet, carefully perched on the end of the bed. He didn't want to enter his personal space. Not yet. It'd make him feel too uncomfortable, too invaded.

The boy had his arms wrapped around his knees, like a defence mechanism. Brendan practically kicked himself.

Stupid twat.

'You can't do that. You can't... No.'

Ste was trembling, shaking his head vigorously, clawing at his own wrists with his uncut nails, causing blood to rise to the surface, but Brendan knew he couldn't physically stop the boy. He had to try and verbally calm him down.

'I know. I'm so sorry.'

'Not after _he_ tied me up. No.'

'I know...I won't do that again. I promise. You can strap me down if you want'

Now it was just excuses, anything to calm him down because his skin was red raw from the constant scratching.

Plus he still had an erection which needed attending too and he could see the hard on in Ste's trousers.

'Strap you down eh?'

He said, his posture beginning to relax slightly.

'Anything you want'

Brendan reassured him, slowly reached out a hand half way, tried to encourage Ste to touch him.

The boy untangled his arms from around his legs, got up onto his knees and touched his fingertips to Brendan's palm, slowly shuffled over to him and sat back down.

'You can touch me just... I can't...'

He struggled to get his words out, not wanting to sound pathetic, but also it meant that he'd have to replay everything that happened in order to justify his reasons.

'You can't pin me down, or restrain me. He tied me up for nearly 3 days and I can't...'

'I know. It's okay.'

He gently stroked a thumb down Ste's cheek, smiled reassuringly and Ste smiled back, happy that Brendan understood.

'Can I top?'

'You've got the power boy'

Brendan growled seductively, went in and kissed the boy, rekindled the fire and the passion, kissed him with such need that his balls were aching, in such dire need of release.

Brendan allowed Ste to pin him to the bed, strip him of his shirt and lick all over him, every inch of his torso. Instead of pushing his head down into his body, he stroked the boy's hair gently, allowed him to get used to it, made sure he didn't feel pressured.

Ste picked up from where he left off in terms of undoing Brendan's trousers. He unzipped him, slid his hand inside and watched Brendan's face with dark eyes, saw how he was desperate for the sexual contact. He curled his fingers around the Irish man's cock, gently stroked and pumped him, swiped the pre-cum away that had gathered in the slit with his fingers and then sucked on them, moaned at the delectable, salty taste of his man.

He suddenly took Brendan in whole, every single inch, causing his body to jolt in pleasure and he groaned and whined, a way of masking any such orders that he'd usually use on the boy in the bedroom.

Ste sucked on Brendan's foreskin, licked furiously all over, took him down until he was halfway down his throat, almost choking, taking deep throating to a whole new level. Brendan was in a complete mess, he involuntarily lifted his hips, tried to get more of Ste's gorgeous mouth around him, then realised what he was doing and bought them back down again.

However the boy couldn't get enough.

He encouraged him to lift his pelvis again by slipping his hands underneath Brendan's firm arse and pulling him up towards his mouth.

The lust and want of Brendan's dick completely over ruled any of his insecurities and fears right now, especially when he had his man making the most gorgeous, incoherent noises above him.

'Fuck! Steven come here'

Brendan pulled on the lad's t-shirt, his dick starting to feel cold as it left the delicious, warm, wet heat of Ste's mouth.

'What are you gunna do to me?'

Ste asked, a little too warily for Brendan's liking, almost as if he was scared that he'd go back on his promise.

'Gunna rim you until you're screaming'

He pulled the boy up until his hips were above his face and he tugged at Ste's trousers, pulled them down over his gorgeous, peachy, golden arse and he bit on one of the cheeks, causing him to yelp.

'Ow!'

Brendan just giggled, helped the boy to climb out of his trousers and boxers, carelessly throwing them across the room. He merely admired Ste's pert arse, stroked his palms over the toned globes, giving them a slap and watching them jiggle.

Brendan put a hand on each arse cheek, spread them apart and gazed at Ste's ready and puckered hole. He swiped his tongue over the boy's entrance, causing him to jolt slightly and then he furiously licked him, devoured everything, ate his ass like it was his last meal and god, had he missed this, the intimacy, sexual contact. It was driving him crazy.

Ste rocked his hips back and forth over Brendan's tongue, and the Irish man pulled him down so he was practically sitting on his face. The pleasure was all too much. He hadn't had it in so long that every twitch of orgasm that rippled through him felt 100x amplified.

'Fuck Bren. Yes'

Ste couldn't help but jerk himself off simultaneously, long, hard strokes as Brendan fucked him with his tongue, completely insatiable.

Brendan rubbed a finger over his tight entrance, massaged it and looked into Ste's eyes, questioned whether he was ready for this, whether he was ready for sex.

'You wanna?'

He asked, his finger still rubbing over the boy's hole to try and make him feel reassured that he was going to take it slow.

'Just... Be gentle with me'

Ste was scared of the fact that there might be scars, from all of the rapes, all of the times he was left bleeding. But Brendan wasn't any of those men. Out of everyone, he would understand. Brendan was the love of his life, the man who would do anything, be anything for him, who'd take things slow on his behalf. He put every ounce of trust into him, handed his heart over on a silver platter knowing full well that Brendan would protect it.

He slowly allowed Brendan's finger to slip into his pink hole, massage his insides and the sensation was much more pleasurable than expected. He'd obviously healed relatively well and in all honesty, it didn't feel much different. The pleasure was still immense, it still sent his heart rate through the roof, still pumped that heap of adrenalin through his veins.

'Add another one Bren. Fuck'

He slowly added another finger, watched as it went up inside his boy, completely mesmerized, aroused at the moans escaping Ste's mouth, the amount of _mmm_'s, _fuck's_ and _oh yeah'_s.

Fucking sexy.

He lifted himself off of Brendan's fingers, lunged at the draw at his bedside and pulled out a condom and some lube.

'Took these before we left'

Ste clarified, which fizzled out Brendan's question, but his eyebrows were still raised.

What was he planning on doing with them, when he'd barely see him?

'No, I wasn't going to use them on anyone else. But I wasn't going to let this bed stay a virgin to our sex sessions'

He said, almost as if he had read Brendan's mind. He bit on his lip as he rolled the condom onto the Irish man's cock, spat in his hand and pumped him a few times before slicking him and himself up with lube. Brendan watched as Ste fingered himself, stretched himself back up, completely entranced by how the boy's face creased with pleasure.

'Gentle remember?'

Ste enforced, knew how Brendan could become wild in bed, but the sincerity in his eyes told him otherwise.

'I promise.'

He reassured, ran his fingertips over Ste's thighs and smiled a genuine smile.

The boy straddled Brendan's hips again, put a hand either side of his head and took a deep breath, held on to that reassurance in his man's eyes and he stopped breathing when he felt the tip of Brendan's cock press against his entry, his heart banging in his ears and he slowly allowed the penetration.

_F-F-Fuck_

'You okay? You want me to stop?'

Brendan asked, his hand tentatively stroking Ste's back under the material of his shirt.

'No. Don't stop. Don't ever stop.'

It was painful, but it was like losing his virginity all over again. He knew that the pain would ease off, he'd get used to it.

He slowly started to rise and fall, took it inch by inch, lower and lower until he was finally seated and he felt the familiar tingle of Brendan's dick against his prostate. Fuck it felt so good, so recognisable.

'Nice and slow'

Ste said, his eyes clamped shut until he felt comfortable enough to open them. He felt Brendan's warm hands on his hips, heard him grunt as he pulled out and went back in a little faster.

He was eventually balls deep, and Brendan allowed that control that Ste needed, let the boy do whatever he wanted.

Ste rotated his hips in a circular motion, clawed his fingernails down Brendan's naked chest and flung his head back as the painful burn began to ease off and it was replaced by pleasure, such intense pleasure.

'Oh yeah. God Bren. Fuck me'

Ste lifted his hips, allowed Brendan to fuck him properly, starting off slowly and then speeding up upon order from his boy, until he was shagging him deep and proper.

'Yes Bren! Fuck!'

Jesus.

Hearing the boy scream his name just sent him well and truly over the edge, drove him fucking wild. He thrusted into the boy with everything he had, the wet and hot heat, so perfect around him and he was close. So close, but he held out, no idea how, until he had his boy on the end of that serrated knife edge.

Brendan sat up so the boy was still on top of him, slapped Ste's hand away and took over tossing him off, and Ste clung to his man, locked his arms around his neck and pulled their foreheads together, inhaled the air that Brendan exhaled.

'I'm gunna...Fuck Bren, I'm...'

His sentences were unfathomable, incoherent, unstructured, and Brendan finally let go when Ste spunked into his hand, crying out in pure ecstasy, his vision shadowed by a white cloud of sexual musk.

Brendan collapsed back into the mattress in exhaustion, his breathing, deep and laboured. He was still buried deep inside of Ste's arse, his warm heat still engulfing him, and the boy lay on top of him once he'd finished licking his own cum off his hand.

'My god.'

He whispered into Ste's hair, kissed his feverish forehead and let the post orgasmic haze take him.

'I never want to have to wait that long ever again'

Ste replied, huffing a laugh, yet he felt complete with Brendan, here, next to him. Like nothing could touch him, nothing could hurt him. Not now anyway.

'They told me... They told me you haven't been doing as well as they hoped'

Brendan muttered out of the blue, knocking Ste off guard, offending him almost, as if they had been talking to Brendan behind his back, like a teacher telling the parents of a child about their misbehaviour.

'It is hard you know.'

Ste blasted in defence, but he didn't rise from Brendan's embrace.

'No, I know it is. I ain't having a go at you.'

He soothingly stroked his boy's shoulders, the way he always did.

'I'm just saying, you have to open up about it. Eventually. No one is going to push you. Not even me'

Ste considered. He didn't think he'd ever be ready, but maybe this was what it was all about, pushing yourself beyond the boundaries and beyond the comfort zone, even if it is into the darkest of corners.

He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but reconsidered, yet Brendan's touch seemed to encourage him. He was right. He had to face up to it someday.

'You know... You know when he took me?'

'Yeah?'

This was a good enough sign, that Ste was even considering talking about it. Brendan felt the need to facilitate things further, allow the boy to feel free, to shake the devil off of his back.

'He just... came in and grabbed me. Then Ashley pulled my Leah out of bed by her hair. She was just... screaming. And I couldn't do anything about it, couldn't protect her, my own baby girl. When I did struggle, Walker injected me... that's when I woke up in that where-house.'

He cut off for a minute, almost as if he was trying to re-charge his batteries, like he was thinking about whether to continue.

'Our Lucas was already awake, then... when Leah woke up, she tried to beat him up'

Ste giggled to himself about that, his brave little girl, trying to defend her daddy. Nothing made him more proud.

'Then, he pointed a gun at her... but he told them to leave and they did. After... that's when...when...'

'It's okay. You don't have to tell me now if you don't want to'

Brendan continued to stroke his shoulders, back and forth over Ste's warm golden skin. Ste shook his head, unable to carry on, but he was proud of himself. He'd gotten further than he had before, and it felt so good. Already he felt slightly better for talking about it.

'It's okay. I'm proud of you.'

Brendan whispered and he kissed Ste's forehead and the tip of his nose before climbing out of bed and searching for his clothes. Ste's eyes followed him, focused mainly on his now flaccid cock, loose and dangling.

Jesus.

How he wanted it down his throat again.

He admired every ripped muscle that he'd gained during his time in custody, muscles that he'd managed to maintain, every contour, every small scar, the tattoos, any freckles.

He was truly beautiful.

'Come on. You've gotta get dressed'

Brendan threw on his boxers then reached for his bag that Ste hadn't noticed in the corner of the room. He threw a pile of clothes onto the bed.

'You have to be wearing your school uniform during the exam.'

'Oh. Okay'

He quickly got dressed, straightened himself out in the mirror and then waited, perching on the edge of the bed until the moderator came.

'Steven?'

Brendan asked as he lightly touched Ste's shoulder.

'Yeah?'

'I can't be in here with you when the examiner comes in. He knows I'm your teacher, and procedure states that there can't be a teacher present as it brings risks of cheating or hinting.'

Ste objected immediately. He didn't want to be left in a room with a stranger. No. This wasn't happening.

'No! No'

He started to enter a stage of panic, his breathing suddenly becoming erratic, uncontrollable, his head turning fuzzy and he couldn't think straight. What if something happened?! What if he was an imposter and he was just pretending to be a moderator?!

'No no no no!'

'Steven. Hey!'

Brendan grabbed Ste's wrists, forced eye contact and kissed his lips, shut him up in the easiest way possible.

'Everything, will be fine. I'll wait outside the entire time okay? Trust me. I'll be right here.'

Ste trusted him immediately, he didn't need the reassurance. Not this time.

'Okay... okay'

He took a deep breath, got on his tiptoes and wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck, hugged him until he heard the sound of a car engine, and he immediately knew that this was it.

'Good luck'


	37. Love is blind

Ste sat in silence, flicking his pen between his fingers aimlessly, fiercely concentrating on the exam before him in the process of ignoring the examiner sat only meters away. It was distracting, having another person in the room. It was also slightly awkward because it was just the two of them and Ste couldn't help feeling paranoid, thought that this man was judging him because of course, they were in a rehabilitation centre after all.

The Mancunian couldn't help moving his gaze upwards every so often, wanted to see if he was under the scrutiny that he felt, weather he was under an intense, knife like glare. But he wasn't. The moderator was busy reading a book, his eyes drifting from left to right as he scanned the words quickly, his breathing shallow and body still. The silence made Ste's senses tingle. He could hear the amplified ticking of the clock, a persistent thump against his ear drums. The song of the birds was piercing, mind splitting noise, the brawls of fellow patients vibrated through the floor and up his legs to the back off his neck. It made his skin crawl, made him hot and sweaty and unable to think. He began to mindlessly tap his foot, spin his pen faster between his fingers.

'I need a break'

Ste snapped, slamming his pen down on the table, so hard that it cracked beneath his moist palm. The older gent peered above the binding of his book, silent at first.

'I'm sorry young man, but having a break half way through an exam is against regulations'

He replied calmly, folding the top corner of the page and placing it down next to him.

'I'm dyslexic. I have allowance of a fifteen minute break and half an hour extra time.'

His face didn't falter. Instead he reached for his briefcase, flicked it open and ruffled through some papers.

'Ah, I see. Indeed you're right. But regulations also state that I have to accompany you where ever you go to ensure that you're not being helped or lead.'

'Whatever'

Ste threw open the door, his breathing erratic and skin dripping. Brendan had kept his word and was sat outside, was now standing due to Ste's horrific condition.

'You can't be finished already'

'I can't do it Brendan. I can't'

He choked, a strangled cry that cracked his voice and dried his throat.

'What do you mean? Hey what's wrong?'

Brendan's brows knitted as he took a step forward and raised a hand to touch Ste's cheek, but the boy dodged the contact, his eyes welling with tears. The next thing he knew, he was sprinting down the corridor towards the toilets, was in desperate need of a fix. His veins were burning, tears were streaming down his cheeks. With this itch, this burn, there was no way in hell that he could concentrate, not when he was inside this prison, when he was cut off from the world and everyone in it.

Ste barged open the door to the toilets, ignored all of Brendan's protests and he locked himself into one of the cubicles, sunk to the floor in an emotional heap, his back pressed against the plastic side.

Brendan and the examiner entered moments later.

'Steven, talk to me'

The Irishamn pressed his hands against the cubicle door, was desperate to know what had caused this breakdown. Before he had left the room, Ste was fine, was ready to take his exam. The boy let out a minute whimper, wanted to talk to Brendan, wanted to spill every emotion but they were unfathomable. He had no idea what he was feeling, his head all over the place, didn't know what he wanted because all of his thoughts were now being obstructed by the craving for Herion. The withdrawal symptoms were driving him crazy, the amplified noises, the burning skin, fuzzy brain and psychotic twitches. He wanted to put an end to it all.

'I must insist that we go back to the examination room. Or somewhere that I can at least watch over his actions'

The moderator muttered awkwardly.

'Can you leave me with him for just a minute?'

Brendan asked, turned to get a real look at the man. He was medium height, had little to no hair, only a few whisps of grey. He was shaven, cleanly cut and dressed appropriately in a suit, circular glasses sitting comfortably at the end of his nose. He was looking at Brendan in disagreement, a look of sympathy on his face.

'Please. He's been through a lot. We just need a minute together alone and I'll have him back with you. I promise.'

He was pleading, was doing anything to get his way on this because Ste needed him. For two weeks straight, he had practically rejected him, had left him without a phone call or a visit. The guilt was eating away at him.

'Okay. Okay. But you may not help him out, it's against the rules and if I find any evidence of aid, then I will disqualify him formally and he shan't be able to carry out the rest of his exams'

'Yes, I am aware of the rules. I am a teacher after all'

The older man exited without another word, gave Brendan a stern look which the Irishman returned. The door creaked shut, leaving Ste and Brendan in silence.

'Steven?'

Brendan asked sceptically, not really sure on whether the boy was going to rip his head off because of the obvious craving. He gently knocked on the door with his knuckles, wanted to approach the matter softly.

'Go away Brendan. I'm not going back into that room. It's driving me crazy'

He said, his voice wet with emotion. He was scratching again, scraping his nails against his skin. Brendan could hear it, hear the force.

'Please just come out so we can talk about this. I could see whether you can finish the exam another time or something.'

'No! I don't want to do any of them for fuck sake. I just want... Need-'

'There's no point in trying to guilt me. I ain't getting you anymore of that shit. That's why you're here.'

Ste huffed heavily and sunk his head back into his arms that lay folded on his knees. He cried into the free space, didn't stop scratching his arms and wrists because he wanted to sink his nails into his flesh so the itching would stop, put an end to the stinging.

'You can borrow these if you want?'

Ste lifted his head and saw that Brendan had slipped his hand underneath the cubicle door. Inside his hand lay a pair of blue ear plugs.

'Why do you have those?'

He asked, taking the two, small rubber objects out of his lover's hand and squeezing on them.

'I've been having trouble sleeping'

'Since when?'

'Since you've been in here. I used to watch you sleep sometimes, listen to your breathing and watch your eyes flicker. I dunno why, it just, calmed me down I guess, knowing you were there next to me. Now, all I have is Cheryl's snooring.'

Ste's face cracked into a smile. Brendan wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping. Ste would sometimes sit on the balcony outside of his room all night, would think about many things. Brendan mostly. The man never left his mind, dominated every thought. Even in his absence, the boy still thought he could smell him, would roll over at dawn and think he could smell the Irishman's hair gel on the pillow.

He would then burst into tears.

'Do you believe in fate?'

Ste asked, twisting and manipulating a rubber earplug beneath his fingers.

'No'

Brendan replied without hesitation.

'Why? Don't you think we were fated to be together?'

'I think we were _meant _to be together. Not fated. Fate implies that the things that have happened, are planned by someone other than yourself. You write your own future. You choose to either go right or left or straight ahead and it defines who you are. You're either a risk taker and take a path that can lead to anything, a person who likes to stay safe by choosing the same path over and over again, or you're a failure. I just think... If I never found you, then I would have died trying'

Was Brendan implying that Ste's future was chosen? Did he think that he had a choice to sell his body? Did he think that the events that went down in that where-house were his fault?

'So, am I a failure then?'

Ste snapped, started to squeeze on the ear plugs with all of his might, needed to release this anger that was quickly building.

'No. You're a risk taker. You risked your life for your children, risked being with me despite the dangers and many possible outcomes and I'm the same. But sometimes, risks don't always go according to plan. And sometimes, the pen is snatched away from you. You have no idea what is being written. No one has the power to deviate from that path, you only have the power to bend it'

Brendan's hand still lay underneath the cubicle door, his fingers bent and palm warm. Ste reached out and took Brendan's hand in his own, kissed each finger tip delicately.

'Why do you have these ear plugs Bren?'

Ste asked again, bent over, kept his lips pressed against Brendan's knuckles.

'I told you-'

'No, I mean, why do you have them on you _now?'_

There was a silence for a minute, only the sound of light commotion from fellow patients could be heard. Brendan sighed heavily, didn't see any point in lying to the boy.

'I slept at home for the first week, and Cheryl's snooring kept me awake. And... This week, I've been sleeping in my car...'

He trailed off, hadn't planned on telling Ste that.

'Why have you slept in the car?'

Ste asked in confusion, didn't understand what Brendan was telling him.

'My car is just down the road Steven. I couldn't sleep being so far away from you, so I figured, if I moved myself a little closer to you, then... Things would be easier'

Brendan muttered, thought he sounded pathetic because of the sentiment. Never the less, it worked. He could see Ste's room from where he was, would see the boy walk out onto the balcony and sit by himself for hours. Each of those hours, he watched, admired, wished he could be sat beside him but Brendan thought Ste needed space, didn't want him to become dependent. It also made it easier for Brendan to gather intel on how Ste was doing, what progress he had made. The drive to school in the morning was slightly longer but each night in the car was worth the neck cramp and stiff back.

'So, you've slept in the car this past week, and all of that time, you've been just down the road from me? And you never bothered to visit?'

Ste mumbled, wasn't really sure whether he was angry or whether he found the sentiment heart warming. He got to his feet regardless, wiped away the remaining tears in his eyes and unlocked the cubicle door, was met by the Irishman shuffling on his feet, hands shoved in his pockets and head hung between his shoulders. Ste walked towards him and hooked two fingers under the older man's chin, lifted so he was looking at him in the eyes. They stared for a few moments, although it seemed longer than _a moment._

Without a word, Ste moved in and captured Brendan's lips in a longing kiss. He wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck, his fingers raked through his thick, black hair, pulling and tugging as the kiss became more intimate and desperate and passionate. They licked out each other's mouths, Berdnan's hands sat comfortably on Ste's hips, drawing their pelvis' together, rubbing ever so minutely and deliciously.

_'_Steven'

Brendan murmured reluctantly, tearing his lips away from the heat filled kiss.

'We need to go back'

He whispered with regret, pressing his forehead against Ste's and breathing his Carbon Dioxide. The younger man's shoulders fell in disappointment. He knew that he had to go back and finish, but he wanted to stay with Brendan more, endless hours of his presence never being enough.

'Okay'

He muttered, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout.

'You've got an hour left. I want you to walk back into that room and smash the shit out of that exam okay? I know you can do it. Pull yourself together yeah?'

Brendan said, giving Ste's body a small shake to rid of any scepticism and fear, knew the boy could do this with or without him being there. Ste nodded, gave Brendan another kiss, took his hand and walked out of the toilets back towards his room. They didn't exchange a word on the small journey back, only clung to one another's hands, both as nervous as each other.

When they reached the room, the examiner was already sat inside, indulged in his book once again.

'Good luck...again'

Brendan whispered into Ste's ear, gave the boy's cheek a small kiss and nudged him back inside. Ste didn't turn back, walked into the room with his head held high, sat in his place and subtly placed the blue ear plugs inside his ears. He ran his ringers through his hair, took a deep breath and picked up his cracked pen and started to scribble down his answers as fast as possible.

* * *

Brendan remained outside, his leg bouncing up and down, just as, if not more nervous than the first time. Ste's break down had come out of the blue, completely caught him off guard and panicked him in a way because he had no idea what to do. He had managed to handle Vinnie's break downs easily enough by just having sex with him, but this was different, Ste was different. He cared for him more, loved him more and he wanted to handle him delicately, sensibly. Sex was a huge factor in their relationship, intimacy and pleasure, nothing being more satisfying than hearing the other cry out during orgasm. But there were times, times like these, that sex wasn't necessary. When Vinnie had rejected sex from Brendan, when he had rejected it to cut himself and inject himself further, Brendan had gone out and slept with other willing men. He loved Vinnie, there was no doubt about it, but he wasn't _in _love. He would never have cheated other wise.

The thought of having sex with another man now repulsed Brendan. Sex had never been better than it was with Ste, nothing and no one could match it. The mere idea insulted him.

He kept twisting his wrist to look at the time, each minute passing slowly. There was only a small amount of time left now until the boy had to finish. Brendan didnt really care if he had done badly, commended the boy enough for even attempting, he only hoped that the exam was a nice one, for Ste's sake.

The door opened abruptly and out walked the moderator, Ste's exam paper in hand. He passed without a word, grimaced slightly in Brendan's direction, yet the Irishman ignored it, simply strode passed him and entered. Ste was sat on his bed, picking at his nails.

'You okay? How did it go?'

Brendan asked, taking a seat next to him and circling an arm around his waist.

'I didn't finish, but it went alright I guess'

He mumbled in reply, didn't sound too disappointed with his performance, which reassured Brendan slightly.

'That's okay. You did your best and that's all you can do. Don't dwell on it now, anyway, I have a surprise for you.'

Ste looked up towards the older man, smiled at the eager expression on his face, yet frowned at what he could possibly have that would surprise him. Brendan took hold of Ste's hand as if reading his mind and lead him out of the room, down the spiralling staircase out onto the lawn of freshly cut green grass, the birds singing pleasantly, a sound that was no longer penetrating Ste's ear drums like chalk on a whiteboard.

'Where are we going?'

Ste asked, a couple of paces behind Brendan, having to jog slightly in order to keep up.

'You'll see'

They walked down the green together, swinging their arms back and forth and stopping to kiss, quick and wet and domestic, smiling at the end to each other lovingly.

'Look'

Brendan stopped in his tracks and pointed off in a random direction. Ste followed his finger, his jaw dropping at the sight he laid eyes on.

'Oh my god!'

Callum, Amy, Leah and Lucas, were all sat at the bottom in the evening sun on a picnic blanket, food and drinks scattered about with cartons of juice for the children. They were all mucking about aimlessly, Callum pretending to be a monster, chasing Leah about whilst Lucas played the hero, stabbing at him with a foam sword. Amy sat pleasantly by herself and watched on, giggling and sipping orange juice with a straw.

'I thought you needed a little pick me up'

Brendan blushed in embarrassment, a small and satisfied smile on his face. Ste's grin only widened, his love never feeling as intense as it did now. He jumped happily on the spot and smacked an almighty kiss on Brendan's lips before sprinting down the lawn and sweeping up his children into his arms. He clung to their small bodies, was close to tears as they told him how much they had missed him. Leah and Lucas ended up getting into a fight, a debate on who had missed him more.

Brendan sat silently on the blanket, watched his lover as he doted on his children and play fought with them, something he hadn't done in over a month, something he now appreciated, hearing them laugh and giggle at the hands of their father.

'Daddy, daddy stop it tickles!'

Ste finally showed some mercy and gave in to tickling Leah's ribs, rolled onto his back and gazed at the cloudless sky, was exhausted already but had never felt so alive, so happy. Leah flopped on top of him, rested her small head on his chest, her blonde hair falling in front of her face. They hugged for what felt like an eternity, really were father and daughter. Biology meant nothing when it came to the two of them.

'Are you and daddy Brendan going to get married?'

Leah asked out of the blue, every muscle in Ste's body tensing at the sudden question.

'Me and who?'

Ste replied, wanted know know if he had heard her correctly.

'You and daddy Brendan. Mummy said that sometimes, boys don't love girls. Some boys love other boys and girls love other girls. She told me that special families have a mummy and two daddies, like our family, and that you love Brendan. So are you and daddy Brendan going to get married?'

Ste was absolutely stunned at the question. He hadn't even thought about telling the children he was gay, was scared of what they might think. Of course, they had bumped into Walker on a few occasions but they had never asked about him and who he was so Ste had simply assumed that Amy hadn't told them. But she had beaten him to it in this case. They obviously accepted it, him and Brendan, their young minds so open to anything and everything.

'Why do you call him Daddy Brendan?'

Ste asked, was curious as to how that name came about.

'Because you love him, and me and Lucas love him too. He baked cake with us the other day. I saved you a bit. And he also saved us from the bad man remember?'

Ste's smile fell. He had hoped they'd forgotten about that, that horrendous experience they all shared. He could hardly understand how unchanged Leah was, especially after she had been held at gun point and had her nose broken. Ste analysed his daughter's face for a minute, noticed that her nose had healed well and there was little disfigurement. She obviously got her determination and carry on attitude from Amy, because all he had to do was look at where he was now to know she hadn't gotten it from him. He'd gone off the rails, wasn't as strong as his little girl.

'Yeah, I remember. You don't have to worry about him ever again okay? He can't hurt us anymore. Daddy will be able to come home soon as well. He just needs to stay here a little bit longer until he feels better'

Leah nodded, was still, thankfully, unaware of where Ste was and the reasoning behind it. He gave her a small kiss on the head and she rolled off of him, went over and crawled into Brendan's lap. Ste's jaw dropped. Never had he seen that before, had only dreamed of his children and his lover bonding like that. His chest felt fuzzy with warmth and adoration, his face gleaming with a smile as he watched Brendan wrap up her tiny figure in his large arms. She too whispered something in his ear and Brendan's gaze flicked towards him, a mischievous smile on his face. He chuckled before whispering back and Ste couldn't help feeling some what paranoid.

'What you whispering about?'

He asked, his brows knitting together as he crawled over and rested his head on Brendan's knee.

'Nothing for you to worry about.'

Brendan replied, sneakily exchanging a wink with the little girl that was still in his arms. Ste didn't want to push any further, thought that the tone would change if he started to let his paranoia get to him. It had increased dramatically since the incident with Walker, the Heroin probably a contributing factor.

The night passed far too quickly for Ste's liking, within a couple of hours, they all had to leave. The sun was setting behind the hills, the birds were taking to their trees and the kids were beginning to tire. Lucas had fallen asleep in Callum's arms and Leah was fit to sleep on Brendan, her eyes drifting open and then closing seconds later, her mouth stretching into a large yawn.

All of them made their way to Brendan's car and climbed inside after their farewell's. Amy had told him to stay brave, to progress so he could go home because she missed him. Callum had playfully punched and slapped him in a brotherly way, their usual, provocative banter, had said that he'll be fine and they'll see him soon. Brendan had leaned against the drivers side of the car, kissed Ste passionately for the final time that night and told him that he loved him, cheesily compared his love too the number of stars. Never the less, it put a smile on Ste's face.

Then they drove away and Ste was now climbing up the winding staircase, a smile embedded on his face. He felt on top of the world, felt back to normal almost, although he knew that this feeling was only temporary, knew that when he would wake up, his skin would be on fire and his head would be screaming.

'Psssst!'

The noise startled Ste, made him jump out of his memory swarm. He came to a halt in the middle of the hall, looked about yet saw nothing and wondered whether he had imagined it. He continued, but then heard it again although it was louder this time.

'Pssssst! Over here'

Ste stopped again, was starting to get a little freaked out. His heart increased slightly, his breathing got faster. He searched about again and then saw that one of the doors to a room was slightly open, and a pair of eyes were staring out of the gap. A finger came between the free space and indicated for him to come over, so Ste obliged, didn't want to get on the wrong side of one of the patients.

The man was slightly older than he was, his eyes wide and blue. He was jittery, kept twitching and shaking like he was being shocked with electricity, his head twisting from side to side. He seemed paranoid, kept looking behind Ste's shoulder to check they weren't being watched.

'You want some stuff?'

He asked, his voice deep and gruff. The older man licked his cracked lips, and mischievously smiled.

'Some what?'

Ste replied sceptically, feeling paranoid himself, looking about to see if anyone was watching. This man made him nervous, made him feel on edge.

'Stuff'

He said again. He reached out an arm and created a stabbing notion, like an injection and then it clicked. Ste knew that it was unlikely that this man had a fix on him because they were in a high profile building. It would be practically impossible for anyone to bring drugs into this facility. Although, the boy couldn't help feeling tempted into saying yes, because the question had never arisen. If it had a couple of weeks ago then he would have jumped at the chance.

'No...No I'm good'

'Gunna get a smuggler... Get him to bring some. It'll be good stuff. Promise.'

The man whispered once again, a persuasive smile on his face. He was nodding, was trying to get Ste to do the same and mirror his actions but Ste was too busy thinking about it. How good it would feel, the craving that it would soothe. But he also had to think of his family, of Brendan. Tonight had been one of the best nights of his life and he wanted to be back with them as soon as possible. It made him realise how much he really did miss his children and Callum and Amy, made him realise what he was missing. The longer he was in here, the longer he would miss out.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and reluctantly said;

'No.'

* * *

The next morning, Ste awoke peacefully from a deep sleep, the best he had had the whole time he'd been in rehab. The sun was shining through the peaks in the curtans and the birds were singing contently.

The Mancunian got dressed quickly, brushed his teeth and went down stairs into the dining room to have breakfast, had seemingly built up quite an appetite, something that was rather unusual but something he was delighted about because he classed that as progress. However, Ste was put on edge straight away when the jittery man from the previous night entered the room, twitching and shaking and scratching his arms. He searched the room, was obviously looking for Ste for some apparent reason, an invalid reason because Ste had already rejected him once. What wasn't there to understand? He wanted no part in this because he was finally getting somewhere and there was no way in hell that he was going to mess it up.

The man smiled when their eyes met, his brows low and grin wide like the Cheshire cat. He didn't approach though, simply went away and sat with his equally strange aquaitances.

Ste hadn't really made friends within the facility, saw no point because he didn't plan on staying long and he didn't want there to be any distractions while he was inside, wanted and needed to progress as soon as possible so he could get out and be where he needed to be.

Breakfast was placed in front of him, a full English fry up seeing as it was that glorious day of the week. It made Ste feel even better for some reason, because the last fry up he had, was with Brendan after a night in which they had had sex all night. Literally.

Ste tucked into his breakfast straight away, hoovered it down within minutes and escaped the dining room quickly, was starting to feel extremely uncomfortable because 'Twitch', a witty name that Ste had come up with for the man who had tried to tempt him, was continuing to stare at him while he ate.

He hadn't thought that he'd ever be heading in this direction, down this corridor, had always felt forced into doing so but now he was ready. He balled his fist and knocked on the oak door, waited and listened for the muffled entrance allowance and walked inside confidently.

'Ah Ste. What can I help you with'

Anna, the therapist, was sat at her wooden desk, papers scattered and a mug of steaming tea sat in front of her.

'I want to talk'

He said and Anna smiled, had obviously predicted that this would happen, this would be the outcome of numerous failures. She indicated for him to take a seat and he did, perched opposite her and took a deep breath before running through the entire story from scratch, wasn't going to hold anything back, not this time.

He started with how he and Walker met, the problems that had occurred between him and Brendan and how they had split up, how Walker quickly became a part of his life and how rushed their 'relationship' was, if you can even class it as that. He explained how he was manipulated into selling his body, went into the infinite details of who he saw and for how much. He told her that he ended up sleeping with Brendan again, told her that that was when he had fallen in love all over again. She asked why Ste thought Walker did all of this, why he was the targeted one and he explained, that Brendan had apparently sold a dodgy pill to his little brother and all of this was some sort of revenge.

'Did you ever stop loving Brendan?'

She asked, like she had simply plucked the question from the air.

'No. Never. I guess I just got sick of how he treated me at one point. He kept getting hung up on Vinnie and stuff, and I didn't feel like I was good enough. I said some nasty things and I know that, I said sorry for that'

'The where-house. What happened in there?'

She asked, and this was the part that Ste was nervous about because that was the darkest point, the point that had the ability to make him cower in fear and want more drugs because every feeling and thought came flooding back.

'Walker broke into Amy's house and his other brother... Ashley, took my kids. He was meant to be one of my best friends...'

Ste trailed off, was overcome by hurt once again at that betrayal.

'Do you think Ashley was always in on this? To get Brendan sent down?'

She asked, was genuinely curious. That was a question that he couldn't answer, had no idea what had been going on, whether the incident with his brother had happened while he was in school and the opportunity came about when Brendan had started working there, or whether Walker had been tracking Brendan's every move and sent Ashley in to gather intel. This lie lead to many questions because Ste had only known Ashley for about two years. Was he the age that he said he was? Or had he managed to manipulate the systems and get into a school as under cover almost?

'I don't know. I think he wanted justice but I also think that he was manipulated by Walker as well. Just like I was.'

'How did you feel when Ashley grabbed your children?'

Ste hated these tedious questions, thought they were pointless because the answers were obvious, blatent.

'Betrayed I guess, because me and him had done so much together. He was on the football team and I went along to some of the games. We did everything that friends were meant to do and then suddenly it was like... Like he was this whole different person.'

Anna simply nodded, was giving Ste the chance to continue if he so wanted. He then told her everything that happened in the where-house, detached himself from the situation because he didn't want to have to relive every feeling that he felt, found it too overwhelming. He told her how Leah got hurt, told her about each man that walked in to have their wicked way, told her about how he was injected frequently. And finally, he told her about how Brendan had come to the rescue, G's death, Ricki's death, and Walker's death.

'What was going on between Brendan and Walker when you grabbed the gun?'

She asked, didn't want to be brief, needed the infinite details so she could explore every emotion.

'They were fighting. I saw Ricki lying on the floor with a bullet through him, and Brendan was getting hurt and I just... Lost it. I grabbed the gun and shot him because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't mean to do it, but he hurt me so much, raped me, got other people to rape me, hurt my baby girl. I didn't know how else to stop him.'

The subject was becoming sensitive, Ste's throat turning dry, voice cracking and becoming hoarse. All of the emotions came flooding back, his confusion, anger, helplessness, pain, betrayal. Thankfully he had told her everything. Mostly.

'Ste this is really good.'

He hadn't noticed that she was taking notes. It was all in short hand so he had no idea what half of it said and he was obviously too indulged in what he was telling her to notice. He felt better though, oddly enough. Felt some sort of closure, that this was the end of this particular chapter in his life and he could now close that book and put it on the top shelf, out of sight so he wouldn't ever have to look back on it again.

'That'll be it for now. You've done so well. Look at the time! We've been chatting for three hours!'

She closed up her note pad and snapped the lid back onto her fountain pen, a smile on her face, the usual, kind and tentative grin that she always wore.

'I'm going to get some lunch. Care to join me?'

She asked, slipping her belongings and stationary back into her leather satchel, piling up the books and placing them back into the appropriate spaces on the shelf behind her.

'No I'm good thanks. Still full from breakfast. Probably just gunna head back to my room for a bit and revise for an exam or something.'

He got to his feet, was actually hungry once again but he didn't feel like socialising, was also slightly weary that Twitch would be staring him down again. He wanted to be back in the comfort of his own room, safe and secure.

'That's not a problem. I hope yesterday's went well'

She said with a smile of commemoration.

'How did you...'

'Mr Brady told me.'

Ste nodded, should have known. They have often been exchanging words behind his back, which again made him feel paranoid as to what they were saying but he understood well enough, that this was for his own benefit and Brendan had the right to know how he was doing.

'I'll see you later Ste. Have a good afternoon'

Ste wondered out of the room after saying his words of departure and thanking her for taking the time to listen. She said that is why she is here and he simply smiled. He shuffled down the corridor, swam in his own thoughts and walked towards the staircase, exchanged a smile with the lady at the front desk, the woman who had greeted him on his arrival. He could never remember her name, although he had been told on numerous occasions.

He liked walking up the winding staircase, liked to admire the paintings and chandeliers, the colour coordinations and ornaments of decor. It settled him slightly, felt historic in a way.

The hall in which his room was located was exactly the same, littered with paintings and photographs and peace lilies. As Ste neared his room, he noticed there was something on the floor, a box? A small package of sorts? He wasn't sure, but it was small and black, sealed by the looks of it. He reached the foot of the door and stared down at it. There was writing on a piece of paper, sticky taped to the side.

_Stuff_

It read.

Stuff?

What did that mean?

Then it clicked and Ste's eyes widened. Surely not? How had he managed to pull this off without getting spotted? His persona was enough to put anyone on guard and make him look suspicious.

'Jesus!'

Ste cursed, seizing the small box and pressing his thumb to the scanner. He forced open his door and slammed it closed, clutched the box hard in his right hand. His skin started to buzz with anticipation. This could be it, the thing he's been waiting for.

He took himself over to his bed, placed the package in the middle and sat cross legged in front of it, stared for a while at the scruffy writing. He dare not open it, was too scared that the craving would take over, was too scared of what might happen. But he had to be sure. For all he knew this could be a hoax, some sort of weird, sick joke to get Ste's veins thrumming with need.

He lifted the lid slowly, tried to control the minute burning in his arteries as he did so. His jaw dropped in shock when he saw a needle filled with Heroin sat comfortably at the bottom, the contents still bubbling. The package couldn't have been sat outside for long, must have been recently planted.

'Oh my god'

Ste said, running his fingers over the plastic syringe, could feel the warmth of the substance inside. He was beginning to twitch, a tick forming in his cheek and sweat covering his brow. He couldn't do this, couldn't throw everything away that he had worked hard for. But then again... He wanted this, wanted to feel high as a kite, weightless without any problems, wanted to scratch the itch and drown the fire.

He took the needle out of the box with his shaking hands, bought it up to his eye line so he could analyse the contents. His mouth was watering, his breathing deep and laboured. It was right there in front of him. All he had to do was snap off the cap and stab it into his veins and all of his problems would be buried under the hatchet. Accept, they wouldn't be. They'd get worse, he'd be in this place even longer and that wasn't an option.

The next thing he knew, there was a knock at the door and he heard the deep voice of Brendan work its way through the wood. He was talking to the lady from the front desk, because her laugh was recognisable anywhere. Before Ste could even think of what to do, the door swung open, and there he stood, the love of his life with a smile on his face.

Although, that smile instantaneously fell when he set his sights on Ste and the object he held in his hand.

'What the fuck is that?'

Brendan spat, hadn't even entered the room but when he did, he darted across onto the bed and snatched the needle out of Ste's hands. The boy was dumbfounded, speechless. The Irishman's gaze flicked between the needle and Ste, his brows knitting and eyes turning wild like a fire that had spun out of control.

'W-Were you gunna...'

He couldn't even fathom a sentence, felt like he had been stabbed in the chest by millions of knives. His grip began to tighten, his hands shaking and eyes watering with tears of hurt and betrayal. They had come so far and the selfish boy was about to fuck it all up. This was a dream? Surely? A nightmare? And any second he was about to wake up. Any second now...

'No Brendan... I wasn't. I swear. I found it outside and I didn't know what it was. I wasn't gunna do it.'

Ste was panicking, stuttering and tripping over his words. Brendan had got it wrong. Got it all wrong. He wasn't going to put his progress in jeopardy, wasn't going to take a million steps back just because he had been given an opportunity to inject.

Before Ste could protest further, Brendan had dropped the needle to the floor and stormed out of the room.

'No Brendan wait!'

Ste launched himself off the bed and sprinted out after him, saw him at the end of the hall, smashing up the paintings and ornaments as he passed like a bull in a china shop, merciless and raging.

'Brendan!'

He ran as fast as he could, needed to explain. Ste hopped over the smashed debris, sprinted as fast as his legs would carry him until he reached his delirious lover.

'Please. Bren just wait a sec'

He put his hands on both of the Irishman's shoulders but was forced off immediately and pinned to the wall, hard, Brendan's hands shaking, tears streaming down his face, eyes red with pent up fury.

'How the fuck could you do this to me?'

He spat, his fingers digging into Ste's collarbones.

'Listen to me! I wasn't going to do it I promise. I wouldn't risk losing you'

Brendan giggled, was practically insulted at how Ste was trying too wriggle his way out of it, as if he was telling him that he had seen it all wrong. He'd caught the boy red handed and it made him wonder whether he had been doing this the whole time he'd been here, whether he had sneakily injected himself whilst no one was looking.

'You selfish little prick. I put so much into you, into all of this. We kept the faith that you were gunna get better but you lied to all of us didn't you? You lied to me.'

Brendan smiled again, like he'd had a point of insight, of realisation.

'I should thank you I guess. Now I know that the boy I fell in love with is truly gone.'

The older man loosened his grip and stormed out of the building, Ste still hot on his heels because he'd gotten it all wrong. Why wouldn't he just listen?

'Brendan. No, I'm still me okay? I swear on my kids lives that I wasn't gunna do it. I wanted to but... Please just listen to me'

The boy was crying too, was absolutely petrified that he was about to lose the love of his life because of some stupid misunderstanding. This couldn't happen, he couldn't let Brendan slip between his fingers, couldn't let this tear his world apart. He needed this man in order to live, would feel empty and without purpose for the rest of his life if Brendan walked out on him now.

'Please... Brendan for fuck sake just listen to me! I love you. I wouldn't do this to someone I love... Wait...'

All of the boy's protests failed, and now, he was simply screaming into thin air because Brendan had gotten into his car and sped away.


End file.
